Desperate Times
by idon'tedit
Summary: "This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it." Ralph Waldo Emerson. What happens when two people decide to meddle with time? AU SSHG reposting of a previously deleted story so it is one really long chapter, fair warning


**Ch1: Song for this chapter: That Knot Unties by DavidKarsten Daniels**

* * *

It was Halloween, again. Every year I hoped that Halloween would be a little bit easier to get through, but it never got better. The 31rst of October. The day that any purpose in my life had gone away. The day that she went away. The prospect of dragging my aching body out of bed and forcing myself to teach class after class insufferable idiots the fine art of potion brewing was not so much daunting as it was impossible today. Today was the one day a year where it seemed entirely conceivable that I should stay in bed, and perhaps allow myself to cry. It had been twelve years now, and yet I still could not make it past this day without the fissure within my heart burning me painfully.

With a groan I did pull myself from bed, and I shuffled off to grab a hot shower. I didn't bother to light the lamps in my chambers, instead walking blindly past the furniture as if it did not exist. I stepped into the dark bathroom, doing my best to ignore how cold the stone floor felt beneath my feet as I lit a single candle sitting on the counter. It gave off just enough light to keep me from injuring myself, and not enough to force me to look at myself when I simply wasn't ready

I turned on the shower, and disrobed while the water grew hotter. I stood naked in front of the shower feeling the heated mist cling to my chest as the room began to fog up. I hesitated entering the shower, knowing myself well enough to know that my composure would buckle when the water was cascading over me. I shook my head in annoyance with my angst ridden feelings and pushed the shower curtain aside to step in.

"Stop acting like a teenager Severus," I told myself as I climbed into the shower and pulled the curtain closed behind me.

I tried to ignore the tightening in my chest and focus entirely on lathering my shampoo throughout my hair. I over emphasized circles on my scalp in an effort not to think about her, but it was of little use. I rinsed the soapy lather from my hair, and then I leaned my forehead against the stone wall that had been marginally warmed by the flowing of hot water, and I let out a shaky breath as my eyes drifted closed.

"Lily," I lamented, my agony dripping from that one word.

It felt as if a damn burst in my chest, and I allowed myself that huffy strangled breath that accompanied the few tears that fell from my eyes. I never allowed myself to cry for long, as a grown man I should be above such behavior, but once a year I simply couldn't refrain from the release.

When I exited the shower, I stood in front of the mirror wrapped in a black towel staring at my reflection in the rapidly refogging mirror. My hair was dripping onto my shoulders but I hardly felt it. I pulled out my long razor, and lathered shaving cream around my jaw with the brush. I made the first swipe of the razor across me jaw, and as I watched the blade move I thought about just how easy it would be to let the razor 'slip' off of the sharp line of my jaw and hit my throat. It would only take a few minutes for it to all end, with no one to hear anything happening down here in my basement chambers. I pushed the thought from my mind and continued shaving. I may be miserable, but I would not stoop to that level, yet. How in the world was I going to get through yet another year with the knowledge that she was gone? I could barely make it through my morning routine.

That was the same whirring through my mind when I slipped into the great hall to grab a bite to eat before my first lesson of the day. I sat down at the head table, and for one vibrant moment I had something to think about other than what a god forsaken day it was. What I had to think about what that the Granger girl had made a potentially grave error in her time calculations this morning. She was sitting huddled down at the end Gryffindor table wolfing down eggs like it was the first food she had seen in days, but she was also walking into the room with the wonder boy and his faithful sidekick.

I looked on wondering if this would turn into a train wreck that would require the wiping of memories or if the girl would catch what was going on and fix in time. I imagined it would be the former which is why I was completely against even the suggestion of giving a third year a time turner. I was still completely flabbergasted that the ministry had ever approved such a misadventure. No letter of recommendation should be enough to put the fabric of time in the hands of a pubescent girl.

Wonderboy chuckled loudly, and at the table Granger snapped her head up and saw herself entering the great hall. Interesting…I'm sure that the first rule she had been given was not to be seen by herself or to see herself for that matter. She ducked off the bench and scuttled along behind a moving group of Ravenclaw students. The trio had made it nearly to the table when one of the Ravenclaw students stopped and the duplicate Granger ran into her and shifted quickly to the side trying to whisper and apology while disappearing behind another student. She didn't manage it before the other Granger saw her. And then to my utter surprise the Granger that was walking with the boys actively drew their attention in the other direction to an owl that was flying toward at table. There was nothing special about the owl, but it did keep the boys looking away while Granger number two beat a hasty retreat.

Interesting… I thought as I poured myself a glass of pumpkin juice. That had the ring of something that had happened before. Clearly the girl wasn't as smart as people thought she was, she was slipping up. Though she wasn't doing a completely awful job of keeping it covered up. How many people were watching the students as closely as he in the great hall?

I wondered if Albus had noticed anything yet while I ate my hash browns. They had even less flavor that usual, and just like that I forgot all about Granger and my mind wandered to a different feisty Gryffindor. I was carried through breakfast with memories of the girl I lost to a cocky boy with insipid glasses.

Getting through my first lesson with the fifth years was for lack of better terminology agonizing. I swear the students were actually less intelligent than usual. All I had assigned was a simple sleeping potion, but they behaved as if I had asked them to make the elixir of life. I wanted to scream, or give them all detention or something, anything that would break up this day of remembrance. Of course it was a double lesson so I was stuck with the neophytes until the lunch break.

The lunch break did eventually come, but I did not make my way up to the great hall behind the students. I sat instead at my desk trying to focus on the rigidity of the wooden chair back instead of the black hole I was dancing around today. I wanted for just one year to not think about her, to not tread water through this day trying not to drown. I wished I could go back in time and erase any connection I'd ever had to Lily Potter so I wouldn't have to do this every year.

I got caught on that thought. Going back in time. That wasn't such an implausible idea. It was a long time to travel back, but by casting a spell on time turner it was doable. A heavily modified Portus charm would need to be placed on the time turner to bring the wearer back to present time without having to actually live through the years in between. So really, I just needed a time turner.

Funny that I would be thinking about the need for a time turner, and then it would be time for my next lesson which coincidentally was with the third year Gryffindor and Slytherin students. I need a time turner, and Miss Granger just happens to walk into my class room. That is just… convenient.

"Open your books to page 235," I told them while I strode out from behind my desk. "Follow the instructions there to brew the draught of peace."

The students jumped into action, and I swept through the room pretending to observe the class while actually watching the girl. She looked tired, like she hadn't slept in a week tired. She was probably worn out from all the time travel, convincing her to hand over the time turner for a night or two would be like taking candy from a baby. I just needed to facilitate the conversation.

"Miss Granger," I barked from behind her causing her to jump before. "Which method is best for obtaining powdered moonstone?"

The girl paused, and I could literally see her flipping through the text books in her mind searching for the answer. The silence dragged on as she slowly realized that none of them said anything about it.

"Tick tock Miss Granger," I prodded, honestly trying to annoy her.

Certainly this girl had only ever seen pre-crushed moonstone. That was how it was obtained from any store in England. How would the girl deal with not knowing that more than just a mortar and pestle were needed to crush such a strong stone?

"Buying it from an apothecary," she answered finally.

"Five points from Gryffindor for insolence," I snipped, watching the color rise up in her cheeks.

"That was not insolence… sir," she snipped back, her tiredness getting the better of her rapidly. "The method of crushing said stone is rather involved so the easiest method is simply to purchase it already crushed."

"I'm sorry, did I say easiest method? I do not believe I did," I grumbled. "Another five points from Gryffindor for your inability to listen to your professor."

"But sir…" she started, her ire growing.

"No, that is enough." I cut her off. "Why don't you join me in detention this evening after dinner as well?"

"Yes sir," she bit out her face flaming red in her clear anger at me.

I swept back to my desk the first step in my new plan completed. Next step getting the girl to hand over the time turner while in detention.

* * *

 **Ch2:Songs for this chapter: The Truth by the Spill Canvas and Oh Come Away/Sea to Land by Forest City Lovers**

I took dinner in my class room, ignoring the questioning look of the house elf that brought me a tray of food at my desk. I picked over my boiled potatoes deciding which moment in time was more important. Did I go back to the moment where I ruined my relationship to begin with? Or maybe the moment she had met James; cut this entire nightmare off at the head.

No, I couldn't do that. I couldn't erase an entire family to make myself happy in the future.

Why not go back to the moment that I told Voldemort about the prophecy? That should put the kibosh on this whole thing wouldn't it? Only, no it couldn't, because the night that I had been forced to tell him the prophecy I had not had a choice in the matter. I had to go to the meeting or face the punishment of desertion, and once at the meeting my fate was sealed. The Dark Lord could perform legilimency much better than I at that point in my life, he would have picked the secret from my mind. If I were to refrain from handing that information over willingly I would be painted a traitor and treated accordingly. No at that particular point in time there is no changing my course of action.

But I could change the actions of someone else. I could go back to when I was in servitude to Dumbledore, and I could simply leak the information to him that Peter Pettigrew was in fact a traitor. If he were to attempt legilimency on me, he would see the truth in my conviction that I was speaking the truth. He would not allow the little rat to become the secret keeper, he would make Sirius Black do it after all. That was the way to stop this, the way to save her.

There was a knock at the door.

"Enter," I said as smoothly as possible, trying to cover the shock I felt at being jarred out of my plotting.

The door swung open and in walked Miss Granger. She looked even more tired than this morning. This would be like taking candy from a half asleep baby. I pushed my uneaten dinner to the side and gestured to the desk in front of me before folding my hands on the desk before me.

"Good evening Miss Granger," I said tightly. "As we both know you are here for your smart mouth this afternoon, but are you aware that you are here for another reason as well?"

"No sir," she said quietly, keeping her head partially bowed in either a sign of respect, or a refusal to meet my gaze, I wasn't sure.

"Well, you were so extraordinarily distracted this morning at breakfast that neither of yourselves, noticed that you were seen," I pointed out, allowing my mouth to quirk into a sneer. "Both of you, at the same time in the same room, by at least me, if not others."

"I have no idea what you are talking about," she hedged.

"Do not attempt to mislead me," I snipped. "I also know that you did such a knock up job with the time turner this morning that you saw yourself as well. Both of you did actually."

"It was a simple mix up," she hedged quietly. "And I distracted the people nearby before they could notice the other me."

"Yes, you maneuvered those around you like a pro," I said in false congratulations. "Which suggests this isn't the first time it happened, is it?"

There were several beats of silence, where she sat there her mouth flopping open and shut unattractively like a fish. She seemed unwilling to admit what we both knew was the truth.

"So we could just sit here and serve your detention, and then I can alert the ministry of your inability to properly manage your time turner," I said harshly. "Or you can sit here and serve and hours detention alone, while I take use of that time turner for some of my own business. In which case your failures remain your own dirty little secret."

"What?" she gasped, suddenly finding her voice. "I can't… I mean, no. That's just absurd. The time turner is not to leave my possession!"

I was surprised by the virility of her response. Yes she was flustered, but that was likely due to the sleep deprivation. The fact that she was not supposed to use the time turner for anything other than school, and she was to be the only person to use it was still quite clear in her mind. And she was willing to argue that point with a man who clearly scared her.

"Obviously that rule was instated to keep you from doing misdeeds for your less than intelligent little friends Potter and Weasley," I said smoothly. "I am your professor and as such I am in a position of authority over you. You are required to do as I tell you to. Or do we need to take up the issue with the headmaster?"

Her face blanched before a blush began to climb into her cheeks. I got the distinct impression that she was having more trouble managing the time turner than I was privy to. Trouble she wasn't in a rush to share with the headmaster.

"I'd like to propose a compromise," she said quietly as the blush receded her from her cheeks leaving her pasty once more. "I will allow you the use of the time turner for what you need to alter, but I will accompany you so I might preserve the rule that I not allow the it out of my possession."

I pondered that. She was a bright witch for her age, but she was of no real use to me in what I was doing. In fact she was a liability should she decide to speak up about what I was doing. She was likely to be more trouble than she was worth, but what was the alternative? Shooting down her compromise and having her run off to Dumbledore to tell him I had been plotting to drastically alter the past? That was not acceptable.

"Fine," I said probably more harshly than the situation merited. "But if you intend to enter the past with me, I will require your word that you will not share what we are doing, or the magic I intend to use to make our travels possible."

"You have my word," she said quickly, her face lighting up at the prospect of new magic

"I am going to need more than you simply saying you will keep your word," I pushed drawing my wand from within the folds of my robes. "I will require the signing of a binding magical contract."

I cut my wand through the air conjuring a parchment upon which nothing could be seen but on which the contract that she would keep the secret was already embedded.

"You need only sign," I said, indicating the parchment on the desk.

"I need a quill," she said quietly as she left her seat at the table and came to stand in front of my desk.

I pulled open a drawer and dug out a quill and ink well for her. I set them on the desk between us, and gestured for her to do her duty.

I watched as she picked up the quill, dipped it in the ink well, and began to write. When it took longer than the signing of a name should I looked at the parchment to see what exactly she was doing. In her neat scrawl I saw that she was writing a contract of her own

 _I promise to help Severus Snape without divulging his secrets._

 _Hermione Jean Granger_

"That was unnecessary," I jabbed with a sneer. "The parchment was already bewitched with the contract."

"I'm aware," she said smartly standing up to her full height. "I wished for it to be specific as well as visible. I would like for you to sign it as well."

"How would you like me to sign it witch?" I sneered, offended by her assumption of equality.

"Something along the lines of keeping your word and not divulging my secrets," she shot back just as snippily.

I stuck my hand out waiting for her to drop the quill into it with a sneer on my face. The little witch was getting on my last nerve.

 _I will keep my promises to Hermione Granger and protect her secrets._

 _Severus Snape_

I set the quill down and looked at her expectantly, as if to ask her if she was pleased, but I did not speak.

"I have one other request if you would be so obliged," she said so quietly I nearly did not hear her.

"And what may I ask is that?" I snapped.

"I don't know what we are going back to change," she hedged. "But I think it would be helpful if you were to write down what you know to be true about this reality before we go back. In case your knowledge of the present is altered by whatever you do. That way you can be sure that we were successful."

I was pulled up short by that. It was actually a very good idea. It occurred to me that Miss Granger might have more knowledge about time travel than I. Perhaps she was more of an asset than I realized.

"Fine," I said stiffly, holding onto the façade that I thought her ideas were idiotic. "Take a seat, this could take a bit."

To my surprise she grabbed a stool from one of the tables and sat down right in front of the desk. I considered demanding space, but if she was going back with me, then I was going to be ill equipped to keep my motive secret from her anyway. I focused instead on creating a quick bullet list of the truths I thought might be effected by what we were about to do. I dug out a sheet of parchment.

 _The war has ended._

 _Harry Potter is famous for the defeat of the Dark Lord._

 _Lily and James and dead._

 _I am in the service of Albus Dumbledore._

I did not continue any further. Those were the points most likely to be effected by what we were about to do. I snatched the finished listed off of the desk and place it in the top drawer along with my quill and ink. I stood from my seat and waited for Miss Granger to join me.

"What spell are we using to travel so far back," she asked hurrying around to stand beside me. "And how are we going to get back without having to live through the years in between?"

"I am going to bewitch the time turner to work somewhat like a portkey." I answered her plainly, annoyance battling with admiration for her thirst for knowledge. "I will not be sharing the spell that sends us back as it is important you not attempt something like this without me present, I will tell you the spell that will bring us back, on the off chance that you will be the one who has to cast it."

Her brow shot up at that, and I could see her wheels turning, trying to decipher what exactly I meant by that.

"The return spell is diritornu," I told her opting to ignore the question on her face. "Are you ready?"

She nodded, and reached within her blouse to pull out the time turner. She pulled the lengthy chain out and offered it up to me. I took it from her hand and pulled it over my head as well, stooping slightly so it didn't pull against her throat unnecessarily. I tapped my wand against the time turner thinking of the night I had told Dumbledore about the prophecy. I focused my mind on the spell, accessing m magic silently. Accelerantempo, I thought as I removed my wand and gave the time turner a single turn.

The dungeon classroom lost focus around us and the world blurred by quickly around us. I caught snippets of change in light or temperature, but we were moving too quickly through time to really catch anything that was happening.

When it did stop, we were still in the potions classroom, but it did look a little different. There were different books on the shelves near the desk, the chair at the desk was gaudy and fluffy, and there were extra candles strewn about for added light. This was the classroom of a not yet retired Horace Slughorn. Luckily we had arrived at night so no one else was in the room with us.

I removed the time turner from around my neck and nodded for Miss Granger to follow me. I walked briskly from the room, with the student trailing behind me quickly trying to tuck the time turner away at the same time. I took every secret passage and side corridor I could manage as I made my way toward the headmaster's office. I knew the castle well, but at this particular point in time I did not work here so it would not due to be spotted by anyone other than Dumbledore.

When we got to the stone gargoyles that guarded the entrance I realized we had hit our first road block. I did not know the current password. I was turning back from the entrance to tell Hermione we needed to check the staff room when I heard the swishing of fabric that meant there was someone else in the corridor with us.

"Severus Snape?" the voice called and I realized the headmaster had just joined us in the hallway.

I put my finger to my lips indicating that Miss Granger should not speak. I turned back to face the headmaster placing my hands on my hips to broaden my frame and hide the slight witch behind me.

"Headmaster," I said quietly with a slight dip of my head in greeting.

"You got up here awfully fast, my boy," he said in an intrigued voice. "Is there something you forgot to tell me at our little meeting?"

"I was going on my way, and it occurred to me that you might use the Fidelius charm to hide the Potters," I answered quickly. "Obviously you would choose one of their friends to be the secret keeper. So I thought it important to inform you that I have seen Peter Pettigrew associating with known death eaters. I am not sure his allegiance is to the light."

"Is that so Severus?" he asked as he drew closer. "I shall have to investigate that little fact. As for the Fidelius charm, no decisions have been made yet. You look older Severus, is your choice weighing on you so quickly?"

"My allegiance has not changed since I last spoke to you," I said plainly. "I am just weary of my upcoming responsibilities is all."

"Very well Severus, you had better be on your way," he said quietly as he reached the stone gargoyles. "It wouldn't do for anyone to see you here."

"Yes sir," I nodded dipping my head again, before I backed up gently hoping that Miss Granger was smart enough to move with me without making a scene.

She placed her hand against my shoulder as she moved with me, and I would have snapped at her if I hadn't realized she was doing it to keep a measure of where she needed to stand in order to remain hidden as I backed away from the headmaster. As soon as the old man leaned in and whispered the password to the statue, likely to keep a man he did not entirely trust from learning it, I spun quickly on the spot so that my back was too him but my companion was still concealed. I hurried her forward down the corridor until we could slide behind a tapestry that masked a hidden passage.

"Hurry and get under," Miss Granger whispered, pulling the time turner back out.

"No, we have to stay and make sure that he follows the instruction or there was no point," I instructed in a whisper of my own.

"Just how long do you intend to stay?" she asked her voice rising.

"Well, the Potters were killed seven days after I delivered that information to both of my masters," I told her harshly, my anger misplaced. "So we only have to wait a week to find out if we were successful."

"And what do you intended to do for a week," she scathed in a high pitched whisper. "That's an awful lot of time to accidentally destroy our future."

"We will remain hidden," I said coolly. "And we already know where the Potters will be concealed so we know where we have to be to find out if we have been successful."

"Are you still certain they will be in the same place?" she asked me, not even bothering to whisper anymore. "What if your warning has him place them somewhere else?"

"He won't," I said quietly. "That house in Godric's Hollow is the safest place to put them. It wasn't the lack of safety that got them killed it was a treacherous rat."

"Well lead the way then," she resigned, crossing her arms over her chest. "I sure hope you have a tent hidden away in your robes."

I just shook my head and led her back through the winding side tunnels to the back entrance to the courtyard that had an exit onto the grounds. We moved through the shadows out onto the grounds and hurried behind the green houses keeping an eye out for other people. We kept up a brisk pace across the open area between the green houses and the tree line. I happened to see two students who were otherwise involved in the bushes by the lake and the teacher in me was tempted to hand out detentions for such promiscuity but I kept moving. By the time we finally reached the wrought iron gates I could hear Miss Granger struggling to catch her breath and I was tempted to suggest she do daily exercises to avoid such a situation, but I refrained.

"Take my hand," I instructed putting my hand out as soon as we were clear of the grounds.

She did so quickly, and I gripped her hand tightly as I turned on the spot aparating us to the town center in Godric's Hollow.

It had been a long time since I had been here, and even longer since I had been here without there being a monument to the end of the war, to the sacrifice of the Potters anywhere here in town. It was a week before Halloween, so it wasn't terribly cold out, but it was dark and I got the distinct impression that Miss Granger needed to sit down for a minute at least.

"The house two houses down from the Potter's is vacant right now," I finally said aloud as I started walking out of the town center. "We will set up camp there."

She nodded her head and followed behind me as quickly as she could, doing her best to conceal the fact that she was out of breath. It was late enough in the evening that most everyone had settled in for the night. The street was empty so we didn't really have to worry about running in to anyone. We still hurried though, on the off chance that someone looked out their window, it simply wouldn't do for them to see me. Because at this point in time my actions as a death eater weren't exactly under wraps.

Walking past the Potter house was more difficult than I expected it to be. I couldn't just not look. I stopped and looked in through their open shades. Lily was right there in the living room holding baby Harry while James carved a pumpkin. It was a snapshot of happy family. They had no idea what was about to happen in their lives. I was still looking in through the window when the fireplace flared to life announcing a floo call.

"Sir, perhaps we should keep moving," Miss Granger suggested quietly from beside me.

"Yes of course" I said in a surprisingly tight voice

I turned on my heel and led her the rest of the way to the house without looking back. It wouldn't do to slip up in front of a student like that. I was supposed to be the emotionless, evil, potions master, not some soft man who nearly collapsed into tears at the sight of the love of his life alive once more. Even if she was sharing a happy moment with another man, she was alive. And she was still so incredibly beautiful. This was going to be harder than I thought.

I pushed open the gate and we stepped into the yard that was surprisingly well groomed for an empty house. We walked up the cobbled stone front walk, and I tried to pretend we weren't breaking and entering as I used my wand to gain us entrance into the dark house. The house was completely empty, and there were no shades on any of the windows so we would have to stay in one of the rooms that didn't look out onto the street.

We walked silently through the dark house, and I was glad there was nothing for us to trip over because my eyes had not yet adjust to the lack of light inside the house. We went into a back room that looked like perhaps it was supposed to be a den or an office. It only had one window and it face into the yard by a tree. Someone would have to really be looking to notice that we were here. I conjured jar and rounded on the witch.

"If I remember correctly you have a skill for bluebell flames." I said holding out the jar to her. "Why don't you give us a bit of light while I conjure some accommodations?"

She nodded reaching out to take the jar from my hands. I could see the concern on her face, so I immediately turned my back on her once more. I conjured to cots with blankets and placed them on opposite sides of the room. I took a seat on the cot nearest the window finally looking back at Miss Granger as she put the jar of flame on the ground in the middle of the room.

"You know you wouldn't get nearly as winded on a jaunt like that if you did daily exercise," I said as she sat down on the other cot.

She bit her lip and I wondered what she was trying not to say.

"Did they not have some sort of physical education class at your old muggle school?" I pushed, wanting her on the defensive so that pity look would completely disappear from her face.

"Well of course they did," she scoffed. "I haven't attended Muggle School for three years, as my professor I would think you would know that.""

"Even so, don' they talk about how daily activity is healthy?" I prodded. "That would continue beyond schooling would it not?"

"Yeah I guess it's supposed to," she said petulantly. "You can't tell me you do exercises every single day."

"I do actually," I said with the tiniest smile before my features returned to normal. "I do a few things each morning."

She laughed at that for a second before she seemed to realize she was laughing at one of the most intimidating professor at Hogwarts. Her laughter died on her lips and she looked around the room nervously.

"So what are the chances of the plumbing working here?" she asked.

"It's a house in a magical community, there's no need to turn the water off or on." I answered plainly "Don't light your wand while looking for the bathroom though, most of the windows face the street."

She nodded and made her way silently out of the room. While she was gone I slid my boots off and set them on the floor. I unbutton my otter robes and folded them neatly setting them on top of my boots. I climbed under the blankets on my cot in my slacks and button down. It wouldn't exactly be comfortable to sleep like that, but I couldn't very well sleep in less when a student was going to be in the room. It was bad enough that I was sharing a room with a student to begin with.

I rolled over so my back faced her cot and tried to will myself to fall asleep. Instead I lay there with my eyes closed images of a laughing Lily playing behind my eyes. Lily laughing. Lily holding her baby like it was the most precious thing in the world. Lily with love shining out of her eyes, even if it were for another man. It seemed to take a lifetime but I did eventually fall to sleep.

I woke with the sun, and saw that the young witch was still asleep. She was thirteen, she'd probably sleep as last as she was allowed to. I'd let her, there was nothing for us to do until the sun went down anyway. So I put her out of my mind and started doing my morning stretches. When the stiffness in my back passed I decided to go find that bathroom Miss Granger had run off too last night.

I went about using the facilities, though I opted not to take a shower since there weren't any towels. I splashed some water on my face and rinsed out my mouth, doing my best not to smell like a complete barbarian, and then I made my way back to the little room at the back of the house.

I went back to my morning ritual. I did some jumping jacks to get my heart rate up, and then I did some squats while I stared at the wall in front of me. When I could feel the burn in my quads I moved on to push-ups and did the same thing. When my arms wanted to shake from exertion I rolled onto my back and started to do crunches. I never counted them, there wasn't really a point. It wasn't about a number; it was about working until my body was fulfilled.

When I was done with the crunches I stood up to a do a few more stretches as a cool down. I looked up as I came out of a full body stretch and I saw Miss Granger sitting up in her cot watching me. She looked ridiculous sitting there gaping at me with her bushy hair in a twisted mess atop her head. I had to fight off a laugh.

"So you really do work out each morning," she asked as she stretched, but when the blanket started to fall off of her she grabbed it and her face turned scarlet.

That seemed odd. I looked at the ground and realized the issue. She had come in after I had fallen asleep, and because of this I assume she had no issue taking off her jeans as well as her outer robes when she had gone to bed. I thought I might feel color climbing into my cheeks.

"Yes, I was in fact telling the truth last night," I said brusquely as I made my way out of the room so she could make herself presentable. "You should do it as well."

I stood in the hallway facing out toward the living room while I waited for her to dress. I could hear her rustling around so I knew she was. I would have to address the propriety of such an action, it couldn't happen again in the next six nights. I was pondering what exactly I would say when she hurried past me with flaming cheeks heading for the bathroom.

I went back into our room and neatly made up my cot. I sat on the edge to pull my boots back on, shifting my slacks back into place. I debated whether I wanted to put my outer robes back on, but in light of that lack of propriety that had just taken place I decided to put them on even though I was still feeling a bit warm. I might feel overly warm, but the firm line between professor and student would be reestablished so it would be worth it.

Miss Granger returned and set to work making up her bed as well before she sat down facing me her face still red as a berry. We sat in an awkward silence for a while, but she eventually broke it to stutter out an apology for the inappropriate situation. I waved her off not wanting to linger on it any more than was strictly necessary. I even agreed to wake her up to work out with me for the rest of the days that we would be here, and that finally got the blush to go away.

We made quiet conversation throughout the day about simple things. Upcoming work in potions, the effect of beginning grades in courses when it came to finding a career, the effect of time travel on the human aging process. Simple things. It was something to do until the sun went down, and I could go check on the Potters, and make sure they were still alive, that nothing had gone amiss.

Miss Granger accompanied me when I ventured out into the night. I wasn't sure if it was because she didn't want to be left alone in the house that we had essentially stolen, or if she was worried about me going by myself. Worried that I might just waltzed on up to the front door or something. When I froze staring in the window once more I thought it might be the latter. Lily was still alive, but she wasn't smiling this time. She looked scared, and she was holding the baby like it might fly away if she let it go for even a second. It was harder to walk away from the window a second time.

-`-'-

We feel into a rhythm however strange, and most likely inappropriate it was. We got up in the morning to do our short work out. Miss Granger would go take a shower, having taken it upon herself to conjure towels for us, and I would go get food from the market on the corner where no one in the staff seemed to recognize me. We would spend the day staying out of sight finding something to talk about or just sitting together in silence. Then at night we would go and see if anything had changed. Check to make sure no one had murdered the love of my life. Not that Miss Granger knew what Lily really meant to me.

Eventually the week ended, and Halloween came. I was on edge the entire day. The quiet sounds of the young witch moving about the house nearly made me jump out of my skin. I didn't bother to go get food because I wants even remotely hungry. Today was the day when we would find out if it had been enough. Surely removing Peter Pettigrew from the equation would be enough. There would be no one else to give up their location, or the location of whoever might be the secret keeper. No other traitors.

When the sun started to go down I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to move closer to the house, so I could keep a better eye on them. Miss Granger was adamant that she accompany me, so I cast a disillusionment charm on her. If the Dark Lord were to show up and somehow spot me, I could make something up about hearing a rumor and coming to try and find out if it were true to get out of trouble. Miss Granger would be too difficult to explain.

So with her invisible to the world we made our way down the street and I stood there obscured by the tree in their neighbors yard watching, and waiting. It grew darker and colder as the night went on, but everything seemed well. I felt a weight lifting in my chest at the thought of a Lily staying alive. I allowed myself to feel the hope a future that was not nearly as bleak as the one I was currently living in.

And that was the worst possible thing I could have done. It seemed the second I felt something other than misery I had sealed their fate. A crack rent the air, and the street before us that had once been empty was filled with two men I would recognize anywhere, one of them the worse for the wear. The Dark Lord stood tall in the street, his hand woven through the hair of the man half collapsed at his side. Sirius Black was bleeding profusely and seemed to be barely clinging to consciousness.

"Tell me which one is the right house," the Dark Lord demanded in his high pitched evil voice.

"I will never tell you," the broken man said as fiercely as he could from his position at his captors feet.

"Ah the first village where your answer wasn't something along the lines of this isn't the right place, or they'd never stay here," the Dark Lord barked a laugh. "So this is the right place. I no longer need you. Avada Kedavra."

A green light flashed in the night and Sirius collapsed to the ground as the Dark Lord started to move forward. On instinct I moved away from the tree to stop him, but I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and try to hold me in place. I struggled against them realizing that the young witch was going to try and stop me from saving Lily.

The door of the house across the street was blasted open, and I heard James Potter cry out to his wife to fun. I pushed the witch off of me as a second green flash broke up the night. I started to run across the street and the wench tackled me from behind. I felt the skin of my face tearing against the pavement but I didn't care. I found to get her off of me the sound of Lily screaming inside her house torturing me.

I was fighting my way back up on to my feet, and the night went eerily quiet. Lily had fallen quiet. It felt like my heart was ripping in two. I couldn't think, I could hardly move, all I could do was feel as my soul ripped in two. I started moving forward again, and I ran into a solid wall. I couldn't see anything in front of me, but I was being pushed back. My brain was slowed down by my grief, it took longer than it should have to understand that Miss Granger was pushing me back away from the house. She was trying to move me away, and I was frozen in the middle of the street as my world feel apart again.

Then the night was bright with light. The house exploded outward blowing us both across the street in the blast. We landed in the yard with debris on top of us. I had the vague impression that I might be injured, but it didn't matter. Beyond the ringing in my ears I thought I heard a baby crying, and a girl saying something. Suddenly the young witch appeared above me. Her form was swimming back and forth and I realized that I was crying.

She leaned in close wiping away my tears with one hand as she reached inside her blouse with the other. I watched in a daze as she leaned in so close, pulling me into her arms like she was hugging me. She threw a chain around my neck.

"Diritornu," she said as she held me tightly to her.

There was a tugging sensation and the world around us blurred. It didn't matter that she was my student in that moment; I clung to her like she was life itself. When the wild ride finally ended we were returned to my potions classroom. The spell had worked just like I had planned it to, it was just the plan that hadn't worked.

That snapped me far enough out of my grief to realize I was tangled up in the arms of a thirteen year old witch. I pulled myself away from her, and out from under the time turner. I scrubbed at my face trying to get the tears to stop but there was no use. She was dead. Again. Still.

"Get out," I barked at her and she jumped in surprise.

"Professor," she gasped stepping back from me. "You… I think you need a doctor."

"I said get out!" I shouted at her, throwing my arm out in a gesture toward the door.

She didn't wait to be yelled at any longer. She hurried out of the room, and I noticed that she was limping slightly and her robe was torn. I saw her reaching into her blouse once more, and I wondered what she would be going back in time for now.

I turned my back and headed for the hidden entrance to my private quarters trying not to think about that. It was going to be hard to explain how she had sustained injuries while serving a detention with me. Trying to ignore the questions my mind threw up about what she was doing now.

I didn't have it in me to care as I collapsed on my bed and buried my face in the pillows allowing the grief to take me. What had been the point? The Potter's had still been brutally murdered, and now their friend Sirius Black was added to the mix. I had only created more death. There hadn't been any good at all.

* * *

 **Ch3:Song for this chapter: Lacrimosa by Motzart**

 **HPOV**

The only thought going through my head as I tugged the time turner back out from within my robes was stop. Stop. Don't let that happen. Stop it. So I turned it. Just one turn. It was all I would need to go back and stop us from returning and doing that. There were two things I was sure of. We hadn't altered what we had gone back to alter, and Sirius Black couldn't be the traitor everyone thought he was after all.

With the spinning of the time turner the hallway outside the classroom didn't change much. I wasn't going back very far. Just enough to intercept myself and Professor Snape before we travel back. I was going to be breaking the being seen rule, but it was the only way to get their attention and make them stop, a note just wasn't going to cut it this time.

The world stopped moving around me, and I listened keenly at the door. I could hear myself speaking with Professor Snape, instructing him to make his list of truths. We were about to go back in time. I hurried to push the door open and step back inside of the classroom, closing the door rapidly behind me.

Both of their heads snapped up, shock coloring their faces as the realized who I was. I saw worry overtake my own features when she saw that my clothes were torn and I had sustained injuries to my face, as well as other places that she couldn't see.

"What is the meaning of this?" Professor Snape said icily from behind his desk, frozen in the motion of putting his list in his desk drawer.

"I'm here to stop he two of, well us, from going back to do what we are about to do," I said quietly.

"It doesn't go well then?" the other me said staring pointedly at my face and I reached up to touch it realizing that I was bleeding.

"No, it doesn't work," I said quickly before locking eyes with Professor Snape. "And you come out much worse for the wear."

"They still die then?" he questioned, his voice going dead as he sunk back down into his desk chair.

"Yes, and so does Sirius Black," I told him quickly. "You can't go back right now. We have to do it differently, later."

"Well what happens now then?" the other me asked. "How long until we get back to your present?"

"I only came back by an hour," I told her quietly. "So you just have to keep from being seen for an hour, and then you will fade."

"Well then, I guess I'll go to the library and get some more of our homework done," she said quietly.

The other me swept out of the room quietly without so much as a backward glance. I stood there watching Professor Snape as he sat staring at the desk in front of him, absorbing the news that his plans would have failed. It was just as difficult to look at this version of him as it was to cradle his crying form.

"I think I have another idea on how to fix it," I told him quietly. "But you can't come back with me."

"I have no intention of handing over such powerful magic to a thirteen year old witch," he snipped.

"With all due respect sir, you were the one who caused serious problems with the time stream," I said quietly bowing my head against the onslaught I knew was coming. "You very nearly got us both killed back there."

That created a deafening silence between us. I could see him trying to process what I was saying to him, and I couldn't do anything to hurry him along.

"Why bother if it is not going to be successful," he said quietly folding his hands on the desk and looking up to meet my gaze.

"Sir, it was just that attempt that did not work," I answered, my feet moving me closer to his desk on their own accord. "I said I would help you with this, and I intend to do so. I just have to do it by myself."

"And I am just supposed to trust you to meddle about in my personal history," he growled his eyes dark and menacing.

"It's not only your history sir," I whispered before clearing my throat. "And I have bound myself magically to help you, it would be impossible for me to do anything other than that."

He paused for a minute, staring into my eyes, and I wondered if he was reading my mind somehow.

"Very well," he sighed. "The spell to send you back is Accelerantempo. You have to tap the time turner with your wand while you think about when you want to go back to. Then it just takes one turn. I assume you remember the return spell?"

I nodded. Then I took a seat at one of the tables.

"When are you planning to go back?" he asked me, his face softening somewhat.

"As soon as the hour is up," I said quietly. "I don't want to create a third Hermione running around, and if I am correct, my injuries will also disappear at that point, which would make this much easier."

"How exactly did you become injured?" he asked me, and I was surprised to see that he actually looked concerned.

"You tried to run into the house, and I was pulling you away when the house exploded," I explained. "We were hit by the debris."

"You had to physically restrain me?" he gasped. "I didn't realize…"

"You love her don't you?" I whispered, knowing even as I said it I was crossing a line.

He did answer, but his face screamed Yes, and don't you dare tell. We sat in a stiff silence for a long time, with neither one of us knowing how to break it.

"So in a few minutes, when we hit the hour mark. What will I remember?" he asked quietly, and she was surprised to see him admit he didn't actually know.

"You will fade, and the Severus from my future will remain." I explained. "You will remember this conversation as well as the trip that we took back in time. The memories sort of meld together, though to be honest I don't understand exactly how that works."

"And when you go back again," he continued. "The changes will be a part of my memory, but I won't know that you changed it?"

"As long as you don't see me," I pointed out. "If you see me, you might not recognize me then, but you will in the present so you will know that I was there."

"I think I am getting a headache," he groaned running his fingers through his black hair in frustration.

"That could be either from too much thinking," I chuckled. "Or you could be starting to fade into your other self, who I had to tackle to the street and may very well have a concussion."

"Fantastic," he said in a voice that said he clearly met something else.

And just like that he started to be less visible. He faded around the edges until I was sitting alone in the classroom. I felt the pain recede out of my body and I reached up to touch my cheek, I was no longer injured. That particular timeline had been erased.

I pulled the time turner out of my robes, and focused on Halloween day twelve years ago. I placed my wand against the time turner and whispered Accelerantempo, and then I gave it one turn. Just like last time the world blurred rapidly around me. As it started to slow I realized my mistake. I was going to appear in the classroom in the middle of the day. I started moving forward hoping I wouldn't crash into a table since I couldn't really see where I was going in the blurred world.

When it finally stopped I was at the door. I could hear a lecture taking place behind me, and I had to hope that at least the students had their backs turned to me. There was a chance that the professor saw me, but I dove out of the room not waiting to find out. The corridor was empty, so I ran full out without interruption. I dashed through the castle until I was out in the glorious sun filled grounds. I booked it across the sloping lawn, ignoring the students who were in their care of magical creatures lesson and heading for the gates. A week of exercise hadn't made a huge change, so I was still fairly winded when I reached the gate, but I thought maybe I got there faster this time.

I walked the winding path down to Hogsmeade so that I could call the night bus without it being automatically assumed that I was a Hogwarts student. I assumed I would be refused a ride in that case. Luckily I had worn jeans and a sweater today so when paired with my black robe I didn't exactly scream student. I twisted my hair around into somewhat messy bun, sticking a quill I found in my pocket through it, as I continued walking. I dabbed at the little sweat that had collected on my forehead and tried to give off an air of adult as I stuck out my wand arm to summon the Knight Bus.

A crack rent the air, and the purple double decker appeared in front of me. A greasy faced skinny boy, who looked like he couldn't be older than nine or ten, in a purple jacket hoped out to great me. I tuned out his introduction and description of the bus, simply waiting for him to stop speaking so I could tell him where I needed to go.

"I need a lift to Godric's Hollow," I told him as I dug in my pocket for money to give him.

I just barely had enough money in my pocket to gain passage on the bus, I was going to have to start carrying more money with me from now on. He gave me a ticket and I climbed on to the bus grabbing one of the arm chairs closest to the front, and ignoring all the other passengers. I hated the Knight Bus, so I closed my eyes and latched my arms onto the arms of the seat hoping I wouldn't get dumped on the floor when the chair lurched around.

With a bang we were off again, and my chair slid left then right. It slid back about four feet and I was wondering why they didn't just bolt the furniture down like the seats on a regular bus. There was another bang and we screeched to a stop, my chair sliding back up toward the front of the bus. I opened my eyes and saw that we were in London. I was in for a longer ride so I just closed my eyes and prepared for another lurching ride.

There was a pause while I assumed one of the passengers was disembarking. Once again a cracking sound filled the air, and we were moving. My chair slid so quickly to the right that I thought it was going to topple over. I squealed in surprise as I threw my weight to the left to counterbalance it. I heard a few of the chairs behind me hit the ground and I knew that I my decision had been the right one.

We lurched left, right, and left again. Then another loud crack filled my ears and we stopped moving. I opened my eyes and I recognized the town Square of Godric's Hollow so I stood from my seat and walked on wobbling legs to get off of the bus. I waved a hasty goodbye to the driver and walked away from the bus. I jumped when the air was filled with the last crack I hoped to hear today, as the bus disappeared.

I ran different ideas on how to accomplish what I needed to as I walked toward the Potter house, and I decided I might as well go with the open and forward approach. I had to hope they wouldn't be so startled by my walking up to their house to be unable to listen to what I was telling them to do. I couldn't very well say, so hey I come from the future where the Fidelius charm is no longer in effect so I can see your house just fine. That would absolutely freak them out.

I lingered at the gate to their house, gathering my courage, before I finally made my way up the front walk, squinting my eyes at the sunlight bouncing off of their windows. I stopped in front of the door, taking a second to straighten my clothes, feeling an insane need to impress my good friends parents even though they would not know who I was, and I finally knocked on the door.

I could hear movement behind the door, and a murmured question from a man. A woman's voice murmured back, and then the door swung open.

"How can I help you miss?" James said as he stood in the partially open doorway with a smile.

I could see he was going for the normal approach, pretending it wasn't odd that I was knocking on his door when I shouldn't be able to see his house. I was willing to bet that his hand on the door was ready to slam it shut, and his other hand which looked like it was casually placed against the wall was sure to be holding his wand, ready to attack.

"Hello," I said brightly. "This is going to sound strange, but I hope you will listen to me. I think you should go out tonight. Just go to the park, or out to dinner, or something. Just don't be in your house."

"I don't mean to be rude, but why exactly should I listen to you?" he said in a bit of a terse voice.

I tried to quickly think of a plausible lie.

"I have the occasional vision of the future," I said trying to sound believable rather than crazy like Trelawney. "They don't come often, but I have yet to have one that didn't come true. Today I had a vision of your house blowing up. In my vision it happened tonight with all of you home. As you can imagine it did not end well."

"Well, my family and I will consider what you have said and we will make a decision on our own," he said with a tight smile. "Thank you for letting us know what you saw."

"Oh of course," I said with a smile, baking up at the obvious dismissal. "Have a good Holiday Mr. Potter."

"You to Miss?" he trailed off.

I didn't answer. If this worked, I couldn't have them knowing who I was. In twelve years I would just have to hope I didn't look too familiar to them. I walked casually down the walk and back out of the yard. Since I could not be certain if they were still watching, and I couldn't afford for them to be suspicious of me, I continued walking down the street and around the corner.

As soon as I was sure that I was out of the sight line of the house I drew my wand and cast a quick disillusionment charm on myself. I stowed my wand back away and I ran all the way back to the house. I hoisted myself over the fence so they wouldn't see the gate open and close. I bustled up to the house peeking in windows until I found them in the kitchen. Lily was feeding Harry while James was pacing back and forth. They were talking.

"I sent a patronus to Albus, he will be here shortly," James said dragging his hands through his hair. "Without her even telling her name, how can we know if she was a Death Eater. I just don't trust it."

"Why lure us out of the house?" Lily said while she attempted to airplane smashed peas into baby Harry's mouth. "If the death eaters already know where we live they would just come for us."

"How was she able to see our house though?" he questioned his voice rising. "You don't think its possible that Wormtail gave up our location?"

"No, he was the perfect person to choose," Lily said confidently. "Everyone would expect it to be Moony or Padfoot."

I recognized the names from Harry's map, but I wasn't sure who was supposed to be whom. I wondered if I should tell Harry that he had his father's map in his possession. It would be hard to explain how I knew that. I would have to keep it to myself. My attention was drawn to the kitchen when I heard the familiar sound of a person popping into existence.

"Someone found the house?" said the voice of Albus Dumbledore, and he paced his way around the kitchen just like James.

"Yes, she came right up to the door and told us the house was going to blow up tonight," James answered quickly.

"It could be a trap," Dumbledore hedged. "But the security has been breached. I think we will still have to move you. I can arrange to have a guard come move you within the night."

"Where will we go?" Lily asked looking up from baby Harry who was splashing his hands around in the peas on his tray.

"We will move you to the safe house in Hogsmeade," Dumbledore said quickly. "They wouldn't expect us to put you somewhere so obvious. I will be the secret keeper myself. I'm afraid we are going to have to cut Peter out of the loop. He has to be the one responsible for someone being able to find your house."

"Okay," Lily agreed sadly. "I will go pack some things for Harry. How long do you think we will be there."

"Indefinitely," Dumbledore said with a frown. "I must go wrangle up the guard."

As soon as he apparated out of the kitchen I took a seat on the ground outside the window. I just had to wait until the guard moved them to a safer location, and then I could return home, hopefully to find a very happy Harry who had two parents at home and a Professor Snape who wasn't quite so devastated. Saving her wouldn't make Lily love him back, but at least she would still be alive right?

It didn't take very long for the cavalry to arrive. Within a few hours Professor Lupin, Sirius Black, some man with a crazy glass eye, and Dumbledore appeared in the yard. The sun was mostly down as they hustled the Potter family out into the yard. Lily was holding baby Harry close to her chest and James was hovering around them like he was waiting for an attack. Lupin produced beat up old boot and I realized they were traveling by portkey. I wondered why they didn't just apparate, but then I remember that babies have soft spots in their skulls, which would likely be adversely affected by the pressure of apparition.

Lily leaned into James who wrapped one arm around her pulling her into his chest. He was reaching out for the boot when the air filled with the sound of multiple pops. Three Death Eaters appeared who I had no hope of recognizing with their masks on, but the fourth person I would recognize anywhere. The Death Eaters attacked the others while Voldemort when right for the Potters.

I move to lay entirely on the ground, praying I wouldn't get it by a wayward curse as I hid in the bushes. Lupin fell quickly having had his back turned on the attack when it started. When he crumpled Sirius threw himself in front of Lily and James, trying to moved them back toward the house while shooting curses at the Death Eaters.

He managed to stun on of them before he went down as well. Dumbledore took down the other two, but he wasn't quick enough to stop the killing curse that landed square on the chest of the man with the glass eye. Dumbledore attempted to engage Voldemort in combat, but he was focused on the Potters alone. He blocked a curse from Dumbledore and landed a killing blow on the back of James Potter.

Lily cried out turning her back on her attacker to put herself between the man and her child. She fumbled to get her wand out while holding him while Dumbledore launched another attack on Voldemort. They engaged in a battle of epic proportions. Each curse was deflected causing immense damage on the area around them. The house was burning, the yard looked like a massive earth quake had taken place, there was no fence or tree left in the yard. It didn't look like either of them were going to win, and then suddenly Dumbledore froze. For a fraction of a second I thought he was just waiting for the right moment to attack, but then his body collapsed and I realized what had happened.

I had to bite my lips against the tears. That was the last defense. Lily would not succeed one handed while trying to protect a baby. I had to listen on while she begged for the life of her child, desperate to save him. And I had to watch while that evil man killed her and her body fell to the ground on top of her screaming baby. I worried if Harry was injured, but I knew much worse pain was coming for him.

On instinct I stood from the bushes, unable to silent watch him kill a baby in front of me. I was going to kill him myself, but I never got the chance. In the time it took for me to climb to my feet Voldemort advanced on Harry and threw the final killing curse. The air filled with light, and I could hear the horrible screams of pain for a fraction of a second, but then I was blown back by the force of the spell and my head smashed into the collapsing wall of the house and all I could hear was a ringing in my ears. I crawled along the ground away from the house, trying not to hear the horrible cries of the baby behind me. I had to get back to the present and try again.

I lay sprawled in the grass and pulled the time turner out of my robes. I held my wand against the time turner and I gasped out the return spell. I held tightly to my wand with one hand and reached up with the other to clutch my head. Even if time weren't whirring by I was sure that my world would be blurred, my head was killing me.

When I felt the grass between me turn into the cold stone floor of the dungeon I knew it was over, and I opened my eyes just in time to see myself disappearing from the room. I hoisted myself up off the floor and drug myself out into the hall so I could take a second try at everything I had just done. I propped my aching body against the wall and I gave the time turner one turn. I kept my eyes open through the swirling of changing time so that I wouldn't miss the moment when I came out of the potions class room. I would have to stop myself from going into the classroom to tell my other self to stop. I would need to be the one who went into the class room.

I only had to wait a second, that much like apparition I appeared beside myself. The other me gasped and did a double take looking at me leaning against the wall.

"Your plan doesn't work either," I said tiredly rolling my head to the side to look at myself. "So you just go on your way, and I will be the one to go in and talk to them."

"I'll take your word for it I guess," the other me said quietly. "You look like hell."

"You have no idea," I said waving her away tiredly.

She walked off, hopefully not to the library where I would be sending the other me to wait out the hour until our futures melded and they both disappeared. I just had to make it an hour and then this horrible pain would be over. I drug myself through the potions classroom door and immediately drew the attention of the other me and Professor Snape.

"Don't go back," I said tiredly. "As you can see by how I look it doesn't turn out well."

"You look like hell," the other me said.

"Wow I didn't realize how unoriginal I am," I grumbled. "Yes it turns out badly. Professor Snape looks worse than I do, but I am going to fix that. The two of you can't go though."

"You intend to go back on your own?" Professor Snape questioned with a raised brow. "How exactly are you going to do that?"

"I already have the spell, you gave it to me last time," I sighed. "This isn't even my second go round. But this one has to be the magic time. I just to make sure neither of you show up in the past while I am trying to take care of this."

They seemed like they wanted to argue, but they both remained silent. Obviously this was a strange situation for all of us. We stood at a stalemate, but eventually my other self did speak.

"Well I think I should go to the library and get some of our work done before I fade away." She said as she started moving toward the door. "I don't imagine there's a lot of time left until we hit our present time."

"No there isn't" I said with a relieved sigh.

As soon as this hour ended the pain would blissfully end. Thank Merlin. As soon as the other me was clear of the room I limped my way over to the closest table and took a seat. I lay forward and let my head rest on the table while I waited.

"They still die?" he asked from across the room.

"Yes," I sighed. "Changing the secret keeper ends with them dead as well as Sirius Black. Attempting to Change their location ends with them dead as well as Sirius Black, Professor Lupin, a man with a glass eye, Professor Dumbledore, and three Death Eaters."

"What do you plan to change this time?" he asked. "And why can't I go with you?"

"You can't go because you will might actually succeed in getting us killed this time," I grumbled. "And my plan this time is to intercept Dumbledore before he contacts the Potters. Get him to bring them to Hogwarts instead."

"That could work if you can get him to listen to you," Professor Snape acknowledged from his desk. "How do you intend to get him to listen to you?"

I didn't get a chance to answer him. I looked up to say I was just going to wing it when I saw him start to fade around the edges. In a matter of seconds he had disappeared completely and I was left sitting in an empty classroom. I breathed a sigh of relief as the last of the pain receded from my body and climbed to my feet.

I decided to make my way to where I knew Dumbledore would be before I went back in time. That way I wouldn't be rushing to intercept the man before he made it to his office. I took all of the side corridors and secret passage ways I remember Snape taking me down and I came out not far from the stone gargoyles. I looked both ways down the corridor and made sure that I was alone before I took out my time turner once more.

"Accelerantempo," I said as I focused on the night seven days before Halloween twelve years ago.

The world began to spin around me, and this this time I just closed my eyes. I didn't want to see all of the different people flashing by and I really didn't feel like getting dizzy right about now so I just waited. There was a lack of sound as things shifted around me, so I knew when I was back in the past because I could hear footsteps moving toward me down the hall. I opened my eyes and saw that Professor Dumbledore had already spotted me and was making a beeline toward me with his wand drawn.

"Professor Dumbledore," I said turning to face him with my hands up in a sign that I had no intention of attacking him. "I just need you to listen to me right now."

"Who may I ask are you?" he said in a stiff voice which belayed the fact that he did not trust me.

"I'm Hermione Granger," I told him quickly, deciding to go with the complete truth and hope for the best. "In this time I am only a year old, but I have come back to try and change what is about to happen."

"You have my attention," he said folding his arms over his chest.

"I've already tried several times, and nothing seems to be working," I continued on. "If you make Pettigrew the secret keeper the Potters will die, and if you make someone else the secret keeper Sirius Black dies as well, if you wait until Halloween to try and move the Potters out of Godric's Hollow they will die, so will you, Sirius Black, Professor Lupin, a man with a glass eye, and three Death Eaters. I think you need to start with them somewhere else instead."

I paused gauging his face to make sure he didn't think I was completely insane. He seemed to be following me, so I took that as a sign that it was okay to continue.

"I think you should bring them to Hogwarts," I told him quickly. "Everyone always says that the one person that he fears is you, and the one place that is sacred to him is Hogwarts. This seems like the safest place for the Potters."

"Perhaps you are right," he said quietly. "I will require that you now stay at my side at all times so I can be sure you aren't running off to feed this information to the other side. You understand of course?"

"Yes I understand. I will do whatever you want me to do," I agreed quickly. "Just please try it this way for me."

-`-'-

I was like a Dumbledore's shadow for a week. I went with him when he went to speak with the Potters. I stood by his side while he oversaw them packing things to come to the castle. I remained with him after he had settled them into a guest room up by Gryffindor toward and returned to his own chambers. I did my best not to be offended when he bound me magically so he could sleep, and did my best to sleep as well. By the third night he stopped binding me, seeming to have decided I wasn't going to run off to tell Voldemort where the Potters were. I was glad to be free, but I wondered if he was too trusting. What if I were a bad guy?

I stayed with him while he prowled the grounds each night with the staff trying to keep everyone safe. And I was with him on Halloween when the sun began to set, and dark hooded figures started to storm the grounds. I saw his accusatory glance at me as he sounded the alarm and ran off to rally the troops. I stood frozen on the grounds staring at the sheer number of them. Moving the Potters to Hogwarts had been my worst choice by far. It had incited an entire battle. Far more than the Potters would die tonight and it was my fault. I turned my back and ran blindly away from the descending troops.

I just barely made it to the castle before they started hurling hexes. I was safe for the moment, but there was little hope of surviving such a battle. There was no hope. It dawned on me as I crouched by the hourglasses in the entrance hall that the Potter's dying might be a fixed point in time. I might not be able to stop it. At least this close to the event. Something else had to change first, something that would keep us from being locked into an ending that I couldn't seem to change. I pulled the time turner out once more, unwilling to stay and watch the slaughter that was about to happen.

"Diritornu," I said quickly as I tapped my wand against the time turner.

The sounds of battle beginning were wiped away as I moved forward through time, and soon I found myself crouching in the potions classroom instead. I stood up and gathered my mental strength to go back one time. I only had to go back one hour and then I would be done, at least for today.

I stepped into the hallway, and I turned the time turner once. The hour flew by and I found myself standing in the hallway beside the me that was most likely suffering from a concussion. She sighed when she saw me, and I knew I didn't need to tell her that her plan didn't work either. She just sat down on the ground.

"Well I'm spending the hour right here, because there is no way I am walking anywhere," she sighed just as the other me appeared in our midst.

"Oh," she gasped when she saw two of us. "Well this is just… wow."

"Yeah, the plans don't work," I grumbled. "Just go find somewhere to be until you fade out, I will take care of the rest."

She nodded and just walked away from me.

"Don't go to the library," I called after her.

I turned and walked resolutely into the potions classroom for the last time tonight. The other me and Snape turned to look at me, both of the brows shooting up. I walked in and took a seat on the table nearest to the door.

"This is like the millionth time I am saying this, but the plan doesn't work," I sighed. "You guys can't go back, no one can go back. Every time I change it more people end up dead. The last attempt ended in an all out battle on the grounds of Hogwarts. I'm calling the game. We have to figure something else out."

"Battle at Hogwarts?" the other me questioned. "That's insane."

"You have no idea just how insane things have gotten," I chuckled darkly. "Why don't you head off to the library until the hour is up?"

I waited patiently while she left the room. She left swiftly, and I heard the sharp intake of breath that told me she had passed the injured other that was still lurking outside the door waiting for the hour to end. When the door fell closed I turned back to look at the Professor Snape who was sitting in his desk.

"So in an hour you will fade, leaving the other Snape who I am fairly sure is still in his chambers right now as the only one of him, and I will be the only one of me." I explained while he sat patiently with his hands folded in front of him. "The time lines will have wrapped up leaving just the one, which is essentially unaltered other than our combined knowledge of what could have been."

He nodded, seeming unwilling to talk just now.

"When you fade, I need to speak with the other," I said quietly. "And I know it's inappropriate but I need for to tell me how to get into your chambers so that I can do that. He isn't going to be in any condition to come out and meet me, and sending you in to get him will probably only freak him out at this point."

"You understand that you are asking me to cross a line of propriety in the relationship between Professor and student?" he asked quietly.

"I do, understand that I mean," I sighed. "But honestly I think we already crossed that line. And its not like I'm going in there to try and seduce you or something. It's purely business."

"If I share the way to gain access to my chamber with you, that is not something you need to be spreading around to your friends," he said somewhat tersely.

"I believe I have already signed a contract stating I will not divulge your secrets," I snapped at him, offended by the insinuation.

"Very well," he said quietly standing and walking over to the empty stretch of wall behind his desk. "This is the door. As soon as I cast this spell all you will have to do is press your hand against the wall while thinking about gaining entrance."

I nodded, and watched while he moved his wand around the wall. It glowed faintly green while he worked. It shimmered for a second, and then it returned to looking like and empty stretch of wall. He looked back at me with curt nodded and then he faded out of existence leaving me standing alone in the potions classroom. I took a deep calming breath, and then I prepared myself to face a Snape that was going to be much less helpful, and most likely furious with me.

I walked quickly across the classroom and lay my hand against the wall. It disappeared leaving an opening into a sitting room and I stepped through, wondering vaguely if anyone else would have been able to see that if they had been in the room, or if I had appeared to walk through a solid wall as well. I moved quickly past the chair and fire place, ignoring the book shelf no matter how much I might want to investigate it, and made my way to the only closed door which I was sure led to his bedroom.

My breath caught in my chest when I saw him slumped across the bed with his face buried in the blankets his entire frame shaking with his sobs. They were awful to hear. He sounded like a dying man, and it was even more disturbing to see a man who so rarely showed any emotion to be so very raw before me.

"Professor Snape," I said quietly moving so I stood at the foot of the bed.

He rolled so his back was to me, and wrapped the blanket more tightly around his face to muffle the sound. He would not answer me. I took a risk and sat down on the edge of the bed. I reached out tentatively as if I might be bitten to gently lay my hand on his back.

"Severus," I said quietly, jumping when his back flinched under my hand.

"I am certain I told you to GET OUT!" he barked hoarsely.

"Yell all you want," I said sounding more firm than I felt. "I am not leaving you right now."

He was quiet for a moment. Well somewhat quiet as he tried to reign in the sobs that were still wracking him occasionally. I could tell that he was trying to get himself under control, and I felt so badly for him.

"I need to talk to you about where we go from here," I said quietly. "That might be easier if you were looking at me."

"Who do you think you are giving me orders little girl," he snapped, and I flinched, but at least he sounded more like himself.

"I'm trying to help you, not order you around," I pushed on quietly. "I've gone back a few more times since our last failure, as I imagine you know as your other past self should have melded with you by now."

"Yes, I know," he said, finally turning to look at me.

I did my best not to react to how splotchy and swollen his face looked. I was torn between wanting to look away out of embarrassment, and wanting to reach out and pull him into a hug. Neither of those choices was acceptable, so instead I clasped my hands together in my lap and took a deep breath.

"I do think that moment in time is somewhat fixed," I explained. "But I think if I went back further and changed something else, we might be able to prevent it."

"You still don't trust me to go back with you." He said. It wasn't a question.

"No, I don't think it's safe." I said quietly. "It's hardly safe for just me to go back, but I am committed to trying to help you fix this."

"I don't understand you Gryffindor women," he said running his hand over his face with a sigh.

"Sometimes I don't understand myself either," I said honestly. "But I'm here, and I'm trying. So for tonight we are done. But I need you to think about what lead you to that point in your life, to be put in the position you were in when you told Dumbledore that the Potters weren't safe. Think about what I might be able to change, and let me know soon. For now I think we could both use some rest."

I didn't wait for a response; I knew he had heard me. I just stood up and walked slowly out of the room. I walked on dead tired legs out of his chambers and slowly back toward Gryffindor tower. I had so much homework, some of it due tomorrow, but all I could think about right was just climbing into bed. And possibly having a good cry of my own. I had seen more death and destruction in the last indescribably chunk of time than I had in my entire up to this point. To anyone else this had just been an hour out of the day, but I had just spent a total of fifteen days trying to prevent a murder and only making it worse. It had been a bad 'hour.'

* * *

 **Ch4:Song for this chapter: Wayward Son by Kansas**

 **HPOV**

I returned to my regular routine while I waited for Professor Snape to get back to me on how we should proceed. My regular routine was not restful by any means, but it was much less stressful than the life or death, and really mostly death decisions I had been making in relation to the Potters.

Harry and Ron were still completely oblivious to what was going on with me. I loved them dearly, but sometimes I wondered just how dense they were. How did the not notice that I kept disappearing all the time? I supposed it was all for the better. I got to all of my classes on time, without having to worry about them figuring out what I was doing. I was basically living two days in every one day to keep up with my course load, and it was exhausting to say the least, but it was worth it. I couldn't give up the one class for the benefit of another. I needed them all; at least until I had a better idea of what exactly I wanted to do with my future. I could probably stand to give up divination, but I was staying in the class on principle.

I wouldn't allow that crazy bat to run me out of her class, just like I wouldn't allow Professor Snape to let me feel inferior in his classes no matter how many correct answers I gave in his classes. He seemed even crankier with me as of late, but I tried to brush it off. I tried to be patient, let him go at his own pace with this whole thing, but quite frankly I was frustrated. Maybe it was the contract I had signed with him, or maybe it was just my own obsession with any problem that stumped me, but I couldn't just turn away from this now that I had put the effort into it.

When he had gone an entire week without talking to me I was preparing to have a right fit at him. I was tossing ideas around in my head about what exactly I would say while brewing my potion. But at the end of the lesson he cut my head of steam off right at the head. At the end of the lesson he asked me to stay behind, and stood with his arms crossed over his chest waiting while the rest of the class filed out. I waved Harry and Ron on and then made my way up to the front of the classroom.

"Have you decided on a time frame?" I asked him pointedly.

"I have," he said firmly. "But I think there is something I need to teach you before I send you back. For your own convenience as well as protection."

"What would that be?" I asked quirking my brow in curiosity about what I would need protection from.

"Apparition," he said curtly. "Obviously no one can be told, as it is completely illegal for a third year to use such magic, but I think it's necessary."

"I'm all for learning how," I said quietly. "But why will it be necessary?"

"Because I'm sending you back to deal with me," he sighed rubbing his hand over his eyes tiredly. "And at the point in time that you will return to, you may need to be able to flee from me quickly. I was not a very nice person at that point in my life."

I refrained from pointing out that he wasn't exactly a ray of sunshine right now either.

"When do you want to start teaching me?" I asked him instead.

"Tonight." He directed. "We can meet here after dinner, and then we will walk down to the forest so that we can actually practice."

I nodded, not seeing the need to say anything out loud.

"If you aren't a complete ignoramus, I should be able to teach you the skill by the end of the week," he sighed. "Then we can discuss the time frame."

I nodded once more, biting my lip to refrain from calling him a wanker, even though that was exactly what he was being. I simply turned on my heel and stomped out of the room. I checked my watch on the way out and saw that I was going to be very late for Defense Against the Dark Arts if I didn't get a move on. I sprinted through the halls trying to get there before Professor Lupin closed the doors.

-`-'-

Trying to learn apparition was daunting, but not completely impossible. The most worrisome part was the possibility that I might leave a body part behind if I lost focus. That thought alone made it a bit difficult to focus.

The first night, I didn't really accomplish anything. We worked for hours, and all I really did was wobble on the spot occasionally. Professor Snape seemed supremely frustrated when we decided to call it a night, and I wondered why he ever became a teacher as I trudged back up to the school. I would have liked to crawl into bed, but instead I had to set back time and spend an entire evening trying to get caught up on all of my homework.

The second night wasn't much better, but on the third night I managed to apparate across a three foot space. Professor Snape even gave the tiniest flicker of a smile, before he barked at me to do it again. He put me through my paces for another hour until I could do it consistently and then we called it a night.

By the end of the week I was seriously dragging, but we both felt confident that I could apparate at will. He checked that I knew how to cast a disillusionment charm, as well as a disarming spell, and a few other defensive spells. When he seemed sure that I could at least beat a hasty retreat from him, he finally told me when he wanted me to go back to.

"I need you to keep me from hearing a prophecy," he said quietly as we sat in his classroom discussing the plan. "I can't send you to the night that I heard it, because anyone trying to intercept me on that night would end up gravely injured or dead."

He let his words hang in the air, but I said nothing in response. I had assumed there would be danger, why else would I need to be able to escape him?

"I want to send you to a week before I hear it," he explained. "At that point I was still a loyal Death Eater, but a week before I heard the prophecy I saw Lily and James at the park with their son, and I had a moment of weakness. There was a moment where I didn't want to be a Death Eater anymore, and I need you to catch me at that moment, and try to convince me to stick with that train of thought. Try to convince me to join the Order without even hearing the prophecy."

"Okay," I nodded, trying to act like the plan seemed easy. "Ok, I try to succeed in turning you even though Lily Potter couldn't. Got it."

And this time my words hung in the air. Neither of us said anything for a long time.

"Do not hesitate to run from me if it isn't going well Miss Granger," he said quietly. "If you insist on going back alone at least try to stay alive."

I nodded, pulling the time turner out of my robes, and waiting for his instruction.

"We shouldn't send you back from here," he said quickly standing and making his way to the door, clearly expecting me to follow. "I'm sending you back during the day, so there will likely be a class in here."

We walked in silence up to the entrance hall, out of the castle, across the grounds, and out the gate of the school. He stopped when we were clear of the bounds that kept anyone from aparating and her turned back to face me.

"It will happen in Candy Cane park in Godric's Hollow," he told me. "It was mid-day, two weeks before Halloween twelve years ago. I'll be lurking in the trees."

I could practically hear him finish the sentence with 'like a common criminal.' I felt something well up inside of me, telling me to correct him even though he had not said it out loud. I wondered I had developed a soft spot for him. Or if perhaps I might have bound myself more tightly than I thought with the vague sentence I had written not so long ago. I had not written anything that specified what I was going to be helping him with had I?

That lead me to wonder if Professor Snape was being so cooperative with my planning because of how he was bound to me. He had sworn to keep his promises to me, and by agreeing to stay behind when I demanded it of it, in a way he had made a promise to me. I sighed when I realized that there didn't seem to be any relationship here at all, it was simply a magical contract. Nothing more, nothing less.

"You should probably get going," he urged, and I realized I had been standing there silently for too long. "Don't hesitate to come back if I attempt to assault you are something equally as barbaric."

"One last question before I go," I said quickly. "Where did you hear the prophecy? You know, so I can check my work?"

"The Hogs Head," he answered with trepidation in his voice. "That isn't the best night to run into me."

"If I have done my job correctly, you won't be there," I hedged.

I shook my head, and held the time turner tightly in my hand while I thought about the date in time I was headed too. I tapped my wand against the time turner as I whispered the spell that would send me back. I closed my eyes and let time sweep around me. No matter how many times I went back, I don't think I would ever get used to the way the world blurred. The more I did it, I came to discover that I could fell the time moving. It was almost like water moving over my skin, so I always knew it was time to open my eyes, because the water feeling would stop.

The water feeling stopped and I opened my eyes to see the same gates of Hogwarts, but slightly less aged. I focused my mind immediately on where I intended to go. I pulled the magic from my limbs and utilized it to snap my body from its current location, to Candy Cane park, which frankly had a ridiculous name. Granted it was a name I understood better when the intense pressure ended and I found myself facing a red a white striped merry-go-round and slide. Luckily the rest of the park equipment did not have the same color scheme, or I might have vomited.

I looked around, and I saw James, Lily, and baby Harry making their way into the park, so I moved away from the playground and into the trees. It wouldn't do to have them see me, and I had someone else to find. For all the credit he deserved for all of his work as a spy, Severus Snape absolutely failed to be sneaky hiding amongst the trees in this park.

His black robes and scowling face were absolutely out of place in a bright sunny park where there was a laughing baby and happy parents. He looked like his world was ending, his face contorted painfully as he watched them. To his credit he did not cry, but I thought he might feel better if he just let it happen. He seemed so upset that the idea of approaching him right now actually scared me, but I know what I needed to change so there was no time for fear. I opted to try for a subtle approach for now, hoping that would keep him from attacking me.

I cast a disillusionment over myself, and moved as silently as I could to stand behind him. I waited until his shoulders hunched just a little further. Until I was fairly sure he was thinking about how he should give it all up, until a gentle prodding from someone else might just help.

"If you were to give it all up, leave his service," I whispered to him. "You could have happiness like that."

"Who's there?" he growled his head snapping around to see the forest, but finding no person near him.

I held my breath, terrified of the feral look in his eyes, as he moved his arms through the air trying to feel where someone might be standing. He got dangerously close to reaching me, but I was afraid of rustling the leaves by moving and giving away my position.

"Do you see how suspicious this work has made you?" I asked in the same whisper, trying to put him off his search. "You think your own conscience is an attacker."

"This is insane," he grunted, turning back to look at the Potter family.

"Working for the dark lord is insane," I whispered. "If you weren't working for him you would probably be in the park with that family right now. They would be your friends."

"No they wouldn't," he growled angrily. "Lily Potter gave up on me a long time before I became a death eater. And it is not like they would welcome me with open arms after something like that."

"They might, if you gave them the chance," I suggested. "If you went to join the order, you could rebuild your relationship with them."

"Enough!" he shouted, and then her turned on the spot and he disappeared.

I wanted to scream in frustration. Clearly what I should have been taught how to do was to track someone, because now I had no idea where he was. I sighed in frustration and then pulled out the time turner and went back by two hours. I hoped by going a little further back I might get more time to try and sway him.

So I was standing in the trees, still concealed by a disillusionment when I saw Severus Snape enter the park. He was somewhere between wandering and pacing, out in the open. He looked lost, and so sad. Acting on impulse I removed the charm that hid me and started moving toward him. I stepped out into the open, but when I stepped on a twig and snapped under my foot he acted quickly. He swept around, caught sight of me, and then he shot a hexed at me, which I had to dive to the ground to avoid. It broke a limb off of the tree behind me.

"Impedimenta!" I shouted, brandishing my wand in his direction.

The jinx hit, and stopped him from disapparating, which I was sure he was about to do. He would come out of the hex quickly, so I had to work fast. I pulled myself up off the ground, and cast the disarming charm as I moved towards him. I caught his wand on the fly, and for a second saw shock and maybe even fear flash on his face before he schooled his features, and focused entirely on trying pull himself out of my jinx.

"Incarcerous," I said with a whip of the my wand as I closed the space between us.

Ropes sprung from my wand and wrapped themselves around him. For a moment I was in awe of how somehow, impossibly, I had over powered Severus Snape. But then I realized that I had been incredibly lucky. I had quickly given away my position, and by pure luck his curse had missed me giving me a small window that I had capitalized on. I would not want to try something like that again.

It wouldn't be too long before the Potters would arrive in the park, so I couldn't very well have a Death Eater tied up right in the middle of the park. I grabbed onto his ropes and pulled, trying to get him back into the trees. He was fully out of the jinx now, and he was resisting. And he was bigger than me, so he had a good shot at winning. It left me with only one option.

I stopped pulling, and while he was still leaning himself back to pull away from me, I pushed. He toppled over without free arms to balance him. He slammed into the ground, and with a woofing sound all of the air was forced out of his chest. In his moment of weakness I drug him across the ground. I huffed and puffed dragging his body that was much heavier than mine out of the open. He fought me as best he could every step of the way, and I had to admire his dedication. If I were trying to kill him, I would have a hard time doing it. Luckily for both of us, that wasn't my intention.

"Please stop fighting me," I panted as I pulled him far enough into the trees I felt safe that the Potters wouldn't notice us when they arrived.

His answer was a wordless, furious growl of anger.

"I just need to talk to you," I sighed, sinking onto the ground beside him with a sigh. "Preferably without being murdered."

"Who are you? What do you want?" he shouted, his eyes flashing with anger as he struggled against his ropes.

"I want to try and convince you to stop being a Death Eater," I sighed letting my face fall into my hands. "Only I have no idea how to do that. I don't know any way to motivate you to turn your back on the life you've chosen."

"What?" he snapped irritably, struggling more fiercely against the ropes.

"You are going to make a mistake soon, and I want to prevent it," told him quietly. "You came here today to see Lily Potter didn't you? Couldn't you choose to live a life where you could see her every day? Would that kill you?"

"You don't know anything about me," he shouted. "Do not speak to me as if you do."

"Maybe I don't know you," I hedged, not wanting to escalate his anger. "But I am trying to help you. If you choose to turn your back on this path, you can help yourself."

"You are a child, you don't know anything," he growled. "The idea that I have been over powered by a child is mortifying."

He fell silent, and I remained silent. What was I supposed to say to that? I was young. Granter, I was already gaining age rapidly on my peers, essentially living two days to their everyone, not even including the large chunks of time I was spending in the past, but I was still a child. No matter my age, I had a job to do, it was just a matter of figuring out how to do it.

"My age doesn't matter. I'm here to help you," I said quietly. "Clearly you love Lily Potter, you came here to spy on her, so think about that. Just think about what that means, and what it could mean about your future if you make the right choice."

He looked like he was going to pop off with another angry retort, but he heard the same thing that I did. The female laughter dancing across the air in the park towards us. I snapped my head around and saw that the Potters were coming into the park, and Lily was laughing. It was exactly the kind of thing this man needed to see. I gripped the ropes around his chest, and pulled him into a seated position. I had to position myself behind him so he didn't fall right back on the ground, but I did it so he could what he came to see.

I watched from behind him as the little family played in the park. Baby Harry was just starting to get the hang of walking, teetering between his parents, trying to run, but mostly falling if he went to fast. All of them giggled and played and had a great time. It was beautiful in a way, but I could feel the tiniest quaking from the man that was propped against me, and I did not think it was laughter. I leaned ever so slightly forward so I could peak.

I expected to see him crying, but his face was dry. His body acted as if it was crying, with his bod shaking, and his breathing labored, but his face was completely dry. I wondered if he was even capable of crying at this point in his life. Clearly the man could cry, I had seen it with my own eyes, but right now I didn't think he could do it if he wanted to. Even if he needed too.

"You could have something like that if you chose too," I whispered softly from behind him. "You just have to choose to turn away from the path you are on right now."

"I don't have much choice in the matter do I?" he growled. "I am now a prisoner of war, am I not? Why not end the torture and take me back to your master?"

"You are not a prisoner," I said, surprised that he assumed I was some member of the order, possibly in disguise. "The ropes were for my protection. I will release you if you promise not to attack me."

"Knowing I am Death Eater, what good would a promise from me be to you," he said snidely.

"Maybe nothing," I sighed. "But I want to believe that you have enough honor that if you make a promise to me, you will keep it."

"I promise not to attack you if you unbind me," he said stiffly after a pause.

It was a risk, but I had to have faith. What else was there that I could do right now? I had to let him go, and hope I had succeeded somehow. So I made the ropes disappear, and I held my breath hoping that he wouldn't murder me on the spot.

He sprung away from me, climbing to his feet, and turning to face me. His face was livid, but he extended hi hand calmly toward me. I stared at his hand for a moment, and then I remembered that I still had his wand. I offered it to him, trying not to flinch as he reached out to take it. He snatched it from my hand, but then he did not attack me. He disapparated away, and the crack that filled the air had the heads of James and Lily snapping over to look in my direction.

I fumbled to get the time turner out of my robes quickly and tapped my wand against it as I said the return spell. I was going right back to where I left so hopefully Snape would still be there. I stayed slumped on the ground as the time marched on rapidly around me. I blinked and the park was gone, I was once again at the gates of Hogwarts.

"I'd say that was quick, but haven't any idea how long you've been gone," he said stiffly from behind me.

"Only a few hours," I sighed standing up, and turning to face him. "I came back because there is something important I need to learn in order to succeed here."

"What is that?" he drawled.

"How to track you," I snapped, losing my patience with his mood, after dealing with, well his mood actually. "When you apparate, how am I supposed to find you?"

"Reperio is the incantation," he told me his voice torn between annoyance and understanding. "You have to say my name after it to link our wands. Then they cannot touch each other or it will end the spell."

"How will it work?" I asked, pulling my own wand back out of my pocket. "How will it tell me where you are?"

"It will work like a compass, pointing you in my direction," he sighed. "I should have thought to teach you that before I sent you back."

"Reperio Severus," I said, opting not to address the oversight.

I felt an itching in my hand as the wands connected magically, and for a second they both glowed white before returning to normal.

"You may have to cast the spell again in the past," he said quietly. "I don't know if it will hold up to time travel."

I nodded.

"And this time, either stun or freeze me before I have the opportunity to attack you," he instructed. "Don't leave it up to chance that I don't kill you."

"You remember?" I asked.

"Of course I remember the day a tiny witch over powered me in the park and told me to join the order," he said with a dark chuckle. "It didn't work, most likely because you only got the one shot, I still have the memory of hearing the prophecy and telling the Dark Lord about it."

I nodded gravely. I would have to try harder. I took the time turner out, and I did it all again. In the blink of an eye I was standing outside the gates of Hogwarts alone again. I focused all of my energy and turned on the spot so that the gates would be gone.

I stood in the trees of candy cane park and I held my wand in the palm of my hand, testing if the spel had held up. It sat there for a moment unmoving, and I thought the spell had failed, but then there was a cracking sound that filled the air, as my wand swung around to point to the left. I followed where it was pointing and saw that Snape had appeared in the park. So obviously the spell was still working. I moved swiftly, not even stepping out of the trees as I pointed my wand at the very unhappy looking man.

"Petrificus Totalus," I said quietly, hoping he wouldn't heard the spell and get a chance to react.

He saw the spell coming a second before it hit, and threw up a shield. I was in trouble, his reflexes were faster than mine, and he was on the hunt for me now. He ducked down, wand drawn and began to search for me.

I hid behind the tree, and shot another petrifying jinx his direction. I missed and caught a small bird attempting to fly out of the bush near him. It hit the ground with a thump, and I felt guilty. I'd probably broken its wing or something.

And clearly I had given away my location, because I had to dodge a stunner, or what I hoped was a stunner, that blasted the ground where I had been standing. I made a snap decision, and turned mid step disappearing from where I was running, and reappeared behind Snape, shooting one more petrifying jinx before he could turn around.

I hit my mark this time, and he went rigid like a board, somehow managing to hold his balance on his feet and remain upright. I ran to close the distance between us, casting the same spell form before and binding him in ropes. This time he could not yell at me or fight me off as I drug him into the trees. Unfortunately he was just as heavy. Once we were in the trees I released the body bind as I pushed him onto the ground, and then I slumped down beside him, my pulse thumping through my veins. I did not want to ever duel with this man again, but I got the feeling that I would be.

"Who are you? What do you want?" he shouted at me.

"I'm here to try and stop you from making a big mistake," I said, laying down tiredly on the ground and staring up at the sky while I waited for my breathing to regulate. "You need to stop being a Death Eater."

He scoffed at me, but said nothing.

"Join the order, make up with Lily, become friends again," I sighed. "Turn your life around, be happy."

"Who are you to say that I am not happy," he said in a dark and angry voice.

"If you weren't unhappy, you wouldn't be sneaking off to a park to spy on a woman who hates you," I growled at him, so frustrated with his spiteful language.

"You know nothing," he snapped.

"I know everything that you don't," I snapped back. "So I am here, trying to help you. Let me help you."

"Shut up," he yelled, getting somehow madder at me.

"No, you shut up," I snapped sitting back up and looking at his face. "You just shut up, and hear what I am saying. You need to change your life!"

And once again we were interrupted by laughter. Lily was coming in to the park, so without further ado I grabbed the ropes on his chest, pulled him into a sitting position, and propped him up by sitting behind him so he could watch the happy family once more.

"You could have that," I said quietly as he watched.

"You could be happy," I said when he never answered.

"Leave the Dark Lord," I prodded while he listened to her laughing. "Join the order, spend time with Lily, become a part of her life once more."

"Stop," he growled at me. "You've already taken me prisoner, just take me to your master and be done with it."

"Good Lord you will never change will you?" I snapped. "You are not my prisoner, the ropes are for my safety. I will release you after you promise not to attack me. And don't even bother asking what one of your promises would mean to me, just make it."

"I promise," he said with a dark laugh, and I thought perhaps this time he really didn't mean it.

I removed the ropes anyway, and realized that I had forgotten something this time. He still had his wand. He turned on me, pulling his wand arm up, and with the determined look in his eye I was certain he was about to hex me. I rolled to the side as I focused my mind, and I disappeared just as the spell started to shoot out of his wand.

I appeared on the other side of the park, and I could see him seething in the trees. He remained for a moment, searching for if I was still there, and then he disappeared as well. I opened my palm and my wand swiveled around to point right at me. I turned around expecting to find him behind me, but the park behind me was empty. I ran in the direction my wand was point for a few minutes, but I didn't see anything so I decided to take a new approach. I apparated in that direction a mile away and checked my wand. It angled slightly to the left, so I turned that way, and apparated another mile away. The wand didn't change direction this time, but there was still no Snape, so I kept going, following the minute changes of where my wand pointed until I found him.

It seemed to take ages, but it was probably only an hour later when I found him in a pub in some grungy town I didn't know the name off. No one in the pub seemed to be a wizard, so being a muggle pub I was even further from the legal age to enter. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, and then I cast a disillusionment charm on myself and slid into the bar after someone left. He was sitting at the bar, scowling, and nursing what I suspected was a scotch, looking for all the world like he was pretending that no one else existed.

I couldn't very well pull out a chair and take a seat next to him, so I stood off to the side where I could watch him, but not have any other customers run in to me. It was a long night, standing there waiting. He drank the night away, not like he was getting completely toasted, just slowly drinking and staring a hole into the bar. By the time he finally got up to leave my feet and legs were aching, but I followed him out of the bar.

Apparently we had gone back to his home town because he walked from the bar three blocks away to a sad looking house at the end of a sad looking street that had a dingy old sign reading Spinner's End. I kept as close to him as I possibly could without making a sound. The last thing I really needed was for him to attack me… again. When he opened the door I hung as closely to him as I could without alerting him to my presence. I barely made it into the room before he slammed the door shut.

I trailed behind him as he made his way from the door way into a room off to the side, peeling off his dark outer robes as he went. He hung them on a coat rack while I looked around what turned out to be his living room. He slouched over to an arm chair and slid into it, rubbing his hands over his eye. I took that as my opportunity to reveal myself. I took the disillusionment off, and stood with my wand held tightly inside my pocket, in case I needed to defend myself again.

"You had no righto enter my home," he snipped from his chair, but he did not draw his wand or make any aggressive movement in my direction. "This stalking routine has grown tiring."

"I'm not stalking you," I responded without thought.

"No?" he chuckled darkly. "What term would you use to define following me from Godric's Hollow to Oldham, spending an entire evening watching me at Duke's Tavern, and then following me into my home?"

"You knew I was there the entire time?" I gasped.

"I thought I had lost you for a while, but I smelled our perfume in the bar," he said calmly. "Then you were laughably loud following me through town and into my home."

"Why didn't you do anything?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest, though it felt more like I was hugging myself.

"You may be inept, but you are persistent," he sighed folding his arms over his chest as well. "So I want to know why this is so important to you. All of it. Now."

I hesitated, unsure of how honest I should be with him.

"Before you try to come up with some story to tell me, I should inform you that I am a master of legilimency," he said pointedly. "And I will use it now, so a choice to lie is a choice to learn why exactly I am such a valued servant of the Dark Lord."

I believed him. This was not the man who taught me back in my time, it was someone else entirely.

"I have traveled back from 1993 to try and prevent you from giving information to He Who Must Not Be Named that leads to the death of Lily and James Potter," I said in a rush.

"You are aware that it is 1981?" he asked staring up at the ceiling. "And that assuming you came back on exactly the same day as today from the time you are supposedly from you would have had to have turned a time turner approximately 105,120 times? Do you honestly think I would believe that or anything else you just said?"

"You are the person who comes up with a spell to turn the time turner into a type of portkey," I explained quietly. "It allows travel over extended periods of time with only one turn."

"And then what, you relive all of that time to get back to your own?" he snapped. "So when you get back to your time you will be 12 years older?"

"Your spell goes both ways," I offered quietly.

"I think I will require a demonstration before I am willing to believe anything you are saying," he said as he stood from his chair.

"Okay, tell me when you want me to take you too and I will," I said pulling the time turner out of my robes and waiting for him to join me.

"Take me back to May 3rd, 1970," he said as he stepped into my space.

I lifted the chain of the time turner up and over his head. I focused on the date he had given me, pushing questions of what that date meant to him out of my mind, and whispering Accelerantempo as quietly as I could, hoping he would not hear it and try to use it at some time on his own. I tapped my wand against the time turner before giving it a quick spin and then world began to spin around us.

This time I kept my eyes open, unsure of where he was taking us, I didn't want to be caught unaware. The world slowly came into focus and we found ourselves in the same living room, at night, but it wasn't empty. There was a black haired child in the room, but his back was to us. I grabbed my own black haired companion and dove into the hallway pulling him with me before we could be seen.

"Now do you believe me," I whispered at him. "We were very nearly just seen by you in there."

He did not speak, simply looking around at the house as if he had not seen it before.

"I'm taking us back now before we completely alter your past," I told him as I placed my wand against the time turner again.

I whispered the return spell just as quietly and gave a quick turn pulling us back through time before he could say or do anything that might greatly alter his time line. In just seconds we were back in the 1981 version of his home, and I gently pulled the timer turner chain off of him and stowed it back away in my robes. He was standing there, staring at the wall in front of him. I left him and walked back into the living room to take a seat and wait for him to regroup and join me.

It didn't take him long to follow, but he did not look remotely put together. He looked like he was either going to vomit or pass out, but he did neither. He just walked over to his chair and took a seat, rubbing his hand back and forth over his knee while he stared at the wall.

"So, if I don't do as you say, Lily will die?" he asked me in an unsteady voice, turning to look at me with haunted eyes.

"I guess yes, that is essentially what I am saying" I stuttered, surprised by how manipulative that felt.

"Well tell me what I have to do to keep that from happening," he pushed, his hand moving quicker over his knee, and I wondered if it was a nervous tick.

"I think it would be best if you left the Death Eaters altogether," I hedged not making eye contact with him. "But if you just don't do any tasks for h-him for the next two weeks that should probably do it."

"What is it that happens in the next two weeks that changes everything?" he pushed.

I hesitated again, but then I remembered his earlier threat and I decided to just be honest.

"In a week you hear a prophecy, you relay this to him," I explained. "This leads him to murder the Potter's a week after that. If you don't hear the prophecy, you can't tell him about it, and then he doesn't kill them."

Silence fell between us. I listened to the sound of his hand brushing over his slacks as his eyes tracked back and forth angled up at the ceiling.

"I think I can manage this if I can get myself reassigned for a week, maybe a week and a half at most," he said finally. "But any more than that would cause my loyalties to be questioned, which would be lethal."

"If you were to join the Order, you wouldn't have to worry about that." I pointed out.

"No then I would just have two sides questioning me, and people on both sides wanting me dead," he sighed seeming smaller as he sunk further into his chair. "That would be worse."

I didn't say anything. What could you say to that?

"I'll do it," he agreed quietly.

-`-'-

Life became surprisingly uneventful after that. He sent word with his owl that he was leaving the country to track down a potion maker who was supposed to be even more powerful than him. From what I understood this person was entirely made up, but he sold it convincingly enough that his absence seemed acceptable.

We didn't leave the house at all for the first six days. We sat in his living room, or paced about the house, or he slept in his room, or I slept on the couch. It was quiet, and tense, and in a way mournful even though no one had actually died yet.

On the seventh day, I told him to stay put, and I left. I apparated to the Hogs Head, and waited outside, once again hidden behind a disillusionment charm. I waited to see what would happen. After a while Professor Trewlany made her way into the pub, and I knew it would happen soon. Within a few minutes Professor Dumbledore entered as well. I was about to make my way in, and make sure everything went smoothly, when I was almost knocked over by a man in a dark robe with silver shoulder length hair bustling into the bar. He looked behind him as he pushed the door closed and I realized that it was Lucius Malfoy.

I wanted to scream! There was a different Death Eater trailing after Dumbledore, and he was going t hear the prophecy. I made my way into the bar, not stopping to worry about people seeing the door open on its own. My goal was to make a scene so Lucius would not get a chance to hear anything. I started smashing about in the pub, knocking over chairs and pushing glasses to the floor, anything to make cause an uproar.

There was a shuffling on the stairs and Malfoy came hurrying down. I could tell by his face that he had already heard it. There was a crack and he disappeared before anyone could react to his commotion or really even mine. I groaned to myself and disapparated myself.

"Damn it," I yelled as reappeared in the house on Spinner's end.

I stomped into the living room where I knew Snape would be waiting.

"Was you task," I said making air quotes around the word task. "to follow Dumbledore?"

"Yes," he said quietly, his brow raising.

"Well you were replaced by Lucius Malfoy," I screeched, incensed. "And he heard the prophecy. So all of this was for nothing!"

I might have thought I was being over dramatic, but that thought was wiped from my mind by how quickly it all unwound this time around. It seemed even without me tampering in his past Snape had been hesitant to give up any information about the Potters. Malfoy had no such qualms. The Potter's didn't even get a chance to go into hiding before they were caught. Malfoy seemed to know their schedule well enough, and he handed over that information willingly.

We heard about the murders in the paper just two days later, and I had to dive into a closet when Snape tried to hex me for lying to him. Never mind that I hadn't lied about anything. While I was hiding in the closet I used the time turner to return back to my present time. The Snape I knew was standing there just like before, and I knew from the pained expression in his eyes I didn't need to tell him it hadn't worked. Clearly his memories had changed to include what had just happed.

I just shook my head, and turned the time turner once so I could go back and stop myself from going back to do this. Talking to myself about not traveling through time was becoming old hat, which should have been disconcerting. Instead the hour that I got to spend sitting with myself and just not thinking while I waited for the timeline to right itself was the most relaxing hour I had experienced in a long time.

* * *

 **Ch5:Song for this chapter: Save Me by Unwritten Law**

 **SPOV**

When I was a child, I witness my mother giving up her magic for a man who she loved, whether it was a foolish love or not. One thing that came with that choice was a lot of reading. She read a lot of muggle literature. I remember once seeing her sitting in the living room, reading a book titled She's Come Undone. I remember staring at the blue cover, broken by a sad face, and thinking what a strange title that was. I remember thinking that it would be a weak person who would feel like that. But now I understood. Even after Lily had died, I didn't really understand it. But now I understood. I was come undone. The very fibers that wove my life together were fraying apart, and wrapping into different strands.

Hermione Granger was unraveling my life piece by piece, and as much as I didn't want to admit it, she was changing what kind of man I was. She was altering what memories I had, and erasing some entirely. She was fumbling around in my past, trying her absolute hardest to fix my future. The girl's dedication went beyond something I could understand, beyond something I even deserved. I should tear up the paper she signed, and relieve her of her obligation. But I couldn't, because as hard as it was to admit that I was undone, it was harder to admit that I needed this girl.

She had gone back, and though for me it had felt like she was gone for five minutes, she spent six months going over and over a two week period in my life. She went through it again and again trying to stop me from becoming a Death Eater. I got flashes of her different techniques as my memories changed. For a minute I was sure that I had always been a member of the order, that I had never become a Death Eater. But whatever she had done to cause that future, she undid it, because in the next minute I could remember being a Death Eater again. The major difference was that I could no longer remember a time when I enjoyed being a Death Eater.

Perhaps she was not having success at changing what came of my future, but she was instilling a strong conscience in me. She seemed unable to fully change my choices in life, but she was changing why I made them. One darkness was being replaced with another inside of me. The darkness that accompanied the desire to perform dark arts, was being replaced by the dark guilt that accompanied performing them when you did not want to. To anyone looking I would be the same person, but I was someone entirely different. I hardly knew myself anymore.

Granger frequently went back to erase what she did, when it was unsuccessful, as it almost always was, but she occasionally let things slip through. A part of me wanted to ask her if that was intentional, but I didn't. I couldn't process it being an accident. I would not be able to function if I thought of her as a bumbling student accidentally changing my very essence by making mistakes. I just couldn't. So I kept letting her go back, and deluded myself into thinking that she could find the event that changed it all. After our first try she had come back to me and told me that she thought the week leading up to Lily's death was a fixed point in time, but I was starting to believe that the actual event was fixed. I couldn't shake the nagging possibility that no matter what she changed it would never stop it. She would not stop Lily from being murdered, but how could I tell her that?

I thought perhaps when Christmas break came, she would go back to her family and we would take a small break. During that small break I would try to find a way to get us out of the situation we had gotten ourselves into the. The situation I had gotten us in to. But she did not go home for the break. For some reason that was unclear to me, she decided to stay for the break, and in the hours that I sat in my office trying to find the right words for a conversation she went back again.

She didn't tell me she was going, and I wouldn't have had any idea that she had, but it appeared that she was not erasing her work this time. As I sat with a glass of fire whiskey trying to find the right words, I instead fought off confusing emotions as brand new memories of my childhood flooded into my mind. I could suddenly a dear friend, who my mother had believed was imaginary. A friend who lived in a tent in my back yard, a tent that only I ever saw. This friend was there with me on the nights that my father raged at my mother, and on the nights where I hid so that he could not rage at me. She was the one that I told about meeting Lily Evans, and the same one that I shared my joy with when my letter from Hogwarts came and I learned that for nine months out of the year I would be allowed to escape the madness that was my life.

I felt a ripple in my chest, as the face that I had forever known as my know-it-all student morphed into the face of a friend who was there for me at the darkest time. Suddenly she really meant something to me, something other than an uneasy friend that was trying to help me. So I sat there with my fire whiskey, fighting the unfamiliar emotions as the passed through me, and I decided. I decided that it was time to get rid that contract. From what I could tell from my memories Hermione Granger was giving up years of her life to try to fix mine, and that was a responsibility that was not hers to bear. These were not choices she would make if she were not magically bound to me.

I was watching the last bits of that parchment curl in on itself and wither away in my fire place when she knocked on my office door. I turned to stare at the door, knowing it would be her, not knowing if I should let her.

"Professor Snape," she called from the other side. "May I come in please."

"Enter," I sighed crossing back over to my chair and taking a seat as she pushed the door open.

She looked tired as she walked slowly over to stand before me. It was in her eyes, a tired defeated look that came with age. That was the real difference, I realized, as I looked at her more closely. She was older. It was subtle enough that her peers wouldn't notice, her professors might not either, but I could see it.

"Have a seat," I said quietly motioning to the chair that faced mine.

I waited until she was seated, watching her slow tired movements. She seemed weighed down by something.

"How long did you stay?" I asked her quietly.

"So you know I went back then," she sighed.

"Obviously," I sighed. "You are very present in my childhood memories now."

"I can go back to erase that," she said quickly. "I was just tired. I'll do it later."

"Don't bother," I told her quietly "I would prefer to leave my childhood where it is at this point. What I wish to know was for how long you were there. The memories are fuzzy enough that I am not quite sure."

"I stayed for two years," she breathed quietly. "I thought I would be able to alter your path toward dark magic if I started young enough. But I checked my work on the way back, it didn't work."

"Two years," I gasped, too floored by her dedication to shield my emotions from her. "Why would you stay for so long? You are throwing your life away."

"I was just trying to help," she said quietly, looking down at her lap in embarrassment or shame, I wasn't quite sure.

"I understand that you were fulfilling an obligation to me," I said stiffly before tossing back the rest of my drink. "I am releasing you from our agreement. You are no longer required to… help me."

"Sir?" she said as her head snapped back up, and her eyes met mine imploringly.

"We have been working to stop an unstoppable event," I explained quietly. "I understand now. The murder of Lily Potter is a point in time that cannot be altered. It's time to stop trying."

She didn't respond, but I saw it in her face. She already knew that. When she had spoken to me about a fixed point in time, I had missed her meaning. She already knew that she could not change the death, she was trying to change something else. I stared at her, so tempted to delve into her mind and steal the answer to my question, but I didn't. I just watched her, searching his face for the answer.

"Maybe I can't stop her death," she said, finally speaking. "But I think I can change what it does to you. I think I understand part of the reason it tears you apart when it happens. I thought before it was guilt because of your work as a Death Eater. So I was trying to stop you from becoming a Death Eater, but that doesn't seem to work either. I think I was pushing in the wrong direction."

"What is it you think is the answer then," I asked her plainly, inexplicably open to this girl who was riffling through my entire life.

"I think the other reason you feel guilty," she said before hesitating, her breath seeming to catch in her chest. "I think the guilt you feel, is because you couldn't save her. You c-couldn't save her from her fate, like you couldn't save your mother."

"You don't know what you are talking about," I said, surprised by how strangled my voice sounded.

"I left before it happened, but when I went back to your seventh year to try and stop you from joining, she wasn't there. So its somewhere in between," she thought out loud. "I can pick different points, and go back to them trying to figure it out. But it would be easier if you just told me when your mother died."

"She did not die," I yelled, the tenuous control I had over my emotions snapping. "She was slaughtered. Like some sort of animal."

She shrunk away from me, as if she were trying to disappear into the chair. She seemed tiny for a moment as she cowered, but then she drew an inner strength, and she sat up straight in the chair. She put her chin up as she leveled her stair with me. She let go of whatever fear I had instilled in her, and in that moment she amazed me.

"When did your father," she stuttered. "Slaughter her."

I let the silence hang momentarily after she asked. No one had ever asked, not even Lily, what had happened to my mother. Of course, the one conversation I had with her after it happened was the conversation that ended our friendship.

"In my fifth year," I answered quietly. "Of course, according to muggle police reports, she was killed in an attempted robbery. And there was no investigation by the ministry of magic."

"Was there a robbery?" she asked quietly.

"No there was not," I replied lifelessly, pressing my fingers against my left temple as I looked away from her. "But the house did show signs of a struggle, and things appeared to be missing. Things that were actually hidden in the basement."

"Thank you Professor Snape," she said, her robes rustling as she stood, drawing my gaze back to her. "I'm going to head back now."

"You owe me nothing," I sighed, pressing harder against my temple, fighting off the terrible pain growing in my head. "You do not have to go back."

"Maybe you don't think I do," she said quietly. "But I'm going."

I caught the barely audible whisper of a spell and she disappeared from in before me. I stared at the empty space for what felt like a lifetime, but in the reality of our twisted timeline was only a second, and then the air in in the empty space was disturbed as she began to reappear.

She came into existence, and my heart stopped beating. Her robes looked wet, her shirt which had been grey when she left appeared to be black, possibly a deep purple. It was disconcerting, but I could hardly see it because I was distracted by her face and hands. Her hair stuck to her face, matted down with blood, and I thought it might not be hers. She was shaking, one hand holding her wand, the other holding the time turner, both of them coated in blood.

I stood from the chair, my body taking me to her before I knew what I was doing. I stood in front of her, my hands fluttering uncharacteristically, unsure how to help her.

"Where are you hurt," I asked her in a thick voice, drawing my wand.

"I-I-I" she stuttered dropping the time turner and running her hand across her face in confusion leaving a streak of blood on her cheek. "There was so much. I couldn't. He-he… I'm so sorry Severus."

I was torn between the strange feeling in my gut when she called me Severus, the anger I felt remembering with perfectly clarity the blood scene she had just witnessed, and fear at how shaky and confused she seemed as she stood before me. Was she just in shock or had she been injured.

"Where are you hurt?" I asked again, stepping closer so I was in her personal space.

"My heart," she gasped, her whole frame going rigid for a moment before she began to cry.

She seemed almost as if she were seizing, her body shook so roughly as she lowered herself to the floor crying. I swept over her as she began to curl in on herself on the floor. I forced her to lay on her back, trying to hold her still so I could heal her wound. I pulled her bloody grey shirt to the side, revealing the top of her chest so I could better see her injury, but all I saw was unbroken flesh. I used the sleeve of my robe to wipe away the coat of blood on her skin, and waited to see where it would be replaced. I waited for the wound to reveal itself, but he skin remained blood free.

"Oh," I breathed in surprise as I realized what she meant. Her heart hurt, but it was not injured. Not physically. "Hermione. We should… you should get cleaned up. It will help you feel better."

She nodded through her tears, trying to pull herself up from the floor with shaking arms. She was putting bloody handprints on my furniture, but she was not succeeding in getting off of the floor of my office. I stood, and I pulled her up from the floor gently. I held onto her shoulders, doing my best to ignore their shaking, and led her through the door that went into my chambers. I bypassed the bedroom, and the smaller sitting room honestly more of a breakfast nook, and I led her into the bathroom. I released her so I could turn on the shower.

"If you set your clothes—" I started to say, but I was distracted by her stepping, fully clothed, into the shower spray.

She stood there, her eye closed, tears still falling, and let the water spray on her. She didn't move to wash her hair or hands, she just stood there, crying while the water drenched her. The water was rapidly rinsing the blood off of her shirt, and I assumed her robes, but her hair remained matter with blood, her hands hung red at her sides.

I don't know what made me do it, but I found myself stepping into the small shower stall behind her. I wrapped my arms around her, taking one of her hands in mine and using a bar of soap to scrub the blood off of it. I made quick work of both her hands and arms. I tried not to think how far past the lines of propriety we had gotten as I turned her around so the shower spray would be hitting her hair instead of her chest.

I kept my eyes trained on her face, propping an arm behind her shoulders so I could lean her further back into the falling water. Her head fall back lifelessly, the tears spilling down the sides of her face, and it was one of the most painful pictures I had been forced to look at in a long time. I tried to shut down my mind of thought while I gently washed the blood off of her face. I awkwardly portioned out shampoo with one hand, keeping her supported, and began to lather it, scrubbing the clotted blood from her hair.

"Thank you," she said quietly as I started rinsing her hair. "I'm okay now. I think I can do it."

I nodded, and slowly let go with the arm that was holding her up. She swayed momentarily, but she did not fall. I stepped gingerly out of the shower, trying not to splash water all over the bathroom. I drew my wand once more, quickly casting a drying spell on myself as well as the surrounding floor, and then I exited the bathroom. I closed the door behind me and walked resolutely back to the bottle of fire whiskey I had left out and poured another glass.

I stared at the bottle, sipping my drink, trying to put together how my life had become the life of a professor who had just for all intents and purposes showered with one of his students. I was still staring at the bottle when the girl came back in the room. Her clothes were dry, had she picked up how to do the spell just by watching me?

"When did you learn the hot air charm?" I asked her before taking another drink.

"In the fifth year," she explained as she pulled her dry, but incredibly frizzy hair into a messy bun.

"You are a third year," I pointed out while I swirled my drink around in the glass.

"Yes, but I just attended fifth year with you," she explained, slumping into the seat nearest the fire. "Well up until Easter break. And for the record, being an invisible friend at Hogwarts is a lot harder than being an invisible friend in at Spinner's End."

I thought about that, searching my mind, as she fell silent. I had been so distracted by her shocking appearance that I hadn't noticed the new memories. I could now remember spilling my complaints to her as Lily grew further and further from me. I remembered conversations about my family with her, and her coming home with me over Christmas break. And I could remember being with her, hiding, as my father killed my mother. Her shocked face, the way she couldn't seem to move either. Both of us paralyzed with fear.

"You went for the whole year?" was the only response I could come up with.

"I didn't know when in your fifth year it would happen," she explained. "I understand now. I will try again, and I will do better."

"No," I said stiffly, nursing my drink.

"I will be going back," she said fiercely, and for the first time since she came back I saw fire in her eyes.

"Not tonight," I conceded tiredly. "You need rest."

"Maybe you are right," she sighed, standing up from the chair and walking toward the door. "Maybe you're right."

And just like that she was gone from my office. I sat there quietly for a long time, replaying the now altered memory of my mother's death. It was still awful, like it had always been, but I felt different about it now. Underneath the guilt, and the fear, and the pain there was something else. I couldn't name the emotion I had felt while hiding her behind me in the crawl space while she cowered in fear beside me. The emotion that I could name was pride. I was proud of her when she put herself back together and stepped away from the fear that I knew she felt because I had felt it too.

-`-'-

I didn't see Hermione outside of class when term started. She didn't come to me for times to go back too, but I knew she must still be going back. She seemed to be getting older than her peers at a rate more accelerated than simply reliving the day should be doing. Mostly, my memories didn't change, so I couldn't really prove that she was going back. But I was sure that she was simply going back, and then erasing whatever she did because it was unsuccessful.

Once or twice she left things unchanged long enough for the memories to filter through. I had a fleeting memory of Hermione intervening, but failing to save my mother, but it left as quickly as it had come so I knew she had warped time to keep herself from going back. And in the middle of night, when I could not sleep, there were a few agonizing seconds where I was certain I could remember seeing my father attack and kill Hermione. She must have lived, because when I drug myself from bed, pulling my robes on so I could go check on the girl, the memory had disappeared from my mind. It left me panting for air, but unsure of what to think. My eyes burned, and I felt like a horrible bout of tears was coming on at the thought of her being dead.

I was attached.

I hadn't spoken to her about anything other than potion brewing in three months, but I was attached none the less. And that made me so very angry. This whole situation made me angry. I wanted to steal that time turner, and go back and stop myself from getting her involved. Stop her from trying to save me. I couldn't be saved, because I deserved this life I had lived. That was what I was thinking about when I kept her after class the Friday before the Easter break.

"Miss Granger," I said, pacing back and forth behind my desk, not looking at her. "I think it best that we stop all this madness."

"I'm sorry?" she said, and I turned to see her leaning against the table in front of my desk with her arms.

"I think we should undo all of this," I said quietly. "You shouldn't be putting yourself at risk like this."

"Sir, I don't think that is your call anymore," she said stiffly. "Over the last three months, I have invest a total of six months trying to save your mother. I have reappeared her at the castle covered in blood so many times I can't even keep count anymore. So I think it's my say if I continue or not."

"That is exactly my point," I snapped turning on her, folding my arms over my chest as well. "She is my mother, not yours. You shouldn't be coming back covered in blood. It's just, enough alright. You need to go back to being a thirteen year old. You should be thinking about boys and silly joke shop toys from the village and that's it."

"But I'm not thirteen anymore," she sighed rolling her eyes up to look at the ceiling while she spoke. "Between repeating days for school, going back for those two years in your childhood, and the seven months in your fifth year, and all of it, with all the time travel, I am 18 years, seven months, and 24 days old, give or take a few hours. So no I can't go back to being a thirteen year old sorry."

"I didn't mean physically," I groaned, rubbing my eyes and trying to focus on what my point had been. "I just mean that you should stop. Stop trying to help me, stop traveling back and altering my past. Just stop. Please."

"Fine, I will stop helping you," she snapped, her face growing red as she yelled at me. "You may as well rip up that damn contract and release me from my obligation to you then. Make this all official or whatever."

"I burned the contract over Christmas break," I told her quietly.

"You what?" she gasped looking around the room in confusion. "The contract hasn't existed this whole time?"

"No it hasn't," I said. "I should have told you much sooner. I'm sorry."

"I," she started, pacing back and forth in front of her table, not talking to me. "I should go. I should get out of here."

"That is probably for the best," I answered, surprised by how it pained me to think that she was fleeing away from me now that she knew she was free. "You are no longer magically bound to me, but I would appreciate it if you still kept this to yourself."

"Of course," she stuttered as she turned and started walking away from me. "You too though. I'd be in a lot of trouble if people found out what I did."

"Of course," I agreed, focusing more on how odd her voice sounded rather than what she was saying.

Maybe she always sounded like that when she was angry. Her voice climbing like she might be about to cry. Maybe she always stormed away refusing to look at people when she was angry. I wouldn't know, I had very rarely seen her angry. But I deserved to see her angry now. I should have told her when I burned the contract.

* * *

 **Ch6:Songs for this chapter :I Won't Be Left by Tegan and Sara and It Ends Tonight by All American Rejects and When the World Stops Spinning by Kyler England**

 **The quote is from Georges Clemenceau.**

 **HPOV**

It was unexplainable, or I just wanted it to be. I walked away from the potions class room, trying to wrap my mind around the idea that everything I had felt in the last three months meant something entirely different than I thought it did. I thought that I was drawn to him, and his past, because I was magically bound to him. I had believed that my mind was lying to me when I thought it might be something else, and I had convinced myself that it was all magic. Just magic, it wasn't really feelings.

So if it wasn't magic, I had an even bigger problem. I had absorbed him into my life. I had literally wrapped my life around his life. Invited him into every corner of my mind essentially, and now I had to find a new explanation for why I had done it. The only reason, the reason I was sure was the right one, was also the wrong one. I could not be the girl who fell blindly for her teacher. I fell for him, and I thought it was something else the whole time. And I didn't realize that I had fallen for him until I landed face first on the cold stone floor because he didn't catch me. Could catch me. Wouldn't even want to catch me. Because in his eyes as well as the eyes of the world. I was a thirteen year old witch from a completely different background than this man, and heading toward a different future as well.

I walked up to the astronomy tower, with all of these thoughts bouncing around in my head. I couldn't focus, I couldn't really think anymore. As I stood in the tower, with the sunlight shining down on me, mocking me. All I could think of was some stupid quote I read in a history class before I even came to Hogwarts.

War is a series of catastrophes that results in a victory.

I couldn't remember who had said it. I couldn't remember what we had even been talking about in class when the quote had come up. All I could think about was how this whole thing felt like a war. One catastrophe after another, and yet I didn't even know who I was waging war against.

I ran my hands over the sun baked stones of the tower, looking out of the grounds, asking myself. Who was I waging war against. I thought maybe it was Snape's inner demons. That would make sense wouldn't it? My opponent was also the person I was fighting for wasn't it? If it were, I should be winning shouldn't I? Because I had fought battle after battle with his inner demons, and in the end I had been the victor. So either there were more of them, or I was fighting someone else.

Who else could I be waging a war with? I played each trip back in time over in my mind. I thought about all the things I had done, and tried to find the answer. But I couldn't. I couldn't find some elusive answer when all I could think about was how much my heart hurt. I couldn't get past the fact that no matter what had actually happened down in that dungeon, I felt like had been dumped. And like some silly teenager, I felt worthless, because I had been dumped. I felt unwanted. And I felt like there was no way to turn this into a victory. This was a lost war, all the catastrophes with no point.

How could I have a victory? What could turn this into a victory and make me feel better? That thought repeated in my mind as I tried to move forward with life. I went to my classes, all of them except divination which I was done with. I got all of my work done. I fought to help Hagrid win his appeal. I fought with Ron about that damn rat. But all I thought about was, if I can't have the dark haired man that I had grown inexplicably attached to, then how do I turn this around so I still get my victory?

The answer didn't occur to me until after another failure. The appeal had failed, the whole debacle with Sirius Black happened and I finally understood the intricacies of what lead to the Potter deaths, and then the attempt to stop Wormtail failed. We succeeded in saving buck beak, and Sirius, but Wormtail got away. And as I sat with Harry and Ron in the hospital wing thinking about him and the prophecy Harry had heard about him returning to the dark lord I discovered what could be my victory.

I could make it so Wormtail had no one to return to. The murder was a point in time that couldn't be changed, but what came from it could be couldn't it? The idea hadn't occurred to me before, but maybe that was because we had just learned about the Dropa Stones before the final exams.

Muggles thought the stones were created by aliens, but we learned that they were created by ancient Chinese wizards. They were created because of the belief about ancestors living amongst the families. Some of the wizards worried about angry ancestors, and they created the Dropa stones for their own protection. The stones captured and trapped malevolent spirits. I needed to get a Dropa stone, and use it to trap the most malevolent spirit of them all. That would prevent Wormtail from being able to do anything else and that would be a victory. If I made it so he had no mater to return to, I may even be able to cause his capture, and that would be a victory.

So I lay in bed waiting for Harry and Ron to fall back asleep. When I could hear that Harry's breathing had evened out, and Ron had started to snore I knew they were both out. I sat up quietly, and I pulled the time turner out of my blouse. I held it in my hand, trying to decide how far back I needed to go in order to have enough time to go and get a Dropa stone and return to my spot here in the hospital wing.

"To when do you plan to go now Miss Granger?" a hoarse whisper came from the darkness.

I turned, already knowing who was speaking. He may not want anything to do with me anymore, but I would always respond to that voice. I think I would still hear it even if I were dead. He sat on the edge of a bed on the other side of the ward, and it looked like he had been there for a while. Severus.

"How long have you been there?" I asked, hedging away from answering his question.

"Since everyone else went to bed," he said quietly. "I just wanted… to make sure everyone was ok."

"I'm sorry about your Order of Merlin," I whispered quietly.

"Why would you undo something like that?" he asked, his voice pained, like I had hit him.

"It wasn't about undoing your honor, it was about setting an innocent man free," I said, staring down at my lap.

"Sirius isn't innocent. He got Lily killed." He growled, pushing his hand through his hair in frustration.

"No Severus, we both know it's Peter Pettigrew who is responsible for that," I said, watching his face ripple in pain, though strangely enough it seemed to happen when I said his name.

"He may as well have," he said as he leaned forward to hide his face in his hands. "I just... I want someone to pay for what happened."

"I know, but Sirius has already been paying for twelve years," I whispered across the open space. "So I think that's enough. It has to be."

"If you think it should be this way, then where are you going?" he asked me looking up from his hands once more.

"It's not directly related." I hedged.

"Hermione," he said quietly, and I felt my heart ripple in pain, couldn't he just call me Miss Granger and spare me. "Why hide from me. Have I not honored my promise to keep your secrets?"

I thought about that. The contract had been null and void for six months and he still had not said anything about my misuse of the time turner. Not telling about the extensive travels, because that would incriminate him as well. But he could have, if he wanted too. I could trust him even if he didn't want be the way I wanted him right?

"I'm going to get a Dropa stone," I answered quietly. "Since I couldn't stop Wormtail from getting away, I am going to make it so Wormtail has no master to return to. I'll get my victory."

"Victory," he mused, looking at me like a strange puzzle he couldn't figure out. "So you intend to trap the dark lord in a Dropa stone?"

"Yes," I told him, standing up from my bed and crossing over to where he sat. "And he will provide me with the perfect opportunity to do just that at the end of my first year."

In the time it took for him to answer me, I thought about how weird my vocabulary had come when I was talking about time. There was no real sense of direction in time for me anymore. Backward, forward, it was all a future possibility anymore.

"I'm coming," he said finally, interrupting my train of thought. "And it's not effecting my past, so you cannot accuse me of being a risk to your health."

His eyes crinkled slightly around the edges and I wondered if that was a joke. Was he telling me a joke? That was so unlike the dark broody persona he projected.

"Alright," I agreed hesitantly. "You might be useful. First step, get the Dropa stone."

"Where do you suggest we get one of those?" he asked me.

"Well I'd love to say something awesome, like we have to rob a museum," I chuckled. "But I think we'll just permanently borrow the one in Professor Babbling."

"I suppose having something to show when discussing them in Runes would be useful," Snape mused, "Though it's still surprising she would have one, they are hard to come by, at least that's what I hear."

"Well, I'm sure she will understand, once we rid the world of He Who Must Not Be Name," I chuckled darkly. "How far back do you think we need to go to steal the stone without interruption?"

"Why go back at all," he said standing from his position bed. "Everyone in the castle has gone to bed, and you have a professor to vouch for you if we should run in to anyone."

And again with the joking, he was going to make it awfully difficult to pretend he was just my mean potions professor if he wasn't going to act appropriately. I nodded for him to lead the way, and tried to focus only on the task at hand.

He walked at a brisk pace out of the room, his robes billowing behind him, and for the second time tonight I wondered what he had been doing in the hospital wing. It was lucky he was the one who saw me starting to use the time turner and not someone else, but why was he there. Why did he suddenly care about the welfare of his students enough to watch over them through the night? Had my tampering with his past altered his personality that much?

He was now helping a student to rob another professor, so perhaps it had. He led me to her office, and drew his wand without a word to drop the wards. He moved his hand back and forth across the door, his eyes closed, his head tipped to the side like he was listening to something. He straightened up after hearing whatever it was he needed to hear, and then he began to move his wand along the frame of the door while murmuring spells. His way had much more finesse than mine, I would have just blasted the door open and dealt with the damage later.

His murmuring stopped, and he reach out and opened the door like this was completely normal, and he did it every day. He pushed the door completely open and then gestured for me to enter with a half bow and cheeky smile. Who was this man, and what did he do with the Severus I knew?

I entered the room with a shake of my head, and lit the tip of my wand so I could see what I was looking at. Professor Babbling was definitely going to notice the Dropa stone was gone. She had it displayed on the book shelf behind her desk. Maybe she could get a replacement or something, I didn't have time to feel bad for her right now. Well that wasn't entirely true, I had the time if I wanted to take it, I just didn't want to take the time.

I picked it up from the shelf, surprised by the weight of it, and ran my thumb over the engravings as I walked back over to join Severus in the doorway. The stone was about the size of both of my hands, but it felt much heavier than something that size should. I weighed it in my hands, trying to decide if that meant there was a soul in there already.

"So, I was thinking we should to the hidden chamber before we travel back," I told him as I stepped back out of the office. "That way we can avoid going through all of the obstacles again."

"Seems sensible," he said as he closed the door, and went to work replacing the wards. "I believe all of the obstacles have been removed. Accept possibly the troll."

"You can be serious," I gasped tearing my eyes away from the stone to look at him. "That is so inhumane. You guys didn't really leave a troll down there to rot did you?"

"Hermione," he chuckled, and I fought the ripple again. "I was joking. Of course we did not leave a troll in bowls of the castle to die."

I shook my head at him, fully aware that my mouth was hanging open.

"Since when do you tell jokes?" I asked him in my shock.

"Would you prefer I be callous?" he hedged.

"No," I said, probably too quickly. "I'll take the jokes. Shall we go to the third floor corridor then?"

"Lead the way?" he replied.

I made my way out of the sixth floor corridor, and down the many sets of stairs with Severus right behind me. We didn't talk much as we moved, we were one a mission of our own creation, and we were focused on that instead.

The trap door we needed to go through was no longer blocked by a three headed dog, so the panic I felt last time I was here was gone. Severus threw the door open and pushed his lit wand into opening to check it out.

"The Devil's Snare is gone as well," he informed me. "I will go first so that I can stop your momentum when you drop."

"Who will stop yours?" I asked hugging the stone to my chest as I moved closer to the opening.

"I will obviously," he said with a hint of his normal snark sneaking back into his voice.

"Well, be my guest then," I said with a sweeping motion toward the opening.

He lowered himself to the floor so he was sitting with his feet dangling into the darkness. He gripped his wand a little tighter in his hand, and then he slid off the edge and fell into the darkness. I could hear his voice cast the spell that would stop him from breaking neck or something less dangers like his legs.

"Your turn," he called from down below.

I set down on the edge just like he had, but then I hesitated. I didn't like the idea of falling into the darkness any more than I had all those years ago… well I guess it was only two years ago in the natural time line.

"I promise I'll catch you," he called up to me. "You don't have to be afraid."

"This was so much easier when the only other choice was to be eaten by a massive three headed dog," I called back.

"Think of it this way," he called up to me. "You are one short fall away from your victory."

Victory. I held onto that thought as I let myself drop off of the edge and fall into the darkness.

"Arresto momentum," his voice echoed around me, and the air stopped moving so quickly around me.

I felt the ground touch my feet, and then I was standing beside him. Our wands lit the cavern enough that we could see the path ahead. There was no longer a flickering light up ahead like there had been before. There was no light at all down here, save for the two points at the ends of our wands. We walked together around the bend, and into the open room that was once filled with flying keys.

"At least we don't have to fly around like maniacs this time around," I chuckled as I started making my way across the room.

"Could have been fun," he said as he walked quickly behind me. "I am an excellent flyer after all."

"Are you?" I asked as I reached out to grab the handle of the door. "In all the time I spent with you I never actually saw you fly."

"Well from age nine to eleven, the first chunk of time you spent with me, I was too young to fly," he said as he reached over my head to grab the door and hold it open while I walked through. "And by my fifth year I had quit the quidditch team, so I guess you wouldn't have seen me fly."

"You quit?" I asked, but then it occurred to me that he might have been more interested in the dark arts at that point than sports, so I hurried to ask a different question. "What position did you play?"

"Seeker," he offered easily as he quicken his pace so he could open the door that led into the troll room for me.

I peeked into the room before stepping inside, half expecting there to be a troll in there stinking up the place. But the room was blessedly empty so I stepped inside. I walked at a more leisurely pace over to the open doorway that would lead us to our destination.

"Will the flames still spring up?" I asked him, looking over my shoulder at him as hesitated in front of the doorway.

"No the spell has been removed," he assured me.

I nodded my head and I stepped over the threshold. I crossed the short distance of the room, and entered the last chamber of the tunnel. It seemed naked without the mirror in it. I stepped to the side of the door and waited for Severus to join me.

"So, the disillusionment should cover the stone as well as the time turner if we cast it while they are on your person," he explained. "That being said, you should probably line your wand up with the time turner before I cast it so you aren't fumbling around for it when you can no longer see either item."

I nodded, and pulled the chain of the time turner up and over his head. I felt my heart rate pick up at the close proximity his body had to mine, and I hoped he didn't notice. I tried to pretend I felt as clinically different as I had the first time we had traveled through time like this. It was hard to get my mind to focus on that with the whisper of his cologne tickling my nose. I extinguished the light on my wand, hoping that not seeing him would help me center myself. He cast the disillusionment and we both disappeared. He extinguished the light from his wand and we were in complete darkness.

"Accelerantempo," I said as I focused on the point in time we were going to, tapping the wand against the time turner before pulling away so I could turn give it a turn.

At first I couldn't tell that time was moving around us. In the darkness there did not seem to be a difference. But as we approached the proper time the room flared into to light, and it was temporarily blinding. When my eyes adjusted, I saw that the world had come into focus around us.

We were right in the thick of the battle that had taken place between Quirrell and Harry. I started to move forward to pull the man off of Harry as they both cried out in pain, but Severus's arm held me firmly against him so I could not move.

"We have to let this play out," he whispered into my ear. "Otherwise the Dark Lord's spirit will not be released from Quirrell's body."

I nodded in agreement, and then I realized he could not see me. I hoped he knew from the jostling of my body that I had been nodding at him, and I focused my attention back on the struggle. Severus kept his arm wrapped around me, and I tried to convince myself that I didn't like it.

We waited for the two men to stop. It only took a few minutes, but it seemed like a life time. Watching Harry be in such incredible pain was brutal. When he had told Ron and I about what had happened down here, he had been incredibly vague. It hadn't seemed anything like this when I tried to picture.

Soon, but not soon enough, Quirrell fell. The spirit of He Who Shall Not Be Named flowed out of him, as Harry collapsed into unconsciousness. The spirit was mostly a cloud, but I could just make out a face screaming in rage as the spirit was pulled to us. I could feel my robes billowing around me, as an unnatural wind kicked up as the spirit fought not to be sucked into the stone that I had tucked against my body.

The stone grew hot against my skin as his spirit lost the battle and he was sucked into the stone prison. The rushing wind stopped and the room feel eerily still around us. I cradled the stone close to my chest, as I fumbled to get my wand lined up with the time turner once more. Severus must have sensed my struggle because he removed the disillusionment and suddenly I could see what I was doing again.

"Diritornu," I said as I quickly tapped the time turner and gave it one more turn.

Just like that, time started moving, and the light was snuffed out around us. We returned to our present, where there was no light in this cavern. I stood there in the darkness, trying to savor the moment. It was dark, but the stone was warm in my hand and that brightened our present a bit. We had his soul trapped, he could not hurt anyone.

"How does your victory feel," Severus asked, his voice seeming to fill the darkness around us. "Is it what you expected?"

I didn't know how to answer him. Yes it felt good to have accomplished what I set out to do, but with something of this magnitude I should want to shout from the mountain tops shouldn't I? It should be the most important thing in my world. And yet, I was more thrilled that he still had his arm wrapped around my shoulders.

"It feels good," I answered finally. "One last hurrah and all that."

"You're done with time travel then?" he asked, his voice sounding curious, and somehow closer to me.

"Well I think I am whether I want to be or not," I said with a quiet breathy laugh. "Once I turn this stone over, I will have to admit that I was using the time turner for more than my classes. And it will be taken away."

"When you share the break though that allows travel in both directions, along with the ability to go further back they might be more lenient," he offered quietly. "They may allow you to keep it. In the name of science."

"It was your discovery," pointed out. "Maybe they will let you keep it."

"I want you to take credit for the discovery," he answered. "But before you think me noble, you should know that I am doing it to cover my own backside. If they are angered at you for abusing the time turner, you are likely to only get a slap on the wrist. But if I were the one, an adult who is very aware of the laws, were the one, they may not be so lenient."

"Well then, that's very noble of you sir," I laughed at him, my whole body shaking with how hard I laughed at that.

"Don't call me sir," he said in a strained voice.

"I'm sorry?" I asked, my laughs dying off as his tone got through to me, and the quiet settled around me.

"I'm standing here with you wrapped up in my arms," he said. "I have just handed you the credit for a serious breakthrough in the science of time travel. Our pasts have been irrevocably wrapped around one another, and now we are standing together in a dark cavern having finally, really and truly finally, ended the reign of the Dark Lord. At a time like this, the last thing I want to hear is you calling me sir."

"What do you want me to call you?" I asked him.

"I should ask you the same thing," he said back, and I realized he was much closer than before. I was sure his lips were right by my ear. "I could call you my savoir. I could call you a saint. If you so wish I could return to calling you Miss Granger, but I must be honest with you I don't want to do that."

"Severus?" I breathed into the small space between us, my heart racing at his words. Was he saying what I thought he was?

"I guess I can call you Severus if that's what you want," he chuckled, and his breath tickled the shell of my ear. "But I'd rather call you Hermione or something else."

He stopped talking, and thought I could not see him, I could feel his hand as it brushed over my cheek causing a flutter in my stomach. I didn't dare move, if this was some sort of hallucination I didn't want to disrupt it. It was too much to hope for, too perfect. He brushed his thumb over my lower lip and I barely stifled the shaky breath from being something more intimate.

"I could call you love if you so permit," he said huskily and his thumb disappeared as he lips brushed against mine.

I could not stop the shaky gasp that escaped me. He pulled back, probably unsure of what it meant that I had gasped, but I leaned forward to close the gap between us again. I pressed my lips to his, and fought the giddy girlish urge to squeal. We were kissing! He had asked if he could call me love! God, if I was dreaming right now I would actually scream.

"Lumos," I said, light flaring up between us as I panted for breath staring at him, with a question written clearly on his face. "I want to see your face. I want to see your face, when you tell me again what you'd like to call me."

"Love?" he said as he leaned back in to me. "You want to see my face while I call you love?"

His face was light, and happy as he said it. His eyes shone as he leaned forward to once again close the gap between us. I breathed deeply, taking in the slightly musky scent of his cologne, and I let my eyes drift closed as he kissed me once again.

"So," I breathed into the tiny gap between us when our kiss broke. "You still haven't told me what you want me to call you."

"Well I do love the way Severus sounds on your lips," he said as he brushed his thumb over my bottom lip again. "But you can call me whatever you like, so long as it isn't sir."

"Well Severus," I said drawing out his name, watching his eyes grow dark as I did it. "We should probably get going. We have a headmaster to alert about our incredible victory against the side of darkness."

He nodded, still looking at my mouth, and I wasn't sure if he had really heard me.

"So you have to let me go," I prodded.

"I have no intention of ever letting you go," he said firmly, stealing a quick kiss before he continued. "But I suppose I could concede to let you out of my arms long enough to complete this task."

I chuckled lightly at that, and leaned in to steal one last quick kiss. He let his arms drop from around me, but he angled out his elbow in a clear invitation for me to take it. I pinched myself on the arm, to make sure I really wasn't dreaming, and when it hurt I smiled and threaded my arm through his. He lit his wand as well, and then we made our way back out of the chamber to face whatever future was waiting for us. Together.

* * *

 **Ch7:Songs for this chapter: So Much Love by the Rocket Summer, and Duet by Rachael Yamagata ft. Ray Lamontagne**

 **SPOV**

Life had change substantially while we were down in that dark chamber, but life changed even more when we emerged. We went straight to the headmasters office, ignoring the late hour, and the high likelihood that he was sleeping. We told him the story, the whole story, of the time turner and what it led to. We told him about the spell that as far as he would ever know Hermione had created, we told him about all the attempts at changing my personal history, and we told him about the successful collection of the Dark Lord's soul into the Dropa stone that we stole from Bathsheda.

That meant a lot of things. I was on probation for my involvement, but it was mostly for show as my restrictions and allowance did not appear any different than before I was on probation. Hermione was temporarily suspend from Hogwarts pending her trial with the ministry and placement testing. She had technically aged out of school, but had not learned nearly as much as she should know for her age, so Albus was requiring that she take a placement test to determine what year she would be in when she returned to school. Which was slated to be in the fall.

The trail was continually being pushed back as awards and attention were poured onto the situation. Both of us had been awarded the Order of Merlin first class, and we had enjoyed quite the laugh over her last hurrah at time travel had essentially restored the award she had taken from me, all in one night. And it was the last hurrah with the time turner because the ministry had confiscated it from her and privately it was a punitive action, but publicly they were having it immortalized in a statue in honor of the final and complete defeat of the Dark Lord.

Anytime either of us left the grounds of Hogwarts we were hounded by the press, everyone wanted a piece of the story, so even though it was summer, we did not leave the castle. Albus, thankfully, banished all reporters from the grounds, which allowed us to have a little peace.

The trail was also pushed back by the scheduling of the Victory Ball. That was the thing I was least excited for. Music, dancing, having to watch men fawn over Hermione. It honestly sounded like hell. Hermione's official physical age had been accepted legally by the ministry, so in the eyes of the law she was of age, and I could stake my claim on her publicly, but that did not mean that other men would not notice her. And as much as I wanted to see her dressed to the nines and basking in the glory of her victory, I am inherently a selfish man, and that was not a vision I wanted to share with anyone.

"Severus, don't be all grumbly today," she said, pulling my mind back to the present where we were walking around the lake hand in hand. "It's sunny, and there isn't any wind. Today is a day to smile, and to just be. Can't you just be? With me?"

"Yes Hermione," I agreed easily, feeling the smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. "I won't be grumbly. I promise."

"Good," she giggled as she pulled me under the shade of a tree that hung over the edge of the lake. "Now, swim with me."

"What?" I answered, looking around at the empty grounds wondering if someone was about to jump out and tell me this was all some strange joke. "I didn't bring any swimwear."

"Neither did I?" she laughed, and she started to shimmy out of her jeans.

"Hermione," I gasped, averting my eyes.

I may have kissed the girl, but I wasn't ready to see her without her clothes on. Was I?

"Oh Severus don't be such a prude," she laughed, and I heard the sound of fabric hitting the ground. I stared up into the branches of the tree above us, and I heard that same sound twice more and I felt certain that she had removed her robe and her tank top as well.

"Oh come on," she laughed at me over the splashing that told me she was entering the lake. "Won't you please swim with me?"

And like she always could she got me to look at her. I lowered my eyes from the trees and ever so slowly I looked down at the water. She had waded out until the water was hitting her clavicle. The sun was blazing off of her hair, and dancing on her cream shoulders broke only by the pink satin straps of a bra. It was already more than I had ever seen of her, and I felt my chest tighten slightly at the thought of seeing more. I hadn't admitted it to her aloud yet, but I loved that girl who was waiting for me in the water. I loved her spirit and her dedication. And damn it if I didn't love her body to.

"Don't be shy," she prodded as she waved her arms through the water around her, smiling cheerfully at me. "I won't even watch while you get in the water. Scouts honor."

"You can't use the scouts honor," I chuckled at her as I reached up to unfasten the buttons on my outer robes. "Only boys can be in the scouts."

"No sir," she chirped as I let my own heap of fabric fall to the ground. "Girls can be scouts too. I was a brownie for a whole year before I got my letter to Hogwarts."

"Aright alright, you can use the scout's honor," I laughed, kicking out of my shoes. "But if, and only if, you don't call me sir."

"Yes sir," she cackled with a goofy salute, and then she flipped around and dove under the lake water.

I stood, temporarily frozen by the flash of backside and upper thigh I had glimpsed before she disappeared under the water. Suddenly I was very anxious to be in the water. I hastily she my trousers and dress shirt and hurried out into the water. I was submerged up to my hips when she broke the surface once more, treading water about twenty feet away. I felt certain that I could use that very image to conjure the strongest patronus possible. I chuckled at that thought as I waded further into the water. Shortly after kissing Hermione I had cast my patronus, to see if it was still a doe, but it had in fact changed. When I finally let go of everything I held on to with Lily, and allowed myself to feel what I was feeling for Hermione, my doe was no longer a doe. It turned into a bright and cheerful otter. I would have to teach her to cast the spell so that I could find out if hers was in fact also an otter. I was pulled from my musings by two strong but small arms wrapping around my torso from behind. Hermione's chest was pressing against my spine, and her laughter was shaking me.

"Aren't you going to swim with me?" she asked before she pressed her lips gently against the scar that ran across my shoulders.

"You don't have to do that," I said as I suppressed a shudder that hovered somewhere between fear and pleasure.

"Will you tell me where you go it," she asked as she ran her finger along the full length of the scar. "Or maybe this one?"

She closed her palm over the scar that wrapped from the back of my left hip to the front. The heat of her hand pressing against my most sensitive patch of skin was an intense feeling. I put my hand on top of hers, keeping her hand there while I tried to find the right words.

"This one, is from war," I said, looking over my shoulder to watch her reaction to my words. "I was in a battle against members of the Order of the Phoenix. I was hit by a spell from Mad Eye Moody that no one on the other side had ever heard of. It made it difficult to heal the wound, and we were not entirely successful. We were able to knit the skin back together, but it left the nerves very close to the surface, and the skin unable to completely mend."

"Does it hurt?" she asked, her fingers fluttering as she tried pull her hand away. "I'm sorry."

"No, it does not hurt," I assured her, holding her hand still against it. "There nerves, which are over sensitive, feel quite good when low heat or light touch is applied."

"So that is a very clinical way of saying that this feels very good?" she asked as she forced my hand to move so she could trail her fingers lightly over the raised slightly pink flesh.

"Yes," I shuddered leaning back in to her.

She continued to brush her fingers back and forth over the raised flesh on my hip, and between that sensation, and the feeling of her breasts pressed against my back I felt an embarrassingly inappropriate reaction for our currently location not to mention the very under developed state of our physical relationship.

"Perhaps we should swim like we had originally intended," I breathed, stilling her hand against my hip once more.

"Hmmm," she groaned pressing her face into the depression between my shoulder blades. "Fine. But I was rather enjoyed the sound of your labored breathing."

And just like that she wasn't touching me anymore. She splashed water around again as she swam back out to where she had to tread water. I backed further into the water, until the water was hitting me at chest level and then I turned to face her. I attempted awkwardly to swim over to her, but my little problem was getting in the way so I stopped and just offered her an apologetic smile.

"Okay, no swimming just yet," she chuckled as she swam her way back over to me. "So do you want to see my scar? I only have the one, and its little, but you can see it if you want."

"Where did you get a scar?" I asked as I waited for her to close the distance between us.

"Oh you know, the incredibly barbaric muggle medicine system," she laughed as she reached me. "At least that's what Ron always calls it. I had my appendix removed when I was six."

She maneuvered herself in the water so she was floating on her back before me. She was offering up the tiny white line, barely visible scar for my inspection, but I hardly noticed it. I was far more occupied with her matching bra and panty set, and they toned sculpted body that was wearing them. This was not helping with my little problem in the slightest.

"It's a very admirable scar," I said quietly as I ran my finger over the little line. "The barbarians did an adequate job of stitching you back together."

She giggled at that as she kept floating in the water before me. I took the opportunity to explore, splaying my hand across her abdomen. She was smaller than me, the base of my palm rested on her sharp hipbone and my fingers stretched past her belly button. I grazed my hand across to her other hip and gripped it lightly before I trailed my hand down from hip to knee. I would have liked to keep a hold on her sculpted leg, but she needed it to swim so I released her.

"Are you admiring my leg?" she giggled, righting herself so she was standing in front of me rather than floating.

"Yes," I answered honestly.

"Well, they are kind of nice I guess," she said leaning in so she was within inches of touching me with her chest again. "You should thank the man who told me a few years ago that it was best to exercise each day. His suggestion lead me to waking up with yoga, and going to bed after a nice long run. Which created the leg that you admire so."

"Well clearly that was a very wise man," I said as I boldly reached into the water to take hold of her leg in my hand again.

I moved without thinking, and hitched her calf around my back so I could run my hand along her thigh once more. What I didn't account for was her balance being compromised, and when she fell into me her body, that was so open to me by the way I was holding her, crashed into mine. I shuddered at the feeling of her softness pressing against me.

"Severus," she groaned pushing further in to me as she tightened her leg around me pulling me as close as she could. "I don't really want to swim."

"Neither do I," I admitted, taking her head in my hand with the hand that wasn't holding her thigh, and bringing her lips to mine.

I kissed her fiercely, unable to silence the moan that feel from my lips when she hopped up bringing her other leg out of the water to wrap herself tightly around me. I moved us a little deeper into the water, so Hermione would not be exposed should someone happen upon us, but then I focused on kissing her senseless.

She was moving her hands about, almost frantically, seemingly in a rush to touch every part of me that she could reach. I could hardly focus on kissing her with her hands moving like that, but I tangled my hands up in her wet messy hair and tried to ground myself.

"Touch me too," she panted into my ear as she balled my hair up in her fist. "Please, before I explode."

"If I allow myself to start touching you, I mean really touching you," I groaned as I lay my head in the crook of her shoulder. "I won't stop. And if I don't stop touching you, we won't be able to go back to the castle and get ready for the dance were required to attend in a few hours."

"Sometimes," she said as she put a hand on either side of my face and looked into my eyes with a smile in hers. "I really hate you."

"Yes, at the moment I hate myself a bit too," I grumbled as I unwound my fingers from her hair. "Perhaps we could both stop hating me after the ball this evening."

"Mmmm, perhaps," she breathed before giving me one last peck on the lips. "Though for now I suppose I should get ready."

She swam away from me, and I stood in the lake, watching her wrap up in her robes and make her way back to the castle. I watched until I could no longer see her, and then I waited until my body was acting in accordance with my plans to get out of the water and gather my own clothes. I focused my mind on the very unexciting article about wand work in charm casting I had read in a periodical a few weeks ago until the last of my excitement had faded, and I could walk out of the water without embarrassment.

I pulled on my robes, and gather the rest of my clothes. I hurried back to the castle, and down to the dungeon where I could grab a shower and find something a bit more suitable for the ball. I washed all of the lake water from my body, and dressed in a pair of black slacks and a cream colored sweater. I padded around bedroom in stocking feet chuckling at my outfit that was already more colorful than anything I had worn out in public in more than a decade, and I contemplated if I should wear a standard black dress robe over it or if I should pull out the one forest green pair I owned and wear them instead. I still hadn't decided when I heard the clicking of heels on the stone floor in my sitting room.

"Severus?" called the voice of the woman I would follow anywhere, and just like that the robes disappeared from my mind and I abandoned my bedroom

I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her standing by the cream settee that she had left bloody and prints on once a long time ago. She was a vision in a black dress that clung to all the right places, and left just enough flesh exposed to make my mouth actually water. She was wearing black stilettos that made her gorgeous legs even more appetizing, but somehow it was the black ribbon that she had wrapped around her throat and allowed to dangle toward the top of her dress that held my attention. It was a testament to her simple beauty that a plain black ribbon seemed like he finest jewelry when it lay against her flesh. And it was a subtle reminder of her grounded nature. She was not a girl who needed fancy jewelry, she saw the beauty of a plain black ribbon.

"I love your necklace," I told her as I leaned against the door frame watching her.

"I made it myself," she said, running her fingers over the ribbon with a smile. "I stole the ribbon out of an ingredient pouch from my potion supplies."

"Resourceful," I chuckled. "You look very nice love."

"I love it when you call me love," she said as she took a seat on the settee. "And thank you."

I crossed over to her, and took up residence on the floor in front of her. She opened her thighs in invitation and I slid into the space, my back touching the couch and my head resting against her leg. It was a moment of absolute peace, and I would have much rather forgone the dance entirely and just stayed right here in my quarters with Hermione's fingers running through my hair. But we were the stars of this little party, so we unfortunately had to attend it. But for just a little while, I wanted to pretend that we had nowhere else to be.

"You should probably put shoes on," Hermione said after a long time, patting me on the shoulder and bringing me out of my reverie.

"If I put my shoes on that means I am going to this thing," I sighed, but I picked myself up off the floor anyway. "So robes, what do you think, black or green."

"Oh definitely green," she smiled, leaning back in her seat as she crossed her legs and watched me backing away from her. "I love the color green."

-`-'-

The time came, and I found myself dressed in green robes, wearing my nicest black loafers, with the most beautiful witch in the world on my arm as I made my way into the great hall where there were far too many cameras and people. I fought the urge to turn on my heel and head in the other direction. I kept a stiff upper lip and walked into the thick of it attempting to keep Hermione angled between the cameras and myself. She did the smiling routine much better than I, and her entire getup was camera ready tonight.

We had to get through the obligatory interviews, and pictures, shaking hands with all sorts of people. For the most part it wasn't so bad, but the short time we were detained by Rita Skeeter was absolutely painful. She had several questions about birthdates and timelines, and I was very near the point of throttling her when Hermione intervened.

"You raise some interesting points," she said smoothly. "Though when I think about our relationship, I believe it boils down to the ability to connect on a mature level. Perhaps Severus is a little older than me, but I am also older than my peers, so it creates an unprecedented situation that we figure out how to maneuver each day."

Rita had been unable to find a pithy response to that, and had left us be. When we finally got past the reporters we had to suffer through pleasantries with Cornelius Fudge and several other ministry officials that I would most likely never remember the names of. We had to be as cordial as humanly possible to them as they held the result of Hermione's upcoming trial in their hands. A trial which they informed us was slated to take place bright and early Monday morning.

Then finally, finally we were free of the nonsense and able to enjoy one another's company. I pulled her out on to the dance floor, holding her close to my body as I swung us around to the dance floor to the slow music while I did my best to tune out everyone else in the great hall. I would never admit it to anyone, even Hermione, but I actually enjoyed dancing. I liked the feeling of sliding through space in time with the beat of or the strum of a stringed instrument.

Because I enjoyed dancing I hardly noticed that an hour had passed. I was surprised when Hermione drug me off of the dance floor and picked a random table for us without taking a seat. She shifted from one foot to the other awkwardly in front of me, and I wonder if she trying to dance for me or if there was something wrong with her.

"This is the opposite of romantic," she sighed. "But I really need to use the restroom. So I will be back in a jiffy."

-`-'-

-`-'-

 **HPOV**

I walked away from Severus, trying to walk as if my feet were not already killing me. I wished that I hadn't worn them, they were awful shoes honestly, but they looked nice with the dress so I had worn them. I was regretting that now as I fought not to limp my way to the bathroom.

I walked out of the great hall and made a left to head to the bathroom. The entrance hall was essentially deserted, save for a wizard maybe 100 feet ahead of me who was leaning casually against the wall, possibly checking his watch. I didn't pay him much attention, and I was contemplating taking my shoes off for a moment or two while I was in the restroom.

Maybe that was why I didn't see it coming. One minute I was turning the corner into the women's restroom and the next it felt like my hairs was being ripped out of my head, and there was a wand pressing into my wind pipe. I realized I had made an egregious error by leaving my wand behind in Gryffindor tower to attend the dance. It was a simple social even, I had expected dancing, food, and polite conversation, but nothing more.

"Make a sound and I will kill you on the spot," a man's voice hissed in my ear, and the familiar sound of it tugged at the back of my mind.

I had heard this voice before. It was someone I knew, remotely at least. I nodded my head to assure him that I would not make a sound, trying to keep him from harming me.

"We are going to walk casually out of the castle," the man said as he began to steer me back away from the bathroom. "Not so much as a peep out of you."

He wrapped his arm around my waist holding me tightly against him, but he released my hair. We walked forward, and I prayed silently in my head that someone, anyone, would come out and see this. I prayed that someone would be able to stop this.

There was no one in the entrance hall, but the doors to the great hall stood open. I looked in as we passed, my eyes searching for any sign of Severus. I caught sight of him as the man holding me started to turn toward the doors leading out on to the ground. I tried to convey to him with just my eyes that something was wrong, but my captor turned me away before I saw if Severus had understood.

He shuffled me up to the double doors and I took a risk stamping my heal down on his foot and causing him to hesitate as he absorbed the pain in his foot. He leaned forward momentarily, gathering himself, and while he was bent over, forcing me to bend with him, his hair fell forward. When his long silvery blonde hair swept over my shoulder I knew who was trying to abduct me.

He grabbed my hair once more, lunging forward to smash me against the door. I saw stars when my face collided with wood, and then we seemed to be moving so quickly. In strange flashes I saw the door open, then I saw grass moving beneath out feet, and then I saw the Hogwarts gates. Somewhere in the back of my mind the word concussion flapped about like a trapped bird, and then I was being pressed in on all sides. There was a terrible pressure, and then I simply closed my eyes and let the world drift away.

-`-'-

Suddenly I snapped awake, my mind clear once more, and I saw Lucius Malfoy standing over me with his wand pointed at me. I was pretty sure he had just used a reviving charm on me, but I didn't understand why. He had a crazy look in his eye as he towered over me.

"I am going to make you pay for what you did Mudblood."he growled at me. "You can't just insert yourself into a timeline and erase the existence of a great wizard. I will erase your existence!"

"What?" I started to say, but I barely got the word out of my mouth before he cast a spell and I was suddenly in terrible pain. It was blinding white hot pain that burned through me.

I thought he was using the cruciatus curse on me, but when the spell let up and I was able to open my eyes again, I saw my blood flowing on the floor beneath me. I didn't know what curse he had used on me, but it was awful and not something I ever wished to experience again.

"Hurts doesn't it?" he whispered in my ear, and I realized he was crouching over me; when had that happened. "How does it feel to know that the man you love, the man you think you know, is the same man that invented the spell I just used on you?"

I bit my lip to keep from responding. I would not give him the satisfaction of knowing if he got under my skin. I refused to think about the origin of the spell, or even what spell it was. I stared up at the ceiling, praying that Severus had seen me, that he was coming.

"You will not ignore me," he shouted, and again blinding pain.

I writhed in the pool of my blood on the floor, and this time I was certain he was using the cruciatus curse. It had to be, my very bones were burning. I could not prevent the tears from coming, but I would not beg.

"Yes, cry you little witch," he panted, sounding as if he were gaining some sick pleasure from all of this. "Cry like your mother did when I made her watch me kill your father."

"What?" I gasped, to shocked by his words to pretend I had not heard him.

"Oh I have your attention now do I?" he shouted. "Yes, a present for the conquering war hero. I tortured and killed your parents before coming to find you. I might not be able to bring the Dark Lord back yet, but I will rid the world of his attacker tonight."

He didn't wait for a response from me. He slashed his wand through the air and I saw a rope of purple fire before my chest erupted in indescribable pain. I didn't know this spell either, but I knew on an instinctual level that it was dark magic. Some sort of dark fire was burning through my entire body, and if I didn't know better I would say it had cut open my flesh again. It was hard to tell through the pain, but I was fairly sure I was bleeding from new wounds.

"My p-parents never did anything to you," I cried, fighting to contain the shudders that were starting to roll through my body. "They were innocent."

He didn't answer me, he just pointed his wand at me again, he cast yet another nonverbal spell and my body convulsed with the wide spread pain that I was quickly coming to recognize as the unforgiveable curse. I tried not to move, knowing that movement caused my blood to pour out of my body more rapidly but it hurt so badly.

"Severus," I cried out when the pain receded infinitesimally, and my tears came more quickly.

"Shut up witch," Lucius Malfoy bellowed at me as he fisted his hand fisted in my hair again.

In his rage he seemed to forget he was a wizard. He began bashing my head against the hard floor beneath me, and the combination of the impact, and the sensation that the wounds on my chest were tearing further open with each jerking motion created a pain that I could not with stand, a pain that I could not override with bravery.

"Please," I begged, but it didn't seem to come out clearly, I wasn't sure it was words. "Please, Severus… help me."

"Shut up wi—" his shout cut off with a keening sound that announced his own pain.

I tried to force my eyes back open, to see where he had gone, what had happened, but they would not budge. I lay there feeling as if my entire body was on fire, and I wondered if I had lost my mind. Was I still in the throes of the cruciatus curse again?

Through it all, I thought I smelled him. I could swear that his cologne was hanging over me, comforting me in my final moments, but still I could not drag my eyes open to see if he was truly there.

"Love," I heard his pained voice in my ear, and even though I was in terrible pain I breathed a shaky sigh of relief, he would be with me for the end. "Hold on, just hold on, please hold on."

He sounded scared. I wished that the last thing I could hear from him would be a laugh, but I would take what I could get. I held onto thoughts of Severus as consciousness drifted away from me.

-`-'-

 **SPOV**

I had been sitting at the table, waiting for her to return from the bathroom, I had no worries on my mind. But then suddenly I saw her in the doorway. She was in the arms of another man, and her eyes were bugging out of her head. Her posture was rigid, and it screamed that there was something wrong. I was up and moving toward her before I even registered that the man who held her close to him was Lucius Malfoy.

My stomach dropped as I started fighting my way through the crowd that stood between the door and me. In the time it took for me to get out of the great hall I saw him smash her face into the heavy wooden door and drag her now limp body out of the castle. The doors leading outside swung shut before I made it into the entrance hall and I knew no matter how fit I was, that he would make it to the edge of the grounds before I could catch him.

I threw myself forward, as fast as I could move, out of the castle, and after the man that was fleeing with my very life in his arms. I drew my wand to curse him, but he reached the gate first, turning on the spot mid stride and disappearing from sight. I sprinted after him, trying to decide where he would have taken her on the fly. My left foot hit ground that would allow me to apparate and I made a snap decision, turning through my stride and disappearing before my right foot touched the ground again.

I guessed. I went out on a limb and assumed that he would take her to his house, the former headquarters, and I was wrong. I burst into the Malfoy home, and I knew instantly that he was not there. He would be torturing her, and the house was silent, they weren't there. I wracked my brain, trying to understand what his motivations might be at a moment like this, and my heart sunk like a stone when I realized what he would have done.

I turned once more disappearing from the Malfoy Manor and reappearing in front of the muggle home of Hermione's Granger's childhood. Before I even opened the door, I knew they were there. I could here her screams through the walls. I knocked the door off its hinges as I flew into the house, and her words as she writhed in her own blood, mere feet from her murdered parents would haunt me for the rest of my life.

"Severus," she panted through the pains. "Please, Severus… help me."

Her eyes were swollen shut, most likely from the massive injury she was still sustaining as Lucius bashed her head against the floor. She didn't know I was there, but she was begging for me anyway. I saw red as I threw the man that I had once considered a friend off the love of my life. I retained enough control to stun him rather than killing him, but it was a close call.

"Love," I breathed, pulling her up out of the pool of blood and holding her to my chest. "Hold on, just hold on, please hold on."

I didn't even know what I was saying anymore. I felt her body go limp in my arms and all I could think about was how I couldn't handle this. I couldn't do this. She couldn't leave me. I stood, holding her tightly too me, and I turned on the spot bringing us both back to Hogwarts. My brain screamed at me over and over again, find Albus it said.

I ran across the grounds with her limp, possibly dead, body in my arms, and for the first time since I had been forced to relive the murder of Lily I cried uncontrollably. I cried as I mounted the steps, and as I ran into the Victory Ball with blood dripping off of me.

Things seemed to happen in warp speed after that. She was taken from me, and I only managed to refrain from collapsing on the floor in hysterics because Albus drug me to the hospital wing with him. In the span of one unending minute I saw them fight for her life. I saw them miraculously win that fight. I held her tightly to me as she slept while a ministry official told me that the culprit had been detained. I held her still as I was informed that her trail had been held in abstention and she had been found entirely innocent of foul play. I held her tight as I waited for her to wake up so I could tell her that she could come back to Hogwarts, but that she would do so as an orphan that was riddled with scars created by dark magic that may never heal.

* * *

 **Ch8:Songs for this chapter: Machines by Biffy Clyro and Wolf Creek by Francois Tetaz**

 **a/n:So, I couldn't help it, there is an homage to Grey's Anatomy in this chapter. For the fans of the show, enjoy, for the haters, I apologize, it won't extend beyond this chapter.**

 **SPOV**

I kept waiting at her bedside but she's wasn't waking up. Her wounds appeared to have all been healed, her torso no longer bled, but she did not wake up. I tried to enervate her, but the most I ever accomplished was getting her eyelids to flutter. There was something wrong, seriously wrong, and Poppy had no hope of fixing it.

I took charge of Hermione medically, and had her moved to St. Mungos. I had hope, a strange feeling after the life I had lived, my body only continued to function because of the solemn hope that she would come out of this. The hope that the fact that she was still alive meant she wouldn't die.

St. Mungos healers dashed my hopes. They ran tests, the poured potions, but nothing came of it. They could not wake her. They were certain she would never wake again. I sat blindly at her bedside for days, unable to process the idea that the woman who had put my life together, who I had fallen completely in love with, wasn't really hear with me. I sat there with her, like I was sitting Shiva, until the seemingly harmless thought, that Hermione was muggle born flitted through my mind.

It sat there for a while, and I unable to understand where that thought had even come from. I didn't understand where it came from, but I couldn't seem to push it away. It was in my mind when I held her hand, and when I kissed her forehead begging her to wake up. It was there when I continued to question her doctors, and when I laid beside her in the bed attempting to get some semblance of sleep. It was there as constantly and the knowledge that she still had not awoken.

"Why aren't you doing anything," I snapped at a healer late in the night when she had been unconscious for a week.

"Sir we don't know what else to do," she said quietly, timidly as if she thought I might hit her. "We've exhausted all of our medical options."

I didn't respond to her. I just let her walk away while I thought about that. All of our medical options. All of our medical options. All of our medical options. All of our medical options. All of our medical options. That was it wasn't it? OUR medical options. Hermione was a muggle born, and she came from a background that had an entirely different set of options.

"Healer Jones," I called as I stood from the bedside.

At first I did not see her coming back. I did not hear her approaching.

"Healer Jones," I called with more volume and less patience.

"Yes Mr. Snape?" the young witch said as she hustled back into the room.

"I wish to remove Miss Granger from your care," I said.

"I'm sorry sir?" she asked, her brows climbing in confusion.

"I said that I wish to remove her from your care," I repeated.

"You want her on a different ward?" she asked, and I wondered about her intelligence.

"No I wish to remove her from this hospital," I snapped at her, feeling the cranky potions master rise up once more.

"Sir, she is very sick," the girl stuttered. "Taking her away, it could end… badly."

"You have already explained that we have exhausted all medical options," I said slowly, like I was speaking to a first year. "I will be seeking a second opinion. Bring the paperwork for her discharge."

"Yes sir," she said before scurrying off.

"Just hold on Hermione," I said quietly brushing my hand over her hair. "We will find and answer."

I signed on all the dotted lines, and I gingerly lifted Hermione out of her sick bed and carried her out of the wizarding hospital. It would have been faster to apparate to the muggle hospital, but I was worried about jostling her too much, or somehow damaging her further. So I turned her head into my shoulder so it might look like she was only sleeping, and I walked out onto the sidewalk and hailed a cab.

I held her gingerly with one arm as I opened the car door and slid inside. I barely spared a glance at the cab driver while I told him our destination, and simply focus on holding her close so she would not be affected by the momentum of the car. She was wrapped in a plain white gown and her hair was tangled and lank, but she still looked as beautiful to me as she had in her black dress. It hurt my heart to think that she may not be that girl again, she may not open her eyes ever again, let along dress us or find something as simple as a potion bag string worthy enough to grace the skin of her neck.

It was with visions of her smiling face as we moved about the dance floor that I paid the cabbie and walked Hermione into through the sliding glass doors of the hospital. There was a moment, when no one had seen us yet, that the waiting room was quiet and none of the staff moving about was paying attention to anything. And then a nurse in salmon colored scrubs saw me, and the staff jumped into action hurried over to us calling over her shoulder for a doctor.

"I have removed her from the care of an undereducated medical staff," I explained as I lowered her gently onto the rolling that seemed to be produced from nowhere. "She has been unconscious for nine days, and they have not been able to do anything other than make her comfortable."

A doctor jumped to work while the nurse was talking. I couldn't even focus on what the girl said as the man poked and prodded Hermione while they started moving her away. I followed after them, the tiny nurse trying to step into my way, trying to stop me from coming, but I brushed her away is if she were made of less than air. If I had to hex someone to get my point across so be it, but I was staying with her for every second of this.

I followed them into the small, clinical, sterile room they took her in to, and stayed back against the wall watching them work. I couldn't understand anything they were doing, but I tried as hard as I could to hold onto the trusting hope I knew Hermione would have in these doctors. I tried to just hold on, while I watched them attach wires and tubes to her. They worked quickly, and in a manner of moments she transformed from a girl who could have been sleeping, to something that looked hardly human, mostly robot actually. Looking at her withal of those things attached to her, I wondered if these doctors were actually the barbarians Ronald Weasley said they were.

I thought they were done when they had her hooked up to some machine that beeped slowly and continuously, and jabbed a needle into her flesh that seemed to be pumping water or at least a clear liquid into her as well as what had to be blood. That was barbaric actually, using a needle to push the blood of another person into a person's body. What was that? But then they started torturing her and I thought I might kill them with my bare hands.

They ran an instrument with sharp points over her limbs, looking for some sort of response from her. And then knuckled her chest until she moved for the first time in days. I was torn between rage at their behavior, and shock that her back had arched up off the bed. Clearly she had felt that. Some part of her mind and body was still able to feel. I gasped in shock, and found my breath coming in shallower gusts as I watched her body settle back in and stop moving once more.

The doctors were saying it was a good sign, that she was demonstrating brain activity. They used a lot of terms that I didn't understand, but I understood that. Her brain, somewhere under whatever was keeping her unconscious, was still working. They started hooking a series of tiny white objects, most likely sensors of some sort, all over her head. They dotted her forehead, and nestled into her hair. They created a sort of net that was finished off with on one each cheek, and then they turned on the machine they were attached too.

I didn't know what this new monitor was for, but it seemed to be taking some sort reading. There were lines on it, and moved across the screen making tiny waves. The waves were probably a millimeter or two in height, barely even visible on the monitor. I didn't know what they meant, but I could tell from the doctors' reactions that those ten lines should have had more waves in them.

"What is that machine recording?" I asked, and to my surprise one line in the middle surged with movement, the waves growing and then receding when I stopped speaking.

"Measuring brain activity," the doctor closest to me explained. "It's showing very little activity, but the spike when you spoke shows that she can hear you, and that line at the bottom, with the waves oscillating between small and large, well if I am not mistaken, those mean she's dreaming."

"So what does it all mean?" I asked him pointedly, ignoring my simultaneous question of what she was dreaming about. "Can you wake her up?"

"We need to get a CT scan to better access what is causing the lowered functioning," he explained. "But I have hope, due to that reactivity we saw just moments ago, that we will be able to wake her."

And without further ado they started rolling her bed, with all of the machines that were now attached to her out of the room. I tried to follow again, but this time a male who was larger than me restrained me. When he felt that I was growing belligerent he explained to me that the room they were taking her too would have radiation in it and no one could accompany her in, but she would be right back. I stood in her room, waiting for her return, trying to decipher what exactly radiation was. It was not a muggle object I was familiar with. For that matter I didn't know what a CT was. I was out of my depth. So I did the only thing that was left to me, I went over to the chair in her room, and I took a seat. Waiting for her to be brought back, hopefully awake this time.

It took an excruciatingly long time for them to come back with her, and she was still unconscious when they did so. They had detached the net of white wires from her head, but they looked grim. When her bed was rolled in to place, one of the doctors put black and white images in front of a light to explain them to me.

"Here at the base of her skull there is a pool of blood," he said as he indicated the area he was talking about. "And here in the front as well."

"Between that, and the swelling, its creating intense intracranial pressure," the other doctor interjected. "If we alleviate the pressure and the blood, she should come out of the coma."

"What exactly happened? If you don't mind us asking." The first doctor said. "These scans would normally indicate a broken nose as well as substantial damage to the base of the skull."

"Perhaps the other doctors managed to do something right," I suggested in my most convincing voice. "They obviously attempted to repair the damage sustained by her serious head injury."

"How did she sustain the injury sir?" the second doctor asked, and I felt my blood boil when I realized he was questioning me.

"She was assaulted during a home invasion," I answered, my stomach rolling when I realized how similar that sounded to what my father had said so many years ago.

"Very well," the doctor said, and I couldn't tell without entering his mind if he believed me. "Surgery will be needed to repair the bleed and lower the swelling. We will need you to sign some paperwork."

"You're going to cut into her brain?" I asked, appalled by the very idea. "Is that safe?"

"There is a risk in any surgery," the third doctor, who had been observing up until this point, said. "But I am one of the best, I can perform this surgery with minimal risk."

"Who are you?" I snapped at him, my stress rapidly dwindling my ability to control my emotions.

"I'm doctor Shepard, the head of neurology here," he said, moving so he was standing directly in front of me.

"Alright, if you think it will work," I said quietly, nodding in his direction. "I'll sign the papers."

I falsified a lot of information while I filled out the forms that they gave me. There were a lot of forms, and by the time I had finished with all of them they had prepped Hermione for her surgery. I wasn't looking forward to having to explain all of this to her when she woke up, because one of the steps they took for preparation was to shave off all of her hair. I had never seen her get so much as a hair cut, and now all of her hair was gone.

They wheeled her away, and I was left sitting and waiting once more. I tried to stay calm, to keep my emotions in check, but my emotions ran the gamut during the four hours I waited for her to return. After four hours she did come back though. Her head was wrapped up in a turban of bandages, and now in addition to all of the other tubes that were attached to her, there was one coming out of her mouth that was attached to a machine that pumped rhythmically. I thought it might be breathing for her. Did she need that? Had the surgery made things worse?

"She will be coming out of anesthesia soon," a nurse explained to me while she checked machines and made notes on a clipboard. "And then we should be able to take the breathing tube out."

"Why is that in there?" I asked, surprised by the rough quality my voice had taken. "She was breathing fine on her own before you took her away."

"It was a safety precaution in the operating room," she explained, her face softening. "The measures they have to take to slow the blood flow and numb the body during surgery adversely effects the effectiveness of the lungs. But as she comes out of anesthesia she should start breathing again on her own."

I nodded, and moved my chair to her bedside, resigned to wait some more. There were forty minutes filled with the beeping of one monitor, and the pumping of the other machine, but then Hermione made the first noise she had made in over a week. She gagged. She gagged, and the nurse came running. I stood up, leaning over her, and I saw with shock and joy that in addition to the gagging, her eyes had opened. Those warm brown orbs were looking at me, and even though they looked panicked and confused, I was grateful to see them.

"I'm going to count three, and then I want you to blow out," the nurse explained as Dr. Sheppard joined us in the room. "One, two, three."

Hermione pushed air out, and the nurse pulled up taking the tube completely out of her. I was shocked to see how long it was. I tried not to picture how far into her body it had gone. Hermione kept coughing and gagging, but her limbs were moving and her eyes were open and I could have sung with relief.

"Miss Granger, how are you feeling?" Dr. Sheppard asked as he moved in close to her, directing a light into her eyes.

I saw her eyes tracking the light and took that as a good sign. There was a strange grunting sound, and I looked at Hermione's mouth surprised to see it had come from her.

"It's okay, that can happen sometimes," he told her. "Just try again."

She made a gurgly grunting sound, but no words came out, and I began to worry.

"What's wrong?" I asked, my eyes flashing to man who had cut her head open.

"It looks like aphasia," he explained, his eyes going back and forth between Hermione and myself. "Her pupils have return to equal size, and they are reacting to light. Everything besides the speech seems to be in working order, so we just need to do another CT and check for possible re-bleed, or perhaps some swelling that we missed."

Hermione made a panicked throaty sound, and I felt certain I knew what she wanted to do.

"They had to operate on your brain to alleviate pressure and remove pooled blood," I explained to her. "But they might have missed something, which is causing the inability to speak."

She hummed at me, and it was probably the most contented sound she could must at a time like this.

"If you would just lay back," Dr. Sheppard directed. "We'll take you back up for another scan and see what we have going on up there."

He tapped her head and I thought about punching him. She didn't wince, so I let it slide, but I would be watching him more closely. It was bad enough he was slicing into her head like some insane butcher, he didn't need to add any additional pain in anyway.

I sat with my angry thoughts at the doctor while they scanned her brain again. The time seemed even longer knowing that she was awake and I was missing out on precious time to talk to her, or even just look into her eyes. When had I become this guy? The guy so incredibly wrapped up in a woman that he couldn't function without her. Who was I kidding, that was the guy I had always been.

They finally brought her back, and she was thankfully still awake. They rolled her bed back into its place, and this time they didn't have any pictures to put up in front of the light. They made sure that she was comfortable, and then turned to explain it to us.

"There's a small hematoma inside the brain matter," he explained before pointing to the base of his own head. "Its at the base of the skull, down on the left side here. We think it might resolve itself overtime, so we want to wait through the night, and reevaluate if another surgery is necessary in the morning."

Hermione whimpered, and I knew instinctually that the idea of an entire night being unable to communicate was disconcerting to her. I reached out and took her hand in mine, giving it a squeeze, trying to reassure her. She didn't squeeze back and it wasn't sure if it was due to weakness or tiredness, or if she didn't want to squeeze my hand.

"On the off chance that we do have to operate soon, we can't give you any food," he continued. "But the nurse will hook up a nutrient drip, and we can get you some ice chips if you like."

She nodded her head ever so subtly, her eyes squinting in acute pain, and he gave her a smile and a nod, and headed off assumedly to get them for her. I watched the nurse attach another bag to the tube that was attached to her arm, and I settled in beside her. Now that she was awake I wanted to tell her everything that had happened. I would have to wait to hear the parts that only she knew about, but could patient so long as she was ok. And right now she was awake, and breathing, and very clearly alive. I allowed myself to take a relieved breath for the first time in days.

* * *

 **Ch9: Songs for this chapter: Dying Song by Him and For Me It's You by Train**

 **HPOV**

The night was patchy at best. Time was odd, one second I was having a tube pulled out of my throat and discovering that the words inside my mind would not, or could not come out of my mouth. Then the next minute I was waking with Severus in the middle of telling me a story. I was sure that he had been telling me that story for a while, but I didn't remember hearing the rest of it. I tried to apologize, but I just produced a stuttering gurgle once more.

He hesitated in story, reaching out to comfort me, and I startled the both of us by cringing away from him. He looked hurt, and I felt confused. Logically this was Severus and I should have loved his comforting touch, but emotionally this was the creator of the spell that tortured me. He hadn't cast it, but without his invention I would not have been writhing in a pool of my own blood would I?

No sooner had I banished that though it seemed, I was bombarded with doctors and nurses once more. They were poking me, prodding me, shining lights in my eyes, talking about read outs and charts, and a lot of things that I didn't understand. The doctor from before asked me to speak, and I tried to focus on him, tried to do what he was telling me.

"Ow-nghu-ch," I managed to grunt out with concentration.

"Ouch?" he asked me, his eyes lighting up like it was the best word he had ever heard in the world.

I nodded, trying to suppress the grimace at how painful moving my head was at the moment.

"That's good," he told me, looking for a second at Severus and then back at me. "That means your body is absorbing the blood. You won't need another surgery."

After that he seemed to be talking more to Severus than to me, so I let my attention wander. The moment bled into another one, and suddenly it was morning and I was waking up for a second time. The sun was filtering through the window on to my face. I was warm and comfortable, and when I titled my head forward to see if I was alone my head didn't hurt. I reached up to touch it and felt that it was covered in bandages. I felt down my neck, and realized that I didn't have any hair. Did I miss Severus telling me that I was bald?

"M-my hair?" I asked, turning my head to the side to see Severus rousing from a nap at my bedside.

"You spoke," he sighed, his face lightening as a smile washed away the worry lines. "You can speak again."

"They shaved my hair?" I asked, embarrassed by the tears that stung my eyes at the thought of what I must look like.

"Yes, they did," he said quietly, reaching out with a tentative hand to clasp mine, and I managed to barely flinch this time. "But I promise you are as beautiful as ever."

"You brought me to a muggle hospital?" I questioned, squeezing his fingers for comfort.

"Yes, you weren't waking up," he said with the tiniest shudder. "Poppy couldn't do anything, the healers at St. Mungos couldn't do anything, and all I could think of was that scar on your abdomen and how muggles doctors had healed you. So I took a risk."

"Well it looks like it paid off," I said with a light chuckle. "How long was I… not awake?"

"Nine very long days," he sighed, and he laid his head down on the bed beside me.

I reached out with my hand that wasn't wrapped up in his and I ran my fingers through his hair. His whole body screamed that he was exhausted, and even though my instinct was screaming to hide from him, my heart was crying out to comfort him. I was so confused, and underneath all of that I was so hurt. I wanted my parents. I wanted to go back to fix all of this.

"Time turner," I said aloud and his head jerked up from the bed. "I need the time turner back."

"Hermione," he groaned and it was one of the most painful sounds I had ever heard. "The trial settled that you wouldn't be charged with a crime, and that you could return to school pending your placement test, but you are banned from ever meddling with time again. They will never allow you to use time turner again, whether or not you are responsible for preventing a future return of the Dark Lord."

"You get one then," I said petulantly. "You get the time turner, and we will go back."

"I am banned as well," he said quietly. "They may not have made it public knowledge, but they have their suspicions that you were not the one to develop the spells."

"Severus," I cried losing my battle with tears. "I can't just leave it like this. I have to save my parents."

"I know it hurts right now—"

"No! You just! No!" I shouted at him, my heart rate climbing, my lungs struggling for air. "I can't, I can't just let them be dead! No!"

"Miss Granger?" a nurse called, as she made her way over to look at one of the monitors I was hooked up to. "Is everything alright? Are you in pain?"

I realized that the monitor that was beeping, and was obviously connected to my heart somehow, was racing due to my emotional reaction.

"No, I'm fine," I breathed quietly, trying to bring myself back under control. "Everything is fine."

She checked on my other monitors, and then she did something to the bag of clear fluids that was pumping into my arm, and my eyes started to droop. I felt myself drifting off to sleep, and whatever had me panicking didn't seem to matter anymore.

-`-'-

When I woke again Severus seemed angry. He was pacing about at the foot of my bed, clearly agitated, but when he saw that my eyes were open again, he hurried up to my side, closing his hands on either side of my face looking into my eyes like he wasn't quite sure I was awake or not.

"I want to take you out of here this instant," he said vehemently. "The behavior of that woman. It was barbaric. She may as well have hit you with a stunner, simply for daring to be upset about something. It was wrong. I don't want you here."

"Is it even safe for me to move," I sighed, closing my hands over his on my face. "I just had brain surgery."

"We can heal the wounds they left, and I can monitor you to make sure you are healing completely," he explained as he rubbed his finger over my temple. "But I can't watch that again. I can't watch them put you under like that again Hermione."

I could see him trying to reel in his emotions, trying to force the calm façade he always hid behind back into place, but he was panicking. He was honestly afraid that these doctors were going to hurt me. As much as the idea of walking out of a hospital mere hours after a brain surgery, I wanted to make his fear go away. And as afraid of everything as I felt right now, I was more worried about him. Even when I hid away with him when his father was attacking his mother, or snuck him out to keep him from being attacked by his father, he hadn't seemed this rattled. He hadn't been this scared.

"Ok," I said quietly, pulling his head down to my chest, trying to comfort him anyway I could. "Ok, we'll go home. You go tell the doctor."

He swept out of the room, and I pulled myself up off the pillows, straining to sit up and gather my wits about me. I was exhausted, and my body protested movement, let alone holding me upright, but Severus was right it was time to go. The muggle world was not something I was a part of anymore. My last tie to it had been violently severed by Lucius Malfoy. He had unscrupulously slain my one tie to a world other than this one. I couldn't even begin to process something like that.

Severus came back with Dr. Sheppard in tow, and it was explained to me that I was leaving Against Medical Orders. I had to sign papers to the effect that I would not sue the hospital if my health took a turn for the worse, or that my family would not sue if I were to die because I chose to refuse their medical treatment. I was torn between an indifference to their medical treatment, and a sadness over my lack of family. I sighed all of their papers, and accepted the pain medication prescription they offered to aid my recovery. I might be the type to put on a strong and brave front, but even I wasn't about to pretend that having someone remove part of my skull and cut into my brain was not painful.

When all of the papers were signed and I was released from their care a nurse showed up with a wheelchair. I remembered seeing on a television show once that it was standard procedure to wheel a patient out, and it was almost funny to realize that it was a real thing. I was halfway into a polite refusal when my left leg refused to bear weight and I realized that I actually needed that chair. I bit my lip and allowed the small girl in salmon scrubs to help me into the chair. I was grateful that not only did she not ask that I return the blue hospital gown they had dressed me in, but she helped me wrap up in a white robe before lowering me into the chair. They were all being so nice and helpful that I wondered if they had ever had a patient sign out against medical advice before. Maybe they were worried. If it weren't for the statute of secrecy I would put their mind at easy and let them know that I was going back to the care of a medical professional.

Severus produced a green silk scarf from his pocket and helped me to wrap it over my bandaged head. I offered him a smile at his kindness, and then allowed the nurse to wheel me out of the room. I could hear the doctor speaking to Severus about possible issues that could arise with the leg weakness, but when I heard that Severus seemed just as knowledgeable about how to work the leg back into a normal condition, I tuned them both out. I let my mind wander, and it went somewhere foggy and unfocused.

-`-'-

I didn't focus back in until I felt my weight shifting rhythmically. It took me a moment to realize that every other second my body was colliding gently with another. I opened my eyes and saw that I was encased of the arms of Severus, and he was walking briskly across the grounds of Hogwarts. His face was tight and tired, and in completely juxtaposition with the sunny grounds where birds were singing and the giant squid was lazing about on the surface of the lake.

"What day is it?" I asked him, my eyes trained on the pink tentacle that was dancing up toward the sky, like the squid was waving at the sun.

"July thirty-first," he answered breathily, and I realized he must be exerting himself carrying me over such a long distance.

"It's Harry's birthday," I mused, lifting my arms up to wrap around his neck, pulling up a bit hoping that would somehow help him. "I didn't get him anything."

"I'm sure he will forgive you for sending a late present," Severus answered, his brow softening. "What happened to you has been all over the news. Rita Skeeter even wrote an article about my apparently misguided decision to delivery you into muggle medical care."

"Maybe I should write her about that," I suggested "Clearly it was the right choice."

"I'm not so sure," he responded with a darkening face as he climbed the stairs leading into the castle. "They cut into your head, and left you with a leg that for all intents and purposes has been atrophied. It is going to take weeks of hard work for us to get it working again. Not to mention you speech is still slow and your w's are slurred."

"Thanks," I snapped at him, a surge of anger rolling through me before I regained control of my emotions. "At least I'm awake. I'm sorry that it's so upsetting that I'm a bald freak."

"Hermione," he breathed, his remorse clear without speaking. "That isn't how I meant it. I'm concerned that my choices may have led to permanent physical damage to your person. I'm afraid that I have crippled you."

"I'm not crippled," I sighed. "My speech is getting better and better, and like you said we can train my leg muscles to work again. And I hear that hair grows back, so after a while I won't looks like a creepy cancer patient either."

"You don't look creepy at all," he told me with a small smile as he pushed a heavy door open that turned out to be the doors to the hospital wing. "Your eyes seem even bigger and brighter now. And green is very becoming on you."

"Severus?" a female voice interrupted and I recognized it to be Madam Pomfrey. "You've brought her back? And she's awake. Hello Miss Granger."

"Hello Madam Pomfrey," I said, pushing a smile onto my features no matter how much my head might be starting to hurt again. "Do you have any potions to make my hair grow?"

"We could give you manegro potion I suppose," she suggested uneasily as she closed the gap between us and directed Severus to lower me into the bed near us. "But I don't think that's the best idea."

"That potion has no existing reversal," Severus interjected. "That is where the story of Rapunzel originates you know. It was a woman who gave up on cutting her hair every few hours to keep up with the effects of the potion."

"Maybe that's not such a good idea," I chuckled as Severus pulled the blanket over me and helped me to get comfortable in the bed. "I don't mean to be rude, but I am very tired. And I have a terrible headache."

"Here, take one of these," Severus offered, pulling a bottle of pills I imagined he had procured at the muggle hospital. "And then you should rest some more. Anything else can wait."

Madam Pomfrey produced a glass of water from somewhere unknown and I drank it down greedily, swallowing the pill that would give me respite from the growing sound of pounding blood behind my eyes. I sunk more deeply into the pillows and enjoyed the feeling of the pain slowly seeping out of me, and the sleep gradually took me once more.

-`-'-

Things got much harder after that. Severus worked with me every day, pushing my leg further and further. Retraining it to work was like learning to walk all over again. Madam Pomfrey had healed any lasting damage from the surgery, which cured the headache issue for me. I was able to stay awake for much longer periods of time, but I found myself wishing I could sleep more. It was hard to be awake trying to focus on walking. It was hard to listen to myself as I slowly regained the ability to speak like I once had. It was hard to push myself to walk across the hospital wing when simply standing up from the bed was exhausting.

And it was hard to open my eyes each day and remember that my parents were gone. Seeing the scars on my torso that wouldn't ever go away completely, and knowing that in a way they were the fault of the man who spent every day at my bedside. And as vain as it might be, it was hard to catch glimpses of my reflection in the mirror, my head wrapped in a silk scarf, knowing there was no hair under there. I couldn't bring myself to go without a scarf, I was too embarrassed by it all.

I worked each day with Severus, and each night I studied to take one of the most important tests I would take. I had taken my placement test shortly after returning to the castle, and my scores had indicated that I should be placed in the seventh year when school began again. But to be placed in that year, and successfully leave at the end of the year I needed to have OWL test results to show for it. So I studied hard, to make sure my owl results would reflect my intelligence appropriately.

I was tired. And I felt, cold. Distant perhaps. I couldn't connect with anyone. Harry and Ron wrote me often but I hardly wrote them back. Severus was with me essentially every waking moment but I struggled to talk to him about anything other than physical therapy or magically studies. I just wanted to sleep, or hide, or something. Maybe cry, but somehow I had no tears in me. I was just so tired.

* * *

 **Ch10: Songs for this chapter: Thistle and Weeds by Mumford and Sons and She Is by The Fray**

 **SPOV**

I was dedicated to bringing Hermione back from this, and medically it seemed she was. But mentally, mentally I could feel her growing away from me. Growing away from everyone honestly. I felt at a loss as to what the right action was. None of what I was doing seemed to be the right choice.

She was concerned about her appearance so I sought out the most beautiful silk scarves I could produce for her. I learned different tying styles so I could help her fasten them in any way she might choose on a given morning. I brewed multiple healing salves that she could apply to her torso. The scars were created by dark magic, so they would never go away fully, but we had managed to reduce their prominence with each application. I knew she hated to see them, and I did my best to stifle any reaction to them.

I could not picture a day when I would see those scars and not feel a terrible guilt within me. It didn't matter that Lucius had cast the spell. It didn't matter that he was now rotting away in Azkaban for his crimes. He had used my spell to gravely injure my love. The woman who had pieced me back together painstakingly, was now torn apart by my own magic. She might not say it aloud, but I saw it in her eyes every time I surprised her by moving too quickly or touching her unexpectedly. She was afraid of me, and the only thing that gave me hope that one day it might pass, was her reaction to her fear. When she flinched away from me, she worked to quickly school her features and appear welcoming toward me once more. That was the only sign I got that somewhere inside of her, she still loved me.

She was concerned about academics, so I helped her study for her placement tests, and when those had passed successfully I helped her to study for the impromptu OWL examination she would sit just before the start of term. There was a surprising amount of people on campus in the days leading up to the start of term, and I knew it made her more apprehensive about her examinations. She had become a person who did not show emotion easily through the summer, and because of this many of the people at the castle seemed to think her cold.

They didn't understand that she didn't care about their plotting to successfully re-launch the Triwizard tournament this year. She barely cared about her OWL tests, which was earth shaking. Her grief for her parents and even for herself was staggering. It was tangible in the air, but it did not impede her success. Just days before term was set to start we received her marks with the morning post, and she had done exceedingly well. She had received Outstanding in every subject except for Care of Magical creatures, in which she received an Exceeds Expectations. As a student who prided herself on her marks, I had been hopefully for a moment of celebration, but she had barely managed a smile at the results.

"What do I do with those marks," she had sighed while she forced her body through her morning yoga routine, which was much more difficult for her while her leg was still healing. "What career do I pursue?"

"You can pursue any career you want with them, they are very good." I told her quietly as I followed her movements, doing yoga with her. "Though I suppose you would have to work extra hard to pursue a career as a naturalist or a Care of magical Creatures professor."

"I don't know what to pursue," she sighed as she lowered herself into lotus and steadied her breathing.

"Well, what inspires you?" I asked her as I settled onto the floor as well. "What gets your heart pumping?"

"Nothing," she said in a barely audible voice, her eyes closed, her hands limp in her lap

In that moment I had to fight the urge to scream, or smash something. She was so broken right now, and I didn't know what to do.

"You have shown an aptitude for several subjects, you really have your pick of what you want," I said calmly after gathering myself once more. "Poppy is nearing retirement, you could study to replace her as a healer here at the school. Or you could use you innate ability to memorize everything you read to learn the finer points of wizarding law and pursue a career in magical law enforcement. With you credit for revolutionizing time travel as well as your diverse knowledge of how timelines are effected by outside influence you could write your ticket for a job as one of the Unspeakables in the department of mysteries at the ministry."

"Move to London?" she asked when I was no longer able to think of options I thought she might enjoy. "Would you want that?"

"For you to move to London?" I asked for clarification.

"Yes," she said as she folded her hands in front of her chest, bowing toward me as a sign that she was done with yoga.

"No Hermione, I do not want that," I said as I returned her bow and picked myself up from the floor. "But I do want you to be happy, and if that means you go off to London, I have to be okay with that."

"I think I could be happy as a healer," she said quietly as she started rolling up her yoga mat. "I think I could be happy."

I couldn't summon the right words for what that mean to me. I was frozen in place watching her, my heart soaring at the importance of what she was saying. I was still frozen trying to force myself to start moving again when she looked up at me and gave me the tiniest smile. It only lasted a second, but it made my heart leap.

"Well, you will need to obtain at least an Exceeds Expectations on your NEWTS in potions, transfiguration, herbology, charms, and defense against the dark arts," I said as I rolled up my own mat. "You don't even need to continue on with care of magical creatures if you don't want to."

"I am not a huge fan of the class," she admitted as she stood to her full height and walked slowly over to stow her mat away behind my bookshelf, her limp nearly gone. "But I don't want to drop Hagrid's class either."

"You are as loyal as a Hufflepuff," I chuckled went to grab a jar of healing salve for her. "Loyal as a Hufflepuff, as wrapped up in your studies as a Ravenclaw, and as inventive as a Slytherin, are you sure you were sorted into the right house."

"I have no idea," she called over her shoulder as she made her way into my bathroom. "But as I am a Gryffindor and term starts in a few days, I should probably move back to the tower soon."

"If that's what you want," I hedged, not willing to admit that I hated the idea of her leaving my quarters, even if it would be nice to sleep somewhere other than my couch again. "You are mobile enough that it shouldn't be an issue for you."

I walked around the corner into the bathroom to hand her the salve, and I was surprised to see that she had removed her head scarf. She was looking at herself in the mirror, and using her fingers to brush about the small crop of hair that had started to grow on her head. It was short, very short, but I still kind of liked it. I could see from her watery eyes that she was struggling to look at it.

"It's not bad," I said quietly as set the salve on the counter by her hand. "I think it is actually very pretty"

"It's kind of chic I guess," she said with a snuffle. "It makes me look like a rebel right?"

"Very rebellious," I agreed with a smirk. "And the vitamins have helped it to grow so fast, that people who haven't heard wouldn't even know you were bald this summer. It just looks like a haircut. A pretty haircut."

"Thank you Severus," she said, meeting my gaze in the mirror for a moment before she picked up the jar of salve and gave me a pointed look that meant I was supposed to leave.

Just hours before this had all happened I had been allowed to see her entire body, been allowed to touch it and admire it. Now I was lucky if I was allowed to touch her, let alone she her in anything less than a turtle neck. So I turned and left the room, and she closed the door behind me. I had to hope that being okay with taking off the scarf was just the first step. That soon she would stop feeling so self-conscious about her scars as well.

-`-'-

That night I helped move the few things that had accumulated in my chambers that belonged to Hermione. I entered Gryffindor tower for the first time in ages, and hauled her things into the seventh year girls dormitory while she walked as briskly as she could manage behind me. Her leg was very close to completely healed, but she was still a ways off from running on it. My disappointment to see her go, was at war with my surprise and relief to see her wearing a scoop neck t-shirt that revealed all of her neck and part of her collarbone. She had one faint scar that broke up her exposed skin, but I doubted anyone would notice if they weren't looking for it.

I put her yoga mat under her bed, and set her other belongings on top of the trunk that had already been placed at the foot of her bed. I stood by awkwardly, unsure of if I should just leave, as she sat on her bed looking around like she didn't recognize her surroundings. In a way I guess she didn't. It was an entirely different dormitory, and it was probably odd to see me in this dormitory, it was the last place I would be expected to be.

"I was wondering if," she started, and then she seemed to get nervous. "If uh, maybe you'd like to have dinner together in Hogsmeade tomorrow… you know instead of the great hall. Or whatever, I mean, it's no big deal—"

I stopped her nervous ramblings by placing my finger over lips. I wished I could kiss those lips, but I didn't think she was ready for something like that.

"I would love to take you to dinner tomorrow night," I told her with a smile. "How about I come pick you up at six in the evening?"

"That sounds good," she said, flashing me another brief smile. "I'd like that."

I locked the image of her smiling at me away in my mind and I made my exit. I let that smile bolster the hope I was holding on to that she was getting better. Hope that we would be okay. It was a struggle to hope, but I held on as tightly as I could to the little hope I had. I refused to return that dark place of hopelessness I had lived in for so many years.

-`-'-

I dressed in simple black slacks with a black sweater and made my way back up to Gryffindor tower to collect the beautiful woman who was allowing me to take her on a date tonight. A reservation was already made for a private booth on the second floor of the three broomsticks, and I hoped the added privacy would make Hermione more comfortable.

I offered up the password that would give me entrance to the tower I was surprised to find Hermione already waiting in the common room. I had expected her to be in the dormitory, but she was curled up on a sofa waiting for me with a small smile on her face. I was momentarily stunned, not just by her location, but by her appearance. She was wearing a form fitting emerald green sweater dress. The neckline plunged all the way to her bosom and while she may have thought I was staring at the solitary scar that snaked up toward her throat, I was actually captivated by the swell of her chest. I managed to shake my focus and move my eyes, but then I found them trailing down her fit legs that were exposed from the mid-thigh down. I was simultaneously glad to see that she had gone with a safe flat shoe, and disappointed that I didn't get to admire another set of strappy heels on her.

"You look very, very beautiful," I told her, forcing my eyes back up to hers. "Possibly illegally so."

She laughed at that, actually laughed. For three brilliant seconds her entire face lit up, and her chest shook with laughter. For three seconds all of the shadows left her and she was the Hermione that would spontaneously invite me to go swimming in the lake in our skivvies.

"Well hopefully I will not get arrested," she said as she slid off the couch and walked over to join me.

I offered her my arm casually, and she took it. I smiled, and led her slowly out of the castle and down to the village. We kept up a casual pace, but I could sense that she was getting very tired. She kept a smile on her features, and did not complain once. I wanted to kiss her and profess my love a million times over, but that would probably startle her. So instead I opened the door for her, and lead her up to our private table with Madam Rosemerta hot on our heels.

"What can I get for you two this evening," she asked after I had pulled out Hermione's chair for her, and taken my own seat.

"I would like some of your lamb with a glass of red wine." I told her looking to Hermione, about to ask if she needed a menu.

"I'll have what he's having," she said quickly, folding her hands in her lap and ducking her head so she would not have to make eye contact with Madam Rosemerta.

"Okay, I will have your drinks to you in a jiffy," she said with a smile, ignoring Hermione's shy behavior. "and the lamb might take a little time."

"Thank you very much," I told her and she made her way out of the room, giving us our space.

"Is red wine good?" Hermione asked me, her face caught somewhere between embarrassment and interest.

"It isn't for everyone," I admitted. "But I enjoy it, and it does pair very well with lamb."

Hermione nodded, and looked around the room for a minute before making eye contact with me once more.

"Were you able… I mean did you," she stuttered. "Did you go to my parents' funeral?"

"No," I admitted painfully. "I was directing your medical care. I did not leave your bedside."

"Did uh, anyone go?" she asked me, her eyes tearing up a bit, though the tears did not fall. "Was there someone there to say goodbye to them? Someone to make sure they weren't alone?"

"Harry Potter and all of the Weasleys went," I answered her honestly. "Most all of the Hogwarts Professors attended."

"Good, that's good," she said, shaking her head to banish the tears away. "It's good they weren't alone."

Our conversation was broken up by Madam Rosemerta returning with two wine glasses and an uncorked bottle of red wine. She placed the cups on either side of the table and poured us each a glass before setting the bottle in the middle of the table and leaving us once more.

"We could go, see their gravestones before school starts up," I suggested before taking a sip of my wine. "If you want to."

She was quiet for a long time, her eyes flitting between mine and the table. I started to wonder if she was even going to answer.

"I don't think I want to," she said finally, her watery eyes locking on mine. "It's hard enough to face the idea that I can't simply go back and fix this. I don't think I could stand to see their passing immortalized in stone."

Madam Rosemerta arrived after that with our food, and I refrained from saying anything other than to thank her. I saw away at my lamb trying to find the right thing to say. Hermione was moving her peas around her plate, her shoulders seeming heavy. I realized she must feel guilty for admitting she couldn't go see their grave.

"After my mother was killed," I said into the silence. "I avoided the room her urn was in. I crawled out of my bedroom window so I wouldn't have to walk through the living room where I knew it was on a shelf. I think it was more than a year before I was able to enter that room again, let alone look at the urn."

Her shoulders dropped away from her ears, and though she didn't smile I knew that had been what she needed to hear. She needed to be reassured that her grief was not abnormal, that she was not abnormal.

We made simple small talk after that. Though it was meant to be a secret, I had long ago informed her of the upcoming Triwizard tournament, so we made predictions about who might be chosen for each school. I was surprised to discover that she was interested in putting her name in the ring. If I were being honest with myself I was nervous about the idea of her putting herself in jeopardy, but other than this date it was the first active plan for the future she had expressed without my pushing so I was grateful for it. If she was making a plan to be a part of something that would span an entire year, I was less worried that she didn't intend to be here for the year.

-`-'-

Eventually the wine had gone the same way as the lamb and we were ready to return to the castle. I paid for our meal and led Hermione out into the slowly darkening world. She was light on her feet and I wondered just how much the wine had affected her. Two glasses wasn't much, but she had gotten awfully thin, perhaps she was slightly inebriated. I might need to monitor her part of the evening just be sure she was alright. Who knew if allowing someone who had brain surgery drink was a good idea? I certainly didn't know.

As we left the village and began our trek up the sloping grounds toward the castle, she grew steadily less light on her feet. I thought perhaps she was just getting tired, but after mounting the steps to enter the castle I saw that she was limping. She was in pain, and yet her face had a focused and determined look on it that did not belay pain in the slightest. I fought the urge to offer to carry her, knowing it would upset her, and led her up the never ending flights of stairs between us and the seventh floor.

She was losing her battle of bravery by the time we came to a stop in front of the portrait that would allow us entrance to Gryffindor tower. I looked to her, waiting for her to give the password, and I saw that her breathing had grown labored and she was fighting off tears.

"Gillyweed," I told the portrait and when it swung open I stooped to lift Hermione into my arms without asking for permission, I gave her a stern look when she opened her mouth to protest. "Hermione, your leg should rest, it has been through quite the workout today."

She nodded with a shaky breath, letting the stubbornness fall from her features. Her raw pain was left behind and I ached for her. At the same time I wanted to shake her and her silly lion pride. If she had admitted she needed rest she might not be in as much pain now. Though to be fair I probably would have done the same thing.

I set her down on the couch nearest to the fire which was dancing cheerily in the fireplace. I settled down beside her, and pulled her legs into my lap so she could stretch them across the couch. I pulled her flats off for her and tossed them softy onto the floor in front of us.

"Thank you," she sighed, stretching languidly before laying back against the arm rest. "Might I convince you to massage my tired muscles for me?"

I had to stifle my surprise that she was giving me an open invitation to touch her. She had been so distant, so transparent in her feelings about the curse that had permanently scarred her, and now she was asking me to touch her again.

"Of course," I agreed easily and I allowed my hands to closer over her left ankle and calf.

I set to work gently massaging the bottom of her leg, surprised by how tightly the muscles were stretched. I worked on loosening each muscle, and took pride in how her back grew steadily less rigid as she sunk further into the couch. Her eyes were closed and she was simply enjoying my touch, I had worried that there would never be another moment like this.

I climbed my way up to her knee, and I felt the subtle swelling that announced silently how over worked her leg felt. We were slowly building it back up to what it had been, but today had been taxing for her. Between the trip down and back to the castle she had walked nearly three miles. So I did my best to erase the pain it had caused her by gently relaxing her muscles back to the state they had been in before we left.

When I moved my hand up to begin massaging her thigh she drew a shaky breath that caused me to instantly still my movements. When she let the air slowly leave her chest and did not ask me to stop I continued my ministrations As my hands worked her breathing became heavier, and I wondered if perhaps she had fallen asleep. I stole a look up at her face I was surprised to see that her eyes were open, and she was watching me from behind hooded lids.

I kept my eyes locked on hers as I let my hands climb to the hem of her dress as they worked and I saw her darken. I let out a labored breath of my own when I realized she was aroused. I closed my eyes and continued my work, trying to bring myself back under control. It was already difficult to keep myself from becoming aroused while massaging her delectable leg, but when she was looking at me like that? Impossible.

"Severus," she said in a throaty voice, and my hands stilled on her thigh, pretending not to feel how warm she was. "Won't you look at me?"

"I don't think that's best," I hedged as I lowered my hands to massage closer to her knee so I would not be tempted.

She actually whimpered. Whether it was because I had not opened my eyes or because I had lowered my hands I was not sure. In the end my curiosity got the better of me, and I opened my eyes to look at her. I saw that in addition to her dark and hooded eyes her cheeks had grown pink and her chest was heaving slightly with each breath. It was mouthwatering to look at, and all of my carefully constructed control was lost in that moment.

I let my hand drift up, pushing her dress up a few inches as I moved, and I closed my hand over the outside of her upper thigh. I gripped it while I released the breath that was trapped in my chest watched her head fall back against the couch, her eyes drifting closed.

"Hermione," I breathed barely louder than a whisper. "What do you want?"

There was so much in that question, I didn't even know what I wanted her answer to be. I wanted an answer about if she wanted me to continue on this path we found ourselves on, but there was so much else that I wanted to know as well. I felt like our entire future hung on that very question.

"You," she answered headily, and the sexuality of her voice went straight to my loins. "Please."

I would not make her beg, not tonight, not for this. And so I complied to what she was asking of me even with my worry for her heavy in my heart. I shifted us quickly so I was no longer sitting beneath her legs. I kneeled over her, my hand still clasped on her upper thigh as I leaned to claim her lips. I felt my heart stutter once as our lips danced together, and I began to massage her leg once more, my other hand coming to rest on her opposite hip.

She moaned against my lips, and shuddered as I pressed my thumb into the crease where hip met torso. She squirmed under me, and I had to fight the urge to bring my body down to press against hers. I allowed my lips to wander, tasting the skin of her neck, and she began to mewl in my ear. She brought both her hands to tangle in my hair she arched up into me, her chest brushing against mine and I grew bold.

"Oh Severus," she moaned breathily as I drug my hand inward and pressed my thumb against damp lace.

She drew a gasping breath as I pushed my thumb down again, and when I made a third movement pressing against her, her hips began a subtle rocking motion in response. I was mesmerized by her, with her head thrown back over the armrest, her skin flushed and her chest heaving. Her hands were clutching tightly at my hair and her body was moving in a primal way, responding to the please I was giving her.

I continued to make the small circled with my thumb while I let my right hand climb up to graze her chest. She arched right into my hand while I touched her and I was sure it would be my undoing. She was panting and moving against me, and I was certain that this moment, here on this couch, was heaven.

"May I?" I asked, running my finger along to top of her knickers in question.

"Mmmm, please," she said as she lifted her hips up off the couch either in invitation, or in an attempt to force my hand back on to her.

I removed my hand from her chest, bring it to meet its partner as I ever so slowly pulled the black lace panties she wore down. I could hardly look away from her exposed flesh long enough to pull them down her legs. I could see how much I was effecting her, and my arousal surged to a new height. I was hypnotized by the sight of her lain bare before me, and I was leaning in to her before I even realized what I was doing.

I pressed my tongue against her swollen bundle of nerves and she bucked spastically against me, crying out in surprise as well as desire. I tried to remain still while she adjusted, but I could not help myself. I began to lap at her glistening lips. It was far better than anything I had tasted all night. She quivered beneath me, attempting to keep her hips from rocking while I suckled at her. I could feel the tightening of her muscles that told me she was close, so brought my fingers back to circle her clit again. I moved quicker and harder when she lost the ability to keep herself from thrusting. Her muscles clamped down around my tongue, and suddenly my mouth was filling with her juices. I lapped them up, astounded that a day that I had thought was just a simply dinner was ending with me worshiping the body I had been so desperate to touch for so long.

"Thank you," I breathed placing kisses on her thighs as she came down from her high. "I love you."

"I love you too Severus," she breathed in a quiet shaky voice. "Let me show you how thankful I am."

I looked up at her from between her legs, surprised by her words, and to hesitant to allow myself to be hopeful as to what she meant. I sat up slowly, moving into a seat position, pulling her legs into my lap once more. To my surprise she removed the immediately, and slid off the couch to stand before me.

"Tell me Severus," she said huskily. "Would you like direct reciprocation, or perhaps something a little more?"

I stared at her in disbelief. Where had this bold vixen been hiding all summer?

"More," I said so quietly I wasn't sure she had heard me.

She leaned forward and began unbuttoning my shirt, so I thought she must have heard me after all. I sat dumb founded as she pulled my shirt free of my trousers and ran her hands over my exposed flesh sending shivers through me.

Her hands moved quickly to undo my pants and I felt my breathing becoming more labored at the idea of her touching me there. I pictured her hand wrapping around me, and I had to lock down my hips to keep from thrusting up at her. She tore my pants open, pushing them and my boxers down. I lifted my hips to help her, and found myself exposed from the thighs up. She stared at me with huge eyes from a moment before her hand closed over me, and I groaned letting my head fall back against the couch and closing my eyes.

I waited, impatiently, for her to pump her hand up, but I was surprised to feel instead that her hand stayed locked on me while the couch was displaced on either side of me. I opened my eyes to see if she really had climbed onto the couch, and it was just in time to see her brashly mount me and guide me into her entrance in one swift moment. I moaned and she froze.

"Oh," she gasped, and I looked at her face seeing it drawn tight in what I realized was pain. "I thought it would hurt less if I did it fast."

"You are a virgin," I breathed shakily in acknowledgement of the incredibly tightness pressing in on me.

"Not anymore," she said with an airy chuckle, and I fought not to respond to how her shaking affected me while she was wrapped around me.

"Hermione, you have no idea how good you feel," I moaned, clutching the couch cushions in an attempt to bolster my restraint.

"Show me," she instructed quietly.

"I don't want to hurt you," I protested, even if my body was begging to throw caution to the wind and just fuck her.

"You won't hurt me," she said, and she rocked her hips against mine send jolts of electricity up my spine. "Show me how good you feel."

I understood her meaning the second time. She didn't just mean how I was feeling. She wanted me to show her how good I could make her feel. I didn't need to be asked again. I grabbed hold of her dress and pushed it up to her waist, stopping when I knew her scars would soon be exposed. I closed my hands on her bare hips, and then I began to thrust up in to her.

She was heaven. I could barely keep my eyes open as I moved in and out of her. I moaned each time I plunged into her deeps and she cried out each time I pulled nearly out of her. We found a rhythm and I got lost in the sound of our skin slapping together when it made contact. I moved steadily faster, and I could feel her walls closing in around me once more as I raced towards my own climax. She held my face into her chest, clawing at me desperately as she spoke nonsense and I groaned incoherently into her dress.

All to suddenly my climax was upon me and I came inside her, my hips thrusting at her erratically as I was blinded by pleasure. I reached out blindly to work on her bundle of nerves, to bring her with me over the precipice. She practically screamed as he walls tightened in finality and she tumbled over the edge with me calling out my name.

The sound of my name on her lips as she came unraveled was the best sound in the world. I would do everything in my power to hear that as often as possible. But for now I just wanted to hold her, to hold onto this incredible connection for a bit longer.

* * *

 **Ch11: Songs for this chapter: I Run To You by Lady Antabellum and Everything At Once by Lenka**

 **HPOV**

For a few blissful hours I lay entwined with Severus on the couch. Our post coital touches were bliss, and I was so happy. And then the high started to fade, and the guilt took its place. My joy was sapped away by the guilt that I could feel joy when my parents could not.

"Are you okay?" Severus asked me, brushing my tears I hadn't realized were falling from my cheeks. "Are you hurting?"

"I just…" I tried to say, but my breath was stolen away by the guilt pressing harder and harder upon my chest.

I burst into full out sobs, and through watery eyes I could see that Severus looked panicked. His hands were moving quickly, trying to wipe away my tears, while simultaneously trying to determine where I was hurt. I was curling in on myself, struggling for air between my wracking sobs.

"Where are you hurt," he pushed, pressing gently on my abdomen and my legs, trying to find the injury. "I can heal you; just tell me where it hurts."

I couldn't form words, so I simply grabbed his hand, and pressed it against my chest right above my heart. I held it there, and waited for him to understand while I tried unsuccessfully to bring my tears under my control.

"Oh," he gasped, his movements stilling as he understood. "You hurt here. I hurt you here."

"No," I sobbed at him, trying to pull him tighter to me. "Not you."

"What has upset you so, if not what we just did?" he asked me quietly.

"Guilty," I shuddered, sucking air as the tears began to slow. "I-I feel guilt-t-ty."

"Hermione," he sighed, leaning back into the couch, so he could pull me tight against his chest. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have pushed it. Shouldn't have put you in this position."

"I p-pushed it," I breathed into his chest, having a bit more success at gathering myself. "I wa-anted it. But I feel so bad, for being so happy."

"I know I can't just tell you not to feel guilty for being alive, and for living," he said as her tenderly brushed his fingers over my short hair. "But I wish I could. I wish I could just tell you that it's okay to be alive, and have that be the end of it."

"Me too," I sighed, letting my body relax against his, and letting go of my tight grip on consciousness.

Just letting myself be safe and as close to happy as I could handle while wrapped up in his arms.

-`-'-

We slept through the night wrapped around each other on the couch. When the sun rose, dancing through the big windows, I awoke, and found that I was stiff and sore. I stretched my body trying to loosen my muscles, and Severus jerked awake, his arms tightening around me for a second his face constricted in fear. But then he seemed to realize his surroundings, and he let me go with a sheepish grin. I ran my fingers gently over the skin under his eyes, noting how dark it was. For the first time since everything had gone so horribly wrong this summer, I realized how much it must be affecting him. I had been so caught up in my own emotions that I hadn't realized he had been traumatized as well.

"I love you Severus," I murmured before stealing a quick kiss. "And I am so thankful for everything that you have done for me, to help me. But I think maybe you need me to help you too."

"I don't know what you are talking about," he said with a tight laugh. "And I love you too."

He started kissing me, so deeply that it stole my breath away. And as much as I enjoyed it, I realized what he was doing, so I had to push him away.

"I will gladly kiss you until the end of time," I soothed, brushing his hair back and out of his face. "But right now I need to talk. I need to acknowledge that you were hurt this summer too. I want to help you feel as good as you make me feel."

"Hermione, I'm fine," he brushed me off, his arms wrapping more tightly around my torso.

"You sleep on edge. You don't like to let me out of your sight," I pointed out. "You are terrified that I am going to disappear, or fall apart. If I cry, you go into a panic that I am gravely injured. You're living in a war zone even though the fight has ended."

He was quiet. I could see my words flitting through his mind. I knew he was processing them, but I could see that he didn't want to admit to them.

"And that's ok," I whispered. "Because for the most part, I have been living in that war zone too. I have pushed you into it, by blaming you for what happened to me. And I just want us both to be better now. I want you to feel free to touch me because you know that I am not going to flinch away from you. And I want to stretch in my sleep without your first instinct being to pull me tight and protect me from a nonexistent threat."

"Ok," he said quietly, his eyes drifting closed for a moment before he made eyes contact once more. "I promise to try and take steps out of the war zone. With you."

"And I promise to do the same," I smiled, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. "Now, I think a shower is in order."

I pulled my aching body up of the couch, ignoring the slight pain in my center. I stretched once more, and then looked at him expectantly, lying on the couch watching me. I stooped to pick my panties up off the floor, as well as my shoes, but when I looked back I saw that he still hadn't moved.

"Aren't you coming?" I asked with a smirk before I turned and walked away from him, and made my way up to the seventh year girl's dormitory.

I was halfway up the stairs when I heard him hurrying up after me. I left the door open and crossed the floor. I tossed my things on my bed, pulling my dress up and over my head without breaking stride. I was nervous about him seeing my entirely naked body for the first time, with my scars exposed for him to see, and if I didn't just keep moving forward I was going to lose my nerve. I heard his clothes hitting the floor as well, as I stepped into the bathroom that I would soon be sharing with the other girls in their seventh year at Hogwarts.

I went to the nearest shower, turning it on and noting that it was the same as the bathroom from my old dormitory, with taps for dispensing shower products mounted into the wall below the shower head. I smiled at that, and stepped quickly into the shower sighing at the feel of the hot water hitting my skin.

My eyes were closed, but I sensed when Severus had stepped into the shower with me. I remembered briefly the last time we had been in the shower together, and felt a smile tug at the memory of how caring he had been even if it had been an awful night. Finally, I opened my eyes, and took in the beauty of his fully exposed form.

"I think I much prefer showering with you when you clothes are off," I said as I trailed my eyes over his body greedily.

"I will never tire of the vision of your body, when it is wet," he said in a husky voice, and I looked at his face wondering if he was really talking about water.

I was considering asking for clarification, when I realized that he was looking at my torso. I expected revulsion or even sadness in his eyes when he finally saw my scars, but the hunger didn't leave his eyes. I looked down at the thin line that snaked from my right hip, up my abdomen, and over my left breast. It was close to the same color as the rest of my skin, but it was cut by an angry purple gash. The mark from the fiery curse that had been used on me stretch halfway across my ribcage, a few inches under my left breast. The healing salve did wonders on the wound from his own curse, but did nothing to help with the other injury.

"I must admit, I expected you to look disgusted when you saw them," I said quietly.

"You've seen mine," was the answer he offered, as he traced his finger over the longer of the two scars. "And it may please you to know that I can make this one go away entirely. I may even be able to help with this other one, if you can describe the spell, or what you remember of it, to me."

And then he traced his finger over the short scar, where nerves were apparently exposed, and I embarrassed myself by moaning. I wondered if this was what his hip felt like when I touched it. I reached out unconsciously to touch his scar while meeting his gaze again.

"If you make it go away, will the nerves become less sensitive?" I asked, watching his eyes roll back into his head as I squeezed my fingers against his hip.

"Most likely," he said huskily, stepping closer to me as he brushed his finger over my scar again, sending that tingling feeling through me once more.

"Let's leave it then," I breathed, as I gripped his hip tightly and pulled him against my body.

He leaned down to kiss me, and I didn't even know what sensation to focus on. His lips were soft against mine, his finger continued to move back and forth over my scar, and our bodies were pressed together with hot shower water running between us. It made me weak in the knees, and I thought I might swoon. Severus removed my worry about collapsing in the shower when he took a firm grasp on both of my hips and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist, and he moved forward so my back was pressed against the tiled shower wall. The sensation of his hot skin, and the cool shower wall was a bit overwhelming.

"Might I offer an alternative for this morning's exercises," he whispered against my neck before he began suckling my pulse point in a way that made thought impossible.

"Mmmmm?" I questioned breathily.

"Perhaps instead of yoga," he said between kisses as his lips moved down toward my collar bone. "We could keep ourselves otherwise occupied."

"I'm up for anything that you are." I gasped as his teeth grazed over my collar bone.

"Oh I am most certainly up for this," he chuckled before dipping his head down to my breast, and distracting me from my excitement that he was telling jokes again.

I latched my hands onto his shoulders to better support myself while he turned me into a moaning quivering mess with each pass of his tongue. My body grew hotter by the second, and I thought I might explode from the sensations he was causing. I drug my nails across his back, and he shuddered beneath me.

"Mione," he grunted, bring his face back up to my level. "I wanted to take it slow this time, but… would you forgive me if I were to take you quickly, against the shower wall like a Neanderthal?"

"Oh, please," I moaned stunned by how his words went straight to my core. "Right now, against the shower wall, sounds perfect."

He didn't wait for further encouragement. He shifted so I was pressed more firmly against the shower wall, and created distance between us for a second while he shifted his position between my legs. He pushed forward, guiding himself into me, and I arched away from the shower wall eager to have him fill me. He began to thrust and I had to bite my lip to keep from screaming at how good he felt.

"Mmmmm, Mione," he groaned, picking up his pace, his arms braced against the wall on either side of me. "Better than the couch. So good."

"Yeah," I panted, circling my hips to create more sensation with each of his thrusts. "Oh God, that's… ooh."

Whatever I had planned to say evaporated from my mind as he began to work my bundle of nerves while he thrust in to me. Lights began popping up behind my eyes and I realized I had stopped breathing from the intense pleasure he was bathing me in. My mouth worked unproductively, and he sent me tumbling unexpectedly into an orgasm.

I was crying out his name, clutching his shoulders as my muscles clutched around other parts of him, and he continued to move in and out of me. He was building speed, and I was turning into a right mess, making incoherent sounds as I jerked spasmodically against him. I fell back into a rhythm as I found my breath again, and tried to meet his thrusts as eagerly as he was giving them.

I wrapped my arms around his neck, bringing his lips to mine, and attacked his mouth as he continued an attack of his own. The angle created by the way we were leaning in to each other kissing, sent waves of pleasure rolling down in to my arms and legs. I found myself gasping into his mouth as the muscles within me began to coil once more.

"Oh God Severus," I moaned against his lips, fisting my hands in his hair, as I felt my body racing towards completion yet again.

"Come for me witch," he said huskily before he bit my neck and thrust into me harder.

I was never one to disobey a teacher. I held his head against my throat while my muscles clamped down on him again screaming my pleasure in a hoarse voice. I pulled him as tightly as I could against me with my legs and rode out the blinding waves of sensation he was sending through me as he continued to move inside of me. I kept moving with him, and as the waves of pleasure rolled through me, inexplicably I felt that telltale tightening beginning again.

"Please, please," I begged him, as his thrusting reached a new speed, and I knew he was close as well. "Please Severus."

He growled as he slammed into me, and I felt him come undone as a whole new level of pleasure exploded through me. Our movements were erratic as we both drown in the perfection of our coupling. His orgasm made his legs weak and we sunk to the shower floor panting through the intense pleasure we were feeling. I thought I might actually cry I felt so incredibly good.

"I love you," I said placing a kiss on each of his eyelids. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I peppered his face with kisses as we both came down from our high.

"I love you Hermione," he breathed against my shoulder as he hugged me close and held me tight to his chest. "I love that I can make you feel that good, and that you can make me feel what I just felt."

"I will gladly never leave this shower again," I sighed into his wet hair. "If you continue to make me feel like that. I don't want to ever put on clothes again."

"I could get used to you being naked for the rest of my life," he chuckled, peppering my shoulder with kisses. "But I'd be fine with you wearing your silly turtle necks again too so long as you're here."

We had showered and continued on with our day, and it wasn't until later that I realized what our words had really meant. We had both developed an addiction within that shower stall. His was to me, and mine was to sex. That wasn't to say that he didn't enjoy sex with me, and I didn't enjoy spending all of my time with him. But he was unlikely to make it through a day without my company, and a day that I didn't spend consummating my love to him felt wasted.

Because of that I did separate from him during the afternoon. I walked on my own down to the bounds of Hogwarts, and then I apparated into muggle London. If I was going to be enjoying my private time with Severus as much as I wanted to, I needed to be responsible about my body. So I got the morning after pill incase our impromptu love making had led to something more than pleasure. And then I got birth control. One day having a child with the man I loved sounded wonderful, but at this point in my life it was out of the question. I was just coming out of the water I had been drowning in, and I wasn't even out of school yet. When I was properly stocked with the things I needed I apparated back to the school gates and walked casually back up to the castle.

I was surprised to see Albus sitting on the steps waiting for me. At least I assumed he was waiting for me, because he stood upon my arrival and opened the door for me. I followed him inside feeling my nerves grow at the reserved look on his face. He still hadn't said anything so I was starting to really worry about it.

"Well Miss Granger," he said as he opened the door to the great hall and led me in. "It seems we have found ourselves in another delicate situation, as seems to be becoming customary with you."

"I'm sorry?" I said, noting that there was an old tired looking wizard sitting up at the head table.

"Well, it seems that you apparated into London today, which is of course a bit of an issue since you do not have a license," he said quietly as he continued leading me toward the other man. "Which brings us to the other more delicate situation, this use of magic was discovered by the magical trace, which should have been removed when your legal ago was renegotiated by the ministry of magic."

"So what does that mean exactly," I asked unsure of if I should be nervous or not.

"Well, the ministry has offered to wave any punishment, if you agree not to press charges for their oversight," he explained as we reached the table where the man sat.

"And I am here to proctor you aparating test," the old man said as he stood from his seat. "Assuming everything goes according to plan, you should end the day with your apparating license and we can be done with this."

"They really didn't remove the trace?" I asked, my brows rising.

"You really apparated into downtown London without any legal training or licensing?" the old man retorted.

"Touché," I chuckled. "Well, why don't we get this test started then, oh and I agree not to press charges."

The test itself didn't take very long. I just had to demonstrate that I was capable of aparating without splinching myself or ending up in the wrong location. I demonstrated that I was not inept, and then I had to fudge some facts when he asked how I had learned to apparate so well. I gave the credit to a young and rebellious Snape from the past so there would be no real legal ground to stand on for punishing him. If he made a silly choice while studying at Hogwarts, it would be hard to punish him so many years later. But if he taught a thirteen year old student to apparate so she could do his bidding that was an entirely different story.

-`-'-

I would have liked to keep spending all of my time hidden away in either Gryffindor tower or down in Severus's chambers, but the first day of term had finally arrived so I had to put on my brave face, and spend a prolonged period of time with someone other than Severus. So I finished my morning yoga, dressed in my Hogwarts robes, and actually put on some makeup since I couldn't do anything with my hair. Not much, just eyeliner and lip gloss, but it made me feel more girly, so it would have to do. I gave Severus a quick kiss goodbye, and I walked down to the bounds so I could apparate to Kings Cross station. I wanted to make the start of term as normal as possible, so I was going to ride the train to school just like everyone else.

I arrived at the station just before eleven, and hurried on to the platform. I walked briskly past other students to climb on the train, and it didn't occur to me until I was stuck behind several students with trunks, that it probably looked odd that I didn't have any luggage with me. I pushed it out of my mind, and started looking for the boys. They were at the end of the train, sprawled out across the seats in the last compartment.

"Hey guys," I said as I joined them, folding sinuously into lotus on the floor in between them.

"Hey," they both cheered, Harry diving forward to pull me into a tight hug.

"We missed you at the Quidditch World Cup," Harry said.

"Yeah, it was crazy, with all those Death Eaters protesting the announcement that He Who Must Not Be Named was truly gone forever," Ron said, as he handed me a moving action figure of a brooding Baltic looking man. "Plus Krum was awesome."

"The game was intense," Harry agreed quickly. "Krum made an excellent catch, but Ireland still won."

"That's pretty insane," I laughed, poking the action figure as it walked along my palm. "Wish I could have been there."

"Where were you?" Ron asked. "We heard about the attack in the prophet, but that was awhile before the game wasn't it?"

"It took a while to recover from," I hedged, not wanting to tell them I had brain surgery, because Harry would worry and Ron would freak out. "But I'm all better now, and excited for the new year at school."

"What year are you going to be in?" Harry asked. "I still can't believe everything that happened. How did you manage to keep all of that secret? How old are you now? Just how to all of it I guess."

"Well, I'll be a seventh year," I answered with a chuckle. "And it was hard to keep it secret, exhausting actually, but it was important so I did it. And I'm technically already 19, but I wanted to keep my birthday the same, so I am not counting it at my age until my birthday later this month."

"But he real question is," Ron interject before Harry could ask whatever his next question was going to be. "Are you actually… you know… dating the dungeon bat?"

"His name is Severus," I said stiffly. "And yes I am."

"Actually his name is Professor Snape," Ron said in a tone that suggested he was going to vomit. "And you are a student. That's just wrong."

"And how about those Bulgarian quidditch players?" Harry said awkwardly into the tense silence that had fallen between us.

"Well, my relationship does leave me privy to information that I am fairly certain you don't have yet," I said loftily. "Do you want to know what it is, or do you want to continue being an arse?"

"Information please," Harry pushed while Ron continued glaring at me.

"There is a big competition at the school this year," I said in a rush. "It's called the Triwizard tournament. And two other schools are coming to compete against us."

"That is so awesome," Harry cheered, looking at Ron with a smile and a cheesy thumbs up. "What do you win?"

"The prize is 1000 galleons, plus this cup, and honor for your school," I told them. "But the tournament is seriously dangerous, and lots of people have died in the past, so they are only letting students who are of age participate this year."

"What?" the boys both shouted in response to that.

"That isn't fair!" Ron growled.

Any debate of the fairness was cut short by a very unpleasant interruption by Draco Malfoy and his cronies. I didn't hear a word they said while they were there, I was too distracted by a roaring in my ears as I tried to reign in the rage that built up inside of me at the sight of him. I clutched my arms around myself fighting the urge to murder him for daring to even look like his father. I didn't even notice that I was hyperventilating until Harry was shaking me and telling me to breathe.

"I can't do the train anymore," I panted at him, pulling myself up off the floor and drawing my wand. "I'll see you guys at the school."

I didn't wait for them to give me any sort of answer. I just turned to the left and let the pressure build around me as I disappeared from the train, and reappeared at the gates of the school. I opted not to take a carriage, and just walked up to the castle with the sun setting around me.

I had the plan about being responsible, and normal, or what people thought was supposed to be normal, today, but instead I was throwing that all to the wind. For the first time since the surgery I pushed my legs to run. It was slightly stilted, but I didn't fall, and I wasn't in pain, so I kept running until I covered the ground between the gates and the castle. I raced from the entrance hall down to the dungeons, and I was inside Severus's chambers in no time. He was sitting on his settee reading a book, but his head snapped up with concerned features when I came flying into his room.

"You ran," he gasped in shock. "You're running. Wait why are you running?"

"I ran into Draco Malfoy and I freaked a little," I sighed as I climbed into his lap. "But I ran, back to you, because I decided that instead of riding the train, I wanted to spend my last free hours with you. Doing what absolutely no one else is allowed to do with you."

And so we did. And I found myself much more relaxed as I walked up to the great hall with Severus and prepared for the big reveal of the feast to the student body. I slid into the hall just behind a gaggle of Hufflepuff girls, and sidled over to the Gryffindor table to make a second attempt at being normal with Harry and Ron.

I wasn't great with the whole normal thing. People were staring at me, and I could hear them whispering. I was in a crowded room, so I couldn't really run off to hide behind Severus at a time like this. So I settled for watching him covertly while attempting to tune out everyone around me. It helped me keep my mind black of anything else to see that he was watching me as well.

I listened half-heartedly to the explanation of Triwizard tournament since I already knew about it. But I didn't have to fake the excitement after all of the explaining was done. Part of my new lease on life was fueled by the excitement I felt by the prospect of participating in this competition, so excitement didn't quite cover it.

"Hermione," Ron whined as we followed the crowd out of the great hall. "You've got to enter, and help us find a way to enter too."

"Sure," I agreed easily, knowing I would never help them enter a competition that would get them killed, but not wanting to fight with Ron again. "We've got two whole month to figure out a way to get you in."

Ron said something back, but I was busy looking for Severus in the crowd. I saw him in the doorway to the great hall so I flashed him a smile and pursed my lips subtly as to not embarrass him by blowing a kiss in the middle of a crowd. He pressed his fingers against his lips and bowed his head before making his way out of the crowd toward the dungeons.

-`-'-

Starting classes with a whole new group of students was… interesting to say the least. Everyone knew who I was, but I still felt like the new kid. Some people stared; some of them ignored me, some of them acted like I was a bug they stepped on. It was actually a lot like my first year at Hogwarts. It was stressful, but in a way it was fitting. I felt like I was starting my life over again, so it was a bit like I was a first year.

The classes, were just the right level of challenging. Sometimes I had to work hard to grasp what the teacher was talking about, because they were referencing lessons I never had. Other times, it was just like being with my old classmates, I had done enough reading that I knew the answers to the questions that were being asked. It no longer felt important to be the first to answer a question though. I raised my hand if no one else had, but I left it at that. The need to prove myself had passed. I felt secure in the knowledge that I had proven myself. Or perhaps I just felt secure because of where I was at in my life. I couldn't be certain which one it was.

I fell into a routine fairly quickly. I took my meals with the boys, went to my lessons where I refrained from developing an attachment to any of my peers, I spent my evening with Severus in his chambers, and then I returned to Gryffindor tower at curfew and finished any homework and went to bed. I kept up with my exercises and added running back in before bed, to try and get back in shape before the tournament. My running was still a bit shaky, but I was close, so close to being free of an malingering physical issues.

Harry was completely supportive of me, but Ron was more than hinting that he thought I should stop spending so much time down in the dungeons. I was starting to realize that maybe it was more than disliking Severus that was upsetting Ron. With how he was acting, and how irrational all of responses were, I was starting to think that the real bee in his bonnet was that he had feelings for me. I didn't want to further damage our relationship by drawing that out into the open so I added frequent conversations to try and appease Ron to my routine.

The routine was great, it was balanced with clean lines of black and white. I was certain there were no gray areas in my life for me to worry about. There was an entire blissful month were I believed that those gray areas did not exist, and then at breakfast I received a note from a first year that told me my attendance was required at a meeting in the headmasters office straight away. I abandoned my toast, and made my way up to the meeting, offering spiced rum as the password, assuming the post script saying the headmaster enjoyed it meant that was the password.

The gargoyle slid to the side and revealed the revolving staircase so I proceeded forward trying to predict what this was going to be about. When I reached the landing, I saw that the door was open, and Severus was waiting in the office as well as Dumbledore.

"Have a seat Miss Granger," Dumbledore said with a soft smile which would have soothed my nerves if Severus didn't look so unhappy.

I took the seat nearest Severus and because of his stiff body language and angry demeanor I didn't take his hand in mine, even though I was sure it would make me feel a little better. I sat up straight in my chair, and waited for Dumbledore to announce whatever this meeting is about.

"As you know, you are both of legal and consenting age," Dumbledore began, and my eyes snapped over to my better half, his blank face telling me he already knew what I was about to hear. "So there is no question to the legitimacy of your relationship from a legal stand point, but there is a bit of an issue with the school bylaws. And issue that I had been willing to overlook up until now."

He paused, and I wracked my brain for things I had read in Hogwarts: A history. He still hadn't spoken when I struck upon the answer in my memory. Relationships between students and professors were strictly prohibited.

"I believe I may have read about that in Hogwarts: A History," I said quietly, staring at the desk in front of me. "But if I might ask, why did enforcing that rule become such an issue today?"

"To be frank it became an issue last night," Severus drawled from beside me, and I could practically feel the rage rolling off of him.

I thought about how last night I had stayed past curfew in his chambers last night. I had been unwilling to untangle my limbs from him and go back to my dorm. Inexplicably my heart raced at the fear that he had grown tired of my clingy nature. Perhaps this had become an issue because he didn't like having to stand guard while I snuck up to my bed to keep me from getting a detention.

"What happened last night?" I asked, my voice coming out strangled at the thought that Severus was using Dumbledore to dump me.

"Last night I received a complaint from a student about the propriety of your relationship," Dumbledore said, and my mind ground gears trying to get on whatever thread he was on. "Because a student has been made to feel uncomfortable by your relationship, I am going to have to enforce the bylaws, and ask that you two stop seeing each other until the end of the school year."

I blinked at the silence that fell in the room. I was trying to decipher what those words really meant, trying to figure out why Severus would chose to do it this way, and trying to keep myself from crying about the whole situation. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and stealing myself to get through this.

"Who was the student?" I asked, my eyes still closed.

"This student came to me with the understanding that their concerns would be kept in confidence," Dumbledore said quietly.

"In order for me to believe this really came from a student," I breathed barely louder than a whisper, as I turned to look at Severus screaming at myself internally when I felt the tears start to spring up in my eyes. "I'm going to need a name."

"It was Ronald Weasley," Severus gasped at me, his face tightening as what I was really asking him sunk in. "Hermione, I would never… you though?"

He let his question hang in the air, and I just breathed, trying to keep from crying. Relief that he hadn't been dumping me didn't erase the devastation that we were going to have to break up anyway. I just stared into his eyes, both of us communicating our pain without speaking, unable to move forward with the conversation.

"This is the very issue with a relationship between a student and a professor," Dumbledore said tiredly. "You have just given privileged information to a student Severus."

"She thought I was using you to dump her," Severus argued. "What was I supposed to do? Just let her think I would mistreat her to such an extent."

"I understand that the assumption would be stressful, but you could have assured her that it was in fact a student, without giving the name." he replied quietly. "But you didn't. And the attachment between you too, is leading to the impropriety that is making this student uncomfortable. You will have to cease and desist until the end of the year or I will have to take firm disciplinary action."

I opened my mouth to shoot of some retort and my lips trembled. I snapped my mouth shut and stared up at the ceiling trying to get myself under control. When I instead felt the tears building up in my eyes threatening to fall, I stood from my chair and leveled my gaze with the headmaster.

"As you wish sir," I choked out, turning on my heel to hurry out of the room as the battle to keep the tears at bay was lost.

I heard Severus call after me, but then I heard Dumbledore tell him to sit down. It broke my heart a little bit more to hear that he listened, there were no footsteps following me. I flew down the stairs, and out into the corridors. I should have been looking for the nearest bathroom to avoid embarrassing myself, but instead I was searching for Ron.

If I had been a fourth year, I would be heading to transfiguration after breakfast, so I headed in that direction. I didn't even have to go all the way to the classroom to find him. He was walking along with Harry laughing about some joke. Laughing like he was the happiest man in the world, I wanted to smash his smart little face right into a wall.

"Ronald Weasley," I shouted at him, stopping both boys in their tracks.

Harry looked shocked, but Ron looked like he was going to vomit when he saw how angry I was.

"Hermione?" Harry questioned.

But I wasn't listening to him. I closed the space between us at a run, and I cocked my arm back with the intention of punching him in the face. At the last second I opened my hand, and only slapped him, but it was not a joking slap.

"You son of a bitch," I screeched at him, slapping him again before harry could pull me off of him. "If you think for one second, that this means I would date you, you have lost your ever loving mind."

"What is going on?" Harry asked as he pulled me bodily into a side corridor keeping himself between the two of us.

"He is an arse," I shouted over Harry's shoulder at Ron, and then the anger fled out of me and I just started crying.

"Hermione tell me what happened," Harry asked, sounding panicked as he hugged me and tried to stop me from crying.

"He went to Dumbledore," I hiccoughed. "He made Severus and I have to break up."

"You're sure it was Ron" Harry said, sounding confused at the very idea.

"Yes I'm sure," I yelled at him trying to push out of his hug, but he just tightened his hold.

"Okay, okay, I believe you," he said soothingly. "We'll deal with him later. Why don't we get you up to the common room, or your room or something?"

I nodded at him, trying to brush away my tears and gather myself for at least the trek to somewhere more private. Harry stayed with me all the way to the common room, and it was nice of him, but I waved him off with instructions to go to class before I retreated to the girls dormitory and burrowed in under the blankets to have a good cry.

I kept telling myself I would just take a few minutes, and let the tears run their course. Just a few minutes, and then I would pick myself up and go to class. But minutes turned into hours, and before I knew it I had been crying all day, and I was pulling my curtains closed while trying to hide my swollen eyes, and casting a silencing charm so the other girls wouldn't be disturbed by my apparently unending tears.

Every time I thought I might be able to get a grip on how I was feeling, I would remember another moment with Severus. I would try to stop the tears, but I would remember another soft kiss, or gentle caress and the tears would renew once more. I was up most of the night crying, but I did eventually fall into a fitful sleep. A sleep that was unfairly full of dreams about Severus that had me feeling even worse in when I woke up in the morning.

I felt even worse when I saw my swollen face in the mirror and I realized that I had a double potions lesson first thing this morning. How was I supposed to face him with the knowledge that I couldn't be with him, and looking like this no less.

One of the girls came into the bathroom while I was washing my face and spared me a sad look in the mirror before disappearing. I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when she came right back in and I thought about screaming. But she walked over to me, handed over a tube of concealer, told me to keep it, and made her way back out into the main room. I looked at the tube of concealer, and looked at my red splotchy face in the mirror. She might not be Harry, but she knew what I needed right now. I'd have to thank her later.

I did my best to make my face look like something other than the face of a girl who had been up most of the night crying. My face still looked pretty swollen when I was done, but at least it wasn't red anymore. I gave up any more improvements, and went to throw on clothes that I hadn't been wearing for 24 hours.

Somehow, even though I felt like my life was over, I managed to pick up my things and made my way down to the dungeon for class. I focused on my hands as I went through the motion of setting out my books and all of my ingredients. I put everything in perfect order, and then slowly, very slowly I took my seat. Once I was seated, I had to look away from my hands. So I looked up, and even though I was in a classroom full of other students all I saw was Severus. He was standing with arms crossed over his chest facing the class. He spoke as if nothing was wrong, but I could see how his eyes were tinged red around the edges, and his hair hadn't been washed.

He was hurting to. I didn't want him to hurt, but it was a balm to my heart to know that I wasn't the only one hurting, I wasn't alone in this. I breathed a shaky sigh at that and set to work on the potion he had assigned.

-`-'-

We were trying to follow the rules, but we were both suffering. I struggled to focus on my studies, and often found myself wandering down to the basement, barely catching myself before entering his chambers. Harry was doing his best to try and cheer me up, but if he smuggled me one more dish of ice cream out of the great hall I was going to strangle him. Any frustration at his apparent effort to make me fat, were forgiven for his staunch stance of not speaking to Ron either.

Ron had yet to try and apologize, but I could see that he was upset that his scheme hadn't worked out the way he had expected. I imagine he had expected that he would file his complaint, and I would come running into his arms for comfort. Then I would fall madly in love with him, and we would both living happily ever after. Imagine his surprise when I assaulted him in the hallway and then refused to speak with him and essentially stole away his best friend.

So any time he tried to approach me, I just dove head first into whatever ridiculous dessert Harry had plied me with that day and pretended he didn't exist. I had to bump my exercise routine up to two hours in the morning and two miles as night so I wouldn't get fat from my avoidance tactics, but it was worth it to keep Ron at a distance.

Just before Halloween I was absolutely drowning in my misery, and just dragging myself out of bed felt like a challenge. I was struggling to tread water without Severus beside me like he had been for so long now, and Harry must have realized how bad it had gotten, because on the morning the other schools were set to arrive he met me at the base of the stairs leading up to the girl's dormitory with a letter in hand. He handed it over with a soft smile and told me he'd meet me at breakfast.

 _Hermione,_

 _Your friend came to me after class demanding I pass you a note like a prepubescent child. Which is why I originally objected, but I must say, the prospect of speaking to you again about something other than potion ingredients is more than a little exciting. I've missed everything about you, but the simple conversations we had while eating breakfast, or laying together in front of the fire have been most difficult to give up. For years I have prided myself on being the reserved, if not scary, potions master. But now I think of myself as the Severus to your Hermione. And it is hard to be that person when there is no Hermione in my arms._

 _I can see that things have been incredibly hard on you as well, but I wanted to encourage you try and get back into the swing of things. There are only nine more months until you will be finished here at Hogwarts, and I am hopeful that we can make it through. That is what I find most amazing about you, you have made me hopeful. So I look forward to the end of the year, and I love you so much. Remember that when you are entering and winning the Triwizard tournament._

 _Severus_

It wasn't what most people would consider the most romantic letter in the world, but it was exactly what I needed. I had physical evidence of his love for me in my hands, and it bolstered me enough to get up and go to class. It even reminded me of how excited I had been for the Tournament. So I put some effort into my appearance for the first time in a month and made my way to class without a bounce in my step, but at least I wasn't dragging my feet today.

* * *

 **Ch12:Songs for this chapter: I Try by Macy Gray and Mind Heist by Zach Hemsey**

 **SPOV**

I was embarrassed, not that I would admit that to anyone. I had given in the ridiculous pressure of a fourteen year old boy to write a sympathetic and loving letter to a woman. When had I become the man who did such things? And if that little twit read the letter before he gave it to Hermione I would find myself even more embarrassed. What had I done it? She already knew I loved her; I didn't need to put something so feminine on paper.

I left my chambers, and went to the potions classroom to suffer through morning with first and second years respectfully before grabbing a bite for lunch. They were, insufferable, as usual, but at least it distracted me from feel the mortification that was hiding away at the back of my mind.

I was still mentally berating myself when I left to trudge up to the great hall, and I ran into a nervous looking Harry Potter. The boy looked nervous, but he offered a half smile and extended his hand out with a folded bit of parchment.

"She swore she'd murder me if I read that," he said as I reached out to take the note from him. "Then she turned five shades of purple at the thought of me reading it… so yeah enjoy reading that."

The boy hurried off with a glowing face, and I looked down at the note in my hand wondering what the girl could have written to inspire such embarrassment in the boy. I turned back around, deciding to have lunch in my chambers instead, and I opened the note. I was expecting a verbose but well written love note. Instead the note was short and to the point. And it made quite the point. Instead of writing about how much she missed me and loved me, she wrote a play by play description of our rendezvous in the breakfast nook in my chambers shortly before that unpleasant meeting in the headmaster's office.

So now did I not only miss her, I was pathetically sitting in my chambers alone with an over powering feeling of arousal, and no way of dealing with it that didn't feel completely barbaric or desperate. In the moments after reading that note, when I knew I couldn't go to her, but desperately wanted to, I wanted to physically assault Albus Dumbledore.

Instead, I forewent lunch, and took a cold shower before going to teach the last lesson of the afternoon before Durmstrang and Beauxbaton were set to arrive. I set the third years to work on a boil relief serum, and spent the entire lesson trying desperately not to think about the breakfast nook and all the wonderful things we did there.

I managed to make it all the way through the lesson, rounding up my Slytherin students to make them presentable, and joining the rest of the school to await the arrival in the court yard. But then I saw her, standing next to Harry Potter, the two of them staunchly ignoring their red headed companion, and it was much harder. She caught my eye, a smile quirking her lips, and suddenly all I could think about were those lips wrapped around— Luckily the Beauxbaton carriage chose that moment to arrive, and gave me something to think about that wouldn't get me fired.

I attempted to focus on the two school, and their silly presentations meant to impress one another, but my eyes just kept wandering to the Gryffindor girl who was biting her lip and playing with the hair that was starting to grow out at the nape of her neck. It had been too long since I had run my fingers through that hair. It looked like it was getting longer, and she had taken to wearing a bit of makeup, so her lips had a gentle sheen that reminded me how they looked right after she licked them.

Albus gave a small speech, before Barty Crouch stood and went on and on about the rules and regulations, but I barely listened to them. Instead I watched Hermione listening avidly to them, her eyes alight like they usually did during a particularly intriguing lesson. I watched her laugh with Harry when the twins groaned at the announcement that an age line would be placed around the goblet of fire, and I wondered if she had a plan to help him circumvent the age line. I missed having the option to bring that up in casual conversation over an evening tea.

The feast eventually broke up, and I followed the flow of the crowd out of the great hall into the entrance hall. The goblet of fire was the focus of most peoples' attention, but I was watching Hermione, who had just noticed the final resting place for the Dropa Stone. An article had run in the paper that it was being mounting into the wall at Hogwarts, to be put on display as a historic monument to the victory that had taken place on these very grounds, but I got the impression from her shocked face, that she hadn't heard anything about it.

She walked over to it, and gently ran her fingers over the stone, that fit so well into the stone wall around it. I could see the wheels in her mind as she looked at it. I could feel her worrying that it was unsafe there. The he might somehow get free.

"It's not the real stone," I whispered into her ear, standing close enough that I could reach out and run my hand across her spin if we weren't in a public place. "The real stone is locked away in the headmaster's office."

"Oh good," she sighed, turning to face me, her hand twitching like she was about to reach out for me. "It would be awfully easy for someone to steal it from here. Steal it and try to let the soul back out."

"No need to worry about that," I said, shifting a bit closer to her, fighting the urge to just pull her into my arms. "Precautions have been taken."

"Good," she said quietly, but I saw that she was just staring at my mouth, seemingly unable to focus on anything else.

"I liked your letter," I told her in a deep voice, licking my lips and sliding a few inches closer.

"Severus, my boy," Albus interrupted clapping his hand on my shoulder and steering me away from Hermione. "Come speak with Karkaroff with me."

I got a flash of a very disappointed looking Hermione sweeping out of the entrance hall before I was ushered off to great a man I would have been happy never to see again. He looked as unkempt now as he did when he was a death eater, but I had to smile and pretend I actually enjoyed his company. It felt like Albus was punishing me for noticing some sort of indiscretion between Hermione and me, but logically I knew he was using me as a subtle reminder to Karkaroff that he should be on his best behavior. Karkaroff was a wizard that was supposed to be on the straight and narrow, but he was teaching the dark arts at his school so the content of his character was in question. And if there was one wizard other than the Dark Lord that Igor Karkaroff was afraid of, it was me.

So I put in my time intimidating a shifty guest, and then begrudging my missed opportunity with my beautiful woman, I trudged back to my quarters and sat down in front of the fire with a tall glass of fire whiskey. I sipped my drink and gave in to my masochistic nature and read Hermione's letter once more. I was of half a mind to send it back to her with corrections marked in with red ink, telling her exactly how I would like to recreate that memory right here on my sitting room chair.

-`-'-

In the end I had gone to bed without penning a new letter to Hermione. I would have the opportunity to see her at tonight's feast, and I would much rather insinuate what I would like to do her with subtle whispers in passing so I might enjoy her reactions. If I gave her a letter, she would likely read it in private, and then I would not get to see any reaction whatsoever.

So I arrived at the nights feast with the most un-noble of intentions, with my eyes peeled for the bright eyed precocious little witch. Once seated at the head table I spotted her laughing at something some had said halfway down the Gryffindor table, and she looked radiant tonight. She was wearing a simple white sweater, and black slacks under her school robes, but there was just something about her that was glowing tonight.

The feast came to a close, and the champion selection ceremony began. The lights of the hall were dimmed, and the goblet of fire began to grow more brightly. Sparks began to shoot up out of it as the flame turned red, and a tongue of fire danced through the air. When it receded a piece of parchment was fluttering in the air. Albus reached out to pull it from the air, and we all waited as patiently as possible for him to reach the name aloud.

"The champion for Hogwarts will be," he said, turning to face out toward the crowd. "Hermione Granger."

I joined the round of uproarious applause, but I had to bit my lips to keep from chuckling when I saw Harry have to nudge her up out of her seat. It seemed she hadn't believed she would get picked, because she was quite shocked to find herself walking up to enter the room where the champions would be meeting.

Fortunately I was sitting at the end of the table, so she had to pass directly in front of me to pass through the door into the room behind the head table. Unfortunately, the entire hall was watching her, so all I could get away with was offering her a smile, and placing my hand strategically on the edge of the table so she might accidentally brush against me as she passed. I was rewarded with her licking her lips before smiling at me, and deliberately brushing her hip against me as she walked by.

She continued on into the room, and I listened to the other two champions being announced. I clapped without enthusiasm both because I didn't really care who the other champions were, and because it had just occurred to me that because Hermione had been chosen she would have to stay in the side room for a meeting, and I would not get to whisper anything into her ear at all. I would have to leave and go back to my quarters so my behavior would not seem abnormal. Suddenly I was not nearly as excited for Hermione to be a champion as I had been seconds ago.

And to be honest, I didn't like the looks of Viktor Krum. He seemed surly, irritable, and altogether not someone I wanted to be spending too much time around Hermione. I made a mental note to keep an eye on the hulking profligate, and then I made my way out of the great hall and retreated to my chambers.

-`-'-

 **HPOV**

Barty Crouch explained that they would not be telling us what the first task was going to be. He told us when the task was to be, and where we were supposed to me, and then he sent us all on our way. I tried not to pout as I walked through the empty castle corridors making my way back to Gryffindor tower, without having had the chance to even say hello to Severus.

I realized that my night wasn't going to be as quiet as I was expecting when I entered the seventh floor corridor and I could already hear a ruckus coming from the tower. I sighed at the juvenile idea of a party celebrating absolutely nothing, and then I continued on my path to the portrait of the fat lady. I offered up the password, and I was nearly bowled over by the tumult of sound that greeted me. I had expected some spectacle after the challenges, but a party for my name coming out of a cup?

I put on a smile and pretended I didn't think the whole thing didn't feel like an excuse to keep me away from Severus once more. I accepted high fives, and hugs, and the occasional fist bump for my success. Everyone was excited for me, and there were snacks to be had. I joined in the laughter and cheering, and once I loosened up a little I actually had fun. And to my very great surprise, as the party went on, not only did he congratulate me, but Ron apologized for his uncalled for outburst over my relationship with Severus.

"I'll go to Dumbledore tomorrow," he said over the loud chatter while handing me a butter beer. "I'll tell him I was just trying to make you mad, that I don't actually have any issue with the relationship."

"No it's okay Ron" I sighed. "I don't think it would do any good at this point."

"Still, I'm sorry," he pushed looking squeamish. "I feel like such a jerk."

"Well, you kind of are," I agreed with a laugh. "But if I stopped being friends with you every time you were a jerk… well you never would have been friends."

It was passive aggressive, but he laughed at it. He laughed, so I laughed, and then somehow we were hugging and the fight was just over. How our relationship worked, I would never know. The party went on for a long time, but I eventually snuck off so I could go to sleep, and somehow the party kept going. I fell asleep to the sounds of laughter and loud talking.

I expected to just go to class the next day, and as it turned out, I really hadn't thought how different things were going to be if I were actually chosen to be a Triwizard Champion. I was intercepted on my way to charms by a first year that was sent to collect me. As I followed them to the new location I was expected to be in I was torn between wondering what all would be expected of me in a wand weighing ceremony and why it always seemed to be a first year that was sent to collect someone. Didn't the first years ever actually attend class?

The first year disappeared as soon my hand touched the door to the room where the ceremony was going to take place, and I shook my head in confusion and walked into the room. I saw the judges, as well as Rita Skeeter and her photographer, and Mr. Olivander. I pushed my, albeit fake, press photo into place and walked into the room. I was, still holding my wand as I walked in, and when I was blinded by the flash of a camera, I found myself wishing both that I had pocketed my wand, and that I had worn something more formal that my jeans, polo, and jacket. I hadn't even put on my robes today, knowing that we were going to be doing our charms lesson outside, and it was a little two warm for a jacket and robes.

Rita Skeeter attempted to wrangle me, but luckily Dumbledore announced that it was time to begin the ceremony, and I breathed a sigh of relief. I took a seat beside the beautiful but frigid champion who had the very annoying habit of tossing her long blonde hair over her shoulder when she was in close proximity to me. I ignored her and looked down at my wand which looked surprisingly nice considering I hadn't polished it since the beginning of October.

-`-'-

 **SPOV**

I hadn't worried about my propriety in the slightest when I had wanted to whisper inappropriate things to my love in a hall full of other people. But now, two days after that, when I found myself gawking at a photo of said woman in the paper and thinking of entirely improper things I would like to do to her. I barely skimmed the article, more distracted by her blushing photo, that I could swear knew who was looking at it, because she kept looking up at me through her thick lashes in that way that she did before kissing me.

I gathered enough from the article to know that there was going to be a bit of an uproar from the other schools champions when they saw that the article that was supposed to expound on all three of their attributes was essentially written about Hermione only. Fleur Delacour and Viktor Krum were mentioned in passing, tagged on the end of a sentence about how the wizarding world was safe because of the actions of their compatriot.

Surprisingly, it was the entirety of Hogwarts that came to Hermione's defense when the other schools students accused her of being a press monger. The biggest surprise had to be when Slytherin's own Draco Malfoy nearly went fist to cuff with a French boy who suggested that Hermione was sleeping with someone at the daily prophet. From what I gathered from him all the shouting, Draco had been extremely affect by Hermione (and myself) putting a stop to his families involvement with the Dark Arts, not to mention his father nearly killing the girl.

I could tell by the distinct lack of panic that Hermione had no idea he had taken to following her in the hallway as some sort of body guard. It wasn't likely that she would need it, both because no one was trying to attack her, and because Hermione was much more accomplished magically than he could hope to be. Not to mention that Remus Lupin had also taken a special interest in assuring that no one caused any trouble for the young Gryffindor and strategically placed himself in the hallways between every class so he could keep an eye on her. I should have been thankful, but since his watchful eye kept me from going to Hermione myself, I sometimes found myself regretting the choice to keep his werewolf nature to myself.

There had been a moment last year, when I had just lost my order of merlin first class when I had seriously considered letting that slip. I had wanted someone to hurt, and he was a prime target, but instead I had gone to the hospital wing to make sure Hermione was okay, and our futures had become vastly different in a short amount of time.

I had never told her how much that night had affected me. I had been fighting the urge to pull her into my arms the entire time I had been in that decrepit old room in the shrieking shack with them. I had still been fighting that urge when she had helped her friends to stun me. As he professor, and an old friend, I should have been angry, but when I woke up from being stunned all I could really feel was continued fear for her safety. Somehow between the time I had found her with Lupin and Black she had gotten herself into more trouble.

Even today I could remember the fear I had felt when I realized that she had been forced to flee from a fully turned werewolf, and of all the places she could have chosen, she ran towards the lake, which was surrounded by far too many dementors for any one location. Dementors who had been starved for feelings of happiness for some time, and found themselves not only in the presence of their target, but two lively young students full of a plethora of emotions.

I had never, and would never explain to Hermione, the immense panic I had felt as I ran towards the lake, seeing her collapsed form on the ground near the water's edge, with a dementor releasing her from its clutches. For one terrible moment I had thought he was releasing her because he had already sucked her soul from her body, but then I had seen the patronus chasing away the dementors.

So I had taken her to the hospital wing, and through several bouts of time travel I had lost my order of merlin, gained a new one, and finally acted on my feelings for Hermione Granger. The night's events had pushed any thought of outing Lupin from my mind. This was the first time since then I had reconsidered that my decision.

I was honestly starting to wonder if this was all worth it. Was keeping my job worth feeling this miserable all of the time? Why not just walk up and kiss her right in front of Lupin, let him report me to Dumbledore, and leave this job for something else. Something where I don't have to fall asleep at night in an empty bed?

Because Hermione would be punished as well. The thought nagged at me every time I thought about bucking the rules. Because as much as I wanted to just throw caution to the wind, I knew how important graduating from Hogwarts was to her. She had already given up too much for me, I wouldn't ask her to give up this simple thing. I could hold out until she had a diploma in her hand. Couldn't I? Merlin I hoped so.

-`-'-

I got the impression as November wore on that the entire faculty knew what the upcoming task was, but not a soul would speak about it in my presence. The days marched forward, and I got fewer glimpses of Hermione outside of class. She was missing meals, and I would have been more worried about her, but when she appeared in her classes she seemed fine. She must be eating elsewhere right? I wanted to know where she was going for her meals, but I couldn't very well ask her if I was never seeing her.

It was with these thoughts clouding my mind that I held Harry Potter after class a few days before the first task was to take place. As all of the fourth years were cleaning up their things, and filtering out of the classroom I called out for the boy to stay behind, and then I waited silently at my desk for the rest of the students to leave. Potter finished gathering up his things, and came to stand in front of my desk. He had a small smile on his face, that simultaneous reassured me that he knew what I wanted to know, and made me want to smack him.

"Why hasn't she been too lunch in a week?" I asked him after the last student had disappeared. "Is she ill? Has her depression returned? What is going on?"

"We've been holed up in the room of requirement practicing all sorts of spells," he answered quickly. "Ron and I have been helping her prepare for the first task. And there has been food, I promise."

"Ronald Weasley is involved?" I asked stiffly, backing up from my desk so I wouldn't be tempted to smash something on it.

"Yes, he apologized, and she forgave him" Harry hedged, taking a step back himself, like he thought I might strike him. "He feels awful about how things turned out, and not just because it didn't lead to Hermione running into his arms."

I scoffed before I could control my reaction. I folded my arms over my chest, and fought to regain my composure.

"Hermione isn't missing any meals, and she isn't ill," the boy said with a smile. "And she isn't depressed, not to say that she's happy exactly. She misses you, and she hates that on top of not being able to spend time with you she's become some sort of villain to the guests at this school because of Rita Skeeter."

"That woman is foul," I agreed readily, stopping myself before I complimented her photographer.

"Well we agree on that," Harry chuckled. "Do you want me to tell her anything sir?"

"Uhm, just say that I said hello," I grumbled. "And uh, wish her luck this weekend. I'll be there rooting for her."

He nodded his head, and left the classroom without further ado. I couldn't decide if I should be thankful that he was such a willing messenger, or if I should be angered by the juvenile situation I had been forced to partake in if I wished o have any contact with my girlfriend. That didn't seem the proper title for her though. She was more than just some girlfriend. She had come to fill a place in my heart that had been filled by Lily Evans for too many years. Yet I was hesitant to use the same term to describe her lest it jinx her somehow. If I were to call her the love of my life, would she meet the same fate as the last person I had referred to by those same words? Maybe I should call her my intended? Only saying that out loud would require admitting that I admit that I had intentions, and I wasn't even sure Hermione was ready to hear something like that, let alone anyone else.

-`-'-

 **HPOV**

The morning of the challenge finally came, and honestly I thought I might vomit. I had no idea what I was walking in to, and whatever it was, I was going to face whatever this was with a lot of people watching me. Why exactly had I thought entering this tournament was a good idea? I attempted to focus on the transfiguration lesson I was attending, but instead I was thinking about the possibilities of the challenge being to capture a chimera, or having to break through a bunch of curses.

I'd been reading up on previous tournaments, and all of the tasks had been barbaric at best. I could see where all the prestige of winning came from, though to be fair everyone should probably receive an award for simply surviving the tournament at all. I would survive this tournament. I just kept repeating that phrase to myself as I left the second lesson I had taken nothing from, and went off to a lunch I was not likely to eat.

I sat beside Harry pushing my mash around my plate contemplating what I would do if the challenge involved flying, since let's face it; I was not the world's greatest flyer. I wasn't even the world's only sort of okay flyer. I was just one broken wrist away from being just as bad at flying as Neville.

"Miss Granger," a voice called, and I looked up to see Professor McGonagall staring at me from the other side of the able. "It's time to head down for the first task."

I nodded, and pulled myself up from the table to follow her, relieved that my legs still seemed to be working. We walked briskly out of the castle, and down toward the forest. It seemed my guesses about some sort of animal being involved were the more likely options now. Why else have it in the forest. And of course, the one subject in school I was not outstanding in was care of magical creatures! Maybe it would be a hippogriff. I could totally handle a hippogriff.

McGonagall led me right into a tent, where I saw Delacour and Krum were already pacing about. I bypassed them and went to sit in the unoccupied chair off in the corner, and watched them pace while we waited for the judges to arrive. I watch how Krum always walked five paces to the left, and then only four paces to the right, so he was ever so slowly edging his way toward the exit. I wondered if he knew he was doing that. I saw that Delacour tended to shift her weight back and forth before walking forward. She would repeat the little shifting routine, and then turn around and walk back the way she came. But what I noticed most was that while they both looked nervous, neither of them looked terrified.

They looked resolved. Maybe I was developing a very suspicious personality, but I could swear they looked like they already knew what was coming. Was I the only one who was actually going into this challenge blind? I was considering just flat out asking them, when Ludo Bagman bounced into the tent far more cheerily than this moody tent warranted.

"Alright ladies and gents the time has come," he cheered rubbing his hands together before reaching behind him to take something from Barty Crouch, who I had not even noticed entering the tent. "Everyone gather round."

We silently created a circle around him, and I saw that what he had grabbed was a blue silk bag. A bag that was writhing about, like there was a live snakes in it or something similar.

"There is a miniature of what each of you will be facing here in this bag," he went on, extending the bag out in front of them. "They each have a number on them, so your pick will also determine the order in which you compete."

So challenge number one, reach into that bag without revealing my fear that a snake might bite me the second I stuck my hand in that bag.

"Ladies first," Bagman said with a smile, and the extended the bag out toward Fleur.

A little part of me felt slighted that apparently Delacour was the only woman in the tent, but the rest of me was relieved that I got to see someone else stick their hand in first. I watched her face closely as she reached tentatively into the bag. I saw the slightest twitch of her brow as she fumbled around in the bag, and I wondered if she had been bitten. She pulled her hand out of the blue bag, and in her hand I saw that she had a tiny little dragon crawling around in the palm of her hand

A freakin' dragon! And her face stayed resolved. Not the tiniest flicker of surprise. She had known we were facing dragons.

"The Welsh Green," Bagman announced like she had pulled out the keys to a brand new car. "And you will be going first. Congratulations"

Delacour nodded her head respectfully, and then looked down at her tiny dragon a subtly green hue taking over her features. Bagman extended the bag out toward me with an expectant smile, so I resolved myself to picking my own dragon.

I reached in, doing my best not to react to the feeling of the two remaining miniature dragons climbing over my fingers. I closed my hand over one, and bit my tongue so I would not show a reaction on my face when I felt the sting of what I assumed was that little brat biting me. I pulled my hand out and revealed a tiny dragon that appeared to be covered in horns, on its entire body. Great.

"The Hungarian Horntail," Bagman cheered. "That one is a doozy, and that pick means that you will compete last."

He held the bag out to Krum, and part of his pick was already revealed, he would be going second. We just had to find out what his dragon would be. He reached in and snatched it out quickly, probably to avoid being bitten much like I had. He opened his hand to reveal the dragon, and I saw the same resigned but focused look on his face. I really was the only one who hadn't known we'd be facing dragons.

"The Chinese Fireball," Bagman announced, again like it was some sort of treat. "You'll be second."

There was a pause where Krum nodded, and then we all stared at Bagman expectantly. He had the answers that at least I needed, I had to assume the other two knew all of the details to the challenge already.

"The dragons you will be facing today are nesting," he explained, and I clenched my jaw shut tightly to refrain from groaning. "You will need to retrieve a golden egg which is sitting in their nest. You will be scored on how well you do, but keep in mind that retrieving the egg is a very important component to moving on to the next task."

We all nodded to show that we understood. I was glad he didn't need a verbal response because I was fairly sure I was going to vomit. Not only was I going to face a dragon, but it was a mother with eggs in her nest. I might as well just set myself on fire right now and get it over with.

"I'm going to go get set up, and when you hear a gong, it will announce that it is the first champions turn," he explained. "After each champion goes there will be a small break where the scores will be given, and the new dragons will be brought in, so just wait until you hear another gong to announce your turn."

We all nodded once more. He turned on his heel and bounced out of the tent with Barty Crouch following behind him. Krum and Delacour went back to pacing and went and sat on my chair once more. I cast a freezing spell on my miniature dragon and put it in my pocket so I wouldn't have to deal with it while trying to figure out how I was going to deal with its monstrous counter part.

I was feeling panicked and absolutely ill so I dropped my head in my hands and focused on my breathing, barely noting the first gong that announced Delacour was taking her go at the dragon. I ran through everything I knew about dragons in my mind, and realized other than knowing that Norwegians Ridgebacks weren't poisonous and tended to obliterate teddy bears, I didn't really know much about dragons.

There hide was thick and difficult to penetrate with magic, which was why our gloves were made from it. So whatever I came up with, would have to be very powerful magic. I needed something quick and powerful, but nothing I could think of would work. It would take multiple wizards shooting stunners at the same time to take down a full grown dragon, not to mention I wouldn't want to end up crushing the eggs under the weight of an unconscious dragon.

No I needed a way to get rid of the dragon all together. I just had no idea how to do that. If I could get the dragon to fly away that might work. Could I conjure something that might make the dragon fly away? I was contemplating that when I heard a second gong and I turned to watch Krum skulk out of the tent.

He was gone, and my turn was going to be very soon, and I still didn't have an answer. Somehow, time travel seemed so much more straight forward. It seemed simple when I was trying to come up with a way to get rid of a dragon.

I started pacing back and forth, trying to find some sort answer for getting rid of the dragon. I half-heartedly listening to cheers and other muffled sounds coming from outside the tent. There was a tumult of sound that I assumed meant Krum had finished. I sucked in a deep breath, fighting the urge to just run away, and walked to stand in front of the opening to the tent.

The gong went off, and I walked forward, each step shakier than the last, and I tried to convince myself that yes, I would survive walking off to face a dragon with absolutely no plan whatsoever. I stepped into the clearing, and I saw the raised stands where everyone sat watching. I saw the rocks that stood in between the dragon and me. And I saw the dragon. It was huge, and black, and the spikes seemed so much larger and formidable up close like this. I held my wand in front of me fighting to keep my wand arm from shaking, and trying to figure out what I was going to do.

I took a tiny step forward, and the dragon turned to face me, roaring its rage that I dare enter the same clearing. I sucked in more air, hoping it would help me think better, but apparently that sound offended the dragon, because it opened its jaws and sent a stream of fire shooting in my direction.

I stifled a scream, and on instinct turned on the spot. I prayed to God that we were far enough into the forest that we had breached the school bounds, and focused on appeared somewhere that the dragon could not attack me with fire.

Thankfully I felt the suffocation pressure of apparition, and I was no long facing a horrible stream of fire. I would have been relieved, but I realized that I was on the dragon. I found myself perched on the back of the dragon, barely keeping my footing on a long spike. I probably should have laughed, I mean the back of a dragon was the one place I would be safe from the fiery mouth, but this dragon had a big spikey tail it could use to kill me.

So I had to do something from my position on the dragon's back to get it out of the arena so I could steal its egg. And then it came to me, like I had planned this all along. All I had to do was get rid of the dragon, and I was in prime position to do it. I wrapped my fist around a spike a foot above my head, and then I focused my mind on where they were keeping the dragons when they weren't in this arena. I rolled to the side, keeping a tight grip on the dragon, and then I drug us both the space, disappearing from the arena and reappearing in a clearing where several dragon trainers were trying to settle down the Chinese Fireball that was clearly still upset.

"Here," I called, letting go of the spike that was holding me on the dragons back. "Have a dragon."

I dropped off the dragon, focusing on the arena once more, and I flipped myself over mid fall so I would disappear before hitting the ground that was being trampled by a now very angry mother dragon. I reappeared in the now empty clearing, barely managing to land on my feet. I could hear that Bagman was making some sort of announcement, but I focused on that shiny golden egg sitting in the middle of the nest. I sprinted forward and plucked it out of the nest, surprised by how heavy it was.

Now that I had the egg in my hand, the world seemed to have returned to normal. I could hear the crowd yelling, and I could also hear Bagman making his announcements. I spared a glance up at the crowd as I made my way out of the arena, and I saw Severus cheering along with every else, looking like the happy man that I rarely got to see outside of his chambers.

"And that has to be a record," Bagman cheered. "Miss Granger retrieved the egg in an amazing 45 seconds."

I couldn't help it, I punched the air in success. I stood at the edge of the clearing, realizing I had no idea what I was supposed to do now. There wasn't anyone else around for me to ask what I was supposed to be doing, so I just waited there.

Apparently it was the right choice, because the judges began to show my scores, and I had a prime seat for seeing them. Bagman announced his first, waving his wand through the air in excitement. He revealed a ten, and from what I understood from reading about the tournament the first task was usually scored out of a total possible of fifty, so starting off with ten was pretty good. Crouch offered up the same score, but with much less enthusiasm. Dumbledore seemed nearly as excited as Bagman when he gave me a ten, and I realized I was going on to my last two judges with thirty points already. Madam Maxine from Beauxbaton looked grim, but she did give me a nine, and I figured that was about as good as I could expect from another school's head master. Headmaster Karkaroff was last and he looked like he would rather have a prostate exam than give me any score whatsoever before he gave me a six. I was spared the need to have any reaction to it as the crowd me his scores with a chorus of boos.

Whether or not his score was fair I still came out with a total of 45 points. I could hear the Hogwarts students roaring with approval when he announced that I was firmly in first place. I offered up another fist pump that was partially for me, and partially for Ron and Harry who I could see completely freaking out in the stands, and then I went to try and figure out where the other champions had gone to when they had finished.

The song is from the book, obviously :P

* * *

 **Ch:12 Song for this chapter: Dvorak - New World Symphony - Part One: 4th Movement**

 **HPOV**

There were many downsides to being banned from seeing Severus, but the biggest had to be that other guys my age, seemed to think I was available. I could hardly go to library anymore with Krum staring at me like I was a very well cooked rack of lamb. Adding that in with being fairly certain that Ron still had feelings for me, even if he was trying not to act on them, created a very uncomfortable living environment. I was seriously considering changing up my wardrobe to be sweat pants and baggy sweaters only if it would mean that people these guys would stop looking at me. I'd consider getting fat, if I didn't have the end of the year to look forward to with Severus.

I woke up early a few days after the first task and when I couldn't fall back asleep I went through my yoga routine twice just for something to do. Still there was no one else awake, so I dressed for the day and decided to go for a walk around the castle until the great hall opened for breakfast. The sun was just barely up, but it was sending beautiful golden light through the corridor windows. It made for a great and peaceful walk, though it would have been nice to share it with Severus.

I hung around on the third floor for a while just listening to birds singing out by the lake, but I eventually did make it down to the entrance hall intending to check if the great hall had opened yet. At most I expected the doors to be open with a few people inside, at the least I expected the entrance hall to be empty and quiet. What I didn't expect to see was Barty Crouch with a crow bar trying to bust the faux Dropa Stoneout of the wall.

"What are you doing?" I asked, placing my arm casually behind me, so I could draw my wand from my back pocket if I needed too.

He turned to face me, and he seemed unable to answer me. His jaw was slack, and his eyes were unfocused, he seemed to be looking off over my shoulder rather than looking at me.

"Mr. Crouch?" I said, wondering what exactly was wrong with him.

He gurgled like he couldn't speak, and then sense seemed to come back to him. He snapped his mouth shut, and his eyes focused in on mine. In the course of a second his entire demeanor changed from what appeared to be a confused and lost old man to the prime and proper ministry official I was used to seeing.

"What are you doing?" I asked again.

"Just testing security for the head master," he said looking down at the crow bar in his hand and then back at me. "Things seem like they are in top shape."

I kept my hand firmly on my wand, wondering why he kept looking at the crow bar. It was like a part of him was saying to hit me with it, but another part of him was over riding the command. He took a staggering step toward me, and that was the last straw. I drew my wand on him, and took large step back away from him.

"Is there something going on here?" the voice of Dumbledore said from behind me.

"Mr. Crouch is behaving strangely," I said before the other man could speak. "And I saw him trying to pry the stone out of the wall."

"Barty why don't we have a word in my office," Dumbledore said stiffly without removing the smile from his face. "The great hall should be ready if you just want to head in for breakfast Miss Granger."

And just like that Dumbledore hustled Crouch off and it was like nothing had happened. I stared dumbfounded at the tiny gouges on one side of the Dropa stone. Had that really just happened? I mean what the heck? If he really was trying to steal the stone, was it really a good idea to take him up to the office where the real stone was hidden away. Of course Dumbledore wouldn't have it sitting out in the open would he?

I shook my head and pushed open the door to the great hall, and walked over to the Gryffindor table and pondered the odd behavior of Mr. Crouch while I scooped up some scrambled eggs. I needed to make a trip to the library to check a theory, but I had this nagging suspicion that Mr. Crouch was under the effects of an unforgivable curse while he had been in the entrance hall with me. I groaned around a bite of egg when I realized that the likelihood of making it to the library without running into Krum was slim to none.

I was still picking at my eggs, begrudging the loss of my sanctuary in the library when Severus swept into the great hall. We were the only two in the hall, so he took the risk of passing right by me, brushing his fingers from my shoulders down to my fingers. I had to bit my lip to stifle a moan at the first contact from him since the first of November. He kept walking, most likely because laughter and chatter could be heard in the hallway announcing that there were students coming, I watched him make his way to the head table, and when he turned to sit, facing me once more, I purse my lips at him subtly blowing him a kiss like I used to. He pressed his fingers to his lips with a subtle bow of his head like he always did, but then he pressed his fingers against his heart, and I understood that he was silently telling me that he loved me. I placed my hand over my own heart, wishing desperately that I could just say it out loud.

Harry and Ron picked that moment to join me at the breakfast table, so I had to focus on something other than the love of my life. So instead I made conversation about the golden egg, which quite frankly I was considering throwing into the fire. Every time I opened that it just screeched at me. I didn't matter how long I listened to it, or if I opened it at different times of day or in different locations it was always the same. The boys always wanted to know what I was planning to do for the next task, and if it was going to be as awesome as my performance with the dragons. I didn't know how to tell that that the dragon incident had been pure luck, or that I had no idea what the next task was going to be. I didn't know what the task was, let alone how I was going to deal with it.

So like I had been for the last few days, I made up a story what I thought the egg probably meant, and how I intended to deal with it. I figured I had at least two weeks before they figured out that I didn't have a clue what the next task was. So two weeks to figure it out. More than once the idea of asking Severus for help had occurred to me, but that would be cheating. At least that was the mantra I kept repeating myself when it seemed like a particularly good idea.

-`-'-

At the end of the week I was still struggling to figure out what the egg meant, but I was thrown a major distraction when McGonagall announced that Christmas break would herald the traditional Yule Ball. So there would be a dance… great. On top of not knowing what my next task was going to be, I had to sit through a dance, dateless and miserable. What a great way to spend Christmas.

I was doing my best to buck up and pretend I wasn't completely annoyed by the idea of the whole thing when McGonagall held me back after the ridiculous ballroom dancing lesson. She burst the tiny bubble of fake enthusiasm I was drifting in by informing me that my date and I would be required to participate in the opening dance.

"Professor, I won't be going with a date," I hedged, brushing my fingers through my hair that was much curlier now that it had grown out a bit.

"Miss Granger, you are essentially required to have a date," she said stiffly. "Even if it's only for the opening dance."

"And am I allowed to have whomever I want as my date?" I asked her pointedly, crossing my arms over my chest.

"Within reason," she said stiffly, and she may as well have screamed 'sure, as long as it isn't Severus.'

"And what happens if I refuse to take a date," I replied stubbornly.

"Then I suppose your head master shall be forced to step in as your dance partner," she said with a raised eyebrow. "And I imagine that would be uncomfortable for everyone."

The very idea of dancing with the man, who was the cause of all my trouble, had me grinding my teeth together. I would take Ronald Weasley to the dance before I would dance with Albus Dumbledore. I just nodded my head at her in frustration and walked out of the room. I decided to take up my haunt in the library and try yet again to find some book that talked about screeching eggs.

But of course, Viktor Krum was in the library, with his stupid pack of floozies following him around yet again. I rolled my eyes and bypassed him to find a quiet study carol in the back and sort through yet another stack of books about languages, hoping that maybe somehow that stupid screeching sound was supposed to be words.

I spent hours in the library but all I gained was a headache from the giggling girls, and the creeps from Krum. I eventually went and changed into my sweats so I could go out and run until I could stop wanting to strangle someone. I was fairly certain as I made my fifth lap around the lake, pushing myself forward even though I was exhausted, that my real problem was frustration. Frustration of a variety that I could not do anything about until June. And just how far away June was kept repeating in my mind as I kept running around the lake for another twenty minutes.

-`-'-

December march forward, with classes wrapping up, and still I hadn't figured out what the egg meant. I spent more and more time running around the lake, attempting to outpace my nerves about the dress I had picked out, and frustration at still not having a date. No matter how fast I ran I couldn't avoid the fact that was heading into the second task blind and once again I was going to look like a total fool unless I got incredibly ugly. Yet again I had seriously considered going to Severus for help, but I didn't want to admit that I needed help. And I certainly didn't want to put him in a precarious situation, well a more precarious position.

And I was running particularly late this even to try and outrun the creeping crawling feeling in my gut. Because I had been corner in the library earlier tonight by a nervous and stuttering Krum, who wanted me to be his date to the Yule Ball. That was problem enough on its own, but I had told him I couldn't go with him because I was already going with someone else. So now I had been asked out by the one guy who I would have paid to be anywhere other than in my library, but now I really, REALLY, had to find a date or I was going to have even more awkwardness on my hands.

I pushed myself through another forty minutes of running even though my legs were shaking, and I could hardly breathe because I needed something to think of other than how absolutely ridiculous my life was becoming . It was completely out of my control, and there wasn't anything I could do about it, so I pushed for another lap around the lake.

Eventually I couldn't take it anymore, so I slowed to a walked and cooled down on my way back to the castle. I lingered on the steps stretching before my muscles could tense up, and then I drug my extremely tired body up the seven floors the separated me and a hot shower. I passed Harry and Ron playing chess by the fire on my way up to the girls dormitory, and an idea dawned on me. I was covered in sweat with my hair plastered to my head, and looked absolutely awful, but Harry was my best friend, and I was pretty sure he would still say yes. So I turned back from the stairs and walked over to stand by them, begrudging the warmth of the fire on my overheated flesh.

"Hey Harry," I sighed, still fairly breathless from my run.

"Yeah Hermione?" he asked, sparing a glance up from the chessboard, but then returning his attention to game play.

"Yule Ball, you game?" I huffed, stretching my quad again.

"Yeah, sounds great," he said dismissively before instructing his pawn where to move.

"Great," I called over my shoulder as I continued on the way to a glorious shower.

"You guys are just going as friends right?" Ron said, his voice breaking on friends. "Right?"

"Duh Ron," I heard Harry reply as I mounted the stairs on wobbly legs. "She can't go with her boyfriend, but she doesn't want to go with someone else. And Cho's already going with Cedric, so it's not like I've got a date."

"Crap I need a date," Ron moaned.

It sounded like he said something else, but I couldn't make out the words anymore. I made a beeline for the shower, silently congratulating myself on my genius idea. Why hadn't I thought of this sooner? To be fair, I really needed to get Harry a better Christmas present. He'd been awesome this year; a really great friend to me. I mean aside from his confused idea that ice cream cures heartache. Seriously, how many muggle movies had the boy seen?

Now all I had to worry about was that stupid egg.

-`-'-

I ended up once again making laps around the lake when I had exhausted every book I could think of in the library and I still hadn't figured out anything about the egg. It was Christmas Eve, and instead of drinking hot cocoa in the common room with the boys I was running around the lake to keep from screaming in frustration. My sweat pants were soaked through from cutting a path in the snow, and yet I wasn't even cold. I just kept looking out at the lake as I ran wondering if that hulking shape on the deck of the Durmstrang ship was Krum the creep.

It occurred to me as I was looking out at the lake that of all the things I had tried doing to the egg to make the screeching into something else, I hadn't tried putting it in water. Could the second task involve water? I stumbled out of the rut in the snow I had created and made my way toward the castle. I was hurrying to get to my egg and try putting it underwater. I was literally huffing and puffing when I made it to the castle door, having essentially done high knees all the way across the school grounds due to the thick snow on the ground.

Somehow I found the energy in me to keep moving when I made it inside the castle, and I pushed myself to run all the way back to Gryffindor tower. I didn't even spare a hello to Harry and Ron as I dashed through the common room and up to the dormitory. I blew off one of the girls in the dormitory as I scooped the egg out of my trunk and dashed into the bathroom. I ran the water in the tub, tapping my foot impatiently while I held the egg and waited for there to be enough water.

It was five minutes of absolute torture, but finally the tub had enough water. I plunked the egg in without bothering to roll up my sleeves. I cracked the egg open, and sighed in relief when my ears were not met with the horrible screeching sound. Instead I could hear what sounded like singing coming up through the water. I couldn't make out the words, so I took a deep breath and I stuck my head underneath the water.

"Come seek us where our voices sound, We cannot sing above the ground, And while you're searching ponder this; We've taken what you'll sorely miss, An hour long you'll have to look, And to recover what we took, But past an hour, the prospect's black, Too late it's gone, it won't come back."

I pulled my head up out of the water, gasping for air, but cheering airily none-the-less. Hearing that song, that was all I needed. And now that I had heard it, I couldn't believe how long it had taken me to figure it out. Of course, the one creature that couldn't sing above the ground… mermaids. Their voices just sounded like that awful screeching when they were above the water.

I could find something in the lake, no big deal. I knew when the task was, I now knew what the task was, I just needed to practice the bubblehead charm and make sure I could produce it perfectly. Suddenly I was stress free, and there was only one person I wanted to share my sudden joy with.

It was wrong, and we could get in trouble, but tonight I just didn't care. I pulled the plug out of the tub, grabbed the egg, and hurried back into the dormitory. I tossed it into my trunk, thinking about changing into something that wasn't soaked from snow, sweat, and bath water, but I decided that I just couldn't wait. I flipped the lid closed on my trunk, and ran back down the stairs.

When I hit the common room Harry and Ron turned to stare at me. I threw my hand up in a wave, but didn't stop to explain where I was going or what was going on. The less anyone knew, the less likely this was to end in Severus or I getting into serious trouble. I flew on the new energy created by my tiny victory, but that energy carried me as far as his chamber door. I busted in on him reading by the fire and used up the last bit of gusto to push the book out of his hand onto the floor, and climb into his lap.

"I finally figured out the stupid egg," I told him breathily. "Celebrate with me."

"Did you figure it out on a run?" he chuckled pushing my sloppy hair out of my face. "Why are you soaking wet?"

"There's so much snow around the lake," I laughed before stealing a quick kiss. "And I practically climbed in the bathtub with the egg, but I figured it out."

"Well you should tell me all about it," he said as he scooted us up and out of the chair gently. "But in the bath, because your skin is somehow freezing and sweating at the same time, and that can't be healthy."

I had no objections to climbing in to a bathtub with Severus, so I let him lead me out of the sitting room and into his bathroom. I giggled when he transfigured his stone shower into a deep tub, and started stripping off my soaked clothes while he ran a bubble bath. I was practically trembling at the prospect of extended touching with Severus. I honestly didn't even care if we only cuddled; I just wanted to be touching him.

I barely managed to not fall asleep in the tub, but Severus decided to buck the rules and let me sleep in his bed wrapped up in one of his night shirts for most of the night. It was perfect, his pillows smelled like him, and I got to wrap myself around him while I slept. It was enough to keep me from being frustrated when he woke me up at four in the morning, so sneak me back up to Gryffindor tower before anyone could wake up and discover that I wasn't there. I stole one last kiss and drug myself up to the girl's dormitory and slid into my own bed pulling the hangings closed behind me. I snuggled my face into Severus's night shirt and fell back asleep with daydreams of what summer would bring.

-`-'-

I slept through breakfast the next morning but when I woke up I felt rested and happy, and for a while I just snuggled into my sheets which now smelled a little like Severus. I would eventually have to get up and get going for the day, I even had Christmas present waiting for me, but for now I just wanted to bask in the musky scent that was Severus for a little while longer.

When I did eventually drag myself out of bed I decided to give myself a Christmas present and skip my morning exercise routine and jump right into opening presents instead. I laughed at the far to large box of chocolates Harry had gotten me from Honeydukes, and moved on Ron's present. He had gone down the safe route and simply purchased me a journal. Clearly things were still a little awkward between us, but we were speaking so it was an improvement.

I saved the best present for last. It was from Severus and it was in a little square box that was screaming jewelry. I was excited by the prospect of a set of earrings or a nice necklace, but I was even more excited by what I actually found in the box. It was a little silver key, and on the top there was an engraving that said Spinner's End. I had to fight off the sudden urge to cry when it really hit me that he had given me a key to his house. It was like entering the final frontier in our relationship. And I realized as I turned the key over in my hand that it was the answer to a question I hadn't been able to voice just yet. Where was I going to live when I graduated Hogwarts? Living with Severus was the perfect answer. Merry Christmas too me! Of course now my gift of massage oils and a coupon for redeeming a nice long massage seemed silly.

I stowed my gifts away in my trunk and pulled on yoga pants and a long sweater before heading down to the common room to meet up with the boys. I played chess with Ron so I would have something to think about other than my failings as a girlfriend. Ron completely smashed me at chess, but it kept me occupied until it was time to head down for a nice Christmas lunch.

I don't remember what I had for lunch, I was much more occupied with making googily eyes at Severus up at the head table. Dumbledore either didn't notice, or had decided to let the rules slide for Christmas. I wanted to go tell Severus how much I loved his present, but I was worried about pushing my luck for the whole rules thing, so instead when Dumbledore turned to say something to McGonagall I placed my hand over my heart and puckered my lips slightly. He hid his hand with a napkin as he pressed his fingers to his lips before flashing me a smile that I was fairly sure had never graced the great hall before. I had to hide my own face when I felt my cheeks start to blaze.

When lunch ended the boys went to have a snowball fight, and I went to start getting ready for the dance. Harry might be my date, but I was dressing for Severus and I wanted to absolutely wow him. I had considered getting a green dress because I knew it was his favorite color, but I went with purple because of how nice it looked against my skin. The idea was inspired by the reaction I had gotten from him this summer when I had snuck into his bed early in the morning wearing a purple teddy and not much else.

The dress covered all of my important parts, but it left my shoulders mostly bare and had a slit to above me knee that allowed my legs to peak out when I walked. It had one strap of beaded flower petals that wrapped over my shoulder, and the flowing gauzy purple material made me look much more elegant than I felt. I paired it with silver heels and simple jewelry. Getting into the outfit wasn't that difficult, but convincing my hair to do something other than fly about my head crazily was something else entirely. Once my hair grew back out past my shoulders, I swear to God I would never cut my hair again I was doing my best, but I could not rock short hair, it just wasn't my thing.

But I put in the time applying copious amounts of sleek easy to my hair, and taming my hair into artful curls instead of unruly waves that tangled around my face. When my hair was framing my face just so, I applied a smoky eye and a tinted gloss. I had a feeling I would do enough blushing tonight with everyone staring at me, so I didn't even bother putting blush on.

By the time I finished getting ready I had to shimmy past the other girls and hold my breath to avoid choking on the cloud of perfume I had to walk through to get out of the dormitory. I shook my head at the fact that I now I smelled a bit like a juicy flower that might be made out of crushed strawberries, and made my way down the stairs to meet up with Harry.

I found him sitting by the fire looking bored in a pair of bottle green dress robes, next to a very uncomfortable looking room, whose scarlet robes were somehow frayed around the edges. I weaved through the chairs over to them, and tried to pretend I didn't notice the way Ron's face flushed before he looked down at his lap and started muttering something to himself that I was pretty sure was think of her like a sister.

"I'm pretty sure your paramour isn't going to make it through the evening without choking to death," Harry laughed as he stood up from the couch, reaching in to his pocket to produce a little while flower.

"Well, let's hope that doesn't happen," I chuckled as he carefully pinned the flower onto the strap of my dress.

He was trying to play the part of my date, so I opted not to point out that it looked a little ridiculous. Instead I conjured a replica of the flower and pinned it to the lapel of his robes while Ron looked at us like we had both suddenly developed a mental illness.

"It's customary in the muggle world to give a flower to your date when you go to a formal dance," I explained to Ron before sticking my recently pricked finger in my mouth to try and stop the blood flow.

He squeaked at me, and I rolled my eyes looking at Harry with a face that clearly said let's get out of here before Ron changes his mind about trying to start a relationship with me. Harry offered me his arm with a smirk, and I took it and allowed him to lead me out of the tower and down toward the Great Hall.

We barely made it down the marble staircase before McGonagall was herding us into a group with the other champions and their dates by the closed doors to the Great Hall. I did my best not to show on my face just how disgruntled I was to have Krum standing so close to me. I shuffled a little closer to Harry, knowing he wouldn't mind, but I swear to God Krum scooted closer to me.

Why wasn't he paying attention to the loose sixth year from Slytherin who was basically salivating over being chosen to be his date? The sheath of fabric that barely covered her lady bits could hardly be called a dress, and yet her ogre of a date was breathing down my neck.

"Do you mind," Harry said defensively while looking over my shoulder at Krum. "Or does the language barrier somehow make it impossible for you to see that she's spoken for."

Krum backed up a few inches and I beamed at Harry offering a whispered thanks. There was an awkward silence for a moment as Krum glared at us, but then the doors were opened, and we had the distraction of all of the other students filtering past us into the great hall, quite a few of them gawking as they passed. I got the impression that they were distracted by the stunning silver dress Delacour was wearing that seemed to have registered her date, Roger Davis, completely unable to speak English.

When the others were inside the hall we followed McGonagall in a processional with everyone staring, and I felt the first round of blushing creeping into my cheeks. We moved through the tables which I was surprised to discover were multiple small round tables instead of the four house tables. I was looking around at the different tables, and my entire body flushed when I saw Severus seated at a table wearing an actual muggle suit. The black pinstripe suit paired with the emerald green dress shirt looked absolutely illegal on him. I was surprised he would wear a muggle suit, but then I saw the white flower pinned to his jacket, and I wondered if he had somehow gotten the idea from Harry.

"Harry, did you give a flower to Severus," I whispered as we slid into our seats at the table with the other champions.

"No, he gave me the one to give to you," he said quietly as he pushed in my chair for me. "I did stage a conversation with Seamus about muggle dances in the potions classroom though."

"That explains the suit," I smiled as I put my napkin in my lap. "He does look good in a suit."

"Hermione, there are many things I will do as your friend," he groaned quietly as he put his own napkin in his lap. "But discussing how our potions professor looks in any outfit crosses the line."

I nodded fervently, my cheeks flushing once more, as I watched Dumbledore demonstrate how we were supposed to order our meals. I ordered chicken, but I was thinking about other places I would like to see that suit.

Harry and I made small talk about the snowball fight throughout the meal and I managed not to send any glares in the direction of my headmaster, who let's face it, I still kind of wanted to punch in the face. Eventually the meal wound to an end, and it came time for the opening dancing. I had the summer full of cotillion classes my parents had forced me to attend to fall back on, but I was pretty sure that Harry was going to stomp all over my toes. I cemented my camera ready smile on my face, and let Harry lead me out onto the dance floor. He put one hand on my hip and offered the other one up to me, so far so good. I put one hand on his shoulder took his other hand. The music started to play, and Harry managed two full revolutions before he stepped on my foot the first time. I stifled a wince, and turned my head to the side to keep myself from glaring at Harry.

My eyes searched the crowd, and landed on Severus who sat stiffly at his table. I kept eye contact with him while I let Harry lead me around the dance floor, and I had to laugh when I saw him fight the urge to laugh every time I winced at Harry's clumsy feet. I managed to survive the entire dance, and offered a smile and a slight bob of the head at the ridiculous applause that followed the dance, and beat a hasty retreat with Harry off of the dance floor.

"Do you still have any toes?" Harry asked sheepishly as we sat down at a different table.

"I don't think there's any permanent damage," I chuckled. "But I'm not in any hurry to do that again."

"Agreed," Harry chuckled as he pulled his white tie loose and leaned back in his chair. "Honestly, I hate dancing. Not matter how great the music is."

"Yeah, the weird sisters are pretty awesome," I agreed looking out to watch all of the other people dancing.

I struggled to maintain my good mood when I pictured Severus and I moving about the dance floor. I was beyond frustrated that I couldn't even ask for once dance without possibly finding myself expelled or Severus fired. In an effort to fight off my bad mood I watched him from across the room, making polite conversation with Professor Flitwick while I carried on my own polite conversation with Harry, and eventually Ron when he ditched whoever he had brought as a date and joined us.

"I think I'll go get something to drink," Harry said as he stood after about half an hour. "Do you want one Hermione?"

"I'm good thanks," I said pulling my eyes away from Severus long enough to actually make eye contact with Harry.

I talked to Ron about Fred and George's newest joke product while Harry was gone. Apparently they had developed a candy that would cause the eater to break out into a fever, thus getting them out of class where they simply had to eat the antidote candy. It was actually some impressive magic, even if it was being used for mischief instead of medical advancement. I would have to inquire about how they were made.

"In about five minutes you should leave," Harry whispered into my ear when he returned to the table. "Snape slipped out a few seconds ago, and he'll be waiting for you in his chambers."

I looked at him with a raised brow, hardly daring to believe he had actually said that. A secret date?

"Don't look at me like you don't know what I'm talking about" Harry groaned into his butter beer. "If I have to repeat what I just said I am going to have to reconsider being friends with you."

"No I heard you just fine," I assured him, noticing for the first time that they really were fourteen. "I was just surprised is all. Anyway I think its been five minutes so I'll just go."

I stood to leave without waiting for a response, noticing for the first time that there really was an age gap between us. I had managed to go all year without feeling like I was older than them, but right this second I wanted to tell them how childish they were. Or inform them that Severus did not have cooties.

I peeked around to see if Dumbledore was watching, but he was engrossed in a dance with Madam Maxine so I took the moment to slip out of the great hall and hurry out of the entrance hall where a few students were milling about. I listened to the clicking of my heels as I hurried down to the dungeon. I was expecting to slip into Severus's chambers covertly, but he was waiting for me in the hallway with a single white rose in his hand and a smile on his face.

"You are radiant this evening," he told me as he slid the rose into my hand and kissed my knuckles.

"You look very dapper in your suit," I told him, blushing once more.

"I was begrudging the fact that I couldn't ask you to dance upstairs," he told me as he revealed the opening to his chambers. "But I was hoping that you would allow me a dance down here."

He motioned into the room, and I followed the path of his hand. He had transformed his sitting room into a miniature winter wonderland. There were twinkling lights that I suspected might actually be live fairies hovering just below the ceiling. He had pushed all of the furniture up against the walls, and sprinkled flower petals around the floor. There was classical music issuing from somewhere in his chambers.

"I would love to dance with you Severus," I smiled reaching out to take his hand.

He pulled me into swiftly into his chambers with a spin before dipping me low and planting a kiss on me that left me breathless. He righted me, and waltzed us further into the room. Everything was perfectly, the lighting was romantic, the music was beautiful, and we were all alone with no one interrupt us.

We danced circles around his rearranged living room for a long time, and he never once stepped on my toes. Not only was he a much better dancer than Harry, he was actually a much better dancer than me not that I would ever admit that out loud. I clung to him as our waltz slowly turned into a sway. And the sway slowly turned into us just holding each other while classical music played around us.

He reclaimed my lips as he back up toward the bedroom pulling me along with him. I started unfastening the buttons to his jacket as we passed through the doorway and I saw that he had coaxed fairies into lighting the bedroom as well. I pushed his jacket from his shoulders while his fingers deftly plucked the flower from dress, tossing it with its pin intact onto his bedside table.

He lowered himself onto his bed, and pulled me into his lap. My dress rode up my hips as I splayed my legs on either side of him and I pulled him tighter to me as I tried in vain to tell him how much I loved him with kisses alone. He closed his hands over my torso, and even through the fabric of my dress I could feel the sensation of heat over my scar. I moaned into his mouth, and brought my hips forward to meet his out of instinct.

"Where is the zipper?" he whispered against my throat before he began to kiss along my collar bone. "This dress is far too delicious to rip in my haste to find it."

I brought his hand to my left side, and placed it on the side of my breast, which was also the location of the side zipper that was hidden in the flowing fabric of my dress. He got wrapped up in massaging my breast, temporarily forgetting that he had been looking for the zipper to my dress.

Feeling the blush that had been residing in my face for most of the night began to creep along the rest of my body as I pushed him down into the mattress and hovered over him stealing kisses as I worked on the buttons of his dress shirt. When I got his shirt open I was rewarded with the sight of his bare chest as well as the atisfying sound of his pleasured his as I drug my nails down his chest.

He quickly pulled the zipper open on my dress and slid his hand into the opening taking the opportunity to caress my bare breast. Suddenly I was the one hissing, and he was rolling us so that I was laying on the bed and he was hovering over me. He gently, but quickly pulled the dress off of me and let it fall onto the floor while he stared at the green silk panties I had worn just for him. I could tell by the hungry look in his eyes I had chosen well.

He nuzzled my chest while I wrapped my legs around his hips pulling him in as close as I could. He paused for air, and I set up so I could undo his belt and push off his trousers. I helped him to pull off his shoes as well, and then reached over to pull off my own.

"Will you leave them on?" he asked me in that husky voice that I would do anything for.

I nodded my head, leaning back on the bed and allowing him to pull of my panties. I chuckled when he tossed them onto his nightstand alongside the flower, and I knew I was not going to be getting those back. He climbed over me and returned to kissing me as he slid in between my legs.

I gasped against his lips as he entered me, and I shook with pleasure as we rocked slowly together. We kept a gentle pace, partaking in the slow union that our first time probably should have been. It was the perfect reunion after so long apart. We whispered I love you's as we shared tender touches and loving kisses.

Eventually we both felt the fire rising, and we could no maintain the slow speed. We began crashing into one another as we climbed erratically toward that brilliant crescendo of pleasure. As we fell over the edge it all came in flashes. I bit his shoulder, he gripped my thigh. I kissed his chest, he tugged at my hair. We tumbled into our orgasms simultaneously, and then we lay entwined together under the sheets, and we eventually drifted off to sleep.

* * *

 **Ch:13 Songs for this chapter: Lips Like Morphine by Kill Hannah and Speeding Cars by Imogen Heap**

 **SPOV**

"I refuse to walk anywhere," she grumbled hiding her head under the pillows and refusing to look at me.

"Hermione, I didn't tell you to sleep in the high heels," I chuckled as I gently removed the shoes from her feet.

"Well, it's your fault I was so tired that I fell asleep with them on," was her muffled reply from under the pillows.

"If you venture over to the nook for breakfast I will give you a foot massage," I offered as I tossed her high heels on the floor.

I went to find something for Hermione to wear since she still had my spare night shirt up in her dormitory. I flipped through the clothes in my closet until I found a white oxford that would cover the important bits. As much as I would like to see them uncovered, I didn't think Hermione would be interested in eating breakfast in the nude, especially since she wasn't in the greatest of moods this morning.

I set the shirt beside her on the bed, and saw that she had come back out from her hiding place under the pillows, and she looked adorable with her hair tossed all over the place and a smile on her face. I leaned in to give her a kiss and the little minx tried to pull me back into the bed with her.

"If you want breakfast, I'll have to stay out of the bed," I chuckled while she nipped at my neck playfully.

"I know what I want for breakfast, and it doesn't involve leaving this bed," she whispered in my ear, and it took more effort than I wanted to admit to pull myself of the bed and go fetch her a real breakfast.

I did manage to extract myself from the bed, but instead of making a big effort, I sent a floo call to the kitchen to have eggs and sausage links delivered in about twenty minutes, and then I returned to the bedroom to and scooped a squealing Hermione out of bed and made a bee line for the bathroom. I hadn't actually turned the bathtub back into a shower and that was perfect for a grumpy witch who wasn't excited to stand on swollen feet.

I set her on the edge of the tub while I ran the water, and laughed when she squealed at the cold stone. I started the water filling the tub and she stuck her feet into the hot water with a contented sigh. I dashed out into the sitting room to grab one of the oils from the massage kit Hermione had given me for Christmas. I sauntered back into the bathroom and added a few drops of the oil to the bath water while ogling a very naked Hermione kneeling in the rising water with a smirk on her face.

I eagerly climbed into the oversized tub with her, laughing when she squealed as I pulled her flush against my body. I got distracted from my goal of rubbing her feet by the her lips dancing along my throat and her hands traveling to my nether regions. I began to explore her body lazily as well as we lay back in the warm bath water.

"Do you still want a foot massage, or do you have other plans before breakfast," I asked as she climbed astride my hips.

"Ohh, that is a difficult choice," she moaned rocking against me twice. "But I think I want a foot massage."

I fought off the groan climbing up my throat and started thinking about first year potion essays so my little friend would get the memo that he wasn't needed for the moment. Hermione slid off of me and leaned back against the other side of the tub offering her dainty feet up with a cheeky smile. I started the rub her feet while staring pointedly at her face so I could not get distracted, though Hermione wasn't helping much by moaning each time I pressed my thumb into the arch of her foot.

"So tell me more about your plan for the second task," I said so I had something more appropriate to think about.

"Well I think I will go with the bubble head charm," she told me, laying her head back on the edge of the tub with her eyes closed. "It's fairly straight forward and it will allow me to search the bottom of the lake for an hour without much issue."

"Have you thought about what they might have you looking for down there?" I asked her.

"I imagine it will be something that I use often, since I would 'sorely miss' it and all that," she thought out loud. "I hope they wouldn't put one of my favorite books in the lake that would ruin it."

"I'm sure they would put a charm on whatever they put at the bottom of the lake to assure it isn't ruined," I told her when I saw that she was genuinely upset by the idea of one of her books being ruined.

"It just occurred to me they will probably have it secured in some way as well," she mused while I continued massaging her tender feet. "I should probably take a pocket knife, or a lock pick or something along those lines."

"I'd expect a knife would be more helpful," I chuckled trying to picture Hermione floating at the bottom of the lake attempting to pick the lock on a box containing her favorite book.

"You're probably right," she sighed before her eyes snapped open. "I need to practice swimming in the lake. I just realized the water is probably freezing and I need to get used to that."

"That is a good idea," I told her. "And if you need a lifeguard to keep an eye on you, I would love to see you in a swimsuit."

"You're incorrigible," she groaned just as we heard a crack in the sitting room announcing that the house elf had arrived with our breakfast.

Hermione ducked down so she was hidden by the rim of the tub as we both noticed that the bathroom door was still open. We listened carefully, hoping that the elf would just leave without coming to ascertain that I was pleased with their service. There was a few seconds pause, but then there was another crack and I breathed a sigh of relief and Hermione sat back up with a quiet sigh.

"I guess it's time to acknowledge that it's Boxing Day, and the magical Christmas bubble has passed," she groaned. "I should sneak back to Gryffindor tower after breakfast."

"I suppose you should," I sighed reaching for the shampoo. "We will have to be very careful for the next six months."

She nodded, and then we finished our bath. I knew she had to leave soon, but I lost myself in the pleasure of washing her hair for a while longer. We enjoyed breakfast together and then she cast a disillusionment charm on herself so she wouldn't be seen sneaking back into her common room wearing only my white button down shirt and carrying her clothes from last night.

-`-'-

I'd been hoping to sneak Hermione into my chambers again later that week but she was suddenly quite occupied with the minor crisis over a certain article by Rita Skeeter that outed Hagrid as a half giant. I stifled the urge to point out that it had been rather obvious when she snuck in a short complaint session with me after a potions lesson before heading down to try and lure the emotional man out of his hut yet again. I watched her hurry away pondering her question as to how exactly Skeeter had been privy to that information, as Harry and Ron had overheard the conversation in question and the reporter had been nowhere in the vicinity as far as they could tell.

I couldn't say much against those who responded poorly to the news, no matter how much I might want to because I was standing on a rickety foundation after revealing my own bigotry in my feelings over Lupin being a werewolf. When I saw how passionately Hermione was against such behavior I made a promise to myself to try and be more excepting and get over my prejudices. The first step in my plan? Asking Lupin to lunch on the next Hogsmeade weekend which we would be expected to chaperone for part of the day anyway.

"I was surprised that you asked me to join you for lunch," he said as we sat down at the bar at the three broomsticks. "I was under the impression that you rather disliked me."

"I have been holding a grudge for some time," I admitted dully. "But I think it's about time I let go of such childish things. We are colleagues, we should be able to at least share a lunch with one another and be civil."

"What prompted the change of heart, if I might ask," he asked as he looked over the menu he had just been handed.

"The article about Rubeus Hagrid actually," I said, deciding to be as close to honest as I could with him. "It occurred to me as I read it that I was holding onto negative feelings toward you that may be less about who you associated with in school and more about your unfortunate medical situation."

"That is very candid of you," he said his brows raised in surprise. "So now you are trying to ascertain if you dislike all werewolves, or just the one that nearly killed you in your youth?"

"I'd like to think I am just trying to find the similarities between us," I answered him. "So that I might stop seeing you as a werewolf and start seeing you as Remus Lupin."

"Well here's a similarity for you," he said raising his glass of fire whiskey. "We are both Hogwarts professors."

"And we both enjoy fire whiskey," I chuckled raising my own glass.

"I actually rather enjoy the art of potion making," he told me before turning to look at Madam Rosemerta. "And I think I'll just have a club sandwich."

"I'll have the BLT with avocado," I told her before she left to put the orders in. "I didn't realize you enjoyed potions."

"I'd actually like to learn how to brew the wolfsbane potion if you would be so obliged as to teach me," he told me with a serious face before cracking a smile. "But I refuse to call you professor Snape."

We talked for throughout the meal, and I did agree to teach him how to brew the potion he needed to maintain a normal life. But when I left the pub I felt assure that my dislike for the man had more to with my experiences with him that his werewolf affliction. I wasn't sure if I could get past all of the history between us to befriend the man, but I did feel better for having given it a try.

-`-'-

Hagrid did eventually return to the job, so I had more opportunities to try and sneak into my chambers, but the first time I saw her alone with me in my chambers was a complete surprise and a little less than romantic. She came barging into my sitting room clutching her robes tightly around her, her hair clearly wet and partially frozen as she shivered.

"Sh-sh-sh-shower," she chattered at me through blue lips.

I stood and led her quaking form into the bathroom where I turned on the shower as hot as it would go as she kicked off her soggy shoes. I pulled off her damp robes and I couldn't even enjoy the black bikini she was wearing because her skin was covered in goose bumps and had a slightly purple hue to it.

"Merlin Hermione what have you been doing?" I asked as I ushered her into the hot shower.

"S-swimm-i-ing in the l-lake," she chattered as she huddled in the shower spray."W-waaaaay too c-cold."

"Clearly," I observed as she ran her hands over her arms trying to create more warmth. "I hate to suggest it, as I rather like the idea of seeing you in a bikini again, but maybe you need to wear something more substantial."

"Or c-cast a warming spell before I go in," she laughed as she reached out a shaking arm to pull me into the shower with her.

"You know I think we spend more time bathing together than doing anything else," I laughed at her as I shucked my now soaked clothing and pulled the curtain closed behind us.

I took a moment to enjoy her form as it slowly grew pinker with the water's warmth. She seemed more comfortable with her appearance now that I had completely healed the scar created by secumseptra, and she didn't seem to mind the other scar which had faded to a pink similar to that of the scar on my hip so long as I paid it special attention while removing the top to her bikini. In all honesty I could probably spend the rest of my life with Hermione shower and be perfectly content.

-`-'-

On the next weekend break I wrote Hermione a note giving her permission to take a special trip into London to procure better swim attire for the challenge but I also gave her instructions to not get caught leaving so we wouldn't have to worry about someone like Albus questioning the validity of the note.

She came back a few hours later under the semblance of showing me her purchase, but we only spent roughly sixty seconds looking at the spandex or similar material long sleeved shirt she had bought. She called it a rash guard, or something, I wasn't really listening. Instead I lured her into the bedroom and showed her that I could keep her warm during the winter without that silly shirt.

-`-'-

The next morning I received a summons to the head masters office, and I trudged my way up to see Albus with fear that we had been caught rattling around in the back of my mind. I entered his office, schooling my features so as not to reveal my fear, and I took the proffered seat with a stiff nod of the head.

"Severus, thank you for coming so quickly," Albus said with a smile, sitting behind his desk with his hands folded. "As you know tomorrow morning marks the date of the second challenge."

I was caught off guard by the topic, so it took me a second to remember that I should probably reply to him.

"Of course," I said with another nod of the head.

"Well each of the champions' most treasured companion is supposed to be taken the bottom of the lake," he explained, and I was surprised to discover the 'object' would be a human. "So we've run into a bit of an issue."

"Which is?" I asked.

"Obviously we can't put you at the bottom of the lake, increasing the discomfort for a certain student," Albus said with a twinkle in his eye.

"I have no desire to take a soak in the lake anyway," I said stiffly, chaffing at the mention of Ronald Weasley's asinine behavior.

"As someone who knows Hermione quite well," he continued as if I had not spoken. "I was hoping you could suggest a replacement."

"Harry Potter is her closest friend," I offered coolly, still a little ruffled by the mention of Weasley even if Hermione had forgiven him.

"Alright, that should work," he nodded, and I realized that had been his intention all along when he didn't dismiss me. "So how are you holding up old boy?"

"I'm sorry?" I asked, playing the part of an idiot.

"I'm sure it's been a rough few months without Hermione," he pushed. "I wanted to see how you are doing."

"Well it's been harder than expected," I lied, locking my mental shields firmly in place lest he check to see if I was lying. "But I'm getting through. And it's not that long until June."

"Yes, the summer will be here before you know it," he said clapping his hands together. "Have the two of you talked about what you're going to do after she graduates?"

"She planning to apprentice under Poppy," I said before I realized he would have already known that given that he was the headmaster and was probably testing to see how recently I had held and intimate conversation with Hermione. "At least that was her plan this fall. I assume that is still her intention."

"It is," he smiled, pleased with my answer no matter how dishonest it might be. "Poppy is very excited to have her service for the next two years before she retires."

I endured another twenty minutes of conversation in which I pretended to have no idea about what was going on in Hermione's life, and Albus felt generous as he shared little tidbits with me. I pretended they were all revelations until I was dismissed. I spent the rest of the day in quiet contemplation of how my life had changed so that I had to utilize my skills as a spy against the one man I had expected I would always be honest with.

-`-'-

I joined the rest of the school in congregating at the lake side in a set of raised bleachers that quite frankly looked one Hagrid sized fan away from tumbling right into the lake. I was just beginning to settle into a right foul mood when the champions came out to the waterside and I graced with the presence of Hermione wearing her bikini with the long sleeved shirt of the same material that left very little to the imagination as to her shape. She had a beaming smile on her face, even though I could practically hear her teeth chattering from here, and he hair had grown out quite a bit so she looked almost like she had this summer when she had lured me into the lake before that fated ball.

I looked on while Bagman made announcements about what would take place today, and saw the shock register on her face when she realized there were people below the surface of the lake rather than possessions. Her eyes began searching the crowd, and when the landed on me relief flashed over her face before comprehension of who would be waiting for her under the surface showed up in the arch of her brow. She pursed her lips at me subtly in her signature long distance kiss, and I pressed my fingers to my lips in acknowledgement before she turned back to the water, Bagman having given the signal that the Champions could go.

She pulled her wand from where it was strapped to her calf alongside a pocket knife, and first cast what I assumed was a warming spell as her shivers subsided even though she was wading out into the frigid water. Then she cast the bubble head charm and without further ado she dove beneath the surface of the water.

I chuckled when I saw that the French girl had used the same spell, but she had not had the foresight to cast a warming spell or to wear something more substantial than a barely there one piece swimming suit that was probably going to lead to hypothermia. She disappeared below the surface as well and I turned my eyes to the brute from Bulgaria who was partially transfiguring himself into a shark. I felt pity for whoever it was he was retrieving.

"Now the champions are each retrieving a person that is very important to them," Bagman announced as we all stared out at the still water. "Hogwarts champion Hermione Granger will be retrieving her very close friend Harry Potter."

It occurred to me as I looked out at the unmoving water that the people planning this tournament hadn't thought through how boring this task would be to watch, as the audience couldn't see anything that was happening. We were now stuck listening to Bagman blather on for the next hour.

"Beauxbaton Champion Fleur Delacour will be rescuing her little sister Gabrielle Delacour," Bagman continued with far too much enthusiasm. "And Durmstrang champion Viktor Krum will be retrieving his friend and classmate Peter Poliakoff."

I stifled a snigger at that, doubting the boys were very close. When I left my meeting with Albus I passed Karkaroff who was being called up for a meeting of his own. What I gathered from the bit of conversation I heard as I made my way back out into the main hall of the castle whoever was most important to Krum at the moment was also an inappropriate subject to be sent down into the lake for rescuing. Based on his behavior as of late I had my suspicions that the person Krum would like to see on the bottom of the lake waiting for his rescue was my Hermione.

"Our champions will face many perils beneath the surface of the lake," Bagman said as if he was telling a great ghost story. "The first obstacle they must surmount is a pack of grindylows hiding amongst the sea weed at the lake bottom."

I saw the smug smirk on Lupin's a few rows down and I took that to mean Hermione was well versed on how to successfully thwart a grindylow. I nodded to myself as I let go of that fear and paid slightly more attention to what Bagman while I was staring flatly at the still surface of the lake.

"A little birdy told this judge there may even be a hippocampus lurking somewhere in those murky waters to challenge the champions," Bagman told the crowd.

I looked to Lupin again, unsure of what threat such an animal would hold. I saw first that his brows rose in confusion and then he hid a chuckle with a cough. So either the hippocampus was a joke, or it held no real threat. I wracked my brain for what the animal was, and all I kept coming up with was the visual of a tiny little sea horse. Could that actually be what it was? Was that a joke that Bagman had told, or was I remembering the creature inaccurately?

"There is also a Kappa or two waiting to spring on our unsuspecting champions should the find themselves in the wrong part of the lake," Bagman explained and I had to stifle a growl.

Occasionally Kappas would play innocent pranks, but they had been known to sexually assault woman as well, and if a creature like that were to lay a slimly partially human hand on Hermione I would kill it and whoever had the brilliant idea to put one in the lake to begin with.

"And of course there are mermaids in the lake," Bagman chuckled. "There quaint little home is the location our champions seek as their treasured companions are being held captive there. They have one hour to retrieve their person, well only about 40 minutes now."

He was still chuckling at his observation that twenty minutes had passed when the surface of the lake was disturbed with bubbles that announced someone was coming to the surface.

"Look at that, we might just have our first champion returning now," he announced with glee as we all watched the water.

Two heads broke the surface and I immediately recognized the messy brown mop and the red sleeves that were Hermione, but surprisingly it wasn't Harry she was pulling with her as she swam toward the shore. It was the French girl, and she fairly pitiful choking up lake water and cradling her arm as Hermione pulled her to the water's edge. Madam Pomfrey pulled the girl from Hermione's arms, and I barely made out her voice saying she thought the other girls arm was broken by the grindylows.

Hermione didn't wait to see if Madam Pomfrey would agree with her diagnosis, she simply turned around, recast the bubble head charm, and swam back out into the lake. I watched her until she disappeared and then I focused in on Delacour who was crying her eyes out as Madam Pomfrey healed her arm and bundled her up in blankets. The girl continued to cry as she was forced to take a pepper up potion and from what I could understand from the mix of French and English she was spouting she was worried about her sister being left at the bottom of the lake since she could not swim.

"Well it appears the Hogwarts Champion has been forced to rescue the Beauxbaton champion from a rather brutal grindylow attack," Bagman announced of the commotion. "This will disqualify Miss Delacour from being able to return to the lake, but she will still be scored for the twenty minutes of the task she did participate in."

There was a mix of cheering and booing at that, but eventually the crowd settled backed down much like the water had.

"Time will tell if Miss Granger will be able to return within in the time limit after using precious time to deliver Miss Delacour to the surface safely," Bagman continued. "Though this judge must say he thinks she should be rewarded for her selfless act of saving a competitor."

I had known for a while that Ludo Bagman enjoyed placing bets on sporting events, but it wasn't until that comment that I began to suspect he may have placed a bet on this tournament. If his words meant what I thought they did, there was most likely a goblin somewhere holding a sizable bet on the success of Hermione Granger in Bagman's name.

"Rest assured friends and fans, Miss Delacour's little sister will not be left at the bottom of the lake," Bagman announced when he too noticed that the French girl was still crying. "Hogwarts very own game keeper and care of magical creatures professor, Rubeus Hagrid will go in to retrieve her after the completion of the task."

That did seem to calm the girl slightly, and her cries turned in to subtle sniffles. I tore my eyes away from her when I saw the surface of the lake being disturbed once more. A sharks head broke through, and with him came the dopy mug of his fellow student.

"Viktor Krum is the first champion to return with his hostage," Bagman cheered as Krum transfigured his head back into that of a human. Thought if you asked me he still looked vastly unattractive. "And with only ten minutes to spare until the end of the hour."

There was a round of cheering in which I clapped half-heartedly as the two boys made their way out of the lake and into the clutches of Madam Pomfrey who wrapped them in blankets and plied them with healthy doses of pepper up potion. I noted that the boys didn't even seem to be friends when they sat on opposite sides of the platform. I wondered if Karkaroff had simply been hoping the other boy would drown when I saw him glaring down at the boy as he tried to make conversation with the distraught French girl who he seemed to find very attractive. Krum sat watching the lake instead of paying any mind to his 'friend' and I was certain he was waiting for a glimpse of Hermione when she came back out of the lake.

"Just thirty seconds now folks until we breach the one hour mark," Bagman announced with a hint of frustration in his voice. "Still no sign of the Hogwarts champion."

The crowd was nearly silent, as if we were all holding our breath watching the surface. I could practically hear a clock ticking, winding down the last seconds while we waited to see if she would make it. As we drew into the last ten seconds Bagman began to count them out loud.

When he hit five we could see the surface of the lake moving about once more, and we leaned forward in our seats. Would she make it in time? He said two and the bubbling at the surface reached a breaking point. Right when he said one, three heads broke the surface and I joined in the uproarious cheer that Hermione had slid in at the very last second to avoid being disqualified.

"I can't believe it!" Bagman cheered. "Not only has Miss Granger made it back in time, but she retrieved Miss Delacour's hostage as well!"

I was watching Harry and Hermione tow the little girl to shore when I noticed the group of merpeople who had come to the surface. They swam up to the water's edge where they spoke with Albus, Karkaroff, Madam Maxine, Bagman, and Percy Weasley who had been sent to replace Crouch who was being hospitalized for his insane behavior. I did not speak mermish, so it all just sounded like screeching to me, but Albus at least seemed to gather something from what he heard and translated that to the other judges.

"Well it seems the merpeople can attest to the continued selfless and brave behavior of the Hogwarts champion," Bagman announced as they walked away from the lake and the group of merpeople disappeared below the surface. "She fought valiantly when the captors tried to stop her from retrieving the other hostage, and we judges have decided her behavior merits a perfect score of 50 points."

I joined the crowd in cheering once more, but my eyes were trained on Hermione who was steaming at the ears after ingesting the pepper up potion and leaning into Harry bundled up in their respective blankets. They both looked like they were freezing, but they were laughing together about something.

"Viktor Krum will be awarded 35 points for his performance in today's challenge," Bagman continued. "And Fleur Delacour will be awarded 20 points for her efforts."

There was more applause, but my eyes were trained on Viktor Krum as he leaned forward and stuck his hand into Hermione's hair. He pulled something out and offered her a smile and an explanation that I couldn't hear from where I was seated. I did hear Harry's response however.

"Get your hands off her you creep," he shouted at Krum dropping his blanket to pull Hermione closer to him and further from Krum. "How long is going to take you to figure out that she isn't available and she certainly isn't interested in you!"

People turned to stare, looking scandalized, but I was surprised to discover my sudden admiration for the Potter boy. He was making a complete ass of himself to defend the honor of my girl. He didn't have much to gain accept making Hermione happy, but in turn he had made me very happy as well. Krum had to decency to look embarrassed and pull further away from Hermione, for which I was grateful. Perhaps he would finally get the point that she was taken. I had the sudden urge to mark her in some way so that something like this could not happen again. Maybe I should ask her to wear her necklace more often? Or perhaps I should consider an entirely different symbol of my claim on her.

-`-'-

I hadn't realized while I sat lake said thinking about the claim I had on the woman I loved that such a claim would come under fire ever let alone in the near future. And yet, about a week after the second task an article ran in the paper about Hermione's sordid love triangle. I sat at the head table in the great hall to shocked to eat my breakfast as I read the article that was detail her supposed relationship with both Harry Potter and Viktor Krum. I read through the story concocted by Rita Skeeter astounded by the detail of the picture that she painted off of such a small interaction that I was under the impression she hadn't even been present for.

I was disgusted to discover that Slytherin's Pansy Parkinson had given an interview about Hermione's lewd behavior and loose ethics. The girl was absolutely disgusting in the picture she painted of Hermione and I was overwhelmed with urge to give out detentions or deduct points out of pure anger. I took a deep breath to calm myself and finished the article, surprised to find Skeeter had even snuck me in on the closing sentence, grousing for sympathy that I had been left high and dry by the scarlet woman I had fallen for.

The whole thing was obscene! I tossed the paper on the table in disgust before looking over to Gryffindor table to see if Hermione had received her copy of The Daily Prophet yet. I saw her eyebrows over the top of the paper she was reading and I watched them climb steadily higher as she read more. I knew when she finished the article because she very gingerly set the paper down on the table shaking her head subtly at Harry when he reached for it. She stood gracefully her face devoid of emotion and made her way quietly out of the great hall. Subconsciously she rubbed at the back of her head, and I recognized it as the same technique I had seen her employ this summer to refrain from crying.

Just like that I could not contain my fury. I picked up my copy of the paper and walked briskly from my seat at the end of the table to the center of the table where Albus sat eating his meal and chatting amicably with Professor McGonagall.

"Say what you will about school rules," I spoke stiffly into his ear so that no one else would hear me before tossing the paper onto his breakfast plate. "This article and the fall out that will come from it is entirely your fault."

"Severus?" he questioned, surprised by my hostility and my interruption of his breakfast. "Surely this article will blow over like all the others that silly woman writes."

"But don't you see," I pointed out angrily as I stepped back from him in an effort to restrain the urge to hit him. "This article is written about a girl who has just barely pieced herself back together after a horrible tragedy. And it paints her as someone trying to hurt the golden boy, so she is guaranteed to get back lash from the wizarding community."

"I think you may be overreacting," Albus said coolly, revealing his own anger at my disrespectful behavior.

"Yes, well, if Hermione does not receive any hate mail I will be certain to make a formal apology for my overreaction," I said made a stiff departure

I had Hermione first during my first class of the day, so I would be able to get a better reading on how she was holding up. I made a quick trip down to my classroom and began putting the days lesson up on the board, hoping that perhaps Hermione would show up early affording me the opportunity to talk to her along. I was still waiting for her five minutes past the time that class was supposed to have started. I begrudgingly started the lesson without her and wondered if she was hiding away somewhere crying.

* * *

 **Ch:14 Songs for this chapter: One Way Or Another by Blondie and Requiem on Water by Imperial Mammoth**

 **HPOV**

I tugged at the hair at the nape of my neck, fighting off the urge to cry as I walked away from the great hall. I should have gone to the potions classroom, class would start soon and Severus was sure to be there, but instead my feet carried me up the stairs. A new idea was brewing in my head, and I needed to go to the library in order to research it. But first, a trip to the owlery, to send a much needed letter to the editor of the paper.

I took a seat on the pellet strewn floor and pulled parchment and quill from my bag. I continued rubbing the back of my head with my left hand, and used my right to pen an angry letter demanding a retraction of today's article upon threat of a lawsuit for slandering my name to the public. I meant every word of the letter even if I thought a retraction was pointless. The damage had already been done. My face was plastered all over the paper with horrible lies being spewed about me. Everyone will have already seen it, and the retraction would likely be on line in the back of the paper that essentially no one would read. I wanted them to run a retraction out of spite, but also because it would show Rita Skeeter that I wouldn't take her abuse lying down. I made a point to demand that the charge of engaging in a relationship with a minor be publicly denounced if the paper intended to stay out of the court room.

As soon as the letter was finished I attached it to the leg of a nearby school owl. I watched the tawny feathered bird fly out of the window, and then I made my way out of the room. I no longer felt the urge to cry, I was on a mission. I walked with a purpose down to the library and began pulling out any book I could find about magical surveillance.

I scoured book after book, trying to find some way to place a wiretap on someone without the aid of wires. I found ways to increase a person's hearing, as well as ways to magnify a person's voice, but nothing seemed to be quite right. Madam Pince was running me out of the library before I was anywhere near done, and as I beat a hasty retreat from her shooing arms I realized I had inadvertently skipped the entire day of classes.

I should have gone to find a fellow seventh year to find out what I had missed. Or maybe I should have gone back to Gryffindor and climbed into bed. Or maybe I should have tracked down Pansy Parkinson and used a little negative reinforcement for her unjust behavior. But instead I left the library and walked steadily lower through the castle floors, bringing myself closer to the one place I wanted to be. I didn't want to talk to Harry or Ron or anyone else. I just wanted to go to Severus. And so as I hurried through the halls I hardly saw my surroundings.

I rushed into the dungeons, lucky not to find any other students lingering in the hallway. I opted to take the shortest route and slid into the potions class room. I swept past the tables and around the desk to the patch of wall I knew would admit me to his sitting room. I placed my hand against the cool stone and it shimmered out of existence and I found myself looking into the room I most wanted to be in. Severus was nowhere to be seen, but I stepped inside anyway.

"Severus?" I called out, hoping he was just in another room.

I was greeted with silence, but I ventured forward to look around his quarters anyway. He really and truly wasn't there, but I wasn't quite ready to leave. So I took a seat on the hearth watching the fire as it warmed me. As I waited the desperate need for Severus grew to a fever pitch in me, and with it so did my anxiety. I needed him for many reasons, but right now I need him to assure me that he loved me, that he wanted to be with me, that he knew that I was only his, and I need him to be only mine.

By the time I heard him enter his quarters I had worked myself into a right state over the whole thing. I stood from my position by the fire and turned to face him. He stood frozen in the doorway, surprised to see me here.

"Come here," I demanded of him, my need overriding my manners.

He stepped into the room swiftly, the doorway disappearing behind him. He crossed the sitting room to stand directly before me, his face plainly displaying his concern and affection.

"Tell me that you love me," I commanded, needing to hear it right this second.

"I absolutely love you," he said reverently, reaching up to ghost his fingers over my cheek.

"Tell me that you know everything in that article was a lie," I pushed, ignoring the slight quaver in my voice that betrayed the vast array of emotion I was feeling.

"I would not for a second believe that anything in that article held a grain of truth," he promised me, leaning into place a kiss on my forehead.

I latched onto the front of his robes, refusing to let him to put any distance between us when his lips left my skin. He shuffled his feet forward to bring himself closer still and I breathed in the scent of him. It helped the tiniest bit to have him this close, to hear his words echoing in my head, but still it wasn't enough. There was a cacophony of emotion building up in me, and the need to claim him was fighting for my attention over the need to unleash the anger that was inside of me. I wanted to make love to him, but I also wanted to hurt someone, and as those two conflicting emotions battled for dominance inside of me my body remained locked in place.

"I want to fuck you," I breathed finally.

He sucked in a breath of air in surprise, and then he leaned in to gently press his lips against mine. I growled in anger shoving him away.

"No, I don't want to make love to you," I said as I advanced, closing the distance I had created between us. "I want to fuck you."

And without further preamble I grabbed the front of his teaching robes and pulled as hard as I could tearing buttons loose and leaving his chest partially exposed. I fisted my hands in his hair roughly, pulling his mouth to mine harshly, knowing my lips would be bruised in the morning. His hands found purchase on my back as he pulled me tightly against his body.

"You're playing too nice," I hissed as I broke our kiss.

I released his hair and set to work pulling his robes the rest of the way open and exposing the top of his trousers I smirked when I saw his belt and nimbly unfastened it and pulled it from its loops as he pushed my robes from my shoulders more gently than I would have liked.

"Come now, clearly I've been a bad girl to merit such a public thrashing," I sneered at his gentleness as I wrapped part of his belt around my hand. "Don't you want to punish me?"

I didn't wait for an answer from him, instead I snapped the belt so that it lashed against his thigh. He hissed, on hand closing on my belt wrapped hand, the other grabbing my hair tightly enough that it cocked my head to the side. I let loose a shaky breath, my arousal spiking at his participation.

"You want me to punish you?" he said in a deadly voice as he maneuvered us closer to the wall by the fireplace.

I nodded my head as best I could with how tightly he held my hair. He swiftly released my hair, and flipped me around so my back was too him. He pressed me into the wall, placing my hands against the stone above my head as he snatched the belt out of my hand. There was a moment of stillness, and then the belt snapped through the air, stinging the flesh of my backside when it made contact. He snapped the belt again, harder, and I cried out.

Something about that affected him and I heard the sound of the belt buckle hitting the floor before I felt him pressed against my back. My chest was pressed tighter into the wall with his exposed chest pressing into my back. He slid his arm around my front and unfastened my jean swiftly plunging his hand down into my curls and causing me to cry out in an entirely different way as he made circles that drove me insane.

I brought my hands down from where they rested on the wall. I pushed them behind me, wrapping them behind his back so I could pull him in closer. I drug my nails sharply across his skin while he made me moan into the cold stone. He hissed when I broke the skin on his lower back, his hips jutting forward against mine.

"Damn it Hermione," he groaned when I scratched again. "This is wrong."

"No it isn't," I barked as I forced his hand away from me so I could turn on him, feeling drunk on the confusing emotions rushing through my body. "You should want to punish me for being unfaithful to you."

"You haven't—"

I didn't let him finish whatever he was going to say. I attacked his mouth once more, holding him tightly to me with one hand as I forced my jeans and knickers off with the other. When they were pooled at my feet I released his head so I could use both of my hands to free him from his pants. I broke our kiss so I could push his pants down off of his hips and then I stopped and looked up into his troubled eyes, my breath huffing in my chest as I fought to find some semblance of control in this situation.

"Right here, against this wall," I panted at him backing up to place my spine directly against the wall, waiting for him.

"Hermione," he questioned, his voice pained.

"Severus," I shouted a roaring beginning in my ears.

Apparently that was all I had to say. He grabbed my hips, pushing me up the wall as he slid into place between my legs. He slammed his hips forward, entering me in one smooth motion, and he was the one to cry out at the sensation. I bit my lip and tried to focus on the feel of him inside of me instead of the sound in my ears and the tight feeling in my chest.

He pounded into me, and I bucked against him gripping his shoulders as tightly as I could, trying to find something that felt good. Searching for anything that took away this horrible gnawing needy feeling inside my chest. He felt good, but the roaring in my ears only seemed to get louder. The tightness in my chest increased until I could hardly breathe, and I realized with disgust that my eyes were burning and I was beginning to cry. I beat my fist against his chest, fighting for control, still matching his thrusts, trying to hide the shaky breathes that betrayed the fact that I was crying.

"Hermione," Severus said softly, grabbing the hand I was pummeling him with.

A sob tore loose from my throat as I let my body slump. I slid off of him dropping to my knees before him as I cried. He tried to pick me up but I flopped like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, sliding out of his grasp. I grabbed his left thigh with one hand, my nails digging into his flesh as I pulled him tighter against me. I leaned forward with the intention of taking him into my mouth, tears be damned.

"No Hermione," he said firmly but with a sadness coloring his voice as he placed his hand on my shoulder and pushing back so I couldn't lean forward and finish what I had started.

"Yes Severus," I cried trying to pull his hand off of me so I could move again. "If I'm going to be a dirty whore, at least let me be yours."

"You are not a whore," he said fiercely as he dropped to his knees in front of me pulling my face into his hands, trying to force me to look him in the eye.

"I may as well be," I shuddered, no longer able to see him through the tears obscuring my vision.

I lost myself in the tears then, and he pulled me into his arms. He rocked me gently whispered into my hair soothingly as I went completely to pieces in front of him. I shuddered, cried, and hit out every emotion that was ripping through me until I was left laying against his chest quietly my face wet and my body exhausted.

When I had stilled, no longer fighting him or crying he began to move me gently. He delicately dressed me while I held onto him almost as if I were a child. I had to release him temporarily while he pulled his own pants back on, leaving his robes on the floor as he scooped me up and carried me into his bedroom.

He lay me down on the bed gently caressing me as he continued to try to soothe me. He whispered to me that I was not a whore, and that no one in their right mind would believe anything they read in that article. He shushed and rubbed until I slipped away into a deep sleep at his side.

-`-'-

I woke in the middle of the night, Severus sleeping fretfully beside me and I snuck away. A part of me was ashamed of what had happened and the rest of me just wanted to get back to Gryffindor tower and into my own bed before someone pointed out that I was missing. It was late at night so I met not student or faculty as I snuck through the halls. I did have a brief run in with Nearly Headless Nick, and the friendly Gryffindor ghost looked very concerned for me. He asked more than once if I was okay, and when I kept brushing him off, trying to hurry away, he bluntly asked if someone had hit me as my face looked red and swollen.

I brushed him off with a story about a clumsy accident and ran the rest of the way to the tower hurrying through the portrait hole without bothering to check if the ghost was following me. I sprinted up the stairs to my dormitory, only slowing when I reached to top of the stairs so my loud footsteps would not wake the other girls. I quietly slid into my pajamas in the darkness, and climbed into my bed, glad I had left my bed hangings closed today so the other girls might believe I had been here the whole time.

I laid in my bed for a long time, but I couldn't fall asleep. I whiled away the last few hours of the night tossing and turning in my bed, but as the sun started to rise I gave up on the whole routine and went to take a shower. I looked at my reflection in the mirror as I made my way to the shower, and I saw that my lips were in fact bruised and a bit puffy, but the redness had faded entirely.

I took my time showering off the traces of last night, gathering my courage to face the student body today. Not to mention facing the faculty after I had skipped all of my classes the day before. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun, excited that my hair was finally long enough to do that. I painstakingly applied the makeup I had acquired after our forced break up to make my face and lips look entirely normal. When my face no longer looked like I had been in some sort of fight I marched back into the main room wrapped up in a towel to find something to wear.

The girls were just starting to rise from their bed, but I made a point not to look at them or speak to them. I wasn't ready for contact with people who didn't know me well enough to know that article wasn't true just yet. So instead I focused on pulling on my green and black splatter print dress. I thought I heard one of the girls approaching me so I hurried to slide on the bracelets I wanted to wear and a pair of black flats. I snatched my robes and my school bag off the top of my trunk and high tailed it out of the room before anyone could say anything to me.

I hurried down the stairs, pulling my robes off as I went, and almost plowed Harry over when I emerged from the staircase to find him waiting for me in the common room. He reached out to slow my momentum while stepping back slightly to absorb my impact without falling over.

"Hey, slow down," he laughed as he released my arms.

"Breakfast?" I asked, already feeling rattled and unable to process proper polite responses.

"Yeah okay," he said his brows climbing higher as he looked at me leaning in to look closely at my face. "Did you… did someone… is your lip swollen?"

"A bit, long story, and nothing to worry about," I babbled as I rushed out of Gryffindor tower Harry following in my wake. "How many people do you think read The Daily Prophet."

"Do you want me to answer honestly?" he asked me as he jogged to keep up with the pace I was keeping.

"No," I sighed as I started to descend the stairs with Harry hot on my tail.

"Nobody reads that rag," he said firmly, trying to convince me or maybe just himself. "It's a joke of a paper and no one takes it seriously. They don't even take it seriously enough to read it."

"You are an awful liar," I groaned in frustration as we hit the marble stair case that would lead us to the great hall. "Answer honestly instead."

"A lot of people read the paper," he said quietly, somberly. "But that doesn't mean that a lot of people take Rita Skeeter seriously. Anyone who matters won't believe a word of that article."

"I should believe that," I sighed, slowing to a walk as we approached the entrance to the great hall. "I should believe everything I told Hagrid when I was trying to get Hagrid to leave his hut, but instead I want to go hide in his hut myself."

"Well he would probably let you," Harry shrugged as we slid into our seats on opposite sides of the end of the Gryffindor table. "But I don't think you should do that."

I was about to tell him that he was probably right, but I was distracted by the veritable parliament of owl flying into the great hall. They didn't break up to disperse about the hall like they normally did. Instead they were staying grouped together, and I realized with a sinking stomach that the group of 10 owls were flying toward. My stomach sunk further when I saw that five of the letters were red and already smoking. Howlers, in a crowded room, peachy.

"I'm really thinking about that hut idea right about now," I sighed as the owls started landing. "Help me get the howlers open so they all shout at the same time?"

I he nodded, and as soon as the owls landed we started prying red envelopes free and tearing them open. The hall was immediately filled with five shrill women's' voices screaming at the same time. A fracas of sound surrounded us, making it almost impossible to discern individual letters. Having the howlers shouting at me was mortifying, but at least most of the other students were unlikely to be able to understand what was being said. I picked out a few individual and incredibly insulting words, but I fought to keep my features neutral in order to refrain from revealing any more of the nature of the letters.

When the shouting ended and the letters burnt out of existence in front of us Harry and I shared a brief look. I knew without him speaking that he had picked up parts of the letters as well. He understood that I was receiving these letters because of the supposed injury I had inflicted upon his heart, and I could see that he felt guilty because of it. I shook my head at him and picked up the first of the letters.

I scanned the hastily scrawled letter, reading about what the person believed my failings were as a human. I was particularly stunned by the attack on my character for 'intentionally hurting a fellow war hero' but I did my best not to show a reaction to it. I tossed the letter to the side, wincing when I saw Harry pick it up to read it, and moved on to the next letter.

It was more hurtful than the last one, but I struggled through it. I read each letter, feeling my anxiety grow as each person attacked me verbally for how they felt I had mistreated Harry Potter. It was startling to see who quickly my reputation was altered with one article in the paper. I fought to keep a smile on my face; to stop anyone from seeing me fall apart over how hurtful the whole situation. I cast a spell to incinerate the letters that sat between us and then I stared determinately at the wall behind Harry while I ate my eggs and tried to lower my heart rate.

"Can you think of any espionage techniques," I asked him stiffly after sipping my juice. "I mean that would work at the castle. I'm drawing a blank and I can't find anything."

"Invisibility cloak?" he suggested his face telling me that he was surprised by my choice of subject.

"I thought of that possibility, but something tells me that it's something else," I mused, no longer bothering with the façade that I was eating my breakfast. "Those cloaks are hard to come by, and for some reason my gut tells me she'd go a different route."

"Maybe she's just really good at blending in when she follow someone," he said half-heartedly.

"Maybe," I sighed running through spells of the same nature as the disillusionment charm.

I was wracking my memory for any shimmering areas at the lake, or anything that might tip me off to me off to a spell at work. I was running my hand through the hair at the base of my head trying to find the answer but nothing was coming. I stood from my seat giving Harry a noncommittal wave left the great hall. I made my way toward the transfiguration classroom for my first lesson of the day still thinking about that vile woman and what she had caused.

I tried to focus on the lesson on how to perform the spell that would allow us to turn a table into a dog but my mind just kept wandering. It was a double lesson but I didn't get much out of it. I just spent the entire morning beating myself up for being unable to sift out what Skeeter was doing.

When she released us I should have made my way down to the great hall to get some lunch since I hadn't really eaten much at breakfast, but my feet just kept carrying me lower into the castle and I found myself not standing outside the great hall but instead at the door of Severus's chambers once more. I shook my head, placing my hand on the expanse of wall that would let me in, knowing he was the only person that could make me feel better right now.

"Hermione?" he questioned when I appeared in his sitting room and found him tuning from where he had been staring into his fireplace. "How are you doing today?"

"I need you," I whispered as I dropped my bag and started to shuck my robes off as I walked toward him.

"I don't think that's a good idea," he said as he reached out to still my movements.

"I want you," I said petulantly, shaking my shoulders in an attempt to get my robes off anyway.

"No Hermione," he said, his face looking pained, as he gently brushed his fingers over my swollen and tender lip.

It was a tender gesture, but it angered me. I was throwing myself at him and he was rejecting me, however gently, and it angered me. I was angry, and I was hurt. And for the second time in less than 24 hours I found myself in his presence both wanting to kiss him and to hit him.

"Fine," I snapped at him ripping myself out of his arms. "I don't want you either then."

His mouth opened like he was going to argue with me, but I didn't give him a chance. I pulled my robes back up onto my shoulders and snatched up my bag as I stormed out of his chambers. I stomped my way up to the library deciding to search through the books for some answer about Skeeter in an effort not to think about what had just happened. My heart rate was up, and my face was burning with the anger that was coursing through me, but I fought to retain some semblance of normalcy as I flipped through library books, stifling a groan of frustration when I saw that Krum was in the library once more.

I received an annoyed clucking of the tongue from my left and turned my head to see Madam Pince giving me the stink eye. I looked down and saw that I was turning the pages of the book in my hand so roughly that one of the pages had a miniscule tear at the bottom of the page. I set the book down with a sigh and walked out of the library before she could get started on a rant about the proper way to treat a book.

I stormed off once more in the direction of my charms lesson, staring at the ground as I moved through the corridor. Perhaps if I had been looking up I could have diverted into a side corridor to avoid running into the worst possible person, but I didn't. Instead I ran headlong into Pansy Parkinson, and as she stumbled back spewing complaints at me I felt my anger coming to a head with a singular target in front of me.

I stepped forward, closing the space between us, towering over the short Slytherin girl and I shook with the rage that was pumping through me. I kept my mouth shut, clenching and unclenching my fists at my sides as I battled to keep myself from physically assaulting this girl. She cowered before me, but stopped her shouting seeming to understand that I was on the verge of losing it one her.

I started to bring my hand up, deciding that she deserved at least one good punch, but I felt hands close around my arms. I was jerked away from her and spun so I was face whoever was holding me. I was startled to find it was Severus was the one holding me and he had a stern look on his face.

"Ten points from both Slytherin and Gryffindor for unbecoming behavior in the hallways," he said looking from me to Pansy with a frustrated look on his face. "You should both continue on to your classes if you wish to avoid a detention."

"Gladly," I snapped at him, pulling free of his arms and sweeping away, deliberately crashing my shoulder into Pansy as I passed her.

"Another five points from Gryffindor," he called after me sounding like he didn't really want to take the points.

"Bugger off wanker," I muttered under my breath loud enough that I was sure her heard me, but quietly enough that he could chose to pretend he hadn't heard it if he wanted to.

I turned into the charms classroom in a huff and slammed my things down onto the table before taking my seat. Flitwick was the only person present in the room so far, and I made a point not to look at him so he would not be tempted to ask me if I was alright. I rubbed my temples with my eyes closed, trying in vain to calm myself before the lesson started.

It didn't work. I remained in such a blind rage that I couldn't have told you what the lesson was about. I couldn't remember even attempting whatever spell he was trying to teach us. It was like one minute I sat down in my seat, and the next minute I was following the other students out of the classroom. I just shook my head, and put one foot in front of the other.

I was supposed to go to the third floor for my next lesson, but instead I made my way out of the castle. The snow had long since melted away, but it was still rather cold outside. I pulled my robe tighter around me, and slung my bag over my shoulder more securely as I made my way toward the lake. I wasn't wearing the proper attire for a run, but I was going to walk a few laps around the shore of the lake while I tried to calm myself. Apparently my refusal to skip classes no longer existed.

I barely made it a quarter of the way around the shore before I ran into one of the last people I wanted to see. Krum moved swiftly to stand in my way, forcing me to acknowledge his presence when he adjusted his position so I could not walk around him.

"Hermy-own," he said in his awful accented English, maneuvering again to block my procession. "I am not vishing to anger you."

"Well you are," I said petulantly coming to a stop and crossing my arms over my chest. "Why won't you just leave me alone?"

"You are reminding me of my fiancé," he said quietly, almost pleadingly. "She vas just like you before she vas having her accident."

That pulled me up short. I looked at him with new eyes. Was I misinterpreting his actions as being similar to a stalker when he was really just incredibly sad?

"What happened?" I heard myself ask while my mind raced to figure him out.

"She vas having a boating accident vhen ve returned to Bulgaria after the Quidditch Vorld Cup," he said, staring at the lake as he moved closer to me, seemingly out of instinct. "She is not being a good svimmer."

"I'm so sorry Viktor," I gasped, realizing how difficult it must be for him to stay on a ship all year, not to mention having the second task be to rescue someone important to him from the bottom of the lake.

"You are looking just like her," he said quietly reaching out toward me. "Her lips vere soft and pink."

He ran his thumb over my bottom lip as he said it, and I was astounded that my reaction wasn't to recoil. I felt a connection to him in my very soul. I knew his grief, not in the same way, but I understood the pain of losing someone you love and seeing reminders of them everywhere.

"She vas beautiful like you," he said sliding closer to me.

I realized with a shock that he was close enough that his hip was touching mine, and his hand was still on my face. Inadvertently I had gotten myself into an intimate position with him, and I didn't know what to do. I started step away from him, but he was staring into my eyes with his sad ones and I found myself locked in place, unable to move as his face came closer to mine. Somehow I didn't want to move, and that lead to his lips meeting mine.

I winced when he made contact with my bruised flesh and that snapped me out of the strange haze I had fallen in to. I tried to step back, but he kept a firm hold on the side of my face, pressing his lips against mine once more, and wrapping his other around my body holding me tightly against him.

"Danika please," he cried against my lips as I fought to pull myself free of his strong grip. "My love."

"Get off me," I shouted at him, pushing ineffectually against his chest, trying to get free. "I'm not Danika."

He placed another kiss on my lips before moving toward my throat and I attempted to kick him from my powerless position pinned against his body. I fought him as best I could, but he did not release me and he kept suckling at my neck while I begged him to stop.

I had begun to cry when I heard someone shouting and running towards us from behind me. I felt hands on my shoulder pulling backward as a fist seemed to come out of nowhere and collide with my assailants face. I stumbled backward into the arms of who I discovered to be Harry and saw Ron land a second blow on the surprised face of Viktor Krum.

I burrowed my face into Harry's shoulder to cry, noticing before I hid my eyes that there was a beetle on his shoulder. I was upset and a little scared of what had just happened, but suddenly all I could think of was that beetle. Hadn't there been a beetle in my hair when the fateful conversation that had led to the article in the paper? I pulled my head up and looked through blurry eyes to try and find that stupid bug, but it was gone.

I scrubbed at my eyes trying to see better, and as I began to focus more I realized that both Harry and Ron were shouting at Krum. He was shouting back as he and Ron fought, but it was all in Bulgarian so none of us understood a word of it.

"Hey!" Hagrid's booming voice rang out around us as he came barreling over from his hut. "Yeh two break it up!"

Harry pulled me to the side and Hagrid whizzed past us. He grabbed Ron by the neck of his robes with one hand and Krum by the neck of his robes with the other and wrenched them apart. The boys continued to struggle momentarily while he dangled them in the air. Ron seemed to realize he wouldn't get free first and he stopped struggling. Krum continued to struggle on for a while longer shout in Bulgarian at Hagrid now.

The shouting started to draw a crowd both of fourth year Hogwarts students and Durmstrang students. I was mortified to have a crowd seeing me while I was a sobbing mess so I buried my face in Harry's chest once more and he instantly understood my discomfort. He started walking me briskly back toward the castle with one arm wrapped around me shoulder and the other holding my head into his chest in a way that would hopefully obscure my identity from people who were watching. With my hair a little darker and curlier since it had grown out there was at least a shot at people not being sure who I was.

"Are you hurt?" he asked me as he hustled me into the entrance hall.

I shook my head, scrubbing away more tears/

"Okay, I'm going to take you to see Professor McGonagall then," he said as he led me toward the marble staircase. "You need to tell her what happened out there right away."

-`-'-

I was in Professor McGonagall's office for half an hour explaining the afternoon's events. My apology for skipping class was waved off as unnecessary in light of everything else. As soon as she was done with me I was sent back to Gryffindor tower and she went to speak with the head master. I felt surprisingly cold after my encounter so I bundled up in a blanket and sat on the floor of the common room just a foot and a half away from the fire. Harry sat beside me, and when Ron finally came back to the tower he joined us.

"You look like hell," I told him, my voice still hoarse from all the crying.

And he did look awful. He had a black eye, a fat lip, and his hair and clothing were rumpled.

"I look about as good as you sound," he chuckled. "Are you okay?"

"Just peachy," I said stiffly turning back to look at the fire.

"What happened out there?" he asked me quietly.

"I was mad, because I hadn't almost gotten into a fight with Pansy and Severus took points from me," I said quietly never looking away from the burning logs in front of me. "I went out to walk around the lake and try to cool down. That's where I ran into Krum, and he was telling me why he has been hovering around me."

"Why had he?" Harry interrupted.

"I look like his fiancé, who died this summer," I told him no longer having pity in my voice for Krum. "He was telling me about it, and I felt bad, so at first I didn't notice that he was moving closer to me. He touched my lips, and I just stood there stunned, I didn't react until he kissed me. I tried to move away from him but he was holding me too tightly, I couldn't get him off of me."

"Ugh I want to punch that wanker again," Ron growled pulling grass off of his robes and tossing it angrily into the fire. "It'd be worth more detentions to punch his stupid face again."

"You got detention?" I asked him, actually turning my head to look at him again.

"Yeah, apparently it's against school rules to physically assault people," he said with a crooked smirk. "Who knew?"

"Krum's just lucky it was us that saw that," Harry said quietly. "If Snape had been the one out on the grounds he probably would have murdered Krum for what he was doing."

I snorted, and the boys laughed. I didn't bother to say that I doubted that. I wasn't sure Severus and I were still together. He certainly didn't seem to want anything to do with me today; maybe he didn't want anything to do with me ever. I sat with the boys for a little longer, enjoying the fire while I stewed in my disgruntled thoughts about my love life. But eventually I bid them goodnight and went to take a long ho shower before climbing into bed.

-`-'-

Resolution did not come with the morning sun. Instead over breakfast I read another batch of hate mail, much of it more hurtful that the last batch. At least it seemed that those who intended to send howlers had gotten it out of the way, and I didn't have to endure another round of shouting and flaming letters. I also read an article in the paper that made me so blindingly angry that I threw the paper in a fit knocking over a pitcher of pumpkin juice before I stomped out of the great hall.

The paper had made Rita Skeeter write a retraction, and it actually ran front page. It was the opening line of an article that seemed to be a correction, and added that Ronald Weasley was involved in the twisted love affair. It told a skewed account of Ron and Krum coming to blows over me while Harry held me tightly in a supposedly romantic embrace.

I was absolutely sure of two things as I stormed out of the great hall. The first was that the beetle I seemed to be seeing everywhere had to be Rita Skeeter as an animagus. And the second was that, once again I was going to be missing class, because I was going straight into London to have a word with the editor of the paper.

I heard a chair being pushed out as I stomped my way away from the Gryffindor table. I thought I might have even heard footsteps trying to catch me, but I didn't stop. I picked up my pace as I crossed the entrance hall and pushed open the massive wooden doors leading out onto the grounds. I had to pass by the Durmstrang ship to leave the grounds, and I drew my wand out of a protective instinct.

There were no students from my school or theirs to bother me, so I made a quick journey from castle doors to iron gates. In a familiar motion, I turned to the left as I set foot outside the school grounds. Just before I was pulled into the void I caught a glimpse of who had been following me. It was a picture that struck a chord in my heart. Severus frozen in place a bit of his hair caught on his lip, his face looking stricken, and one hand extended out towards me. It was a painful image. He looked like he was physically in pain.

I pushed him from my mind so I could focus on my destination, with the pressure pushing in on me from all sides. I appeared in the middle of the sidewalk outside of a brown brick building, and it was pure luck that there wasn't anyone in the vicinity to see me. I had been stupid to apparent into downtown London without accounting for secrecy, but this time at least I had gotten lucky.

I mount the short flight of steps and pushed my way through the revolving door and into the brightly lit lobby of the Daily Prophet. There were front pages of past papers plastered all over the walls, and any other time I would have stopped to look at them, enjoyed a bit of history. Instead I blew past the receptionist who looked befuddled by my angry appearance, and barged my way into a corridor that looked promising. It lead into a bustling room where witches and wizards were hurrying out chattering about the articles they were working on. I drew a lot of stares as I walked through their midst, one witch dropping all of the parchment from her arms onto the floor when she recognized me.

Luckily for her sake, I did not see Rita Skeeter anymore. I did however spot an office door that had golden letters emblazoned on it that read editor. I made a beeline for the office, throwing open the door without so much as knocking. The shriveled old man behind the desk had fallen asleep, and jumped awake at the sound of the door crashing into the wall. He looked around confused until his eyes landed on me.

"What is the meaning of this young lady?" he asked, trying to sound firm as he reigned in his surprise.

"The meaning of this can be found in this morning's paper you fool," I snapped at him, crossing to stand directly in front of his desk.

"What?" he questioned, looking around before scooping the paper up off of his desk. "Do you have an issue with one of the articles?"

I watched him flipping through the paper looking for something offensive and I had to bite my tongue to keep from shouting a slew of expletives. Had he even read the paper before it went out?

"You'll find the article I am here about on the first page," I said icily, barely managing to keep my emotions in check. "It starts with the joke your paper calls a retraction."

"You're Hermione Granger." He said, setting the paper down, and instead picking up the letter I had sent him just days ago. "You were dissatisfied with Ms. Skeeter's retraction?"

"Did you even read the article before it went to print?" I asked, the pitch of my voice rising as I lost some of the control of my emotions.

"Well… I… of course I read it," he stuttered looking again at the paper.

I watched his eyes scroll across the page, the indignant look reaming on his face for a moment, but then I saw his face fall as he continued on down the page. His brows constricted in a distinctly fearful way as he finished the article, and I could tell he thought I was here to announce my lawsuit.

"I want her put on suspension," I said stiffly, my voice laced with acid. "Not only has she defamed my name once again, she has been stalking me and then altering events in my life to serve her stories about my imaginary love life."

"I will deal with her, you can rest assured," he rushed to sooth me, seeming to sense a disaster in the making if he upset me. "There will a full article written about how you have been mistreated, and it will not be written by Ms. Skeeter."

"She had better not, or so help me I will make good on my threat of a lawsuit." I snapped at him before turning on the spot.

I disappeared from his office leaving him in the lurch as I returned to the castle. I needed to be out of his presence before I lost all semblance of control and struck him, not to mention I really needed to return to school before I landed myself in real trouble. When I reappeared at the gate I was surprised to see that Severus till stood there. His arm was no longer outstretched, and his hair was back in order, but other than that it did not appear that he had moved.

I walked forward, stopping when I was standing within inches of him, but refraining from touching him. I drunk in his presence, basking in the feelings of love that I felt upon seeing him. I was too afraid to say anything, and possible coax out the breakup I felt was imminent in his refusal of me. He did not reach out to touch me, but it felt like the world was spinning around us and ghosts of touches we had shared were dancing over my skin. He stared into my eyes imploringly, and when I truly met his I saw the answer to my unasked question. I found the balm to my aching soul. His love was bleeding out all over me, but he did not say it as we stood out in the open. I could feel his palpable need to touch me, but we were exposed out here on the school grounds, so he could not.

"Why did they fight?" he asked, and I understood it was the only confusion he could settle while we stood here at the castle gates.

"He was kissing me against my will," I said clinically, in no rush to see the love burned out of his eyes by rage. "Ron made him stop."

His eyes fluttered closed, and his jaw snapped closed, clenching and unclenching as he fought to tame his anger. He let out one long sigh and then very slowly he opened his eyes and met mine again. His were like fire, and I was desperate to reach out and caress his face in reassurance that I was fine.

"I will have to thank Mr. Weasley," he said in a tight voice, and I understood that it was hard for him to be thankful toward the person responsible for the difficulties in our relationship. "I must admit however that I am surprised it was not Mr. Potter, he has been very protective of you as of late."

"He was preoccupied with said protection," I explained. "I was a bit of a mess and he was trying to hold me together."

I could see it in his eyes as he pictures me going to pieces. I could sense his need to be the one holding me together. His simultaneous relief that Harry had been there, and frustration that it had been Harry who had been there and not him.

"I should go to class," I said looking up toward the castle. "But perhaps this evening will run into you in the dungeons."

He gave me a slight nod as I began to walk away, and I knew he had understood what I was really saying. He would be expecting me in his chambers tonight, and I had a feeling I wouldn't have to worry about him turning me away. I no longer felt the choking need to bury my emotions in intimacy with him, but I did want him to hold me, even if I couldn't stay for the whole night with him.

* * *

 **Ch:15 Song for this Chapter: Broken by Jack Johnson**

 **HPOV**

My morning was best described as peaceful. I rose with the sun from the bed I had shared with Severus, and we moved like a single unit into his bathroom to share a hot shower together before we would have to go our separate ways for the day. We shared tender touches as we lathered shampoo into one another's hair. Severus leaned in to still a quick kiss, and I couldn't help but chuckle when he pulled away with traces of my makeup on his lips.

"You look a bit silly with lipstick on," I chuckled at him as I reached out to brush it away.

"I think you could go without as well," he said in his deep baritone as he took the washcloth in his hand and began to gently wash the makeup off of my face.

He winced when he saw the extent of the bruising on my lips, but opted not to say anything. We both knew without saying anything that the bruises had started when I had been rough with him, but they had been exacerbated by the pressure that Krum had applied when he forced his affections on me.

He sighed, pressing his lips against my forehead before nudging me under the spray of the shower so he could wash the shampoo from my hair. I could feel that he was upset, but he didn't say anything out loud. Neither of us wanted to burst the bubble of tranquility we were hiding in this morning.

We swapped places, and I began to rinse the shampoo from his hair. I looked at his face and saw with a sinking feeling that he was staring at my arms not my face. I followed his line of sight, and had to stifle a groan when I saw that the water had created a tiny river down my arm, eroding away the concealer I had put there.

"May I?" he asked in a strained voice, pulling the washcloth into his hand once more.

It wasn't a question with an easy answer. If I said no, he would be upset that I was keeping something like this from him. If I said yes, he would see that my upper arms were bruised where Krum had retrained me, and he would be upset. Either way our little bubble would be burst.

"Ok," I said finally, letting my arms hang limp at my side so he could do what he wished.

He was exceedingly gentle as he washed away what was left of the makeup concealing the distinct hand marks on my upper arms, but I watched his face grow steadily angrier as they were revealed to him. When both of my arms were completely bare before him he took his hands off of me. He was staring at my arms, clenching and unclenching his fists as he fought to control the rage that was shining through his eyes.

"I'll kill him," he raged, slamming his hand against the stonewall, the load sound causing me to jump. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

He pulled me gently against his chest, wrapping me up in his arms in attempt to soothe me after scaring me. I could feel the tightness in his shoulders that told me he was still angry, but he did his best to soothe me instead of allowing his rage to control him.

"Don't do anything to him," I begged with my face buried against his chest. "You'll be fired."

"He hurt you," he said into my hair, his turmoil clear in his voice.

"Yes he did," I said deciding that honestly was the best policy. "But he'll get detention, and my arms will heal."

"He should be sent away at the least," Severus groaned. "Disqualified from the tournament, kicked off of his quidditch team, thrown into the streets. You don't man handle a woman like that. You don't try to force yourself on a woman."

"No you shouldn't," I agreed. "But he doesn't seem to be right in the head. He's grieving and its confusing him."

"Then he shouldn't be in the competition," Severus said coolly. "He should be speaking to a counselor."

"That same could probably be said about me," I said pointedly, pulling back so I could see his face. "I entered this thing because of the grief that I was drowning in. I can't hold that against him. Can you hold it against me?"

"No," he said after a long silence.

Then he kissed me again and we held one another under the spray of the water for a while before we finished out shower. We discussed how we would approach the situation as we dressed for the day, and it was decided that I would speak with Dumbledore about what had caused the incident at the lake side, and I would tell him that while I thought Krum should have to serve some sort of detention I didn't want anything more to come of it.

I left his chambers first so that we wouldn't be seen together, and so I could go have that conversation with the headmaster. I made my way to the headmaster's office, luck with me when I met him just as he was exiting the protected passage up to his office with what appeared to be a ministry official in tow. I hurried over to intercept him pushing a smile onto my feature. He sent the bulking wizard on his way, and turned to face me.

"Good morning Professor Dumbledore," I said stopping in front of him.

"Good morning Miss Granger," he responded, his eyes lingering on the bruises that Severus had been adamant I leave uncovered for this conversation on both my face and my exposed arms. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I wanted to speak with you about Viktor Krum," I said getting right to the point.

"Yes, I can see his actions have had quite the impact," he said as he looked away from my bruises and back into my eyes. "Is he troubling you further?"

"No he's kept his distance," I said quickly. "I just wanted to say that I think maybe there are extenuating circumstances surrounding his behavior. While I think he needs to speak with a therapist, I don't think he needs more than a few detentions."

"You're asking me to go easy on him, after he attempted to assault you?" he said with a raised brow.

"All I'm saying is if you ask him why he did it, you might understand what his real issue is a little better," I offered delicately. "Besides, if I'm going to win this tournament, I don't want it to be because one of my competitors was driven out of the competition."

"Fair enough," he said with a light chuckle. "If you want to sweep this under the rug then that is certainly your prerogative. If you'd like I could teach you're a charm to deal with the reminder."

I nodded, and he quickly taught me a charm for vanishing bruises. It was just a glamour, so they were still there, and I could still feel them, but no one else would be able to see them. I wondered on what occasion he would have to use such a spell, but I walked away bruise free without the use of makeup and that put a real smile on my face.

I went down to the great hall content to enjoy a little breakfast before another day off classes. When I entered the hall my happiness drained at the sight of 12 owls hover over the breakfast table looking for their mail recipient, who I could tell without much thought would be me. I walked over to the Gryffindor table to take a seat beside Harry and Ron and the birds followed my path. I sat down with a groan and waited for them to all land on the table.

"At least there aren't any howlers," Harry pointed out helpfully and I tried to must a smile for him

I grabbed the nearest owl that looked like it was at death's door, and pulled his letter free before offering it a bit of bacon. Clearly it owner was too concerned about sending hate mail to care about their pets well-being.

"Errol?" Ron said petting the owl gently and looking at it more closely. "My mom sent you a letter?"

That brightened my spirits a little, at least one piece of mail wouldn't be hurtful this morning. I broke the seal on the parchment and I began to read. The smile quickly fell from my face as the truth of the matter hit me in the face.

 _Hermione Granger,_

 _I have never been more disappointed in you in my entire life. The very idea that you are mistreating my son and his best friend to such an extent is disgusting. When Charlie told me that he had kept his word and not tipped you off that you would be facing dragons in the first task I was upset with him, but now I understand that he saw in you what none of us saw. You are a bad person young lady, and I demand that you stop associating with my son. You have done enough damage. It's a good thing your parents aren't here to see such unbecoming behavior._

 _Molly Weasley_

I bit my lip, staring at the letter in my hand, shocked by all of it. Clearly she read the prophet, but somehow hadn't been effected enough by the author to write on Harry's behalf. But suddenly when I was supposedly putting her son in harm's way, I was a demon spawn.

"Are you okay?" Ron asked, pressing his pumpkin juice glass against his swollen black eye.

"Did you know that your brother was here for the first task," I asked him in the calmest voice I could muster.

"No," he said, his brow rising up. "Why didn't he come see me?"

"Apparently he wanted to make sure I didn't find out the first task was dragons," I said stiffly, setting the letter down on the table. "I guess he saw what a bad person I was, and this justifies the behavior."

"What?" Harry said snatching up the letter to read it himself.

Ron leaned over to read it over his shoulder, and I blindly picked up the next letter off that had been pulled off of the leg of an owl by one of the boys. I was surprised to feel that it was rather heavy. When I tore open the seal yellow pus leaked out over my hands.

"Ahh," I cried out as it began to burn my flesh, distinctive boils rising up, I dropped the letter onto the table. "Ouch!"

"Is that Bubotuber Pus?" Harry asked in surprise.

"Undiluted I suspect," I forced out, struggling not to cry out again drawing further attention to myself. "I have to go."

I held my hands still as I moved quickly out of the hall. As much as I would have liked to shake off the pus that was burning my flesh, I didn't want to send it flying onto another student. I made it to the entrance hall before I gave up on not crying. So maneuvering the stairs became more difficult with tears blurring my vision.

-`-'-

And just like that I missed yet another day of classes. This time my day was spent having the boils on my hand painfully drained while attempting to carry on a conversation about my impending apprenticeship. Through gritted teeth I proposed that I take some other holistic medicine courses such as chiropractic and massage therapy. She was encouraged by my thirst to learn as much as I could, but she was adamant that my required studies be my primary focus.

It took most of the day to return my hands to their normal size, so it was probably best that there were no other patients to be dealt with throughout the day. My hands were covered in a green tinted salve that she told me she would teach me to brew this fall. It seemed she always ended up needing quite a bit for herbology accidents, and students who were up to mischief and got injured in the process. I had the title of being the first student to need it due to hate mail. She sent me on my way with the rather obvious advice not to open any mail that wasn't from someone I didn't know. I bit back the retort that some of my hate mail had come from someone I knew.

-`-'-

I kept getting the mail every morning, but I destroyed it all upon arrival, including a second letter from Mrs. Weasley that Ron swore was supposed to be an apology. I had no interested in any sort of communication with the woman after what she had written, but after the retraction article ran about what Rita Skeeter came, I began receiving daily letters from Ron's mother. He valued our tenuous friendship enough not to say anything when I put her letters directly into the trash.

I did my best to ignore the post issue and instead focused on finding a way to catch Rita Skeeter in the act of spying. If I could catch her I would have her by the short hairs. One thing I had found in my searches through the library was that she was not a registered animagus. I would see her jailed if I could swing it. Or perhaps that was my tender healing fingers talking.

Between my extracurricular witch hunt and sneaking in anytime I could with Severus, school was nearly as overwhelming as it had been last year with the time turner. We were careening toward the end of the year at a rapid place, and unlike the other champions I would not be skipping the end of year examinations. It was my NEWT year, and I needed those results for my internship. So I was spending any moment I could find reviewing any tidbit that might be on one of the tests.

I found myself wondering if Severus was annoyed with me when our late night romps turned into me quizzing him about any fact I wanted to verify, or bullying him into running flash cards with me. We would lay entwined on his couch, and instead of kissing I would expound a theory about a spell or a potion, pushing for his response on if he thought I was right or not. He was a very good sport about it, and it led to some very fun outbursts of his ignored affections.

One Friday in the middle of May was my favorite of those little outbursts. He dismissed the seventh year potion lesson barking out an assignment to write an essay about truth potions. The rest of the class began to gather their things and filter out, but I made my way toward the front of the room.

"Excuse me Professor," I said making my way toward the front of the room as the last of the students left. "I was hoping you could show me how to spot the difference between aconite and monkshood."

"I'll certainly show you something," he said huskily, as he brandished his wand at the classroom door, putting up wards as he came around the front of his desk.

"Oh?" I said, picking up the mood he was in and setting my bag down on his desk. "What are you going to show me?"

He swept me up, grabbing my hips and lifting me up to set me on his desk. He pushed my hair to the side, nuzzling my neck as he slid in between my legs, pushing my skirt up and out of his way.

"I'm going to show you the kind of trouble you get in to when you tempt me with those legs," he whispered into my ear before he pulled my earlobe into his mouth.

He massaged his way up the legs he was just referencing, and by the time his hands met my hips I was moaning into his shoulder where I had buried my face. He gave up kissing my neck, and pushed my skirt up higher and pulled my hips forward. I crashed into his body and I was suddenly aware of his excitement.

"Oh," I gasped, pushing my hips against him again. "Hello there."

"Are you just getting acquainted?" he asked as he ground himself against me in the most delicious way. "My little friend has been here pestering me for the entire lesson."

"Mmm I like your friend," I told him as I leaned back on his desk, pushing my bag off so it tumbled onto the floor behind his desk. "Perhaps he should spend some time with mine."

His response was a hungry growl as he pulled my shirt down and began peppering my chest with kisses. He grew impatient with the foreplay and he lifted my hips up off the desk so he could tear off the underwear I had on. His hand was on the button to his slacks when a knock sounded on the door. We both froze, waiting to see if the person would knock again.

"Severus are you in there?" the voice of Albus Dumbledore called from behind the door.

Well it had been my favorite up until that point anyway.

"Just a second," Severus said over his shoulder.

I slid off the desk, pushing him out of my way so I could snatch my discarded panties off of the floor. I flew around behind the desk so I could scoop my bag from the floor behind his desk. I spared him one panicked glance as he was straightening his clothes and crossing toward the door to his classroom. I pressed my hand against the wall and slid through the doorway into his room before he could open the door and let the headmaster in. I leaned against the wall inside his chambers, and I listened to the conversation that was taking place in the room I had just left.

"Severus why was your classroom door warded?" he asked him.

"I am embarrassed to admit that I was frustrated with my seventh year class and their unending questions for the NEWT examinations," Severus said in an even voice that didn't even hint at what we had just been doing. "I needed a few minutes to regain my composure before coming up to the great hall."

"My apologies for interrupting your private moment then," he said, and he did in fact sound sorry. "I need to speak with you about raising the security at the school. I'm having all the professor take shifts patrolling the grounds as well as the school."

"What is the threat?" Severus asked, his voice all business.

"As you know Barty Crouch attempted to steal the faux Dropa Stone from the entrance hall while under the imperious curse earlier this year." He answered. "Whomever was controlling him made a second attempt, and through a rather talkative and now banished poltergeist a man knows that the stone in the entrance hall is a fake. As far as I can discern this man does not know where the other stone is located."

"Who is the man?" Severus asked, sounding genuinely interested, but also trepidations.

"According to Peeves it was Barty Crouch Jr. but I have reason to believe that he was lying in order to convince me he should be allowed to stay in the castle," he answered in frustration. "And as Barty Crouch Jr. is deceased the man who was present must have another identity."

"Well, I will certainly take rounds, if you'd like I can take the late night rounds," Severus offered.

"Thank you Severus," the headmaster said. "Start tonight. I will get back to you if we need to erect further wards on the castle than what I already have."

"Of course sir," Severus said, and I could see him bowing his head in my mind's eye.

I was surprised that Dumbledore hadn't noticed how entirely complacent Severus was being. Couldn't he feel that Severus would say just about anything right now to get him out of the classroom? That question was overshadowed in my mind by the question as to the safety of the stone. Who was really after it? Why had Peeves been so stupid as to say anything about something so valuable to a stranger? What were we supposed to do?

Severus came through the door into his chambers pushing the thoughts out of mind as he immediately began to disrobe. We would have to talk about the threat to the stone, but for now I was content to skip dinner and have an anatomy lesson with my extremely dedicated professor.

* * *

 **Ch16: Song for this chapter: Iris by Goo Good Dolls and Moonlight Improvisation by Vladim Kiselv**

 **SPOV**

I was seeing much less of Hermione as of late. Between my new responsibility for patrolling the grounds, and her impending NEWT examinations we were both busy. Being forced to stay away from her yet again was frustrating, but it left me with certain opportunities to plan things that I had been thinking about for a while.

And yet it appeared that Hermione had a knack for sensing when I was particularly involved with my plotting, and would choose just that moment to arrive in my quarters. I was so surprised by one visit that the only place I could think of to hide the catalogue I was shopping when she startled me was the fireplace. She was given the impression I was stoking the fire, but I no longer hand an on campus resource for my shopping needs. That night she had swung by to first tell me that Bagman had told informed the champions that the final task would be a maze full of obstacles, and then to entice me into take a shower with her before I had to go on my nightly rounds

The next time she had arrived unexpectedly I was at my desk in my classroom grading the last papers I would ever receive from this particular seventh year class. She was on the edge of an all-out panic at the thought of sitting her NEWTS in the morning.

"What if I fail them all?" she asked as she paced back and forth in front of my desk. "What if My scores are so poor that Madam Pomfrey rescinds her offer to take me on as an apprentice?"

"That won't happen," I assured her, setting my quill down to watch her pacing.

"What is I set a record for the schools lowest possible scores?" she continued brushing her hands over the front of her argyle sweater. "What if the examiners tell me that my performance is a joke and demand I return to my previous placement at Hogwarts?"

"Hermione you are more than prepared for these examinations," I told her firmly, hoping she would stop her nervous pacing. "Nothing like that will happen."

"What if I oversleep and miss the entire thing?" she asked, stopping and turning to look at me with big scared eyes.

"So in this scenario you accidentally sleep for an entire week?" I asked her, barely holding back a chuckle.

"Well, what if something happens, and I do sleep for a week," she asked, but even she seemed to think that the question was a bit ridiculous. "Okay, I'm being irrational. I'm just so nervous."

"That much is clear," I agreed. "But Hermione I have quizzed you myself, I expect you will receive very high marks for all of your lessons."

"It's just that there is so much pressure put on these tests," she told me as she took a seat on the table facing my desk. "I've done important things before, but people weren't watching so closely, and there wasn't so much pressure. If I sneeze during one of the tests Rita Skeeter will probably write an article for the paper about my secret code for cheating or something like that."

"She's banned from the grounds as well as coming within 100 feet of you, the paper and Albus saw to that," I pointed out. "She won't be there, and she won't write anything else about you."

"No one can promise that," she said petulantly as she pressed her hand against either side of her head. "It's kind of hard to spot a beetle until its close enough that it's too late anyway."

"I promise to keep my eyes peeled for any and all bugs," I told her quietly, realizing just how worked up she was over this whole thing. "Why don't we go sit in the study for a little while?"

I stood, and shuffled the papers into a neat pile before hiding them away in my desk drawer and offering her my arm. She took it quickly and we left the classroom behind for the hopefully more soothing atmosphere of my sitting room. I lead her over to the settee and motioned for her to sit before walking over to the liquor cabinet and grabbing two tumblers and the bottle of red currant rum I purchased a few weeks ago when I discovered that it was Hermione's favorite.

"You just need a good night's sleep," I told her as I poured two glasses. "And perhaps a relaxing back massage."

"Mmmm, I still haven't given you yours," she said as she took the drink I offered her. "Are you ever going to cash in that coupon?"

"Eventually," I assured her as I took a seat next to her and wrapped my free arm around her shoulder. "I'm saving it as a present for when we are allowed to be together without constraint."

"We're so very close," she sighed in contentment, taking a drink before snuggling closer to my side.

"I spoke to Albus about it the other night," I told her, feeling her stiffen beside me on reflex. "He said that the completion of NEWT exams marks the end of your tenure as a Hogwarts student. Officially. Any graduation ceremony is only pomp."

"So that means," she said as she turned to look me in the face, her eyes lighting up. "Five days. Not thirteen."

"Yes," I said closing the gap between us so I could steal a quick kiss from her. "Five short days."

"Friday is going to be a good day," she said with a bob of the head before taking another pull on her drink. "End of exams, end of the tournament, end of probation."

And a beginning of so much more I thought as I ran my fingers through her hair. I wouldn't ever say it out loud, but I was glad her hair had grown out. I liked it long, it suited her so much better.

"Friday will be a very good day," I agreed out loud.

We spent another hour together just talking and enjoying a drink together. But as it grew later in the evening she had to go back to her dormitory to get some sleep, and I had to go and check the castle as well as the grounds. We shared a more than brief kiss goodnight, and then we went our separate ways.

-`-'-

The five days where exams where taking place were particularly quiet at the castle. Each class was focused on passing their tests, but the fifth and seventh years were more so. I caught glimpses Hermione looking completely stressed out as she entered and left examinations, but she was too focused on what she was doing to pay me much attention.

Freed of many of my lesson times other than when I was proctoring final exams I spent more time patrolling the grounds. So far things appeared to be copasetic, but one night I could have sworn I saw Wormtail among the trees in the forest. I hadn't been able to track him down, which was saying something as I am fairly skilled at tracking people. So I wasn't sure if that meant I was losing my touch, or if perhaps he hadn't ever been there. Was I so concerned about the safety of the stone that I was imagining a threat? I made more rounds just to be sure, but I was starting to believe that I really had made it all up in my head.

The morning that meant the end of examinations and the final task of the competition finally came and I was practically bouncing with excitement. In just a few hours we would be free of all the restrictions. We would be free to start our lives together. This day couldn't end soon enough.

I shared a brief look with her over breakfast, and then I watched as she had a muffled dispute with Minerva at her table. I couldn't hear everything, but I heard enough to understand that the champions were being visited by family before the final task, and they were expected to go into a side room and meet with them. Hermione was blunt about not having family to meet with, and the frankly a bit hostile about not visiting the person claiming to be her family. I was confused until Hermione raised her voice enough for me to hear who she was refusing to see. Molly Weasley.

I supported that choice. I was willing to reconsider my position on Ronald, but his mother's attack on my love was beyond something I would consider forgiving. Molly kicked her when she was down, and struck at her weakest point, and just expected forgiveness. Like her behavior was rational, and should be dismissed as a simple misunderstanding. I stood from the table while I thought about that, and made my way over to the disgruntled pair.

"I'll let Molly know that Hermione will not be seeing her today," I said as I stopped beside the two Gryffindor women.

"I really think it should be Miss Granger," she said, stressing the formal tone. "to tell her that, especially after she travelled all this way to see her."

"Please," I shunned her. "She apparated here, and if you read the letter that woman wrote to Hermione you wouldn't be so concerned with preserving her feelings."

"You read the letter?" Hermione said, peeking around Minerva's shoulder.

"A friend of yours brought it to me after the Bubotuber Pus incident." I told her with a brief smile. "So like I state previously, I will deal with Molly. I believe you have your last exam to worry about."

I received a beaming smile, and then she made her way out of the hall before Minerva could start with the whole responsibility routine. I gave her a stiff nod and made my way over to the room where the champions were meeting with their families.

I spotted her as soon as I stepped into the room, her flaming red hair stood out where she was pacing in front of a darkly colored tapestry. I crossed briskly over to her, and I could tell by the resigned look on her face that she knew exactly what I was here to tell her. I crossed over stand right next to her, in order to save her the embarrassment of other's hearing her being turned away.

"As I am sure you have figured out, Hermione will not be coming to see you today," I said quietly.

"She needs family to support her, it's a very big day," the petulant woman argued quietly.

"And just as soon as her family finds a way to show up, I will make sure she comes to see them," I said stiffly. "As for hurtful women such as yourself there is no need or desire."

"Well I… you aren't really speaking to me like that," she said, her voice rising.

"Don't make a scene. Just go on your way," I said, barely concealing the disdain on my voice. "Or do you need to be escorted?"

"No I do not," she huffed at me, before turning on her heal and stomping her way out of the room.

It drew a stare from the French girl's mother but I just gave her a stiff nod and swept out of the room. Just a few more hours, and this ridiculous day would be over, and finally, finally I could kiss Hermione without it being some big secret. The night could not come soon enough, and yet I was incredibly nervous about it none-the-less.

So nervous that for the first time in a decade I found myself taking a midafternoon respite with my old friend fire whiskey. Years ago it had been self-medication, today it was liquid courage. I just had to get through one last task, and then I wouldn't need to worry anymore. I didn't want to be a complete idiot this evening, so I stopped after one glass and tried to relax by focusing on this month's periodical on potion brewing.

-`-'-

Eventually the evening did come, and with it much excitement. I pulled on my black outer robes, gathered my things, and made my way up to join everyone who was making their way out to the quidditch pitch where the final match would be taking place. I followed the crowd across the grounds with my hands shoved firmly in my pockets.

I found a seat in the stands slightly separated from the swelling crowd and waited for the champions to come out. The maze they had erected was really something else, the massive hedges sprawled out in an intricate pattern across most of the pitch and with the quidditch seating we could see all of the obstacles. They had thought this task through much better than the previous task. I was able to breathe a sigh of relief that I wouldn't have to be in the dark, worrying about how Hermione was doing. This time I can see.

The seat filled up and then finally the champions were paraded out behind all three of the headmasters. The champions were organized in a line with Hermione at the front and the French girl at the back. Bagman stood with the headmasters and I saw his raise his wand to his throat to magnify his voice.

"Alright ladies and gentleman, it is time for the final task of the Triwizard Tournament," his voice boom up toward the crowd. "The champions will be entering the maze in search of the cup, in an order determined by their current ranking in the competition. Miss Granger will have the biggest head start, her score of 95 points putting her firmly in the lead."

I joined in the thunderous clapping that came from the Hogwarts supports, and Bagman waited for it to die down so he could continue.

"Mr. Krum will enter a short time after," he continued. "His score of 75 points putting him in second place."

There was a smattering of applause from the Hogwarts crowd, and rowdy cheering from Durmstrang students. I managed to refrain from spewing a slew of profanity so I think that was the best that could have been expected of me.

"Miss Delacour will have the longest delay before entering the maze," Bagman went on. "Her score of 60 places her in last place, but this last task is winner take all. The first champion to reach the cup will be the grand champion of this year's tournament."

There was more cheering after that, and I thought perhaps it made it seem as if they were all cheering for the French girl. It seemed more likely that it was cheers about the idea of someone winning. Because lets be honest so far the girl hadn't had a very good showing.

"There will be tournament officials in robes with stars on the back patrolling the perimeter of the maze," Bagman explained, and I eyeballed the officials he was talking about, they looked to all be aurors. "Should any of the champions find themselves in trouble that they cannot get out of they need only send up a shower of red sparks, and the officials will come in to save them. This will of course disqualify them from continuing in the competition."

The champions nodded that they understood, and Bagman clapped his hands in excitement.

"Alright, there will be a whistle to announce when it's each person's turn to enter the maze," Bagman said finally as he and the head of each school made their way up into the stands.

As soon as they were seated a whistle blew from somewhere off in the distance and Hermione ran forward into the maze. She already had her wand balanced on the palm of her hand and she seemed to be following where it was pointing her.

"It looks like Miss Granger is starting off the night with a compass charm," Bagman announced. "That spell should point her toward the center of the maze pretty quickly."

I scoffed at his announcement this time. Why announce something like that while the other champions are just waiting for their chance to enter the maze? It seemed like an unfair advantage to me. Another whistle blew, and Krum barreled forward. Either he didn't think the charm was worth his time, or he didn't know how to cast it, so he simply head off on another direction. It was the opposite way of Hermione, so I had to assume it was the wrong direction.

"Krum has already run into his first obstacle, one of Hagrid's blasted something or other," Bagman boomed out over the crowd. "Bit of a nasty animal that is, but it looks like Krum's approach is simply to run in the other direction. Probably a good call my boy."

The third whistle blew and the last champion entered the maze. I focused on Hermione as she made her way through a path in the maze that was leading her toward a cloud of gold mist. I was just wondering if she saw it when she slowed to a walk and pondered it. I had a very sentimental moment when it hit me how beautiful she looked in her simple jeans and red shirt, looking at the cloud of gold with her head titled to the side.

"Miss Granger has hit her first obstacle, and seems to be contemplating how to deal with the gravity reversal field." He said.

I didn't mind him giving Hermione a hint as to what she was dealing with, but I was surprised that he would do that. Hermione didn't react to his words at all, and it occurred to me that the champions might not be able to hear anything from outside of the maze. Whether or not she could hear him Hermione did continue forward. She stepped right into the mist, and our view of her became obscured.

There were three seconds where she could not be seen, but then she walked out of the other side seemingly unaffected. I didn't recognize the spell she had just dealt with, but she didn't seem to have had much of a problem with it.

"She's made it through without issue," Bagman announced to the crowd. "And Miss Delacour has encountered a boggart down her path. It appears her greatest fear is a wild tiger. Oh well now, putting that tiger in a swimming pool wearing a pink swimming suit is rather funny isn't it? She's through and one step closer to the center of the maze."

I wanted to tell him he was an idiot. Delacour was on a path that would dead end after she went through two turns, but apparently he couldn't see that. I focused back in on Hermione and saw that she was using the point me charm again, adjusting her course onto a path that would lead her closer to the center.

"We've got some real excitement now," Bagman cheered excitedly. "We've got Krum trapped between two blast ended creatures, Delacour is running from an acromantula with a penchant for hopping hedge walls, and Granger has found the hippogriff foal."

I knew from the past year that Hermione knew how to deal with a hippogriff, but it still made me nervous to watch her approach the rogue animal. She bowed tentatively, and then waited, with one knee on the ground to see if the creature would bow back. Ever so slowly it did, and she patted it gently before she hurried past it to continue on her way.

"Granger's bypassed her obstacle," Bagman announced rapidly. "Delacour has blasted a hole through the hedge and pulled a runner to avoid her obstacle, and would you look at that Krum has mounted the hedge in an attempt to escape his. And there we have it. Red sparks."

I was surprised to see Krum calling the game so soon, but as an official flew in to scoop him out of the maze and he struggled to climb onto the broom due to what appeared to be a massively burned leg I could understand a little better. It was likely very difficult to climb up the hedge with the plant rubbing against his scorched flesh, but the alternative of being devoured by Hagrid's monstrous invention wasn't a great one.

"With Krum sidelined by a burned leg it looks like it comes down to a battle between the girls," Bagman announced as Krum was delivered on the sidelines and Madam Pomfrey hurried out to tend his wounds. "Delacour has found her way onto a path that is leading her toward one of those creatures that did in Krum, and Hermione is about to befriend the boggart whose linger near the center of the maze."

He was right on both counts. Hermione wasn't far off from the center, but the path sending her to the boggart was a dead end anyway. I wondered what she would see if she encountered the boggart, but I also hoped she'd figure out she was heading into a dead end before she found it. Luck seemed to be on her side, she did a point me spell before turning the corner that would lead her toward her fear, and discovered that she wasn't quite headed in the right direction. I joined in the cheers when she turned around and got herself back on track.

"Granger may not have realized it yet, but she's within 300 yards of the Triwizard cup," Bagman announced. "Delacour is just as close, but she's now struggling with the same pair of monsters that took Krum out of the running."

Hermione rounded another corner and found herself face to face with a sphinx. There was a lot of gasping and cheering, that I imagined had to do with whatever battle the French girl was waging against her obstacle. I however was focused on Hermione standing wither hands on her hips seeming to have a normal everyday conversation. She wasn't of course; a sphinx always required that a person answer a riddle in order to pass them.

Hermione excelled at riddles, but I watched her carefully just in case something went wrong. I doubted she would be very excited to have claw marks all over he body, so a sphinx attack just wouldn't do. It seemed however that my worries were unfounded because within probably three minutes of conversation, the sphinx stepped to the side and Hermione walked right one past. Bagman was announcing something, but I tuned him out as I focused on Hermione. She turned to corner of the path the sphinx had been on, and then there she was standing 100 yards from the cup with a straight shot towards it.

The crowd began to roar as she ran forward, jumping over roots that popped up trying to slow her down. It was easy work for someone as fit as Hermione and I found myself cheering with the rest of the crowd. Right up until the moment that her hand closed on the cup. Her hand closed down, and my cheer died on my lips. Bagman was announcing her as the winner, not seemed to have notice that man who had suddenly appeared in the maze alongside her. He had thrown off an invisibility cloak and dove toward Hermione while her back was turned.

The cheers turned to cries of shock as the flash of blue light that accompanies a portkey went off, and then the man and Hermione disappeared from within the maze. I stood from my seat, my feet carrying down toward the maze on their own accord. I drew my wand, pushing people out of my way as I sprinted toward the maze.

Albus was right at my side, and I saw that an official flew in to extract Delacour from the maze quickly before we began blowing the hedges out of existence, searching for any trace of Hermione or any the man who had been lurking in the maze. We blew the maze away, but there was nothing to be found. She wasn't there. I stood where the center of the maze had been, tuning on the spot looking for her. There was no sign of her, and I had no idea who had abducted her. No clue as to where to begin looking for her.

I reached into my pocket, pulling out the black velvet ring box out of my pocket and turned it over in my hand. There had been many ways I had pictures tonight going, but me standing her alone with no idea where Hermione was, or if she was still alive, was not an option I had considered. What was I supposed to do now?

I put the ring back in my pocket fighting off the tightness in my throat that betrayed how close I was to losing control of my emotions. I couldn't be a mess right now. Hermione needed me to be the ruthless and unstoppable tracker I used to be right now, so I had to lock away any emotion that might hold me back. I clamped down the strings of my heart, letting go of every emotion inside of me. I focused my mind entirely on finding where she had been taken, and then opened the palm of my wand hand, and I waited. The wand swung around to point me in the direction of either the castle, or the lake, or the forest beyond that. I started moving forward, deciding that searching the forest first was my best bet. Suddenly the idea that I had seen Wormtail in the forests wasn't ridiculous at all.

* * *

 **Ch 17: Songs for this chapter: Drones by Jed Whedon and Snake(swallowing a flower) by Hungry Ghosts**

 **SPOV**

There were people who tried to speak with me, or stand in my way as I cut a path away from the quidditch pitch, but they were of no consequence to me. I shoved them out of my way, or moved them magically. All of it seemed like it was happening in slow motion. Their mouths were moving like they were trying to speak with me, but I heard nothing from them. Instead there was a ringing in my ears broken only by the ghost of things Hermione had said to me over the course of our relationship.

I tried to blot those words out; they tugged at the string I had used to tie down my heart. My heart needed to stay firmly out of the equation for me to return to the person I had been when I was Death Eater. I gripped my forearm out of habit, and slipped into a run along the edge of the lake. The forest tree line wasn't far away, but it felt like there was a giant chasm between the darkness of the forest and myself.

I ran into the black forest my wand held aloft to light my path as I searched for any sign of her. The bushes along the path were disturbed, which could mean she had been drug through here, or it could me that a centaur had some sort of tantrum. I had to hope that it was a clue to help me, but feeling hope was also the last thing I should be doing right now. My eyes were temporarily blinded by a blue flash. It seemed to come from outside of the forest, but it was so bright I couldn't be certain.

I pushed on, following the curving path that wound further into the forest one kick around bush after another. I ran along the way, without any sign of another person, but I was determined to find whoever was at the end of this trail. But eventually the path of disturbance ended, and still there was no sign of Hermione or anyone else for that matter. I set my wand on the palm of my hand again and watched as it swung back around pointing in the direction I had just come from. How had a passed her and not seen her?

I barreled back the other way not bothering to stay on the path I had followed this time, clearly they weren't on it anymore. I hurried through the trees, making my way back in the direction of the castle, my eyes scouring the forest around me. To my left I caught a flash of movement, and I dove through the trees after it. Whoever it was had heard me and was scrambling to escape me, and in their haste they were making a lot of noise.

It would have to be a captor; the person who was running was making too much noise. They were bigger than Hermione, that much was certain. Thought it was possible that the sound was created by someone dragging her with them. I pushed myself to run faster. I crashed through the trees, and as I threw myself around a particularly large trunk I saw him. It was a squat man running as fast as his fat little body would let him.

"Impedimenta," I cried, brandishing my wand at him.

He froze mid gait and tumbled to the ground. I closed the gap between us, stooping down to pull him up by what was left of his hair. I jabbed my wand into his face and revealed that the man in my clutches was none other than Peter Pettigrew.

"If you want to live you will tell me where she is," I spat, holding him within inches of my face so I could better see his eyes in the darkness.

"B-Barty has her," he whimpered, his pupils dilating with fear. "Please don't kill me."

"Barty Crouch?" I questioned, tearing at his hair. "He's locked away in St Mungos, completely insane, most likely from a botched imperious curse by you."

"Junior," he cried, actual tears falling from his eyes. "Barty Junior has her."

"Where has he taken her?" I demanded, dragging him up of the forest floor and throwing him against the nearest tree.

"He tortured the location of the stone out of her," Wormtail sobbed, flinching away from me. "That's where they went."

I was so shocked I almost dropped him. She had been tortured. She who was strong enough to withstand the torture created by my own spell had been tortured into speaking. It must truly be Barty Crouch Junior who had her; he had a knack for bringing even the strongest mind to its knees. That brought on a new wave of panic. His victims were often entirely insane when he was done with them. I swept my wand through the air, stunning Wormtail, and then I drug him bodily through the forest.

Assuming he had broken her enough to give the actual location of the stone, I knew exactly where they would be. The trip through the forest seemed much longer the second time, but I wasn't sure if it was due to the extra weight in my arms, or the extra weight on my heart at the thought of what might be waiting for me.

"Severus?" Albus's voice called out to me as I entered the grounds once more. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I believe you will find this man useful in exonerating Sirius Black," I said, my voice dead as I tossed the limp body of Wormtail at his feet. "The poltergeist wasn't lying about Barty Crouch Junior being involved."

I didn't wait for a response. I sprinted away from where he stood on the grounds. I had to force my way through a crowd once more to get to the castle. Cries accompanies my pushes this time, but I didn't stop to see if I hurt the people I threw from my path. It was inconsequential so long as Hermione was in the hands of one of the Dark Lord's most accomplished torturers.

I barely saw the castle as I tore through it, but when I entered the stairwell leading up to the headmasters office I saw red. I could hear her screaming, and beyond that I heard the shouting of another man.

"What have you done?" he shouted at her mercilessly. "You said melting the stone would release him? But he isn't here, all I have is molten stone in worthless cauldron!"

"Melting… the stone," she ground out in between gut wrenching screams. "Destroys… everything."

I dashed into the room just as she finished telling him she had tricked him into killing to soul of the Dark Lord. His scream of rage drowned out what she said next, but there was a flash of blue light, and I realized she had cast a portus charm on the Triwizard cup in an attempt to escape.

I dove forward, trying to catch a limb or anything so I would be pulled along with her. Crouch had the same idea, only he was close enough to be more successful than me. He managed to grab her legs and be pulled along the space beside her. I however landed with a huff on the floor where they had just been.

I punched the floor of the office in rage, and pulled myself back up off the floor. Where would she go? What location would she pick when she was half crazy with pain and in a blind panic, where would she run? My brain screamed that she would run to me, but I was right here and she wasn't.

My chambers. She'd go to my chambers.

I ran back out of the office, crashing into Albus on his way up to his office. He called after me, trying to stop me, but I didn't listen. He was not my master anymore, and I certainly wasn't going to take orders from him right now. I flew through the halls, lower into the castle until I reached the dungeons. I raced into my chambers, but they were heartbreakingly silent. There was no one here. I ran room to room, hoping that I was mistaken but she truly wasn't there.

"Think Think!" I yelled at myself as I paced back and forth in my sitting room.

Where else could she have gone? Wouldn't she go to where I would be, where she would be safe?

And then it hit me. Her mind was addled by the torture, what is she had gotten mixed up about where I lived. She could have tapped into an old memory or where my home was. She could have simply imagined the wrong home, and taken herself there in her effort to flee. I needed to go to Spinner's End.

I flew into action once more, sprinting back out of the castle, and down toward the iron gates. We really needed to find a way to allow apparition out of the school grounds, the limitations the current parameters created were potentially lethal. I threw myself through the gate, turning in the air to disappear from the school, and reappear with a crack outside of my old house.

I moved toward the door, and I was both tortured and relieved to hear screaming issuing from inside the house. She was here. I burst into the house and saw that they hadn't made it farther than the foyer. As I took in the sight before me I felt the last of the humanity bleed out of me. Hermione was screaming, pinned up against the wall trying to break free, and Crouch was rutting against her hip as he tore at her clothes.

-`-'-

-`-'-

 **HPOV**

Fire, there must be a fire. Hands in the fire? I couldn't see, it was dark, there was no light from the fire. I could hear people screaming though the fire. I was screaming through the fire. It was dark because my eye were closer, wasn't it? I fought to pull back my lids, so I would know where the fire was.

I didn't see fire, I saw the hands. Hands tearing my close, hand closing around my throat. And still the fire, where was it coming from? I couldn't see it, but I could feel it. It was burning my flesh off of my bones. I screamed, desperate for relief from it all. Why was this all happening?

Burn the stone.

Why burn the stone?

I heard a new scream. It was an animal. A wounded animal I think. It roared with pain. It was primal. Visceral. The animal's pain was my pain. I could feel the pain of this animal. My eyes scanned around trying to find the animal through the blurred vision and the horrible fire. I saw a man, screaming, he looked like an animal. His hair falling forward over his face, screaming in rage, crouched over a man. Hand on his throat. Hands gone from my throat. I put my hands on my throat, trying to soothe the fire. Watching.

Watching the animal, kill the man. His hands choked the life out of him, and it grew quiet other than the screams. The screams that came from my mouth hurt my ears. They hurt my throat.

"Hermione," the animal said, his hands on either side of my face.

"Don't kill me," I begged him, terrified that he would hurt me the way the other man had hurt me. "Please. Please."

"No Hermione," the man said, pressing me into his chest.

Black fabric. Soft. Musky. Familiar.

"I will never hurt you," he swore, he sounded true.

"Please, please," I begged, no longer sure what I was asking for.

I burrowed into his robes, trying to wrap myself up in the safe black fabric. He held me tightly, not stopping me from trying to climb inside of him. I dug my hands into his pockets, using them as hand holds to pull him tighter. Something pressed into my hand. I snatched it from the pocket. Box. Box? I dropped it in his lap, not sure what it was, and tried to pull myself closer.

"Closer," I cried burying my face in his chest breathing in the scent, the familiar safe scent. "Musky. Severus."

A face flashed in my mind, smiling as it leaned down to kiss me. Severus. Safe.

"Please Severus," I begged the man whose lap I had invaded. "I want him."

"I am Severus," he crooned into my ear, rocking me gently. "It's me. I'm here Hermione."

"Severus," I cried, panicking. "I need him. Stop the fire."

He made a pained sound that rattled in his chest. Vibrating against my ear. Pained sound. The image of the animal crouched over the body flashed in my mind again. His hair fell forward. It was familiar. His hair feel forward when he kissed me.

"Severus," I cried to the man, understanding that he was who I needed. "Help me. Confusing."

"I know love, I know," he said soothingly as he pulled us both up off the floor, stooping to grab something before he turned us.

Pressure. Fire and pressure. It hurt.

We were moving quickly, people were shouting. Where did people come from? I saw them, around a castle, but we didn't talk to them. We passed them, running into the building. Things were flashing by, and I recognized them. This was home wasn't it?

He took me to room with beds. Lots of beds. He put me on a bed, calling for someone. A woman, she came quickly. She was scared, I think. She was moving so fast, her face like an animal too. Why all the animals? I rolled on the bed, pulling the blankets with me, just wanting the fire to stop.

I saw a bug on the counter. I didn't understand it, but I hated that little bug. I wanted to do something to it.

"Damn bug," I screeched at it, reaching for the empty water glass on the bedside table, and slamming it down over the bug, trapping it on the counter. "Got you."

-`-'-

 **SPOV**

Her mind was rattled, but still partially intact. She had found a way to identify me. It appeared to have been my cologne that had tipped her off. And somehow, a piece of her mind was still alert to her theory that Rita Skeeter was taking on the form of a bug to follow her. She moved swiftly to trap the bug before she collapsed on the bed, falling back into a fit of tears and thrashing once more.

"Poppy she needs medical attention," I snapped, hurrying forward to the bed to restrain her from hurting herself once more. "Don't just stand there."

Poppy jumped to work procuring the needed potions to fight the effects of the cruciatus curse. I struggled to hold her still enough for us to be able to pour the potions down her throat. The pain was causing her to thrash so badly she may as well have been having a seizure. I pressed her against my chest, leaning her head back against my shoulder and holding her as still as I could. I held her mouth open with the other hand and allowed Poppy to pour the first potion into her mouth. I massaged Hermione's throat so she would swallow it.

The thrashing slowed to tremors, but it wasn't enough she needed more potion. I had to continue to restrain her as Poppy poured a second potion down her throat. She swallowed it on her own this time, and fell still against me. She was panting, her hands gripping the fabric of my pants rhythmically. The uncontrollable movement had stopped, but I could tell that she was still in horrible pain.

"Just keep breathing," I told her quietly, brushing my hand over her hair trying to sooth her. "The pain will stop soon."

Poppy plied her with three more potions, and Hermione slumped against me. Sleeping was just what she needed right now. We'd have to see where she was mentally when she woke up. I slid her delicately onto the bed, pulling the blanket over her so she would not be exposed in what little remained of her clothing.

"Please go retrieve clothes for her," I told Poppy without looking away from Hermione. "I will take care of dressing her as soon as I find a jar to put this bug in."

"Why not release the bug outside?" she asked me, watching Hermione with sad eyes. "She wasn't in her right mind when she trapped it."

"She isn't completely gone up there," I snapped. "And she doesn't think it's a bug, so I will save it, and let her decide if it should be released later."

Poppy looked at me like she thought I was out of my mind as well, but she went to retrieve pajamas for Hermione. I conjured a jar, using my wand to burn a few holes in the lid, before scooping the beetle into it. I screwed the lid on so the bug could not escape, and I set it on the bedside table to be dealt with by Hermione later.

I conjured a bowl of warm water, and a wash cloth. Hermione was covered in bracken from the forest floor as well as her own blood from scratches and scrapes. I sat down on the edge of the bed, and removed the blanket so I could begin to bath her before changing her into the pajamas. I started with her feet, somehow her shoes had survived the whole ordeal, so I removed them gently, and began to wash her feet and legs.

"Severus I can take care of that," Poppy said as she busted over with the pajamas. "You should go report to Albus."

"I will do it," I said firmly. "Albus can wait."

"Severus she is a girl," Poppy said delicately.

"She is my girl," I said petulantly. "I do not want anyone else touching her. Ever again."

Something about my tone frightened her. She set the pajamas on the bed beside me and hurried away. I focused on cleaning the cuts on her legs, fighting back the rage that Crouch hadn't bothered to protect her flesh while severing her jeans. I wanted to kill him all over again, but I focused on being gentle as I comforted my sleeping lover. He hadn't managed to get her shirt completely off, for which I was grateful, but I removed the shredded fabric and began to clean her torso as well.

I paid particular attention to her arms which were scratched up quite a bit from the trip through the forest. I would heal all of her wounds before dressing her, but it wouldn't do any good to cause an infection by not cleaning them properly. She would need a shower o properly clean her hair, but I did my best to get all of the dirt off of her face, and the twigs out of her hair. When I was done I began to move my wand over her, mumbling the spells that caused her skin to knit back together. Slowly all of her wounds disappeared, leaving the scar on her ribs as the only blemish to her skin.

I was sliding the hospital gown into place on her body when Albus came sweeping into the room behind Poppy. I lay Hermione back against the pillows, and bundled up the blankets around her so that she would be comfortable. Then I turned to face whatever was coming for me.

"I need some explanation of tonight," Albus said calmly as he came to a stop in front of me.

I jumped into an explanation of the trap that was set in the maze, as well as who all was involved with it. I explained the torture, and how Hermione had tricked Crouch into destroying the Dropa Stone. I told him where I had found them at last, and what that sick animal had been attempting to do when I found them. And with no emotion in my voice I told him exactly how I had killed him with my bare hands before attending to Hermione who was not well mentally.

"I believe the defense of others will keep you out of Azkaban," Albus responded stiffly. "If you can manage to sound a tiny bit remorseful next time you tell that story."

I nodded stiffly before turning back to look at Hermione once more.

"I had a different plan about how tonight was going to go," I said, needing to confide the pain I was feeling in someone. "I was going to propose when she came out of the maze. And instead I had to hunt her down at Spinner's End, where she found the ring in my pocket and didn't even know what it was. She dropped it in my lap and begged me to take her to Severus."

"It will be okay," Albus said as he joined me at her bedside.

"We don't know that," I sighed. "She could wake up tomorrow even more crazy than when she went to sleep. She might not know who she is, or who I am. She might not know that there is an us."

"Have hope," he told me quietly, placing his hand on my shoulder in a comforting gesture. "Hope that she comes back to you."

* * *

 **Ch 18: Songs for this chapter: No I Don't Remember by Anna Ternheim and All Your Life by The Band Perry**

 **HPOV**

Fire and hands lead to screams. Screaming, more screaming. Tearing, crying, screaming. Shaking.

"Shhh," a deep baritone soothed over the gentle shaking. "It's a dream. Just a dream."

My eyes snapped open, and I saw the dimly lit hospital wing around me. Severus hovered over me, his face directly above mine, his brow knit together in concern. I saw his face, but I also saw flashes of the night cycling rapidly, trying to find some semblance of order as they ran through my mind. Everything was out of order, and impossible to arrange into a line that made sense, but I understood enough to know it hadn't been the easiest evening.

"It's not just a dream," I breathed in a shaky sigh as tears began to spill out of my eyes. "It hurts Severus."

"You're still feeling the effects of the curse?" he asked me, seeming confused.

Memories of him holding me down and forcing me to take potion after potion danced to the forefront of my mind. I realized that in those memories I was practically naked, and my heart began to pump faster. I nearly toppled him onto the floor as I threw the blankets off of me, and patted down my body assuring myself that I was fully covered once more. I leaned back against the pillows with a sigh and tried to bring my breathing back under control.

"This feels different than that," I told him, unsure of if I was even making sense. "Maybe I just need an aspirin or something. I ached, but it's different from the fire."

"Describe the feeling for me please," he asked quietly, his voice evening out into soothing tones once more.

"It's similar to the feeling when you run for a long time and do not stretch," I told him scrubbing at my eyes as a memory of trying to run through the forbidden forest to free my captor flashed through my mind. "But is not just in my legs, its everywhere."

"Your muscles may still be having intermittent spasms," he told me quietly, bring his hands to hover over me, but seeming hesitant to touch me. "If I massage your muscles it should stop it, but it may be unpleasant. Are you comfortable being touched?"

Why would he ask that I wondered? The answer burned into my mind on the tail of flashing memories of my back pressed against the wall in Spinner's End. Memories of those hands everywhere. With him pressing into me. My breath caught in my throat as I felt the fear I had felt in that moment, and I saw his face constrict and I realized he thought I was afraid of him.

"You aren't him," I said choppily as I pulled one of his hands down to touch my face. "You wouldn't hurt me."

"Never," he swore, shifting forward so he could start at my neck and begin to work his way down.

His hair swung forward and instead of his relatively calm face, I saw the animalistic face of rage as he crouched over my attacker, draining the life from him with his bare hands. My heart clenched at the picture, so full of pain. It mingled with a memory of his hair falling forward when he leaned in to kiss me and things became confused in my mind once more. I started to wonder if I would ever be able to properly sort out the events of this evening.

As he worked his way down my arms, causing minute pain as he relieved the deeper pain I tried to organize the events into their proper order. I could remember clearly that I had sat for my final NEWT exam, and I had gone to participate in the final task. The task itself seemed to be a bit out of order. I remembered being in the maze within the gold mist, before I remembered entering the maze. I could remember running toward the cup, but I couldn't remember if the man had already been there, or if he had appeared after I had taken the cup into my hands.

There hadn't been a chance to feel joy at winning the tournament because I had been in Spinner's End fighting for my life. No that wasn't right was it? Because at some point I had been in the forbidden forest. And the headmaster's office. I had screamed and cried, but I had won hadn't I? The man had melted the stone upon my instruction, hadn't he?

"He's gone isn't he?" I asked, drawing Severus's attention away from the hand he was focusing on. "I'm remembering correctly? That the stone is melted?"

"Yes, Crouch tried to torture you into telling him how to release the Dark Lord's soul," Severus explained as he moved to the other hand. "You told him melting the stone would do it. He was very upset when he realized you had actually told him how to banish the soul forever. You did a very good job."

"I can't remember if I thought that was the real answer," I told him, shrugging off the praise. "It's possible I thought breaking the stone was how you killed the soul. I couldn't have through I was giving him the right answer."

"You didn't," he assured me. "I heard you tell him what melting the stone had really done."

"You were there?" I asked, replaying what I could remember of the moments I thrashed about on the floor of the headmaster's office, trying to see where he was.

"I was running up the stairs," he told me as he began to massage the muscles of my torso, the minute pain keeping it from feeling intimate or romantic. "I didn't make it to you before you used the cup as a portkey to try and escape Crouch."

"That's how I ended up at Spinner's End," I nodded, confirming to myself that it had in fact come last in the sequence of events. "I'm not sure that's where I was trying to go."

"I don't think you could focus well at that point," he told me soothingly, watching his hands as he worked. "It's okay though. I found you, and everything will be okay. You are already so much clearer, you're making sense, and you seem to know where you are an who you are with."

I could see that he was trying to comfort me, but in a way he was also comforting himself. He was assuring himself that I was here with him. My heart ached for how he must have felt while I was screaming and unable to understand where I was.

"You were scared," I said plainly, reaching up to place my hands on either side of his face. "You don't have to be scared now."

Pain rippled across his face before he was able to school his features. He stared into my eyes, drinking me in as if he were afraid he might still lose me. I ran my fingers over his face, drinking him in with the same fear. I needed him so badly that it scared me sometimes. The love I felt for him had altered the type of person I had been. Our past filtered through my mind as I looked into his eyes, and I couldn't really remember what had been the event to really bring us together. In the end it didn't matter how it had come to be, we were together now. And with that realization the memory of holding a little black velvet box in my hand flickered to the front of my mind causing innumerable emotions to swell within my heart.

"Oh Severus," I gushed at him, lowering my hands from his face to reach into his robes, and search his pockets.

I found the ring box, safely tucked away in his pocket, and I pulled it out, holding it between us as I looked up at his face once more.

"How were you going to do it?" I asked him, watching how he stayed frozen above me, even his hands stilling, clasped around my hips.

"After the challenge, I had a moonlight walk planned," he said quietly, his voice wistful. "If we were to go out on the grounds right now, most of the trail of rose petals would probably still be intact."

He stopped, and watched him swallow, either with sadness or nerves I couldn't tell.

"They led down to the gates," he told me when he was able to continue. "The fairies have probably flown away by now, but it was lit quite romantically. I would have gotten down on one knee at the place where our connection was cemented, and asked you to begin the rest of our life together."

He took my hand in his, brushing his fingers over mu knuckles.

"I would have taken your hand in mine," he told me as he leaned in to place a kiss upon my hand. "And I would have asked you this. Hermione Granger would you do me the great honor of becoming my wife."

"Yes," I whispered, tears filling my eyes once more.

He closed the distance between us and pressed his lips against mine. It was a moment of pure bliss with him pressing into me from above, his lips dancing with mine, my hand clasped around his ring between us. He pulled back panting, happiness dancing in his eyes.

"You haven't even seen the ring yet," he told me with mirth. "You could change your mind."

I popped the box open between us, enthralled by the beautiful ring he had picked out. It had a beautiful diamond in the center, but there were little black diamond climbing up the sides of the band toward it, giving it distinction and making it unique. It was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen.

"You're right, that's a deal breaker," I laughed at him, extending the ring box out toward him. "As in if you don't put it on my finger right now I might have to break something."

"Are you really prepared to wear a visible symbol that you are tying yourself eternally to the dreaded potions master?" he asked light heartedly as he pulled the ring out of the box.

"Absolutely," I beamed at him, holding my hand out so he could put the ring on for me. "I cannot wait to become Mrs. Hermione Snape."

"You realize this will probably lead to more press don't you," he chuckled as he slid the ring into place on my finger.

At his words, flashes of a bug bombarded my mind. I saw myself slamming a cup down to trap the bug. As I groaned I snapped my head over to the side to check if the cup was still there. Instead I saw a jar, with the bug trapped inside. I wracked my brain but I couldn't remember doing that.

"Did you do that?" I asked Severus looking back at him where he was still kneeling over my legs.

"Yes," he said quietly. "I thought it was more secure than a cup."

"What's the spell to force an animagus to revert to their human form?" I asked, shifting so I was propped up on my elbows and looking for my wand.

"It's Homorphus," he told me as he produced my wand from inside his robes.

"Thank you," I smiled at him as I took my wand, and sat the rest of the way up.

I picked up the jar with the beetle began to scurry around, seeming to sense that it was in trouble.

"Impedimenta," I said with a wave of my wand, freezing the beetle in place before I delicately poured it out onto the bedside table.

"Homorphus," I said with another flick of my wand.

There was a flash of blue and white light, and then the beetle began to grow.

"I was right!" I cheered as the bug turned into the frozen form of Rita Skeeter. "I freaking knew it!"

The witch crouched awkwardly on the table beside the bed, unable to move off of it. I watched her eyes shifting nervously around the room, and I was torn between feeling a little bad for her, and wanting to smack her. I settled for giving her a nasty look before turning to look back at Severus.

"What do you think the chances are that anyone from the ministry is still here?" I asked him.

"They've gone for the evening, but several will be back tomorrow for the delayed closing ceremony," he answered with a tiny smile. "You'll have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to serve your just desserts."

"I guess I can wait," I huffed in frustration. "But I don't trust her not to scurry off again. The jinx won't hold all night."

"I suppose you could put her in a body bind," he said quietly. "But it might be more kind to at least put her in a comfortable position first."

There was a little piece of me that wanted to be hurtful, and leave her frozen in that uncomfortable position, but Severus was right. She should be treated humanely even if she didn't treat me or any of the other people she had publicly destroyed by with even a sliver of it. I started to get out of bed, so I could haul her into a nearby bed and make her more comfortable.

"Let me do it," Severus said grabbing my hips to still me. "Your legs are likely to buckle if you stand up. I can feel the tremors."

When I focused on it, I could feel it too, beyond the ache and tired feeling; I could feel the minute trembles that hadn't stopped yet. I nodded my head in agreement, and Severus slid off of the bed, and moved the started witch with surprising gentility. He stretched out her stiff limbs and arranged her in a position that left her laying on her back with her arms folded across her chest. He pulled a blanket over her, and then he silently cast the full body bind curse.

He kneeled beside the bed and swiftly but effectively massaged the tremors out of my legs. When he was sure that my muscles had stopped their objections to what had happened earlier this evening he slid into the cramped bed with me, and pulled me into his chest.

"You will need another dose of potion in the morning," he mumbled into hair we melted into one another. "But then you'll be good as new."

"Better actually," I hummed, pulling his arms tighter around my torso. "I love you."

"I love you too," he told me, and I could hear the smile in his voice.

We fell asleep together, and for the first time in what felt like ages we didn't have to worry about being seen, or getting back to where we were expected to be. We could just be, finally.

* * *

 **Ch: 19 Songs for this chapter: What I've Done by Linkin Park and 'Til Kingdom Come by Coldplay**

 **SPOV**

Hermione had said yes. Unbelievably she had agreed to be my wife. I was going to be involved with planning a wedding even though I never thought I was going be a part of something so loving. I want to focus on just that, but there was something that I had to take care of before I could settle completely into my happiness. I owed it to Sirius Black to insure that his name was cleared and he never had to worry about being sent back to Azkaban. So Hermione and I went together into London each day. She spent her days in one court yard assuring that Rita Skeeter would never be a reporter again and she fought for jail to for invasion of privacy and defamation of character.

And I spent my days in a separate court room explaining exactly how I came to know that Sirius was completely innocent. I had to go through how I had captured Peter, and what exactly he had done to put Sirius in the position he was in now. Somehow in that trail my involvement in the death of Barty Crouch Jr. was also discussed, but it appeared that I would not be standing trail for what I had done. It was a relief that I wasn't going to jail, but the ordeal with Crouch hardly seemed over.

The one shadow over the bliss I had with Hermione was that her assurance that I could never hurt her was not holding entirely true. She had been sure that as I had not been the one to attack her, she would not have any issue with my touch, but she had been wrong. We hadn't been cautious at all because of how sure she was, and I had been startled and distraught the night she had been released from the hospital wing. I was kneeling over her with my lips at her throat and my hands on her hips and suddenly she had burst into tears. I tried to rub her arms soothingly, but that only seemed to increase her hysteria.

In the end I had to sit helpless on my hands on the other side of the room to keep myself from touching her while she cried herself out, apologizing the whole time. It was gut wrenching, but I understood that she had been traumatized by what had happened, and she would need time and help to move on from it. I could be patient. Between the onslaught from Viktor Krum, and the all-out attack by Crouch it was surprising how put together she was.

-`-'-

"Can you lay in the bed with me," she whispered into the darkness after the tears had stopped from my unfortunate choice to surprise her with a hug from behind. "Just lie next to me and hold my hand?"

I complied immediately, keeping all of my body except for my hand from touching her.

"I'm sorry that I startled you," I told her quietly as we lay together in the darkness. "Everything will be fine. I promise."

"It's just so frustrating," she whispered rolling so she could face me without releasing my hand. "I know it's you, and I know that you'd never hurt me. I love you, and I am marrying you, and yet somehow I just keep freaking out."

"It's reasonable I assure you," I soothed her; lowering my voice to the octave I knew she found reassuring. "There's no rush. I am perfectly content to spend time with you in place other than the bedroom. I love you."

"I love you to," she sighed, scooting just a bit closer on the bed.

"Would you like me to tell you a story to help you fall asleep?" I asked her when her breathing began to settle into something more calm.

"I'd like that," she said, and I could hear a smile in her voice.

I made it a quarter of a way into the love story of Tristan and Isolde before her body sagged further into my bed, and her breathing bottomed out into the sounds of sleep. I reached above our heads to pull one of the pillows between us. I was used to pulling her into my arms when I slept, and the pillow gave me something to wrap my arms around without startling her. I covered her with the blanket, and drifted off to sleep beside her.

-`-'-

"Do you want a long engagement?" she asked me over breakfast one morning in late June.

"No," I admitted, looking up from the particularly entertaining article I had been reading about the sacking and ban from publishing that had been doled out to Rita Skeeter. "What about you?"

"I'd like to be married yesterday," she admitted with a chuckled. "So maybe we should set a date?"

"July 22nd," I said quietly, waiting to see how she would react.

"Why then?" she asked, and I was relieved to hear that she sounded intrigued, not upset.

"Over the course of our relationship we have made a point of going back and erasing the dark parts of the past," I answered honestly. "I would like to do that again. With that day. I would like to look back at the 22nd with love instead of fear and anger."

There was a beat of silence where she stared at me. I could see so many things flashing through her eyes, and it left me uncertain as to what she was feeling. I watched her with baited breath as her emotions flitted by, and then she moved. It was quick, and so unlike her, but she pushed the table right over, dumping out breakfast on the floor as she threw herself into my lap. Her lips were on mine before I had finished sucking in a surprised breath, and I struggled to contain myself, and refrain from pulling her tightly against me.

"I love you," she panted when she stopped kissing me. "And I want to change something as well."

"What's that?" I asked her, attempting to pretend we were still having a normal breakfast conversation.

"I want to reclaim both Spinner's End and you," she said firmly, nodding her head to punctuate it. "We shouldn't be spending the summer in your chambers at the castle, we should be in your home. Our home."

"Hermione we don't have to…" I started.

"I want to," she interjected. "There will be time to pack things and bring them with us later, right now, I think we have an appointment with your foyer."

I froze beneath her, actually terrified by the idea of taking her there. To that spot in particular. No one had been there to clean up other than removing Crouch's body. It would essentially look like it had the night she had been attacked. This was a horrible train wreck waiting to happen.

"Do you trust me Severus?" she asked, turning my face so I was looking her in the eye.

"With my life," I assured her.

"Then trust me now," she said with a smile. "We don't need a time turner to change the past."

She climbed off of my lap and offered me her hand. And I took it, because I would follow her anywhere, as she would me. She turned on the spot, and we disappeared from the castle. Once again I was relieved that Albus has accepted my request to alter the bounds on the castle so that a person might apparate out of the grounds at will. It was still prohibited to apparate directly in, but I there where pants at Spinner's End that I could put on before such an endeavor.

I held onto her hand as she took in the foyer where a potted plant still lay smashed on the ground, the dirt spilling across the floor. My eyes danced between the toppled coat rack and the torn bits of her clothing that had remained behind when I had fled with her. I looked at her face and saw her looking at a gouge in the wall from where she had fought valiantly to free herself from the mongrel. I could feel my own heart rate increasing so I could only imagine what hers was doing.

She drew her wand and vanished the plant as well as the broken shards of pottery. When there was no longer dirt strewn about the floor, she padded over to stand against the wall, and I was surprised to see that she looked calm standing there in a night shirt, her torn jeans from that night inches from her bare feet.

"I think, I'd like to be on top this time if that's alright," she said, and he voice betrayed the tiny quaver of fear.

I crossed to her quickly, grasping her upper arms lightly, so I could swivel her out away from the wall. I took her spot, pressing my back right up against the wall and committing to giving her complete control of this situation as I let go of her arms and waited to see what she would do.

She closed the ground between us and pressed her lips against me. Hesitantly at first, but then her lips were as hungry as mine, and there was no hesitancy in the way our lips met. I wanted to run my hands through her hair or to wrap my arms tightly around her, but I held still with my hands pressed against the wall so I wouldn't be tempted.

"Can you sit down?" she panted against my lips, and I realized she was up on her toes stretching to reach me.

I complied immediately sliding down to the floor and stretching my legs out in front of me and putting my hands on the ground on either side of me. She lowered herself toward me, climbing into my lap with a smile on her face. She wove her fingers into my hair and pulled my face closer.

"This is much better," she sighed before she started kissing me again. "I'm ready for you to touch me too."

I reached out tentatively to put my hands on her knees where they rested by my hips. I gripped her knees and she chuckled against my lips. She reached down and pulled my hands higher. She moved them so our hands pushed her night shirt up a few inches, and my hands were gripping her upper thighs. It felt like a lifetime since I had touched her thighs and I struggled to repress a moan.

She responded with a moan of her own and I instinctively pulled on her things bringing her closer to me. I froze, but she pushed her hips forward so she was pressed right up against my most alert body part. She returned to kissing me, and when she was running her hands over the thin fabric of my t-shirt, I was acutely aware that the boxers I was wearing weren't creating much of a barrier between us. I could feel her warmth and it was making me dizzy with the lust I was feeling.

"Think about just this. Just be with me," she said as she ground against me. "Please. It will help me keep my mind in the present as well."

Her voice was growing hoarse and it was doing unspeakable things to me. I couldn't help myself any longer. I rocked my hips up to meet hers and she groaned against my lips. We were moving against each other like hormonal teenagers, and I let my hands begin to wander. I stayed outside of her night shirt, but I reacquainted my hands with her hips, her abs, he sensitive ribs, and finally her breasts. I massaged her breasts as I rocked against her, and I couldn't stop the smirk of pride when she arched into my hands.

"Mmmm, okay," she moaned at me as her hips began to crash into mine with more speed. "I'm ready. But not here. The space is reclaimed, let's go to your bed."

"Gladly," I groaned stilling her hips in their frantic movements against mine.

I helped her to stand, and then I climbed up off the floor and took her hand so I could lead her up to the bedroom. I was relieved in a way that I couldn't express to her that she didn't want to do everything right there on that spot. I didn't want that to be a dark spot in the house, but the thought of actually copulating there made my skin itch. I would much rather introduce her to the plush mattress I kept here in Spinner's End.

-`-'-

Apparently, trying to put together a wedding in a month was insane, or that was what Hermione told me as she flipped through a bridal magazine jotting down a list of everything that needed to be done on a rapidly elongating piece of parchment. I peered over her shoulder and read what she had written

 _Location(s)_

 _Invitations_

 _Minister_

 _Attendants_

 _Flowers_

 _Dresses_

 _Tuxes?_

 _Food_

I stopped reading when I realized that she was making a list of every single detail that a decision needed to be made. The list revealed more of anxiety than she did. I didn't like the idea of her being anxious over something that should be happy. I picked the list up from the table, her eyes and he quilled filled had following the motion of the parchment.

"What are you…" she said as I moved away from her, backing away from the table.

I took the parchment from the table and I dropped it into the fireplace. She jumped up from her chair with a gasp hurrying over to the fire. I thought for a moment she was actually going to stick her hand into the fire to grab it, but she stopped and turned to look at me.

"Why did you do that?" she asked me torn somewhere between surprise and being upset.

"I don't want you to be so stressed out over this," I told her, reaching out to caress her cheek. "We could get married with no one there but our witnesses, wearing pajamas and it would still be perfect to me."

"Guh, witnesses, I forgot about those," she groaned, looking at her burning list in the fire. "There are so many details."

"Let's simplify then," I suggested, my brain racing to come up with a wedding she would approve of. "Let's have something simple. We could get married by the black lake, with just as and our witnesses. Albus knows a minister who could officiate, and we can invite whoever you want to be there, few or many it doesn't matter. We don't need any flowers unless you want a bouquet, and as for the food we could have a dinner catered by the house elves, assuming we invite enough people to merit a dinner. If it's only a few guests, I could bring you home and we could make dinner with each other."

"The lake is perfect," Hermione gushed, her eyes lighting up as she took in what I had said. "We'd only need a few chairs to accommodate the people who should really be there. The witnesses need to be of legal age, so we could ask Albus I guess. Maybe one of the Weasley twins, they'd probably find something like that funny."

And she was off with the planning, this time seeming excited instead of anxious. She pulled out a new sheet of parchment and started jotting down ideas about the new ceremony idea. She pumped out an entirely different list, and when I looked I saw that details about the ceremony segued into a list of people.

"I think I have to make up with Molly," she said, drawing my attention back to her face.

"Why?" I asked her, feeling my resentment for the woman rise up instantly.

"Because I want to invite her children to the wedding," Hermione said quietly. "And I can't very well invite everyone in her family but her. Not to mention, if she's going to be there, it would be nice to avoid drama. Maybe I should give her a floo call."

"Well I support your choice either way," I said hesitantly, going to put on a tea kettle, realizing as I did it that I just wanted to occupy the fire so she wouldn't call that vile woman.

"I should invite Fleur," Hermione mused as got up from the table and started pulling out other tea supplies. "Did I tell you about her coming to talk to me after the closing ceremony for the tournament?"

"No, I believe I was distracted after the ceremony," I chuckled, remembering how I had devoted more the evening to attempting to whisk her away from the crowd and bath her in my affections.

"Well, she was very taken with my choosing to save her in the second task," Hermione explained. "She said she admired my courage, and would like very much to be friends with a person like me. She's moving to London to improve her English, and she sent me a letter the other day, I think she wants to get together for coffee or something."

She wanted to be friends with the French girl? I suppose I should stop referring to her as the French girl in my head then. I offered her a smile and tried to picture Miss Delacour at the wedding. Her penchant for drawing male attention would make the reception interesting I suppose. One second thought, perhaps we should ask her to dress down for the event.

"Oh, I need to go shopping," she gasped, nearly dropping the saucers on the floor of the kitchen. "I need a dress! I'll take Fleur with me, she loves clothes. Oh, shoot, do you mind having tea by yourself?"

"That's fine," I assured her. "I can work on wedding details if you want."

"I have a better idea of what you can work on," she smirked as she pulled on a light sweater and started backing toward the door. "You have a honeymoon to plan, because I don't want to come straight home after I marry you."

I had to clear my head of different places I would like to see her come after wedding so I could focus on actually accomplishing what she was asking of me before she returned from purchasing a wedding dress. I tried to picture where I thought she would most enjoy a honeymoon and I kept coming back to how much time we seemed to spend in the water with one another. That made somewhere with a beach seem mandatory, and I started looking into private beach locations so I might enjoy her company without clothes on, and without worrying about someone seeing my soon to be wife without her clothes on.

-`-'-

The day of July 22nd came quickly, and yet it didn't come quickly enough. The day did finally come though, and I found myself wearing the tux I had worn to the Yule Ball, standing next to the lake waiting for the moment when Hermione would walk down the aisle we had created with a trail of flowers that lead down from where I knew she was waiting in the courtyard. I saw looked at the small crowd that had gathered to watch us marry. The Weasley twins were sitting front and center, both having been chosen to be our witnesses as Albus had been asked to fill the role of the officiant when his friend who was a minister was unable to make the date we had chosen.

All of the Weasley's were here, and Molly was seated next to Arthur looking uncharacteristically sheepish. My smile grew at the memory of just fifteen minutes ago, when she had made what she probably believed to be an innocent comment to her son about the lack of wedding attendants. She had wondered aloud if Hermione did not have a bridesmaid because she couldn't get one, instead of simply not wanting one. Arthur had dressed her down, and a way that I knew to be unfamiliar from the days I had observed them in the order. Molly was properly put in her place when Arthur pointed out that her suspicions are untrue, but were probably second by other bored woman who believed everything they read in the paper.

I listened to the cello that played itself sitting off to the side, waiting for the shift that would signal that Hermione was coming. It was still a few minutes until the ceremony was supposed to start, but I was starting to get antsy. I wanted to be married to her already.

When the sun was just starting to set, casting beautiful pink light over the grounds, the cello began to play the wedding march, and I caught my first sight of Hermione making her way down the aisle. He white dressed caught the changing light beautifully, and her brown hair and flowers stood out strikingly against her skin. As she walked closer her face came into focus and I saw that she had a breath taking smile. It broadened the smile on my own face and I was tempted to make my way up the aisle to meet her.

When she made it to me she handed her bouquet to Albus and I took her hands in mine. She was absolutely radiant today. Her hair was slightly curled and cascaded over her shoulders. She wore very little makeup but her cheeks were pink giving her an ethereal beauty like a wood nymph.

I listened vaguely to the words Albus was saying about love and commitment, finding myself lost in those brown eyes that always found a way to captivate me. Albus prompted me to recite my vows after him, and I did so will love pouring out of each word. I watched as those brown eyes began to tear up, and I squeeze her hands where they rested in mine.

"With this ring, I thee wed," I said as I slid my ring back on to her finger, placing a quick chaste kiss on her knuckles before I took her hands in mine again.

She recited the same vows to me, and I felt my heart rate increase and my stomach flutter as she made promises of a lifetime together to me. She procured the ring from Albus as he instructed her on the last line to recite.

"With this ring, I thee wed," she said, her voice trembling with all of the emotion she was feeling, as she slid the silver band onto my finger.

"With the power invested in me by the ministry of magic, I now pronounce you husband and wife," Albus said with a beaming smile. "You may now kiss the bride."

I pulled Hermione to me, and it felt like the world stopped spinning when my lips met hers. Part of my mind registered that there was a crowd watching us and clapping, but I was wrapped up entirely in the new Mrs. Snape. I broke the kiss out of propriety, but I did not let her go, I would never let her go again.

We turned to face the crowd, both beaming with our joy, arms wrapped around each other's backs. They were all on their feet clapping, and I could see that they were very happy for us. Almost as happy as we were.

Hermione took her bouquet back from Albus, and together the two of us lead the others around the curve of the lake to where there were tables set up, and floating candles were beginning to light themselves as the sun disappeared on the horizon. An unmanned violin and piano joined the cello in a musical swell, and we began receiving the guests. We shared hugs, handshakes and congratulations from our guests before they continue on to grab a bite to eat before the dancing would begin. I even shared a brief one armed hug with Sirius Black, who had his beaming Godson in tow. The two were inseparable now that Harry was not living with Lily's sister, Petunia or something like that.

We had a quick bite to eat, and then it was time for the first dance. The instruments transitioned into an upbeat waltz and I Hermione and I moved gracefully through the grass. Everything was perfect with the world as I held her in my arms and spun her around. Hermione giggled when I dipped her down toward the ground, and once again I was sure that I had just experienced a powerfully happy moment that would stay with me forever.

When our first song had ended others began to join us on the dance floor. We held each other close as we continued to dance, but we also took in the crowd around us. Everyone seemed so happy, and peaceful. I followed Hermione's eye line and saw that she was watching Fleur who was laughing while she danced with the older Weasley child. It had been awhile since he had been at Hogwarts, but I was fairly sure his name was Bill. Hermione seemed happy that her friend seemed happy. I was happy the Fleur wasn't up to her veela ways, like she had been all through the year while her school had cohabitated ours.

The rest of the night seemed to fly by in snap shots.

Hermione throwing the bouquet into the group of waiting girls.

Removing her garter, and shooting it at the waiting boys.

Kissing Hermione to the sound of more clapping and the clinking champagne glasses.

And finally, golden sparks being shot over our heads as we made our way off into the night. We went to the bounds to apparate away, even though it was no longer necessary. Our things were waiting for us on the island we were going to, so there was no need to change out of our wedding clothes. I placed one more kiss on her lips as I pulled her into my arms bridal style, and then I turned on the spot pulling us through space.

* * *

 **Ch: 20 Song for this chapter: All of Your Love by Hellogoodbye**

 **HPOV**

Severus took me to an island. A perfect, empty island, that was just for us. There was a small house where we slept, but other than that we hardly spent any time there. We swam, we played, we explored. We spent so much time together in the sun, that each of us were growing incredibly tan. We had discovered so many things together both good and not so good on our little island.

We discovered that neither of us enjoyed the taste of salt water, but also that we loved being in a body of water that had rolling waves. We discovered that we both loved doing yoga in the early morning sun, but that neither of us were huge fans of running in the sand.

We discovered that we might be a bit exhibitionist, and that we might have to work on not doing that when we returned to the real world, and work at the castle. We had coupled in the house, and on the beach. We'd been together in the water, and amongst the palm trees. We had taken to not wearing clothing at all, and it made our decisions to couple at any given time, much easier to realize. Returning to Hogwarts, and having to wear clothes again was going to be a real hardship. Not seeing Severus and his lean body under the sunlight without a stitch of clothing to obscure my view was difficult to let go.

We spent a night out on the beach, with the original intention of stargazing while we lay atop the fleece blanket we had spread out in the sand. We'd discovered early on in the honeymoon, that having sand in certain places was unpleasant. Severus had the noblest of intentions, and was actually focusing on the stars, pointing out constellations and telling me their stories. I had no noble intentions whatsoever.

"What about this constellation," I asked him, derailing his train of thought about Andromeda.

"Which one?" he asked me when he saw I wasn't pointing it out.

"This one here," I saw as I traced my finger along his abdomen, connecting the six moles were sprinkled across the skin there in an elaborate pattern. "It appears to be in the shape of an orchid."

"And orchid, really?" he asked me, propping himself up on his elbows so he could look down at me. "It looked like a wonky widespread circle to me."

"No I think it's definitely an orchid," I told him as I leaned in to place a kiss in the center of my imagined constellation that happened to rest at the top of his happy trail. "Do you know what an orchid reminds me of Severus?"

"What's that?" he shuddered as I traced my tongue over his skin.

"Oh come now Severus," I chided, like he was the student now. "Don't you think there is a certain part of anatomy that resembles the orchid?"

His brow furrowed as he gave it real thought, but then I began to kiss lower and I knew he wasn't thinking about the flower anymore. Instead he was thinking about how it felt to have my tongue swirling around his rapidly hardening appendage. I pulled him into my mouth, humming around him. His hips jerked slightly against me, and I knew he was fighting the urge to thrust into my mouth.

I started to move my head up and down as I continued to suck on him. His groans of pleasure egged me on, and I increased my speed. I braced my hands on his thighs, massaging his muscles instinctively and he groaned louder. His hand snaked down to tangle in my hair, and I wondered if he was going to be rough. It was something we hadn't addressed since that night that I had broken down in his chambers, but it was something I found I was still intrigued by. Or at least, that is what I assumed must be the case, when I thought he might be about to pull my hair and my arousal spiked.

But he didn't pull my hair in the way I expected him to. He gently pulled up as his hips started to jerk. He pulled me up and off of him as he came, and held my cheek in his hand while I watched his release. He was so amazing when he climaxed, every worry line disappeared from his features as his features lit up with the bliss he was feeling. I always loved his face, but I particularly loved his face when he was making that face.

"That was unexpected," he chuckled as he pulled me up his chest so he could claim my lips. "Unexpected, but much appreciated."

"Anytime," I laughed as I peppered his face with kisses.

"Now, I'd like to have a closer look at this orchid," he said huskily, and in the brief pause where I raised my eyebrow at him, he flipped me onto my back and slid in between my legs. "It is after all a very beautiful flower.

His exploration of my flower was thorough and rather exemplary. His oral technique was incredibly rousing, and left me a right hot mess. I writhed beneath him begging for a release that he did eventually give to me. Multiple times. I would gladly let Severus investigate my orchid every day for the rest of the summer if he was going to make it such a wonderful experience.

We spent the majority of the summer on that beach in the Caribbean. Eventually we had to go back, and rejoin our lives, but for a long time we just were. We let go the worries of the world and reveled in our love for one another. It was perfect. And in a way it was still perfect when we went back to Spinner's end. We had a few weeks before we had to return to the castle, and I found myself nesting in our home. Since we were remodeling, we had to get back into the practice of wearing clothes. However between bouts of re-plastering and painting the walls in the foyer, I invested quite bit of time in taking Severus's clothes back off.

I had yet to see what my chambers would be like when I took my post as apprentice at the school, but I hoped they would be something like the home we were making together here in Spinner's end. I wanted something warm, that had windows that would let in the sunlight, or at least windows that could give the illusion of sunlight. I also really hoped that my home at school would include Severus, but I was hesitant to allow myself to be hopeful about what the headmaster's decision on that would be. He had shown his support of our marriage in his acceptance of being our officiant, but there was so much history of him showing the opposite of support for us that I just couldn't be sure.


End file.
